|
13/f freindships/sex
I hate asking for advice but I feel I need to, Ok so I started daiting this year and I have had my fare share of b/f's. All of my b/f's want me to have sex and im not ready I had things happen to me when I as little and its just well I still havent gotton over it. I keep getting dumped because I wont go passed making out.
What should I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Be picky when it comes to guys. That's the best way to change things, because right now I'm guessing guys are going out with you because they think it's easy sex. Well you proved them wrong and that's something I applaud you for! What I suggest you do is that you stay single until you find someone that truly cares about you. If they really love you then you won't have to worry about that and they will not give you up for something like sex. Good luck girl, stay strong!!
]
Honey, that's their problem. You do what's right for you. I'm so glad you haven't given up your virginity, because it really is very special, and we both know you can't get it back.
There might be a lot of pressure on you, but you know what you feel.
Because to tell you the truth, it's a lose-lose situation: You give it up to them, most likely they're gonna leave you. You don't give it up to them, they're most likely gonna leave you.
You don't need to do anything but keep sticking up for yourself. YOU GO, GIRL !
Jess
]
I know you're being pressured to have sex but I want you to know that I'm so proud of you for not giving in to the peer pressure.
If a boy is pressuring you to go past making out then he isn't worth your time. Any GOOD guy wouldn't pressure you at all but would assume that he needed to wait until wedding night anyway. There ARE guys out there that are more than willing to wait until it's the right time (wedding night) so please hold out for that special guy for you.
The thing to do is make it very clear in the beginning of the relationship that you are not willing to go past making-out. It is perfectly acceptable to talk to the boy about this and it really shows how respectful you are of yourself. It is then up to the boy to decide if he can wait for sex. Make it clear that you will not give in no matter what and you're not afraid to dump him if he pressures you.
If the guy leaves and says bad things about you then know that you can hold your head up high for passing another hurdle in life. There is no reason why you should be having sex. It is doubtful that any 13 year old is ready to deal with the consequences of having children and that is what sex was intended for.
I know the media is feeding teens and young adults such crap now but please do not buy into it. Sex does not make you attractive, popular, smart, wealthy, or even liked. Having sex does not prove you love anyone at all (hey, prostitutes have sex every day) and we should be going out of our ways to figure out how to show we care in other ways to people.
It sounds as if you know this already, but sex puts people in a vulnerable state in many way. You have to be emotionally ready with yourself and with your partner to have sex. A person really needs to be married when they have sex with their partner because a lot of the emotional needs will be fulfilled and it will be a lot better. There aren't hang-ups like they are with sex outside marriage really. You don't worry if the person is using you, going to leave you, REALLY cares about you, and you can communicate better about what you like/dislike so that things are more comfortable.
Your virginity is special and people should not be devaluing it like they are. Giving your virginity away to your husband on wedding night is an awesome gift that would be cherished and well-received. Be proud that you aren't having sex. Hold your head up high when people talk about you because secretly they are wishing they had waited because you're not missing anything. They have such bad sex lives they degrade the value of it and say it isn't a big deal. It IS a big deal and if they had been emotionally, physically, and mentally ready for it they would know how wonderful it can be to share such things with your husband/wife.
You may be choosing to not have sex because of something that happened to you in the past but there are many other reasons why you should not engage in it until you are married. Here is a good link to 25 reasons to wait until that special night with that special man (even if you do have sex later on it's still very interesting to read and just something to think about):
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
The next time you decide to be boyfriend/girlfriend with a boy have the talk with him. You may want to share the link above with him so that he knows how special virginity is. You may also want to share some of the following links with him because if he does choose to engage in sex he needs to know all of the facts about it.
Here is a link to costs of a baby in the first year alone:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Like I said, it's doubtful that our teens are able to raise a baby successfully even in the first year. A baby needs 100% of your time always, all of your attention, all of your money, and all of your emotional and intellectual parts. Teenagers are not ready to handle this and they don't realize that with each and every sexual act they are risking putting themselves in a hard situation. Remember, no protection is 100% effective, and even when you use two methods there is STILL a chance.
Here is a link to some super scary facts about STDs that everyone should know about before engaging in sexual activity:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
STDs and STIs can really mess a person up. They can cause you to look deformed, a person to become infertile, and even major brain deterioration. They're easily caught and spread and many people never show symptoms of them until it's in late stages.
Here is a link of photos of what STDs look like. The photos are graphic and of mainly males. It's okay to click the link because it isn't going to pop any photos up right away--you have to choose which one you want to see first. I am sharing this with you to show how serious STDs are and that people aren't kidding when they say this:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I wish you luck on getting over what happened when you were younger as well. There are support groups you can join and people you can talk to. You may want to suggest to your guardian about you seeing a therapist if you're ready to talk.
Please make sex special and don't give into your peer pressure. You're a wonderful person and you deserve wonderful things. Share the knowledge I've given you with your peers.
]
you refusing to not have sex,
is the best thing for you, and trust they are
guys who date guys not for sex, and those are the type of guys you need to find.
so go for the sweet non sexual guys and not for the jerks.
hope i"ve helped
]
What should you do?
Well, keep on getting dumped.
Yah, I know that sucks, but really, do you want to have a boyfriend who's willing to dump you because you aren't ready for sex? That goes to show what kind of jerk he really is.
I promise you will come across a guy who will respect your boundaries.
NEVER let a guy pressure you into anything you aren't ready to do.
ygs-29/f
]
i understand how you feel.
but if a guy really loves you and cares about you then he wouldn't rush you and he would wait intill you feel comfortable.
Guys may say that they love you but saying something and showing it are two totally different things.
from,
<<pinkcherries>>
]
More Questions: |