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birth control
ok. i'm young. 14. and i have considered having sex with a boy that is a year older than me. he refuses to have sex without a condom. but i know even with it, it could break or whatever. i want to have sex with him. i feel ready. the only thing is i want to go on birth control, but my parent can't find out. 1-i live in a rndom place, the closest planned parenthood is pretty far. so where can i buy it. like wal-mart, walgreens ? what is a good kind that isn't that much. like i can pay like up to $40, maybe $50 a month for it. and do you need to have a doctor's ezam or whatever first ?
thank you so much for anyone that helps. :]
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If it were me, i would use double dutch. Thats wear you use contraceptive pills AND a condom. They're not very expensive, but you will need to go to a chemist/doctor to buy them/pick them up. Although you are under age, so you do know that it is breaking the law? you may need to have a Dr.s exam, i'm not too sure sorry.
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To answer your question:
To purchase birth control pills one needs to see a doctor first and usually have a pap smear done. A pap smear is a routine doctor's visit a woman goes to once a year usually to make sure everything is healthy. Before engaging in sex it's very important you have one done any way just to make sure there isn't anything abnormal. They usually check for cancer, abnormal cells caused by HPV, and even cysts.
So, pick up the phone and make an appointment with your local gynecologist to have an exam (or see your regular doctor for a referral). You should be truthful and let them know if you have been sexually active before or if you are planning to become sexually active. They will write you a prescription (that probably will last for 6 months or more) for a birth control pill after the exam. You then take the prescription to your local pharmacy and they will fill it for you. Please follow the directions your doctor instructs exactly.
I understand it's your body, your choice, your life, and possibly even your mistake but I felt I should point a few things out to you after answering your question.
I am simply concerned for your well-being and I don't want to see you back here in a few months, pregnant and miserable. It's best to keep your self informed of what I'm about to say so that you can avoid major tragedies in your life.
I feel like I should bring some things to your attention that you may have overlooked or that you simply were not aware of before. I want you to be in the best situation possible, you see. I noticed that you're not aware of something you should be fully knowledgeable before engaging in sexual activity and I am concerned.
If you've read what I said above on how to purchase a birth control pill and you think you're not able to see a doctor in fear of parents finding out then you should really reevaulate what you're doing. You will be breaking a bond between your parents, risking your body of catching STDs or getting pregnant (who would you tell then?), and lying. Sex is an adult activity and if you can't be adult enough to tell your family that you are engaging in sex then maybe--just MAYBE--you're not ready to put yourself in that situation.
Before starting sexual activity you and your partner should both be very aware of all possible consequences. It is important to be informed so that nobody is hurt in any way at any time. You should really check out some photos of STDs/STIs and what pregnancy at such a young age does to a woman's body before rushing into things. Like I said, it's better to be informed than to trip into something you're absolutely clueless about.
STDs:
Many people now have STDs or STIs and don't even know it. Mothers can also pass their STDs onto their babies so everyone is pretty much at risk of having something they can pass along to others. It's important to be picky on who you have sexual relations with because if you contract an STD/STI from them then some really bad things can happen--including life-long illness, infertility, and brain deterioration.
No method of birth control is 100% effective. Even if you use two methods of birth control there is still a pregnancy risk. No matter what birth control you use, you also risk contracting an STD or STI.
Here is a list of some super scary facts about STDs. You'd be surprised at how many people now have some sort of STD and how much money we put toward trying to cure them. This is a really interesting link and it gives you a lot of think about and discuss with your partner:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is also a link of photos of various STDs. Most of the photos are of males but there are a few female photos in there. Some are very scary. Don't worry about many photos popping up when you click the link, they're behind other links so you can choose which ones you might want to check out:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Pregnancy:
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child. Having a child means being completely selfless because they need 100% of your attention 100% of the time. Having children means major sacrifices, especially in the emotional department.
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, consider the consequences of that action too. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.
You're aware you're not financially and emotionally ready to be a parent or you wouldn't worry about pregnancy. I'm sure you want to give your future children the best possibly life and if you contract an STD you may not be able to have children, may be too sick to raise them completely, or may pass something along to them.
It would be especially scary if your partner impregnated you and then left the relationship for you to handle all of the childcare. Being left with not enough income, time, or emotional support to offer a child is frightening. This scenario is happening like crazy all of the world now. People should try to be more pickier on who they reproduce with so they avoid such horrible situations.
Here are some facts about how much a baby costs within the first year of life; you should really check it out just for future issues as the knowledge could come in very handy:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Virginity:
Virginity should be more valuable than we make it. It's a special thing that we only get one of no matter what we do. The media feeds us a bunch of crap telling us that if we love someone we should give them our bodies. Instead we should be showing our love in other ways and making wedding night extra special for that person. Contrary to popular belief, sex does not make us attractive, rich, famous, liked, or popular.
Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. Even if you've already lost your virginity or are definite on losing it, it's still really interesting to look at. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Communication and Knowledge:
Before engaging in any sexual activity you need to sit down and discuss everything with your partners. He needs to be just as informed as you are. He needs to know all of the little details--the good and the bad. Have him check out the links with you if possible so he knows the facts too.
So, sit down with your partner and discuss STDs/STIs (look at some photos), pregnancy expenses (just in case), and having a new sexual encounter (possible loss of virginity).
I wish you luck on becoming more knowledgeable about sexual activity so that we don't see you again here in fear of a pregnancy.
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Before I answer your question..I want to address the legality issue about underage sex. Keep in mind that the laws are different depending on which state you live in, and which country you live in.
For instance, I live in Texas. Unless they changed the law while I wasn't looking- and I am researching this right now- it is not illegal to have consensual sex as a minor as long as you are both still minors. If one of you is not a minor..say the guy is 17 (legal adult in Texas) he can be prosecuted for statutory rape if, and only if, he is three years older than the girl. If this happens it goes on his permanent record as rape and he must report to the local law authorities and be listed on the Texas state website as a sex offender. (keep in mind that assuming that it is reported).
As I said, I'm still researching..attempting to find a federal law that would override a state law.
If you don't mind answering, and you certainly DO NOT have to...what state/country do you reside in?
After I clear this up, I will address your original question.
Lily Pad, would it be rude to ask where you found your legal information?
Working on it sweetie! Keep in mind there isn't any rush!..*smile*
Jasmine..
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Okay, still researching a bit, but realized something when I stepped away..most counties have some sort of county OB/GYN clinic that is free. The best way that you might find out is to call and ask if they would make you an appointment for a fourteen year old. If it is legal in your area, they would tell you so, and include any stigmas attached to it. For instance, "only if you have a parents permission, etc." You could remain completely anonymous and just tell them your birthdate or year of birth!
IF it is a possibility, make that appt! They are likely much closer to you than planned parenthood is. I have always been of a mind, that if someone decides to have intercourse with someone they care about, it's going to happen whether the state, parents, etc approve of it or not; and I would much rather you take precautions than end up pregnant!!!
Honestly, I am much like my mother was. When she saw that I was gaining interest in my sexuality she came to me and told me (I loved her so!) that if and when I decide to have sex, (but she hoped I would wait until I was married)..that she would take me and put me on the pill herself. AND because we had such an honest and great relationship..when I told her I was ready she kept true to her word without any lectures. (of course, when dad found out he flipped..said she was giving me permission to have sex *laugh*..like it would have made a difference *heh*)
Because most of my friends weren't so fortunate as to have an understanding and loving parent: I watched many of my friends become pregnant and most of them dropped out of school! I am SO grateful that my mother did that for me! I did NOT get pregnant and I finished High School graduating in the top 1/3 or my class- with honors! In fact, I didn't have my first child until I was 29, and by that time I was well and ready to take on the responsibilities of motherhood without any fear whatsoever.
My main concern is that you DO NOT become pregnant, and I could preach abstinence all day long (and blow some hot air, try and place my moral values on you etc-it's just not my style!) Because it's your decision and you will do what you decide to do no matter what I (or any legal institution) has to say. That is a fact proven time after time throughout the ages.
I like that this guy insists on using a condom, good for him! And I hope that you can get that appt! At the very least call the 1-800 # of planned parenthood for resources and information..the counselors there are extremely kind and helpful!
Be sure that this is what you want...not b/c someone justs wants you to do it. I can assure you that for most of us, the first time is not anything like we "romanticize" about..for must of us it is painful, messy and a bit clumsy. You won't ever forget it, but I doubt you will experience any fireworks...that takes time and, unfortunately, maturity...*yawns at self*...
Good luck on whatever you decide and be careful!
Jasmine
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You know those little girls running around pregnant? Don't let that be you. Any guy that refuses to use a condom is just a flat out dickhead. Specially a 15-year-old that probably thinks too highly of himself--which is usually the case when guys say that. But anyway, birth control isn't over the counter--you need a doctor.
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You need a perscription.
Look, I know you don't want to hear it, but wouldn't you rather wait until your older to have sex? Most people regret not saving it. You can't ever have it back. And it is illegal to have sex under the age of 16.
UPDATE:
Nevermind in Massachusetts the law has been invalidated.
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