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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
12 year old female.
I can think of people I like, but it seems the more i get to know people, the more i can't stand them. There are 4 of my friends where i can stand them. The boys at my school are all annoying fucks who think I'm a lesbian (and won't FUCKING let it go) except a few guys i can stand. Last year i got stuck with the most annoying bitchy girls. In a group project, two of them fucked around the whole time, the boy who started the lesbian crap was acting more on task then them (he has ADHD btw), the only thing the kids i get in a group project with seem to do is fuck around. The popular girls are ego-maniacs, the nerds are self-righteous assholes, two girls i thought were my friends are bipolar narcassistic cunts, a girl i thought was my friend is a dumb slut and got mad at me over nothing (I canceled my birthday party WHOOPDIEFUCKINGDOO) and through a shit fit WEEKS after it happened. Everyone i meet seems to want to fuck me over somehow. And no one can mind their own buissness. I don't want to go to school and hang out with all these dumbasses
Just what is your question? Are you asking us if you are the only sane person in a sea of insanity? If that's your question the usual answer is the problem is probably you.
Let’s start with the letter you wrote to us. Really intelligent people do not need to insert four letter words in each sentence to make or get their point across. Being able to spout curse words does not make you an adult. Being able to say what you mean, especially to strangers many of whom are adults as are us, does make you an adult. Cursing is a childish and gutter form of talking and does not look good when written in formal or informal communication.
You are I believe highly intelligent capable of better writing. Use your intellect and not your anger when dealing with others. You should be in middle school now. This is a time of transition not only in schooling but in interpersonal skills. This is the first step into the adult world you enter as a teenager.
I understand between friends there are times to curse but not every sentence. Before I retired when I was working I was at a National Meeting of the company I worked for. I was talking with my manager and another guy from my region when the other guy said to my manger, "Doesn't he ever curse." My manager said, "I've never heard him curse." "I replied, we work in two different environments, one where cursing is acceptable and one where it is not." "I know all the words but chose not to use them so as not to curse when in the environment where it is not acceptable." "When as a volunteer firefighter down the fire station to get the knuckle heads on the truck and out the door; yea I curse like a sailor."
What I'm saying is that people judge you in many different ways. You are being very judgmental maybe rightfully so, that I can't say. Everyone is different; no one is going to work as you do and you cannot expect them to. You need to learn to accept people for their faults as well as for their attributes.
You would not talk to your parents the way you wrote to us. If you’re talking to your friends and others like this it is possible that your language needs to be cleaned up to be acceptable to them.
When the whole world is wrong and you are the only one right; the problem generally is with you.
I'm currently in my first semester of sophomore year in college and I feel like I'm not doing anything important or that I like. I got into the Geology program at first but missed my artistic side so I changed to the English program but was left yearning for more. If it were by me I'd be studying in the US for something like Film, Directing, Animation, or Dance. I wish I could go into the acting business, but I don't have enough experience to get into any acting program or school, barely a few minor roles in school acts (if you can call them that). I sort of far-fetched dream of mine is to work for Disney either as an actress or animator, but I have no idea where to start. Plus I'm pretty sure I have some sort of mental condition (among depression or bipolar disorder, I would say) but every time I try to bring up the topic with my mother I feel awkward about saying it and actually feel bad about it - like I'm just putting another burden on her or that it will make her feel bad that I'd been lying all the times I talked to her on the phone about how great everything was going for me and how happy I felt here. I feel unmotivated and worthless sometimes, which drives me into this tiny shell and I refuse to come out. I feel extremely bad about this, but sometimes I even think about suicide. Its not something I'm proud of, but everyday just feels like a drag and I start wondering how I could do it - how I could take my life. Then instantly, regret and guilt come right at me because I know that life is precious, but sometimes... I don't know, I guess I feel like no one really cares nor needs me. My family doesn't need me for anything, most of the friends I have don't really help me when I need the help whilst I help them whenever I can, I've never had a boyfriend and sometimes I doubt my sex appeal to men, and I'm basically a nobody. I could probably die and no one would really care. So that makes me wonder... why even care about college? Why care about the future? Its not like there's anything waiting for me.
You say you would like to study in the US. You use terms that make me feel you may live in Canada. Canada has National Health. I do not believe you need you mother's permission to see a doctor now that you are of age and in college.
From what you write you may very well have some form of depression. As long as it goes untreated you are going to have the problems you write about with school and a career as it is the depression clouding you thinking.
Most colleges have a Clinic or some form of medical center. I suggest you go there and ask to be screened for depression. Tell them about the suicidal thoughts as it is important. If your school does not have a clinic go to the nearest hospital and ask for help, again asking for screening for depression because of suicidal thoughts.
Should you have more suicidal thoughts before you see a doctor. Canada has a 911 system. Call 911 and ask for help.
I have suffered with Clinical Depression which may be what you are suffering with. It is easily dealt with as it is hormonal in nature and medication does help along with talk therapy to get at the root cause of the stress causing the depression.
Once the fog and the distorted perception depression causes you will see things differently and you will have a better self-image. should you still need help with career choice at that time write back and I or anyone else will be happy to help you
I'm a female, and my weight is 100 pounds. My height 5'2 my band size for a bra is 28 inches. I was supposed to get my period at age 12 said my doctor, my breasts have devoloped but they stayed the same size since 5th grade! Do I have delayed puberty? I don't eat much not because of a disorder I am just not hungry. This is not not normal, correct?
We are not doctors so we cannot make diagnoses. To answer your question it is not unheard of for a young girl to be a late bloomer and not enter puberty until 14 or 15. My sister was just such a young girl and did not get her first period until her mid-14th year and her breast started develop about the same time.
One thing I know for certain is that if you are underweight puberty and development can be delayed. I will explain in a moment. At 100 pounds you are definitely underweight just how much depends on your frame size. (See chart below)
Height Small Frame Medium Frame Large Frame
5'2" 108-121 118-132 128-143
The body is designed with one primary objective which is to keep the brain functioning. If you do not take in a sufficient amount of calories each day to allow the body to maintain all of the systems of the body then body decides which functions it must maintain and which it can live without. Puberty is a function the body can delay and function normally without having to select a system to shut down.
If you were to lose any more weight your body will have to decide, if there insufficient body fat to draw on, to shut down a system so as to maintain the most important systems. Most likely that system would be the kidneys. What follows if there is still insufficient calorie intake the body shuts down the liver, then lungs, then the heart and finally the brain and the body dies. This is how a person with anoxia dies.
My suggestion is you see an internist doctor. Have your hormone levels checked to see if you have entered puberty. While I do not believe you have an eating disorder, you should be evaluated for one to find out why you are unable to gain weight. The doctor may recommend fortified drinks to increase your calorie intake so you gain weight.
In a sense you are similar to women Olympic athletes. Because they train as hard as they do they cannot take in enough calories to replace what they use while training? While they are in training they do not get their periods and their development is stunted. When they stop training puberty hits then like a ton of bricks.
My uneducated thinking is this is your problem. You are not eating enough to replace the calories you use each day. I don't believe you have a true eating disorder but you need to be evaluated for your own best interest. Once you start gaining weight puberty will start and things will happen fast. See a doctor, my suggestion that doctor be an Internist and ask the right questions.
21/f I apologize in advance for length.
A little background:
I've been suffering from clinical depression since I was 16. I had never been sure of why I was so depressed until a couple years ago, realizing it was my incredibly low self-esteem and self-worth issues. I have a self-harm problem and I've tried committing suicide 4 times, ending up in the hospital 3 of those times due to overdose. Therapy and anti-depressant/anxiety meds have helped me.
One of the major side-effects of my depression is my irritability. My annoyances and anger, though I do very well in containing them, have been extreme since my depression surfaced (I tend to think it was being a teenager AND being depressed).
My mom is very passive-aggressive, and always hides her stress and negative emotions, however will lash out in weird ways, like ignoring me, snubbing me or giving me one-word answers. She picks up on my irritability and automatically assumes it's a jab at her, so she responds with ignoring me (which obviously stresses me more). We've sat down and talked about it at least 6 times, I've apologized and told her it's not about her, but it has yet to click.
My last attempt on my life was this April. A few weeks after, I moved in with my newlywed older sister because nearby there was a summer temp job I accepted. My sister commonly reported to my mom (I talked with my mom regularly, so there was no need for her to nose in) that I came straight home, watched Netflix and went to bed. While true, I was proud of myself for finally doing what I wanted (resting physically and emotionally) instead of only doing things for others, like hanging out with them, and exhausting myself, which would worsen my condition, stress me out, and make me irritable, starting the pattern again.
2 months of living with them, my temp job was ending in a week in a half. I came home, and my step-dad and sister's husband were waiting for me. They informed me that after my temp job, I was no longer welcome to live back at my mom's house. Therefore, would need to find a job, place to stay, place for my dog to stay, insurance, title and plates on car, etc, and my source of income was ending 1 and 1/2 weeks. They left me home alone the rest of the weekend with that news. My boyfriend was worried and called them for help since he was far away and my mom replied "There's nothing we can do."
Luckily my dad has taken me in while I find a job and save for a place, but he lives in a small trailer (his construction project for now), and there's no room for my Husky, so he's still at my sisters.
From what I've heard, it seemed to my sister and her husband that I was not improving. They have not discussed that notion with me, but reported it to my mom. My mom now is growing stomach ulcers. Unfortunately, with the way she handles stress (she doesn't...), I saw this coming. She didn't want her health to suffer more so they didn't want me back. They thought I should be improving since they found out about my condition 1 year and a half ago (it's been going on FAR longer). They also don't want to "enable" my depression...
It just screwed up my finally-budding confidence to have my life flipped upside-down like this. I know they don't hate me, but my depressed side is hard to convince. It's not my fault that I have this stupid condition. I would wish it away in a heartbeat. But it's also not my fault that her health has suffered. My sister got married and mom was almost in charge of the whole thing, and now my sister's pregnant (good news, still a lot of planning, etc.) My younger brother has no interest in college, drinks underage against her wishes, causes a lot of trouble. He moved out of state with this girlfriend we all hated, she cheated months after, now he's back home. My mom's job is also a insurance claims manager. Basically all this to say I am NOT her only stress, however I do understand it's a rather large chunk. But... That months earlier in the hospital she was saying that she wanted me to understand how special I was, and then to turn around and basically say she can't handle me any more? It crushed me after I was finally making progress with myself. Now I have to start over.
It's been two weeks since living with my dad. My dad is trying to force me to call my mom. I CAN'T. I. CAN'T. I'm in the shock/anger stage of things. Calling her would only result in anger and yelling, and would just stress her out. But my dad's playing the "dad" card and trying to make his 21 year-old do something she's not ready for (yeah, good luck buddy). I'm just so angry, and the few friends that I've told have been so understanding, but no one else in the situation seems to get why I'm so upset about this (my sister, mom, dad, etc.) I'm not tooooo sure of what I'm asking here, I guess... Can anyone shed some light on the subject? Does anyone else understand how I feel? Am I justified in not feeling ready to call my mom? Thanks for listening.
I too have suffered from clinical depression and know how hard it is on you because those around you who love you cannot fully understand the problem. The weird thing about clinical depression is that it is not anything like manic depression with the ultra high and ultra lows which people seem to understand better.
Clinical depression is stress related. stress causes pain, pain causes depression and depression causes stress. It a cycle as you know. Those of us that suffer with this do not need additional outside stress. Yet that's what we get most of the time.
I don't have any magic answer for you other than if you are not in therapy you need to get back into therapy. You need a good therapist to help you work through stress and help you deal with all of this. If you are not on any medications then you should discuss what is going on with a board Certified psychiatrist to see if medication will help.
With the help of an antidepressant and therapy I believe the stress can be relieved and things will be cleared and easier dealt with. Talk with your therapist about bring mom and your step-dad into a therapy session and have your therapist explain what YOU want them to know about Clinical Depression as it appears they are woefully ignorant of this illness.
My wife works in the mental health field though not a clinician. She thought she knew what she needed to know about clinical depression. While she knew more than most she was still sadly deficient in what she knew. My therapist talked me in to allowing her and my son come to a therapy session. They thought they were coming to talk about their problems with me and they did. Then she turned on them and told them how their problems with me were working against me. They both apologized and even though my son who was also diagnosed with clinical depression his was totally different then mine.
I'm now in recovery and my wife now also knows what to look for so I don't regress back. It is totally up to you to invite you parents into a therapy session as they are your sessions. For me it was the right thing to do.
My advice in short is: Get back into therapy. Talk to your therapist about family counseling. Talk to a Board Certified Psychiatrist about medication. IF your on medication it may need to be changed or if not on medication I'm sure the doctor will offer you something that will help.
Most importantly you have to put you first. Don't be so hard on yourself and lean on your therapist for help. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. With hard work and the help of your therapist you can get there.
I am 32 weeks pregnant. I am dealing with a lot of stress right now due to the fact I'm pregnant by someone I'm not with. I know there are a lot of single mothers out there but I never through I would be one. & on top of that the guy I'm pregnant by I'm still in love with. when I got pregnant he told me it was gonna be okay we were gonna be a family & he's gonna be here for me. but I'm 8 MONTHS PREGNANT NOW & NOTHING has changed its only gotten worse. he's with someone else & SHES PREGNANT TOO, 5 months to be exact. he doesn't come to my appointments never has actually & he doesn't help me with anything. he doesn't even call me to make sure I'm okay.. it hurts because first I love him & I really thought things were going to work second he's having another baby!! & it's sad because he's there for her during her pregnancy but hasn't been here for me ONCE. my FIRST question how do I get through this? through this pain. I want to be OVER him & I want to be okay with everything even though it's not okay. I want to be stable for my baby boy.. I want him to have a strong mother to look up to. SECOND question, shouldn't he be going to my appointments, checking up on me, & making sure they baby is okay? ALSO helping me pay for the medical bills? because I have no insurance. is he wrong for not helping me??? please I need answers & advice! thank you..
The father of your child has certain legal responsibilities to you and the baby he fathered. By yourself it appears you are not going to get him to live up to his responsibilities. These responsibilities are all financial and you cannot force him to go to doctors appointments with you or to be there when his son is born. For that you should chose a birthing partner.
To force the father of your son to live up to his legal obligations you need to see a lawyer now, on Monday if you can. From the day your son is born until the boy is 18 he must give you child support, keep medical insurance covering the boy and have life insurance to cover the cost of cost of child support and medical insurance in the event of his death.
Every state has slightly different requirements but those are the basics. TO make sure he supplies these to you and the child you need a lawyer to draw up the legal papers needed to get a court order. Within the court order will be his right to visitation and to custody of the child. Generally the courts award custody to the mother.
Do not be surprised if he tries for custody. He most likely, given his track record so far, will not get it. It is just an end run around the child support issue. Also do not be surprised if he asks for a paternity test. Again this is just a legal tactic to delay the inevitable and upset you enough to accepting a lesser offer than the courts would award.
Don't get upset, don't let him win and do not talk to him once he is served with the legal summons to court. Let your lawyer do all the talking for you from that point on. Yes you may love him though it is obvious that once you became pregnant he moved on. HE does not deserve you and he is going to try and use your love for him to manipulate you. Do not let him.
I know guys like him. They are players who only care about themselves. You and the other lady he has gotten pregnant are going to need to keep you lawyers on speed dial to keep him responsible for the children he has fathered.
My advice is simple see a lawyer ASAP. IF you cannot afford one contact your local Legal Aid Society.
So I've been keeping up with my thigh gap workout to keep my thigh gap in shape ... so few weeks ago I started watching videos on youtube ..I've been trying thigh gap workouts inner thigh workouts like crazy.....so i started doing it for about 15 mins or so ..I did cardio workouts, about 50 squats which i do everyday to keep mu body in shape I do ..frog jump excerise and a lot more ..after I was done I tooked a shower and went to bed . Next morning I woke up, my left side back below my butt was hurting so much . I screamed while getting off the bed , my legs is wobbley when I walk ...both ...and my left butt side hurts so much when I sit .. do I got a problem with my muscles ..? Its common to have these symptoms right? Please tell me right. I cant lift up my leg at all. I try not doing excerice for the entire day but it hurts more ...what should I do? School is on monday and im freaking out that im not gonna be ok walking down and up on the 3rd floor
.!!! 1more day until school and im sore badly. !!!
As the saying goes around here we are not Doctors and can not make a diagnoses. With that said I feel safe in agreeing with Dragonflymagic in that it sounds like you over did for what sounds like a first workout. You need to ease into working out to give your muscles a chance to adjust and build up to the workout.
I suffer from Chronic back pain and when I am in pain I use both heat and ice. Since it has already been some time since you stressed your muscles ice should help. Apply the ice pack for 15 minutes then off for 15 minutes. If you have access to a Jacuzzi or hot tub this will help as well.
Do not work out until the pain subsides. If the pain does not subside in a day or two then you should contact a sports medicine doctor, who is an orthopedic doctor, and get checked out. It is possible you tore a muscle. If so this will take time to heal and you will need or should have physical therapy to help the healing.
When you do go back to working out ease into it. Fifty squats are a lot for a first time. Ten to 15 would be better the same for what ever else you are doing. Then take the next day off or exercise a different part of your body. You do Cardio one day and something else the next then cardio again the day after.
Should you still be in school contact one of the physical education teachers for a workout plan and schedule. It may be possible to have your workout after school supervised by the physical education department. IF so I would suggest you join and do your workout that way.
My boyfriend and i had dry humping without my underwear but touch vegina but didnt not go in and im also a virgin is it possible im not virgin anymore ?can iget pregrant it
Yes you are still a virgin. The definition of virgin is a person who has not had intercourse. Since your boyfriends penis did not penetrate your vagina there was no intercourse. Therefore you are still a virgin.
Now as to dry humping in the manner you did. If he did not ejaculate (cumed)them you cannot be pregnant. IF he did cum and none was near your vagina then you cannot be pregnant. If he did ejaculate and any was near our in between the lips of your vagina there is a very small chance of a pregnancy about less than 1% depending on how much was ejaculate in or on the lips of your vagina.
Other factors to consider is when you ovulate. IF this occurred during the 7th to 21st day of your cycle then this is during the period you are most fertile as this is the time you should normally ovulate.
The chances are greatest that you are not pregnant but is you stress out over the possibility that you may be pregnant I can guarantee you will miss your next period. Stress more than anything else will cause a woman to miss a period. TO ease your mind purchase a home test kit and follow the package directions. If your over 14 no one will question you.
In the future if your going to allow your boyfriend to do this make him wear a condom. Dry humping is playing with fire. The chances of getting pregnant from sperm ejaculate outside the vagina are slim to almost none though it has happened. The best way to avoid it is not to allow your boyfriend to cum or come anywhere near your vagina naked or clothed as sperm can get through your panties.
26 female
I have been recieving SSI and survivors benefits off my Dad since I was12 and my mom is my payee which means she is the one who helps me budget my money. She use to be really good abou giving me my money with no problems but now she is not wanting to give me hardly anything. She went from giving me $60.00 a week and then she decreased it to $20.00 a week and I have to buy everything I need with that ecept she bought me a carton of cigarettes and is only giving me 3packs3my a week. I live with my cousin and my cousin is basically buying everything I need out if her own money when I run out of things I need when I run out of money. I want to change my payee my problem is my mom would get mad if she finfs out and I dont know how to change my payee.
Can I make the decision to change my payee without
my momknowledge or permission with the diagnosis of mental retardation with the IQ of 69?
I have other issues with my mom that bother me like I never know when my phone bill is going to get paid. She tells everyone even complete strangers that i am mr. She also brings up things that I dont remember when she gets mad like the fact that I was molested by mad when I was 3. She always put me down . I have heard all my life that I will never be able to do this or She days that I can't do this because I have the mind of a child. She gas mentioned that she wants to jave me declared mentally encompentant and if she does that I will no rights if she sees to it. What should I do?
With an IQ of 69 I suspect that you may be receiving other benefits such as welfare benefits for housing, food and Medicaid for doctors’ visits. To receive these benefits you would have a case worker. These benefits are yours to be used to use to keep you safe, fed and pay your bills. They are not to be used by your mother for her benefit.
You write as if you have a good understanding of what is going on. A low IQ does not mean you are not smart enough to care for yourself in many ways. You might need assistance with certain things such as money management though that person does not have to be your mother.
What I suggest is you contact a lawyer and ask for the lawyers’ assistance in finding out just what you are receiving in the way of benefits other than SSI. If your mom is the payee on these benefits and cannot prove she is spending those funds on you then she will have to pay them back so they can be given to you. Since you do not live with her if you are receiving money for food and housing she would have to prove she is giving this money to your cousins who would have to report it on their taxes and take you as a dependent.
Taxes are a whole other problem. Living with your cousin and having them be responsible for more than half of you needs make you their dependent. IF they and mom are taking you as a dependent then mom is cheating on her taxes which are serious.
I suggest you contact legal aid and ask a lawyer for help. The lawyer will find out just what help you are receiving and where it is going. The lawyer can also help you with assigning a new payee for your SSI. There are alternatives to a relative being a payee. The lawyer can also help you find out what other services you are entitled to and help you apply for them.
From what and how you have written to us I think it is possible you could live in a supervised group home rather than with a relative. It is also possible for you to have a job with such organizations as Point of Lights, The Salvation Army or Goodwill.
If you’re capable of living in a group home and holding a job mom will not be able to have you declared mentally incompetent. You were able to find us on the web. Use a search engine and type in "Legal aid (put the name of your state here without the prentices). Then look for the 24 hour help line and contact them.
Hi everyone! I'm new here and have been struggling with my romantic and sexual orientations. My feelings seem to be very contradictory and so I was hoping for some outside perspectives.
I'm 22, female, and for a few years now have identified as biromantic bisexual, though I am not sure how accurate that is. I'm just gonna reel off relevant information to try and give you a thorough picture of my experience with romance/sexuality thus far (it's pretty long but I don't know how else to explain everything fully):
As a child I experienced infatuations with both boys and girls, which generally involved a desire to be with, to touch (non-sexually) and to kiss that person. However, these were often quite fleeting and not always based in any sort of depth/reality, more an idea of that person. The only infatuation which seemed more substantial was, at age ten, with my best female friend. We were close and I found myself wanting to be with her all the time, feeling butterflies at the thought of seeing her, wanting her and I to be a pair - more accurately, a couple, which I didn't realise at the time. My first best friend as a child was a boy whom I didn't feel any romantic attraction towards, but whom I had an incredible bond with, stronger than anything I have experienced since with any of my friends - I am not, and never have been, a touchy-feely person, but would hold hands with him and be very tactile with him. But it was definitely not at all romantic in nature. (I mention this because it could be relevant later on.)
As an early/mid teenager in high school, dating became a big social pressure, and I had lots of crushes on boys. It was also at this time that I became aware and accepted that I was sexually attracted to women, though this was something I compartmentalised and shut off from in my everyday life, I imagine because of the overwhelming heteronormativity and homophobia of high school. Again, almost all of my crushes on boys began with pinning an idea onto them and didn't have that much depth (though they were often not fleeting and could be very intense for months). I had some crushes on girls as well, always friends (whereas with boys they were usually people I knew of or at the most were acquainted with), but because I never realised at the time that that's what they were, I didn't latch on to the idea and focused instead on my male crushes.
Aged 14 - 16 I experienced more substantial and reciprocated feelings for four different guys, and in each of these cases there was sexual desire, a feeling of emotional connection, and the desire to be in a romantic relationship. Throughout these years I fantasised sexually about men and women equally, but still shut off from my sexual attraction to women in my daily life.
However, at 17, after around 6 months of nothing romantic or sexual, I became infatuated with an online female friend, and it was the first time I acknowledged the feelings for what they were. I felt deeply emotionally connected to her, overwhelmingly sexually attracted to her, and definitely wanted to be in a romantic relationship with her, and imagined us being together, kissing, touching etc. It was after a while of this that I began to question my sexuality, as up to this point I had identified as straight (though not exclusively). Nothing ever came of this as she didn't feel the same, but from then on it really was like I had had an epiphany, I began to properly acknowledge my feelings and attraction for women and as soon as I had done so, found that I just felt no desire for men any more. For the most part it wasn't that I hated the idea of being with men, it was just that the idea of being with men paled in comparison to the idea of being with women. At 18 I fell, again, for an online female friend (I was somewhat of a recluse for those two years and didn't socialise much in person) though this time the emphasis was more on the romantic and emotional feelings, and much less on the sexual.
Through the three years of 17 - 19, I felt very little romantic or sexual attraction to men, and was very preoccupied with my feelings and attraction for women, which was without a doubt both romantic and sexual, and very much wanted a girlfriend (which didn't happen). For about a year I even felt repulsed at the idea of being with men sexually.
After this, I unexpectedly grew romantically and sexually attracted to a male friend, who felt the same, and we ended up seeing one another. For the first 7 months of our relationship my sexual interest was strong, but I felt incredibly uncomfortable with many of the romantic aspects: people knowing we were seeing each other, meeting his parents, playing the 'girlfriend' role (I say playing because it felt like acting), holding hands in public, romantic rituals etc. After that 7 months my sexual desire for him began to wane, and then I began to feel very uncomfortable with kissing and anything sexual. I would try to make myself enjoy it and end up in tears, feeling sick and invaded. It is worth noting that a few months after this began I started taking anti-depressants, which lowered my sex drive further, and our relationship became very dysfunctional. I kept feeling throughout the relationship that I wanted to be in a relationship with a woman, sometimes I would feel entirely gay and almost feel closeted by the relationship (even though he knew and was supportive.) He was in love with me but as much as I loved him (and still do), I wasn't in love with him and knew that I never would be.
We broke up a year ago, and I was happy to be single - being single feels to me like my natural state, and I seem always to feel somewhat stifled simply by being in a relationship, no matter how healthy it is. I was also decided on not letting myself get into anything serious with a man again, though I still felt attractions to men and women. However, four months later (this January), I ended up seeing another, newer, male friend, and we are still together now. At the beginning I was sexually attracted to him, and we've always clicked emotionally, but I didn't feel any desire for a romantic relationship. The romantic side came about more because he wanted a romantic relationship, and as I had become attached to him and enjoyed being with him, I agreed to it, though (for me) we also agreed to be polyamorous.
We became very tactile and very emotionally close quickly, but I was still very uncomfortable with the romantic aspects. After a few months, my sexual desire began to wane, and now unfortunately it has reached the point, as in with my previous relationship, where I try to make myself enjoy sexual things and just end up in tears, feeling that something is very wrong. In my past relationship I thought it could've been attributed to the dysfunctional nature of it, but my current relationship is very supportive and healthy. I very rarely enjoy kissing him, or any man, but whenever I've kissed women (always at clubs or parties) it's felt like, 'Oh, so this is how kissing's supposed to feel.' I can tell that he feels very strongly for him romantically, and is maybe falling in love with me, but again, I love him and care for him deeply, but I am not in love with him, and can tell that I won't be. As we become closer I care for him more but don't feel any more romantically for him.
With both of these relationships they have been more like very strong, intense friendships, with more non-sexual touching than would usually be in my friendships, a deep emotional connection, and at the beginning a sexual desire that disappears over time. I feel more romantically for women and more attracted to women, when I think about being in a romantic and sexual relationship with a woman it feels right, I crave it, but it comes more naturally to me to flirt with men (which may be socialised) and I seem to form deep emotional bonds with men easier, even though I am less sexually attracted to them and tend to feel uncomfortable being romantic with them.
I can make my own conclusions from this but I would like some unbiased, outside perspectives as I think it would be very helpful. So, basically, what conclusions would you draw from all this about my romantic and sexual orientations?
Normally when asked to give advice on one's sexuality and given as much information as you have given; I might be willing to do so. You though seem to be well versed in your sexuality to the point of being slightly confused and at odds with yourself. Just my opinion but you seem to be fighting with your sexuality as if to say I need to be one or the other I can't be both and enjoy being me. As I said just my uneducated observation.
You should ask yourself; Why can't I enjoy being who I am and love as I wish to love? You might need help answering that question and I think you should get help of a professional as this question or the questioning of yourself is far too complicated. We do not possess the education in this arena to truly help you.
I am going to suggest you contact a psychologist, possibly one who practices sex counseling for help in delving into this. I believe with the right kind of help you can look at just who you are sexually and become more comfortable with your sexuality. Once your comfortable you can learn how to grow your sexuality and explain yourself, if need be to a love interest, to others and hopefully a future life partner. We can't do that for you as it requires a one on one conversation.
If you are working and your employer has an EAP program contact the EAP provider for assistance in finding a psychologist. It is all confidential and normally the EAP program pays for the first few sessions.
Recently I added a question but did not register im extremely bad about that. So ill retype my question and hopefully someone can help....so here it is...kinda embarrassing
Im slim thick I have a big breast and a huge butt boys seem to be way to attracted and its killing me they make dirty jokes about me, and touch me the way I dont wanna get touch ...I wrapped my self with a jacket on my waist like all over me. I have no idea what to do. I cannot talk to my parrents about it ...its embarrassing. Im 13 in 8 grade! I dont need this! Gosh im so shy to speak
up I just want to kill myself its like everywhere. I dont want to be a slut. Im really too smart forthat. What should I do to help myself. I really dont like my body for all of this problem. I never earn any respect. ( forget about the sentences underneath having problems with my phone)
Igo.I dont want to be a slug.
You may think your done with puberty but your not. You may have started early and you will finish early but not before you are somewhere between 16 & 18. Which is why most plastic surgeons will not do reductions or enhancements to anyone under 18.
First: Try not to be so hard on yourself. You are thirteen and your body is going to go through many more changes before you are finished with puberty.
Second: Yes you can and should talk to your parents about this. There is nothing sexual about being harassed in school by being touched in places no one should touch you or being touched at all. When anyone male or female tells someone not to touch them, especially in private places, and it continues it is sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is illegal, meaning unlawful and schools have strict policies against it. If you have reported this to a teacher or your principal and the boys have not been corrected or continue then you must bring your parents into the loop and have them discuss it and possibly bring the police in on this.
Yes this can and could be a police matter. The boys think its nothing to tease and touch you. Well I have a wake up call for them and the wake call comes with a badge, gun and some very fine jewelry in the form of handcuffs for them. Yes they can be arrested if you and your parents want to place charges against them.
Yes the boys can be arrested. The boys think their age can protect them. At one time not so long ago it did, not today. You have a right not to be sexually harassed in school or anywhere else. If you and your parents so choose you can send a message for every girl in school to the boys that this type of behavior is unacceptable and there are serious consequences for these behaviors.
Third: While the word slut may exist in the dictionary in its current form it is has derogatory meaning. In its original form back in 1200 BC it was actually a very positive form of word used in an affectionate manner. Over the centuries the word has become shortened to it current length and taken on a derogatory meaning. For this reason I do not accept the word as anything but slang which makes it meaningless in proper society. You are and never will be a slut even if you wish to recognize the current meaning. You have to much respect for yourself to be a slut.
If anyone calls you this have fun with them; smile and say thank you. Then just walk away. They will have no idea why you are thanking them and it will drive them crazy. Most importantly if it does not make you cry they will stop.
In about 3 or 4 years after your body has come close to taking its final shape if your breasts and but are still larger than you think you want. Then you can talk to a plastic surgeon about reduction. Until then unless your breasts are like size FF or FFF and causing you back problems no surgeon will do a reduction until you have finished with puberty.
Most importantly though is what is written in the second advice. Talk to your parents. This is what we are here fore. It is our job to protect you and to help you in these situations. As I said there is nothing sexual about what is happening to you at school. It is harassment and it is illegal. Let your parents help you.
(this will be kind of long, sorry) I'm 15/trans male and this past year i have found a place that makes me so happy, more so than any place that i've been to, where i really feel at home and everyone there feels like family, and that's my acting class. My mom however, is telling me this year that she refuses to sign me back up, for the reason that i "wasn't involved in school last year." (meaning that i didn't audition for the school musical due to nerves and the only club i was interested in didn't have enough people to actually start meeting that year, so therefore i wasn't in any clubs, and don't enjoy going to the football games [gsa]) It's such an important thing for me to be able to continue going to this class, think of it like how Harry Potter feels when he's at hogwarts compared to how he feels when he's with the Dursley's for the summer. (you might think that that's an exaggeration but it's actually a near identical situation) It's even more important that i'm there this year bc this will be my first year being out as transgender to my school, which is going to make this year a challenge, and at home i'm "accepted" but my gender identity is ignored, but at the acting class everybody fully accepts me and always treats me as if i was a cisgender boy, and that safe place where i'm accepted, validated and never judged is so important for me and my mental health, and my growth as an actor. (cisgender means you identify as the gender you were assigned at birth) I've tried every compromise possible, i have a carpool both ways worked out, i had decent grades last year which are guaranteed to improve this year bc i'm starting new (better) medication for my learning disability, and i even offered to start working for my dad to help pay for the cost. I've been reasonable and logical but she won't budge or even try to compromise. How can i convince her to let me stay? Please, any advice helps, thank you to anyone who replies!! (PS: do not comment on my being transgender as that is not the topic of this question.)
You might try asking the instructor for this class to call you mother and ask her to change her mind and allow you to attend this class. IF the instructor supported by the guidance counselor were to advocate for you I believe mom would change her mind. It did with my parents when I was in High School and for me when my son wanted to join a group I didn't think he should.
We're both reasonably young, in our teens and we're both guys. It doesn't really bother me, but thinking psychologically, people'd definitely react more violently for the reason that we're both guys, and not because we do blowjobs. Personally, I dont like him and he doesn't like me back, romantically that is. We just do it for fun since we've nothing better to do (I expect advice not judgement :P). Also, just for further details, we don't have any kind of disease and we never do it with one having a cold sore.
I have a stock saying when it comes to questions concerning sex. "What happens in the privacy of ones bedroom stays in the bedroom." Meaning it is no ones business but those in the bedroom. As long as both parties consent to the sex what ever is being done is fine. Contrary to former President Clintons thinking a blow job is sex.
Given your age I would not suggest you put any labels on yourselves such as bisexual or gay. You are neither based on what you have written. For teenagers your age it is normal to experiment or even practice same having sex with the same sex. Doing so means no one gets pregnant, sexual tension is relieved and you get to practice for when the time is right to have sex with the opposite sex.
You are right though if it were known that you two are doing this it could be cause for great harm to you. Even buy others doing the same thing. So keep this to yourselves and make sure you have plenty of privacy when you do relieve each others sexual tensions.
So I lost my virginity at a young age. I will be 15 soon and I lost my virginity to another 14 year old about 6 months ago. I'm not ashamed of this at all, he was my boyfriend, we'd talked about it before and I felt ready. However, as much as I'm okay with what I did, he was kind of an idiot and it ended quickly and that was it. I was upset about it, and his best friend who was angry at his friend partly for the reason he treated me, comforted me about it. We then ended up getting close and we did most things but sex. He was really lovely and I liked him a lot, and we weren't actually in a relationship but we were more than just sexual stuff. But he ended up wanting to get back with his ex girlfriend. That wasn't his fault and it just ended and that was it. I still didn't feel like a slut but I still kept it from my friends, worrying they wouldn't want to know me if they found out, they didn't know I was like that. I'm quite a high achiever and I dance and sing and have plans with my life and no-one expected me to do anything like that. But after my exes best friend ended things I just went off the rails. What happened wasn't his fault or hers or mine but I couldn't help feeling so rejected and unloved and I just seemed to lose all respect for myself. Since then I've sent naked pictures to multiple guys who just asked. Not people that I love, which 5 months ago would have been totally against everything I stood for. I've also relapsed with a past history of eating disorders and I just don't seem to be able to look after myself anymore. I have tried to take steps in improving though, I've opened up to my friends about what's happened, but even since telling them I've sent pictures to a past crush again and upset them. This boy was even someone that my best friend was 'talking too' although I wasn't aware fully of what was going on between them, I still shouldn't have done it. I'm just struggling to feel loved and wanted and I'm not sure how to stop messing up like this, because although my friends say they'll stick by me whatever, they're angry, and worried, and well I want to be strong for them and stop doing these things... Help?
First off your not a slut. I personally dislike the word for in its original form , dating back to the 12 Century B.C.,it was a very flattering word not the derogatory meaning it has today.
As to your problem please understand we are not doctors we can only offer advice. From what I am reading I would feel that much of what you have written your parents are not aware of specifically your feeling of being unloved.
Lets start then with your parents. You need to let them in on most of what you have written. You do not have to tell them about your loosing your virginity. You do and should tell them about feeling unloved and the return of your eating disorder as the two are linked and it is important for them to know this so they can help you.
How you are feeling is not all that unusual for a teenager and specifically a female. The teenage years come with a huge amount of Tension, stress and yes drama. Much of this is because of puberty and the changes brought on by the news hormones released by puberty. Females suffer more than males because of all the changes their bodies go through. The tension, the stress cause what doctors now call "Teenage Depression." Some of what you have written are classic symptoms of Teenage Depression. It is the hormones and nothing you did or didn't do caused this. The good part is doctors can help you. This is why you need to tell you parents.
Most likely in simple terms what is wrong is a medical problem. A hormone imbalance caused by puberty. There is medication a doctor can give you to balance the hormones and equalize the stress which will help you with the depression caused by the hormonal imbalance.
Because of the stress that teenagers suffer, with what is now expected of them, the new social order in their lives. No longer being a child yet not being an adult it might help to talk to a psychologist. A psychologist is someone you can talk to about every thing you have written here in total confidentiality. Meaning it never gets back to your parents. You can tell the therapist you deepest darkest secrets and everything you need to talk about and get answers to that you won't talk to your parents about.
Ask you mom to make an appointment with your doctor. As the doctor first if he or she will ask mom to wait in the waiting room. Then ask your doctor to test you for teenage depression. Its painless and is a matter of the doctor asking you a bunch of questions. Then ask the doctor if he or she will suggest to mom that you see a psychologist.
Most importantly if you believe nothing else of what I have written believe this: YOU ARE NOT A SLUT.
25/f
My boyfriend and I had sex last night. I used Lomexin medicine the night before and it ended up as a white creamy layer on top of condom. I panicked because I read that it could damage condoms. My boyfriend blew into it to check for breakage and leakage. There was a little cum in it but nothing came out. He kept the condom and later filled it with water when he got home,he just texted me saying that it isn't letting anything out. I really don't want to take the morning after pill because my hormones are severely out of balance. So,since there is no apparent damage to the condom,should I worry about pregnancy?
Since the condom was checked by your boyfriend and did not leak you probably have nothing to worry about. To be sure though you should consider taking the morning after pill within the next 24 hours. The white creamy substance was probably your own secretions coagulating on the condom possibly due to the medication.
The warning on condoms is for latex condoms only. I suggest if you are going to continue having sexual relations while on this medication you have your boyfriend purchase the more expensive Lambskin condoms. They are not affected by the medication, at least not specifically called out in the warning.
One thing about the Lambskin over the latex other than the cost is that you and your boyfriend might find them more enjoyable. Lambskin condoms have a more natural feel for both you and him. Have him check with the pharmacist to make sure the Lambskin does not interact with your medication. If not use them and as I said you may want to switch to them permanently. IF so you can shop them online for better pricing then at your local store.
So my question is can black girl get any disease in Portugal and if can whick and can she convey them to other people?
This is a very strange question. Anyone regardless of the color of their skin can get a disease, STD or non STD, anywhere in the world. While certain diseases are linked to people of color it does not mean a person not of color can't be infected with those diseases.
If you can be a little more specific of what disease your speaking of then we might be able to give you a more specific answer.
I'm 16 years old, I had asked a question a few weeks ago because I was wondering if I could of been pregnant. I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I know sometimes the tests could be false, but I'm nauseous in the mornings, hungry all the time, and no sign of my period at all so I think the test is accurate. I don't know how to tell my parents, they're so strict..
There are any number of ways you can think to use to tell your parents and I will list them for you. First I think the best thing to do is to schedule a doctor’s appointment and have a doctor confirm you are pregnant. Home test is a fast but not perfect test. Being 16 under a federal law called HIPPA you can see a doctor without parental permission or knowledge. You may go to any doctor of your choice or women's clinic.
It is understandable you are going to be afraid to tell your parents. One thing you have to know up front is under the same HIPPA law you not your parents have total control over this pregnancy. This means they cannot force you to have an abortion or not have one. They cannot force you to keep the baby or give the baby up for adoption. They can try going to court but they would be wasting their money as this is a federal law and unless they can prove you to be mentally unfit no court will rule in their favor. Getting pregnant does not make you mentally unfit.
Now how do you tell your parents:
1. You could ask mom to accompany you to the doctor’s office and have the doctor tell her. This will give mom a bit of time to digest the news and hopefully help her remain calm. I can't say the same will be true for when you tell your father.
2. You say your parents are strict. If they are also religious you could go to the pastor of your church and ask the pastor to help you inform your parents. With the pastor being present things will remain calmer and the pastor can help them digest not only the fact that you are pregnant but the fact that the HIPPA law applies and how it applies. The doctor will do the same when informing your mother.
3. If there is a favorite Aunt or Uncle you can go to with this news that may be able to help you break this news to your parents. Then you may want to go this route.
4. If you decide to tell them directly. The best way is to set them down and tell them straight out. "Mom dad I'm pregnant." Say nothing more, let the shock hit them and wait for whatever tidal wave is going to come. Try to keep yourself calm and not to cry or scream at them. Because you are going to have to explain the HIPPA law to them for I'm sure dad will have a lot to say as to what he wants you to do about this.
Yes in this day and age it is a bit foolish for anyone to get pregnant when they don't want to. Frankly given your age I blame the boy more then you. He should know better and have worn a condom. But I'm more liberal then your parents and I would have had a different conversation with you when you came of age.
This is now ancient history. What is done is done and you, not your parents have to decide what the future is for you. If you believe in abortion and that is your decision regardless of your parents views there is nothing they can do about it. If this is your choice don't wait to long for the first trimester can pass quickly. So have you plan ready when you tell your parents.
I want to die.please help me.my husband praises my sisterinlaw I just can't bare.I can die instead. I explained this to him.but he did not change.I'm working and have 2kids.so I'm always busy.and tht lady has no kids and stays at home.he praises for everything. I want to kill myself
Your husband is being an ass and you can tell him I said so. You have given him 2 wonderful children. You work to support him and your family plus you keep the house. He wants all that and still expects you to be like his sister. I have two words for him and they are not happy birthday. He is not worth dying for.
As a retired firefighter please think of what this will mean for your children. First we arrive when someone calls 911. When the EMTS and Paramedics work to revive you the children will go to the nearest firefighter and grab their hand they will look up at us and say, "Please don't let mommy die." We look to the paramedic who shakes their head and we take the children to another room while they inform your husband or police officer. Is this what you want for them? Is this how you want them to remember you?
Your children will now be left with this asshole who thinks his sister walks on water. He does not deserve you or your children. There are better ways to handle this situation and there is help for you to get out of this situation. While your husband may not be physically beating you he is mentally abusing you. You are in all respects a battered woman.
Please do as I am asking and place a call to the National suicide Prevention Lifeline. No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
You are working your employer may have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). If they do; contact them for assistance with counseling and help battered women. You do not have to kill yourself to get away from him. There is help for you in getting away from him with your children to a safe and secure place where he cannot find you while you seek the protective orders and divorce decree, if you so choose, to make leaving him permanent. All calls to the lifeline and the EAP program are totally confidential.
This is the better way to solve your problem. This is better for you and better for your children. You let the courts and the lawyers handle the business of support while you take care of the children. Your husband cannot get out of paying child support the courts will see to that. As a battered spouse all the help you need is there for the asking all you need to do is pick up the phone and make the call. Suicide is not the answer it is the wrong solution.
I would like to know what all of information can show up when you get by getting a cell phones history report from Verizon. Like if I wanted to know who my daughter is texting would that show that ? Would it show up if she uses the wifi at certain times ? I would like to know as soon as possible thank you
I would suggest you call Verizon customer service. If you are the owner of the phone and paying the bill they will be happy to tell you what is normally supplied in the monthly bill. As a Verizon customer in my bill besides all the garbage about the plan I'm on and it's cost. They supply a list of calls made with time of day and duration. They also supply the amount of Data used during the month. Both Data and calls can be made on or off Wi-Fi and on or off your home Wi-Fi.
Our children are far more adept at using these smart phones then we are. I am not aware of just what information Verizon can supply you and at what additional cost. The best thing to do is if you own the phone you go to the horse's mouth and ask them.
While your speaking to them you might also ask them how you can block certain usages or is they can block usage than you don't want your daughter to have available to her. Just remember you daughter is most likely far more tech savvy than you or has friends that are and they will figure out how to defeat any blockage Verizon might tell you about.
Hey, there. I'm a 15 year old freshman in high school and I'm looking for a bit of advice. These days, college is pushed into us so early. They had me picking potential colleges and calculating the cost of rooming and food and tuition along with how to do my finances and pay off student loans when I was in 8th grade (13). They had us pick potential jobs and also gave us the average annual incomes for those jobs. As you can imagine, that all stressed me out a lot seeing as I was still in middle school. College was, and still is, a foreign concept to me. Anyway, my stress about it has gotten worse since last week I was talking to my aunt about potential careers. I told her that Id really like to go to art school and be an illustrator or learn to do the animations for cartoons but that I'm also sort of interested in pharmaceuticals so I might just settle for being a pharmacist for more money. She said definitely go with pharmacist. I'm worried about hating myself for not going to art school just so I can have more money because I know that I'll be better off in a pharmacy. And yes, yes I've heard that I can do my art "on the side" or in "my free time" but God I want to go to art school but no one will support me because they think it's not a good job and then I'll be a broke 25 year old with an art degree.
We do seem to rush our children these days through childhood or maybe I should say rob them of their childhood. Eight grade is way too soon to be thinking of college or a career. At that age many kids are still looking at being cops, firefighters and nurses; nothing wrong with any of these jobs.
My son is a Paramedic/Firefighter and makes great living; well above the median income for the state we live in. His girlfriend is a cop and my adopted daughter is a nurse. They all make good incomes. The fact is they all chose these careers while in college not in high school and definitely not in middle school with the exception of my son. He always wanted to be like me except he went one better and became a paramedic as well.
I will give you the advice I gave him and others. You can have all the money in the world and be miserable working at a job you dislike. If you have a job you love then you never work a day in your life but you have an income you can enjoy in whatever amount it is.
Now there is a solution to your problem. You can go to college and major in Pharmacy with a minor in art. It will be more work for you and a bit more expensive. There is another saying that fits what I am saying. "Nothing good comes without hard work."
"If you are willing to put the time and effort into a double program then as the saying goes, "you can have your cake and eat it to." By working and graduating with a double program you can put off making a final decision as to which career path you wish to follow.
Either career offers the opportunity to be a back up to the other or to offer part-time work. Pharmacies are always looking for part-time pharmacists to work nights and or weekends. Artists can always find freelance work as illustrators and other freelance work.
If you plan correctly you can have the world by the short hairs. Planning is what you should start now or in the next year looking for schools that offer you the ability to take both classes. They may not be the Ivy League schools or the big name schools. It does not matter if they are a smaller school. Actually it is better if they are a smaller school as they tend to be less expensive and have smaller class sizes. What matters is when you finish you have that diploma(s).
Hello everyone, I am a 19 year old female and starting 8/15/15 I started having pains in both my nipples. My menstral cycle isn't for another week and a half about, a little less, but my nipples have never hurt before my cycle before. Does anyone know why both of my nipples would hurt?
We are not doctors so we cannot give medical advise. Being male I really can't say as to why. What I can tell you is that my wife's nipples get super sensitive to the point she can barely wear her bra just before her period. For her this is normal since it has been going on since puberty.
What you are talking about is something new. Granted it is possible at your age you could still be suffering the last pangs of puberty. These pains could be part of the latest hormone release.
My advice is to talk to your mother. Nipple pain can have other causes unrelated to your cycle or pregnancy, though pregnancy cannot be ruled out either. Fact is you are wearing your mother's genes and it is possible she went through this at your age. If so she may be able to tell you what is going on.
The other alternative is to make an appointment with you GYN. You are an adult now and your parents can no longer see your medical records even though you may still be on their medical insurance. I could be paying you medical bills and it would not give me the right to see you medical records without your written consent to the doctor.
Since this is a new event I urge you to either talk to mom or see a doctor about it. The odds are this is nothing to be concerned about. Though why worry which will cause stress, which in most cases will cause a missed period. WHICH IN MOST CASES WILL CAUSE A MISSED PERIOD. Stress cause many missed periods in Women your age. So get an answer so you can stop worrying and stressing over something that may not be anything.