about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

Tomorrow I am going to a late audition for Cinderella. It's a musical. I have no fear of being onstage at all. The only thing that is scaring me is that I'm sick. My throat has crap all down that back of it so I have to constantly clear my throat. It was generous of Mrs.Jane to let me have a second chance to audition but my voice is far from it's best. I have been told that I can sing well, but I'm worried I will sound really bad tomorrow. Does anybody know of any way/remedy for my throat/voice? I know it's kind of stupid to ask, but I really want a part. Should I just tell Mrs.Jane that I'm sick or what? Any help or suggestions would be appreciated!

Try drinking a cup of hot water with honey in it. It will soothe your throat. Tell Mrs. Jane before you audition that your voice is still up to par and ask her if she will take that into consideration. Hope this helps. Good luck.

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I'm 17 and i started going out with this boy who was 15 and i was 16 at the time. we went out for a month then i dumped him bc i didnt think i liked him anymore. We remained friends and started to become friends with benefits. Now i really regret breaking up with him i think about him alot. He started liking this other girl an we stopped talking. now over the summer we have drivers ed together and he kind of flirts with me and his gf is leaving for college this year. i dont know what i should do or what i should think...im really confused right now. any help would be great!! thanks.

It seems to me like he's covering all the bases. Since his girlfriend's leaving for college this year, he doesn't want to be alone or miss out on sex. If he's still dating the other girl and sleeping with you, he's cheating. What makes you think he won't be the same way with you? I would wait to see if he breaks it off with his girlfriend before deciding what to do. A friends with benefits relationship does work in some cases, but a lot of times it's just a way of getting no-strings sex. Follow your heart but think hard before renewing your relationship with this guy.

Good luck.

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I have another question, earlier i asked one about breaking up with my boyfriend and still likeing him and we became friends with benefits. well we were both were virgins and lost are virginities together. It was my first time so it didnt really feel to good. after he asked me if i felt good an i told him no. we did it a couple more times after that time and it still didnt really feel the best. i guess it got him angry bc he told my sister and his friends that i hate sex. is it normal to feel like that after your first time? is something wrong, what should i do?

Ok first off, do not let anyone make you feel like something's wrong with you because they didn't get the reaction or answer they wanted.

The first time usually isn't that pleasurable for women, although there are some exceptions. This is usually due to the guy getting carried away and not taking the time to make sure you reach pleasure. It was a year after my first time before I ever got any pleasure from sex, and that was more my doing than his.

If you know what turns you on, don't be afraid to tell the guy. Guys are just as insecure about sex as girls are and very few mind if you give them some pointers. Make sure to do this tactfully so he doesn't take it as an attack on his manhood. A moan when he hits the right spot or telling him how good it feels when he finds it will let him know without sacrificing his ego.

With that said, if I were you I would dump him. For one, no one that truly loves you would tell everyone that you were lousy in bed. Sex is a highly personal act, not to be shared with your circle of friends for their amusement. Second, a truly loving guy would take the time to learn what gives you pleasure and go from there, not get mad about it.

Don't give up on sex. When you find the right guy, you will have the fireworks and passion you were expecting.

Last but not least, if you decide to continue having sex, please make sure to protect yourself. Your local health department or planned parenthood office can give you information and contraceptives at little or no cost if you don't feel you can talk to your parents. They also keep your visit confidential.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

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can u get an STD if u have sex using a condom?

STDs are transmitted by direct contact. While using a condom does protect you some, it does not cover your entire body. To protect yourself from STDs you can make sure to not have any open sores (Even a cut on the inside of your mouth is considered an open sore), have yourself and your partner tested regularly for STDs, talk to your sexual partners about their sexual past and any STDs they might have had (It's hard to be tactful when asking this but it may save your life.), make sure to check yourself and your partner for any open sores and avoid those areas, or simply quit having sex.

Talk to your parents or your doctor or go to your local health department or planned parenthood office to learn more about the risks associated with sexual activity.

More information on STDs including how to protect yourself and symptoms can be found at
http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdinfo.htm

Hope this helps.

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Ok...I have had this feeling that I am missing something. And I know what it is. God. I want him in my life. I Just dont know how to do it. I have to admit that the thought of someone loving you unconditionally is a little scary. I know that this is what I want and need in my life, but I'm so scared to ask to be saved. Can anyone help me?

You can pray and ask God to come into your heart and your life. This is something you can do alone or in church. Get a devotional Bible to help you understand the Bible. Most devotional Bibles for teens not only discuss the Bible, but also issues teens face. It's written in a clear, easy-to-understand format and usually gives references to other readings that will make the issue clearer. Hope this helps.

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can my girlfriend and I rent a hotel room overnight and we're only 16? like do they check your age and parent permission and stuff or can you just rent a room and they dont care? thanks

Most hotels require ID and won't rent a room unless you're 18, sometimes even 21. They also ask for a home phone and address, sometimes even asking for your license plate number. If you're really determined, you could probably find a no-tell motel somewhere near you where they don't ask questions as long as you have money. You could also ask an older friend to rent the room in their name if you give them the money.

Be careful about going to a hotel since many hotels send follow-up surveys asking you how you rate your stay and if you have any suggestions. It would be highly embarassing to find a motel only to have your parents find out when that comes in the mail.

Last but not least, protect yourself and your girlfriend by using contraceptives. At your age, you gave enough going on without having to worry about how to support your child. Go to your local health department or planned parenthood office to get information and contraceptives at little or no cost. They will not tell your parents. Most stores sell condoms if you're feeling a little braver.

Hope this helps.

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OKay! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND, but sometimes it feels like we aren't as good as we used to be. I dont' know, I mean I dont' want anything to happen to us. It's just, he's been away a lot and stuff and I mean, it feels weird, because it's not like I miss him even that much anymore. I dont' know! It is just different and I really don't like it. Please help me out. How do I relit our flame? And is this normal? I'll rate HIGH and leave FEEDBACK

It's completely normal for a couple to hit a point where you're different from the way you used to be. This is partially because you're now comfortable with each other and probably not putting as much effort into the relationship.

Pick one day a week (or every 2 weeks or every month-whatever you decide) and set it aside as your couple day. Snuggle on the couch while you watch a movie. Pack a romantic picnic. Try an activity you've both wanted to try (sky-diving, skiing, hiking, roller-blading, etc). Go for a ride on a deserted road and make out. Take a blanket outside and lay down and watch the stars. Recreate your first date.

You can also do little things at other times. If you can, go to work with him. Help him work on his car. Even if you don't know which tool is what, he can always describe it so you can find it. Slip a little note in his car telling a reason why you love him. Give him a hug or kiss for no reason. Light some candles with your dinner. Even fast food can be romantic when placed on real plates at the table with candles glowing.

My husband and I set aside Sunday as our day since it's the only day he doesn't work. Both our friends and family know not to call or come by on this day unless it's an emergency. We go hiking to see waterfalls, take a bubble bath together, put on music and dance in the living room, pick a road just to see where it goes, go to yard sales, and other things too. I give him a kiss every time he comes home and every time he leaves and always make sure to tell him often how much I love him.

The key to a strong relationship is trying new things together and always letting your significant other know how much you love them.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

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and what should i do to become more skinny and popular?what foods do i need to eat to be more lean? ill rate high if you list as many as you can! thanks in advance
< Mikayla >

An easy diet meal plan is to eat prepackaged diet meals-lean cuisine, weight watchers, and healthy choice to name a few. These meals are set up to provide maximum nutrients with low calories and fat.

Negative calorie foods are a dieters best friend. These foods burn more calories digesting than they have in them to begin with. You can eat as much as you want without worrying about added calories. These include asparagus, apples, beets, berries, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, celery, chili, cucumber, garlic, lettuce, grapefruits, lemons, mangos, onions, oranges, papayas, pineapples, spinach, turnips and zucchini. Be sure not to prepare these in a way that will add calories. Steam the veggies or eat raw. An extra bonus for fruits, celery, and cucumber is that they are water-rich foods that help flush your system. Chili has the bonus of boosting your metabolism.

A good quality multi-vitamin will also help you lose weight as it provides essential vitamins and minerals that your body needs to function.

Drinking lots of water, 8-10 glasses a day, will help you lose weight since it flushes your body. If you don't like water, you can drink lemonade (homemade using sugar substitute), juice, or herbal teas.

If fast food is your diet pit-fall, try switching menu items to reduce calories. Instead of a fried chicken pattie or nuggets, try a grilled chicken and load it with veggies; instead of ice cream cone, try a fruit salad; instead of a burger, try a salad with low-fat dressing.

Switch to low-fat items when possible. Many popular items at the store are made in a lower fat formula. Try skim milk.

Hope this helps.



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All my friends are so much prettier and skinnier than me, and it lowers my self esteem. They are always the ones that get all the guys attention, and I hardly get any. I know it shouldnt matter at all, but it still bothers me. My friends dont treat me badly or anything, but im always worried that they are secretly thinking lower of me. Any suggestions on how to quit becoming so jealous and to stop thinking Im not good enough for my friends?

Ok first off what one person considers pretty another may not. I think I can stand to lose a few pounds but my husband says he loves a woman with some curves. Who can figure out men? lol

Make a list of what's good about you-you're a good friend, you're always laughing, you're dependable, you give great advice, etc. If someone compliments you on something (your great sense of style for example) add it to your list. When you start getting jealous, pull out your list and remind yourself how good YOU are.

Do something that makes you feel beautiful. Try a new hairstyle or makeup, get a massage, get your nails done, buy an outfit that makes makes you look great, etc.

Last but not least, your friends love you for who you are and would never look down at you.

Hope this helps.

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Alright, I'm in love. Starstruck. Head over heels. And not just the lust, or the initial fireworks, and infatuation. This is the real deal, and I know it because I no longer think forst of my own needs. I think first of his, and what he's thinking or feeling, and his perspective on life. There's always been something about him, even before he knew how I felt, that's made me feel secure, and I knew that even if he could never love me back, I wanted to be good friends with him throughout college and the rest of my life. (I'm going into my senior year of high school.) Now, we might be going to colleges far from eachother, and I know that it's a lot of work trying to keep a long-distance relationship working. It's certainly something I'm willing to do, but it's so incredibly hard even when I don't see him for a week, how will I handle maybe a month, even two at a time? I'm very afraid of losing the incredible closeness and trust that we have right now, even though it doesn't seem to be something that should be a concern. Having him by my side in life, and with whatever I do, because we have very similar interests, is something so special to me, and especially in college, having him there to help with classes and to study together and laugh about geeky questions (I guess we're very nerdy ;) ) is something that would really help, that I almost feel I can't do without. I don't really know what to do. (Okay, this site says I'm supposed to include my age and gender. I'm sixteen, and, as you probably gathered, female.)

First off, congrats on finding that special someone. Not many women find their Mr. Right at 16. Thinking of him first is a good thing, but don't go overboard with it. Remember you're special too.

Long distance relationships can work if both parts of the couple both try. Talking daily either on the phone or online will help make the distance seem smaller. Many instant messenger programs are set up to allow webcams so that way you can see him while you're talking to him. Keeping a picture close will help too.

You can mail letters and cards also. I know when I was in college, it made my day to get something in the mail from my boyfriend, even if it was only a one line note that said he loved me. We were four hours apart but it felt like he was on the other side of the globe sometimes.

Frequent visits will make the distance seem smaller. If it's not too far, find a half-way point you can meet on weekends or take turns driving to see each other. Spending holidays together is a given.

Remember whenever you get lonely for him that even though he's not right beside you, you carry his love in your heart.

Once again, congrats on your new love and good luck.

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ok i wanna get my hair cut but i really dont have any ideas my hair is shoulder length and its kind of thin for good ideas and places to get my hair cut i will rate high
(btw im not cutting like all my hair off like a oh and if it helps im 13 f going to the 8th grade guys short cut so thats a no no)

Try layering your hair. It will make it look thicker and give it some bounce and body without sacrificing the length. Buy a couple hair style magazines and look through them until you find a couple styles you like, then discuss them with your hairstylist before you get the cut. Your stylist can often recommend cuts that will flatter you while staying with the length you like.

Hope this helps.

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having sex has always been a dream of mine!lol. i just want to know that when the skin breaks does it hurt? or does it sting and please give me advice on how to have oral sex please.
ill rate high and complemint if you dont make fun of me!

It varies from woman to woman and a lot depends on the guy. If the guy is gentle and you're ready, chances are it won't hurt much, if at all. If he's rushing things or you're not turned on enough, it will probably be painful. Some women have pain and/or bleeding while others don't. The best thing to do when you decide to have sex is to first talk about it. Let the guy know it's your first time and you want to take it slow.

Oral sex is a matter of preference. You should decide what you like to do and go from there. Some women prefer to only use their mouth while some prefer to use their hands too. Talking it over with the guy you're planning on having sex with is also a good idea since he can give you an idea of what he likes.

Last but not least, if you are planning on having sex, please protect yourself against pregnancy and STDs. If you can't talk to your parents, go to your local health department or planned parenthood office. They can answer questions you may have and help you to get contraceptives at little or no cost, without notifying your parents.

Hope this helps.

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I just got hired to work in a store, and I am really excited about this! However, at the orientation we watched these movies & one was about people who steal clothes professionaly. While I was wathcing it, I was like okay, whteer it's not going to happen to me while I am there. But then the managers started talking about how they use to work at the same store in a different town & they have had people like that before, and that those people are starting to catch on that a new store is open! They said they have even seen a few of them walk in before. I know the movie told us what we should do...go up to the person you suspect, ask if they need help, and then don't take your eyes of the front. But then there are these people who come in to distract you, so it said to make sure you get someone else to keep and eye. It also gave these code things you can use. HOWEVER I am so scared this will happen in front of me, and I will either a) not be able to stop it & get in trouble b) accuse someone wrongfully or c) freak out and not know what to do!!!! Has anything like this ever happened to anyone, and if so what did you do? Or if not, any advice on how to act?

If you suspect someone, take a minute to figure out why. Are they checking to see if people are watching them? Do they go in the dressing room with 3 outfits and come out with 2? Did their purse or backpack suddenly get much fuller? Did their clothes suddenly get bulkier?

Most people like this will stop what they're doing if they realize you're watching them. Asking them if they need some help is a tactful way to check. That way if they're not doing anything wrong, they just think you're being helpful, but if they are stealing, it lets them know someone is watching.

When in doubt, ask another co-worker. If they see the same things you are, chances are you've got someone trying to steal and can take the appropriate measures to stop them such as telling the manager or alerting security.

Hope this helps. Good luck in your new job.

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13/f


hey i just really want a guy. im attractive and pretty popular but i cant get a guy! im in 7th grade.. ive asked out a couple of guys in 8th and they automatically say no because i think they think its a joke. one time i gave a guy a note saying it wasnt a joke and he never wrote back.. i guess he wasnt interested but idk what to do! idk how to apporach a guy that i dont know, and want to go out. i've had boyfriends before and all but its been real hard lately. could you help me please? i rate 5 on anything that answers. ~thanks~

First off, figure out exactly why you want a guy so bad. Is it to be like your friends? Or because you're lonely? Or are you truly interested in the guy and want to spend time with him?

Guys, just like girls, want someone who wants to be with them because they like them, not because they want to be like everyone else or think they're hot. With that said, find a guy you share a common interest with. Sports, books, even an obsession with the same tv show are all good places to start. This also helps avoid those little moments where you stare at each other waiting for the other to say something.
When you find the right guy, take things slow and really get to know him.

Hope this helps. Good luck in your guy search.

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when i was getting a shirt from my fathers dresser i saw two porno movies (bought) i was really freaked out. hes like 50 (and divorced) i dont know how to confront him or if i even want to! help

It's completely natural for adults to watch porn. Talk to your dad and tell him that you found the videos by accident and that they make you uncomfortable. Believe me, he'll be just as embarassed as you and will most likely move them somewhere you won't be as likely to find accidentally.
Hope this helps.

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my mom and my step dad have porn tapes. it makes me feel weird and mad at them and i havent confronted them its too hard what should i do to get it off my mind or atleast talk to them or somthing!

It's completely natural for adults to be interested in porn. If it bothers you a lot, ask your mom to keep the tapes where you won't see them and only bring them out when you're not around. Tell her calmly how you feel without accusing or getting angry.

Hope this helps.

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So, today, at the camp I work at, I handed out business cards to some moms and one called me to babysit for a 9 yer old girl, 7 year old girl, and 6 year old boy. I have accepted the job at 8 dollars per hour for 4 hours. How can I keep the kids busy. I don't want to color or watch TV, and since the boy is there, I don't know what to do...

First off, ask the parents what the children like to do for fun. This will give you a general idea of where to start. Also, make sure to ask if they have any allergies or things the parents consider no-nos.

Try going to the park, the zoo, or a local museum. Kids love seeing new stuff and if you take them to the museum, you're providing an educational experience without them even knowing.

Doing a craft activity is also a good idea. Kids love stuff they make themselves and often treasure them for a long time. Grab a box of colored macaroni and a roll of string and let them make necklaces. Or get some cheap white t-shirts and bring some fabric paint for them to design their own t-shirts. Make sure to cover the area with newspapers so the paint doesn't get everywhere.

Reading to them or having them read to you is also good if they're interested in stories. Or even make your own story chain. Grab a piece of paper and start out the story with once upon a time and let the kids take turns adding to the story while you write it down.

Games like hangman, musical chairs, Red light-green light, mother may I, go fish, crazy 8s, and slap jack are also options. If you don't know what these are, just mail me back and I'll be glad to explain.

A supervised scavenger hunt is fine and appropriate for all ages. Go for a walk and have things on the list like a blue car, a yellow sign, a crack in the sidewalk, etc. Make sure everyone gets a prize. You can pick up inexpensive prize items at the dollar store. Categories such as quickest find, best in age group, and most effort given makes each child feel special.

If you will be feeding the children as part of your babysitting, make it a picnic. If it's raining outside, make it an indoor picnic. Lay a blanket down on the floor and serve up the food.

Another good idea is to have a talent show so each of the kids can show off their individual talent. Once again, give prizes to each of them.

Bring some dice. Have the kids do certain things in the amount shown on the dice. Examples: Hop 2 times on one foot. Dance for 4 minutes.

Let them make picture frame magnets. You can buy inexpensive picture mats and magnets at a craft store. Let the kids decorate the frames in their own style. Glue or stick magnets on the back and they have their own picture frames to stick on the fridge.

Hope this helps. Good luck in your babysitting.

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Ok my mom and dad are split and I see my dad every other weekend. I have a computer in my room at my father's place and from what I know no one but me uses it well I went looking in the address bar and found a porn site listed and I did not go on to one and I'm afraid if my father goes on my computer he will find it and think it was me! What do I do! please help!

Since the computer is at your dad's house, it is entirely possible that he was the one to visit the site. I know you probably say "ewww yuck" but some people find it stimulating. If you feel comfortable talking to him about it, tell him that you found the site listed on your address bar and were wondering how it go there. A simple check of the history (Open Internet Explorer and hit the ctrl and H button at the same time) will show what day the site was visited. You may have to hunt for it.

The easiest way to eliminate the problem is to simply delete the internet history. This will remove all the sites listed in the adress bar. To do this, right click on the internet explorer and click properties. When the internet options screen comes up, look for the button that says clear history and click it then hit ok to close the screen.

Hope this helps.

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i am looking for a nice girl to be a couple with who i know will not cheat on me, but all the girls around here seem like they cheat on their bf, like my friend matt, please give me some advice on how to find the right girlfriend. thanks jordan, p.s. i will give you 5 points

Try finding a girl that you have common interests with. This way you're not just sitting around staring at each other, waiting for the other one to say something. A relationship where you're also friends is a wonderful thing to have.

Look at the girl's past when you decide that you want to date her. If she has a history of cheating on boyfriends, she'll most likely do it to you also.

When you decide to get serious, sit down with the girl and tell her up front that you are looking for a serious, committed relationship and make sure that is what she's looking for also. If she's not looking for a serious, committed relationship, let her go no matter how much you like her. A relationship where both parts of the couple are looking for 2 different things will go nowhere.

Make a pact with the girl that if either of you feels that you want something else, you will split up rather than cheat. It's better to be hurt by a gentle break-up than to learn the one you care about is cheating on you. I've made this pact with every guy I've dated, and it seems to help. I also have this pact with my husband.

Last but not least, don't be in a hurry. Too many times we jump into relationships simply because we want to be with someone, and nearly always the relationship ends in failure. Take your time to find the right girl, one that will be true to you. Usually when you stop looking so hard, you find that special someone right in front of you.

Hope this helps. Good luck in finding your special girl.

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hey i was wondering if any of you had a url music code for any christian rock band or atleast where could i find them. i dont want a music video but just music. its for myspace. thanks!

Try www.musicoffaith.com. It's supposed to provide free downloads of Christian music. A few more sites are:
http://www.downloadfreechristianmusic.com/
http://www.christianmp3.com/
http://www.sharesong.org/
Hope this helps.

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