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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Hello. So by my calculations and estimations, I have a 65% chance of dying within the next 8 months. Not by cancer or any type of disease, however that's possible as well. The situation is hard to explain, but it's inevitable. I've fully accepted it as well. Now. I want some reasonable things to do before I die. Keep in mind, I'm only 13. This isn't your typical hipster bucket list full of things like "go bungee jumping" and "be friends with a celebrity" because I don't have much time first of all, and second, bungee jumping is f*ckin terrifying (I had to put the * in because I don't know their policy). Anyway, I want fun reasonable things to enjoy in this world. And don't waste your time typing nonsense about the inevitability of my death. I fully understand and accept it. Answer my question, and nothing more. Thank you.
To answer this type of question requires knowing a little more about you. Your age limits what you can do and how far you can travel without parental support.
This thing about a 65% chance of dying within a year also plays in a factor for as I said your parents may need to support you in this as well.
First question is: Is this chance of death something your parents are aware of?
Second question: Are your parents in agreement with you and is this a deteriorating medical condition?
Third Question: What part of the country do you live in and how far can you travel with or without parental support.
These questions may sound like I am trying to find out more about your "inevitable death." In part it is somewhat true for in order to recommend something we/I would need to know what you are capable of doing and if it is possible for you to get to that activity.
For example have you ever been to either of the Disney Parks. The Disney parks are truly Magical Kingdoms that for most people are once in a life time adventures. These parks are very high on the “Make-A-Wish Foundation” lists of places people your age ask for.
Then of course there are places in other countries that have many things to do that can't be done in this country. This would depend on what your interest are as to what to suggest and whether or not you could get to these places. How would you like to go on a Safari and look at big game? That is something most people will never get to do but can be a blast if it is something that interests you.
Going on Safari in Africa requires you being able to travel and being able to be inoculated for the diseases that exist in Africa. So once again this requires more knowledge of what is going to cause your death in order to suggest something you can actually do.
If you wish you can answer me in a private message answering my question. Once I have your answers I will try my best to find something unique and fun for you to do.
Ok.yes there is a co worker that every time i see or speak to her my heart explodes.we see other a couple times a week. A d we always have connection type feeling and talk about anything .we are both married. And the other day she said that i was trouble with a smile .and that i dont bother her by coming by and talking to her. Do ask her out for coffee or ...
NO, you are both married and asking her for coffee is the same as asking her for a date which to my mind is cheating on your spouses. Cheating does not necessarily require a sexual happening. Anything you would hide from your spouse about a relationship with someone of the opposite sex or same sex, if it were the case, is cheating on the marital vows.
Talking to someone in the office is not the making of or having an affair. Talking with people in the office even with the opposite sex, is being office social. Being social is also knowing where to draw the line. Her comment to you that you don't bother her by coming by and talking to her, is most likely in the realm of office social and not as you might believe she has the same feelings for you that you have for her.
My advise is to keep the relationship at the level of office social. There is nothing more messy then miss reading her or entering into an office affair that ends badly. One or both of you could end up losing your jobs and your families.
Well i am 20 years old from India in my final year of Engineering. I hav been facing lots of criticism at home by dad who happens to be too much of a perfectionist.I somehow manage to get all his criticism for no fault of mine.i just happened to be seeing A cartoon on tv which led to one thing and then another. The last thing i knew was my dad telling me i have no aim in life and stuff..i agree i m not totally pumped up. I love to take things in my pace..it isnt so that i am not in the field i love. Or i do not study. I give in my 100%. Till now, i have given everything my best shot. I have failed and been disappointed..but i do not take everything too harshly. I try to learn from my mistakes. Analyze myself. But i do not show it or tell any1. Just bcz i did nt get marks the way my dad or for the matter even others expected..dad says i have been fooling them and nt studyng which i havent at all.I do not compete with any1 except myself. I do not mind others going ahead of me or staying behind me.its just i do not rush heavily into things, i love takin my time with things. I have huge aspirations in life and ready to face any failure bt you just cant criticize every step i take and call it "constructive criticism". I tried telling him my point of view but he just doesnt seem to understand my side. I may be wrong sumtyms i accept it..same way he cant be right all the time. I end up gettin criticized if i speak up..if i dont i neways get criticized. I ignore but this frustrates me.he has been jobless for some 8 years now and doing some small business which gets our family but my mother is the only one who is earning..i m really. Frustrated..please advice needed
Let me see if I understand this. Dad has been unemployed for 8 years while you have finished primary school and gone on to your final year to receive your Engineering Degree and he is criticizing you? If anyone need to be criticized for failing to live up to ones potential it should be your dad. Now you don't say why he is unemployed or what he was doing for a living or what the job market for that job. But any man who is out of work for any period of time and raising a family will look for work in any career field if his chosen field is not available. He does not go and open a small business that is not capable of producing an income.
I read what you said about yourself and the fat that you only compete with yourself. Not your exact words. That in fact is a good motto one I used myself. The motto I used that stood me very well goes like this, "The only person I need to be better than is to be a better person tomorrow than I am today." What that means is if I can grow and learn something new tomorrow that I did not know today. Then tomorrow I will be better than I am today.
I was in sales and marketing until I retired. In sales we are always looking for ways to motivate the sales force to do more. We sponsor contests, give out awards pay premiums for selling certain items. This was not my motivation. YEs I won the awards and I led my region and the company in sales more times than not. What motivated me was learning something new something that would help me help my customers. If could help my customers then the sales would be an easy by product and I would grow as well.
Don't let your father get you down. I believe he is frustrated and sees you passing him by. Your on the right track by not competing with anyone but yourself. The only things I might offer as a suggestions are these. When you get out of school you will have to learn to work at a faster pace and not of your own choosing to satisfy the requirements of your employer this is a necessity. The other is as Razhie said as soon as possible it will be in your own best interest to move out of your parents home and be on your own. You do not need and cannot ignore fore ever your fathers constant criticism.
i am 23/24 and a little embarrassed to be asking this if i am honest.
i recently had my Nova T (copper coil) removed (3rd Feb) due to pain levels. Just before then and several times after my boyfriend and I have had unprotected sex. Now the reasons im doubting myself:
1) the most obvious one is i have not had my period since (i also know this can be delays while my body sorts the hormone levels out) just the occasional spotting
2) a week ago on wednesday (24th feb) i vomited a little (out of the blue)
3) today (4th March) i have been sick again but i have noticed its after i have eaten super-noodles and im eating more crisps and chips/fries which is unlike me im not a fan of potato
4) when i first suspected i could be pregnant i did a test which was negative and i repeated this a week later and got the same result. so i thought nothing more.
its not been until today that i still recognize the symptoms of pregnancy again but taking the above into account i am now confused. im unsure where to turn on this situatuion.
a little bit of light on the matter would be brilliant.
thank you in advance
With two negative home pregnancy tests I would have to say you are not pregnant. as for the vomiting and the cravings I would chalk that up to your hormones readjusting themselves.
As to the missed period. Most likely your hormones readjusting themselves has something to do about it. Though stress is a bigger factor. Stress is the cause of more missed periods then pregnancy in young women. Any type of stress can make this happen though stress over whether you are pregnant is the most common cause of a missed period. The best check for sure is to see your GYN is you are still concerned.
It is dangerous to have unprotected sex. Not only does it increase your chances to become pregnant tremendously. You run the risk of catching an STD or the HIV/AIDS virus. Remember anytime you have unprotected sex you are having sex with all of your partners prior partners who he had unprotected sex. While he may be healthy he could be a carrier. Condoms are not only great at preventing pregnancy they protect against transmission of may of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.
While your partner may claim he does not like using condoms because of sensitivity issues or other issues. It is your life and you are the one who gets pregnant. Insist on condom usage or as the girls said back when I was your age; "No rubber, no lover."
So I've asked a couple of questions on here where the responses suggested that I talk to my mom or go to my doctor (which would involve talking to my mom). The problem is, I would not be allowed to be on this site if my mom knew about it. So how do I explain to her why I think a certain thing about me or my body? I don't want to lie to her, but I don't want to get in trouble either...
According to what I am able to see you are 17 years old. If the questions you have been asking have anything to do with your reproductive system, which could be anything to do with your periods, vaginal infections, bladder infections, cramps or anything that would remotely have a relationship to your sexual organs. You by a law called HIPPA do not need parental permission to see a doctor, any doctor for questions, examination or treatment of those concerns. You will have full medical confidentiality meaning no one can know if or why you have seen the doctor without your written consent to the doctor. This includes you parents.
The HIPPA Law is a Federal Law written by Congress. Within the law is a passage covering young people age 14 to 18. This passage grants these young people full medical confidentiality to seek medical help for those things they may be too embarrassed to speak to a parent about. A young person between these ages can seek help and treatment at any doctor's office, hospital emergency room or clinic without parental permission.
A young person within these age groups can seek an abortion were legal or birth control and the doctors will comply. Parents or anyone else will never know because of the strict confidentiality rules in place under this law. Congress did so not to promote sex among young people but to see to it they received proper medical treatment when needed.
When my children were your age I made sure they had copies of our health insurance card with them in the wallets. You should have a copy as well. As a teenager you are not always with a parent when medical help may be needed. Having a copy of your family medical insurance card insures you get prompt medical treatment wherever you seek medical help. A hospital emergency room can never turn a patient away by law. Clinics and doctors offices have a choice. You should ask your parents for a copy of the family health insurance card.
IF you have a question or if you need medical help; you can go to any doctor or your family doctor for help. Just tell the doctor this visit is under the rules of HIPPA and is ton to be shared with anyone . You will most likely be given the office rules on HIPPA to sign. Read it, make sure it protects your privacy and that no one other than the insurance company will not of your visit. The insurance company gets a billing code only not a diagnoses so no one really knows why you sought the doctors help or advise.
Go see a doctor IF you need to, mom does not have to know.
Does fingering affect menstrual cycle .. By delaying it ??
It should not have any connection. Most likely you are having some anxiety over the fingering and that is the cause of your delayed period. Stress caused by anxiety and other stressors has caused more missed periods than pregnancy in young girls. so stop worrying.
Fingering or masturbation is a normal activity for teenagers. As long as your fingers are clean, have no live sperm on them you have nothing to worry about. Sperm does not live long once it leaves the male's body. It needs the internal body temperature of 98.6 to survive.
My Dr just started me on Celexa it's about a week I'm exhausted and feel like cry sometimes how long does it take to adjust and is there any success stories out there because all I read is bad things....
Celexa (citalopram) is an antidepressant in a group of drugs called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). It may take 4 weeks or longer before your symptoms improve. Keep using the medication as directed and tell your doctor if your symptoms do not improve after 4 weeks of treatment. About your medication. If your symptoms don't improve in 4 weeks contact your doctor.
That is the clinical information from the web concerning your medication.
I'm 16 and I'm not typically a sexual person. Occasionally I masturbate but it's nothing too serious. I have a group of friends that I hang out with and we always go to parties. We got invited to this one girls birthday kick back thing. Meanwhile I was there I felt so weird I felt really horny. I had the urge to masturbate really bad. I was going to the rest room and I saw an old friend. I stopped to say hi to get my situation out of my mind for a bit. There we started talking and she was telling me she's a lesbian. I didn't really care until she kissed me! I felt so weird about it but it felt so normal to kiss her back. She asked me if I've been with a female before and I haven't been with a male or female. I told her that and she asked if I would let her touch me. I said sure but I felt nervous... She fingered me and sucked on my nipples and she asked me if I liked it and I was just trying to be negative about it and say I didn't feel anything. I feel weird to think I might be attracted to girls more. The more I denied that I liked it the more she'd tell me I was soaking wet and I knew I defiantly did like it but I don't want to be judged of liking females :(
I would not worry about being attracted to females. This was your first sexual experience and you body reacted to what was being done to it not the sex of the person doing it to you. Fact of the matter is most people have their first sexual experience with someone of the same sex. This is true of both boys and girls.
This is called sexual experimentation and is perfectly normal for a teenager. You're not gay or bisexual. While you may not realize why you allowed her to do this because in the back of your mind you knew what worried you the most about sex could not happen with her. In no way could you get pregnant by her.
Don't be so fast to put a label on yourself. Enjoy being a teenager and enjoy experimenting with your sexuality.
TO be honest I doubt you friend is truly a lesbian. IF she were she was born that way and you would have seen it in her long before this. It is possible like you some girl did to her what she did to you and now she thinks she is a lesbian. If I am right she is no more a lesbian then you are. When your ready, when the right boy comes along, one you trust. You will allow him certain liberties. When you find a boy you really trust and truly have feelings for you will give that boy your virginity.
I'm 30 weeks pregnant. This is my first baby and I unfortunately have been restricted from all activity because I have high blood pressure. Recently I've been so horny and I'm so upset I can't have sex. Is there anything I can do to make it go away or get some pleasure without over exhausting myself?
High blood pressure happens to some women during pregnancy. My wife was ordered to bed during the last six weeks of her pregnancy. Her blood pressure returned to normal right after she gave birth to our son.
As far as not having sex at this point in your pregnancy this is normal and may or may not be due to your high blood pressure and more to the position of the baby.
Now what we were allowed to do may have been okay for us so I suggest you check with your doctor before trying what we were allowed to do. First my wife was allowed to masturbate. We were also allowed to make gentle love, foreplay with light fingering and oral licking. As for my sexual needs my wife did what she was comfortable with which was mostly HJ's.
It's tough if you have had an active sex life up until this time. So check with your OB/GYN and find out what sexual activity he or she feels will not harm you or the baby. Don't be embarrassed to talk to the doctor about this. Doctors are human too and they too have sexual needs while they or their wives are pregnant. So they have gone through or will go through what you are now going through. At some point in all pregnancies doctors tell their patients no more sex until 6 weeks after delivery. So talk to your doctor.
Can you be pregnant if your on your period
The quick answer is most likely no.
For most women, about 85%, they are most fertile during the time from the 7th day of their cycle to the 21st day of their cycle based on a 28 day cycle. It is during these 14 days that a woman is most fertile as she will ovulate during this time producing an egg for fertilization. The first 7 days and last 7 days including her period are consider a safe time to have sex.
For the other 15% of women they can ovulate at any time during their cycle; even during their period. This is why I answered most likely no. IF you know when you ovulate and it is not during your period then no you cannot get pregnant during your period as long as you ovulate 6 days prior.
This information would make the long answer to be. It would be based on when you ovulate. It is important to know when you ovulate if you are going to have unprotected sex. You are most fertile 3 days before and 3 days after you ovulate.
Since I see your age to be 16 I will play the role of grandfather for a moment. I will not tell you you’re too young to be having sex as you are already having sex. What I will tell you are you should insist on the boy using condoms.
Boys don't like to use condoms but they are not the ones to get pregnant. They are the fertilizer sales man who after making the sale can and generally do walk away especially at your age. Then there is the risk of STD and the HIV/AIDS virus to be concerned about. While condoms don't block all STDS they are effective in blocking many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. They are also very effective in preventing pregnancy when used properly.
When I was your age the girls had a saying; "No rubber no lover." You should adopt that same saying as it is you who can get pregnant.
I took ipill as i ws not sure of pregnancy..my partner and i didnot had sex but he just fingered me with precum..dat month i did not had my periods is this due to ipill or i m pregnant.. Am very very tensed and i want an advice
Actually clauudiahh is incorrect. You can get pregnant from precum as it has more than enough sperm in it to fertilize an egg. That being said I do not think you are pregnant. Instead I think you missed your period because of the stress you have put yourself under worrying that you might be pregnant. Stress more than pregnancy causes more missed periods in young women than actual pregnancy. If you continue to be stressed you will miss your next period as well.
What I suggest is you go to the rug store and purchase a home test kit. Follow the directions on the package for when and how to test. Note these tests have more false positives than negatives. If you do test positive do not freak out. Buy a different test kit wait ten days and test again.
If you are over 14 and cannot afford a test kit you can go to any free clinic and be tested. Under a Federal Law called HIPPA anyone over the age of 14 can see a doctor for any problem concerning their reproductive system without parental approval or knowledge. This is why you can go to a free clinic for testing if you cannot afford a test kit.
Is it possible a girl get pregnant if sperm stay in her ass during sex ?
There is no record of anyone getting pregnant from anal sex. The environment of the anal canal is such that if the guy cums in your anus the bacteria in the anal canal will kill the sperm.
Note when having anal sex never let the guy go from your anus to your vagina or mouth without first stopping and washing his penis and groin area with hot soapy water. I know in porno films I looks as if they do but that is the magic of photography. They either film in segments and piece the film together or they stop the filming and wash the actor before he goes in the actresses mouth or vagina.
Remember the actresses vagina is her primary money maker. There is no way she will allow a producer or director to allow an actor to go from her rectum to her vagina and risk all types of infections that would cause her to have to stop working until cured.
20 year old female, usa.
I just got in a new relationship a couple of months ago. It's been almost a year since my last boyfriend of two years and I ended things. I haven't had the best experience with guys in the past, I somehow always end up getting hurt/played. My current boyfriend is honestly the best, he's seen me at my worst and yet still remains by my side. So why do I feel like somethings missing? He's not the type of guy to show me off to the world, and I love showing him off. Its not like he keeps me a secret either, everyone knows we're together. I've fallen for this guy but for some reason I seem to feel like it's one sided. Maybe it's the fact that I'm so insecure about myself due to getting played so much in the past. I also get extremely jealous to the point where even if he likes an ex gfs picture I freak out, and I most definitely don't like him texting other girls because I feel like he's seeking other girls attention. So why do I keep pushing him away with my constant insecurities? Why do I feel like he feels like he's not getting something from me so he has to find it elsewhere? How do I get over my past insecurities and keep him around? I really don't want to lose him.
You probably have a very good reason for being insecure one that is deep seated and not as recent as you may believe. The only true method I know of to rid oneself of something like this is threw therapy with a psychologist.
There is no shame is seeking professional help for something like this. As I said this is something that most likely is deep seated. Something that may even go back to your childhood that you have boxed up and stored away in your deepest part of your memory. But it does trigger these insecurities as a way of protecting you from what you fear even though you should not always be fearful of whatever it may be.
If you are working and have health insurance through your employer you most likely have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Ask your manager or HR department if you do and how to contact them. Tell them you would like to contact a psychologist for help with your insecurities. They will offer you one or more names of people in your area to call or offer to set up the first appointment for you. Generally the EAP program will pay for the first few appointments then your health insurance kicks in. All of this, the contact with the EAP program and the psychologist is strictly confidential. NO ONE WILL KNOW WHY YOU ARE BEING SEEN OR WHAT IS DISCUSSED.
What is discussed in therapy is strictly confidential and a chance for you to open up and discuss anything and everything that may be or has ever bothered you. From these discussions the therapist can help you find the trigger to the insecurities you have and help you deal with them better.
If you are in college go to the school medical office and ask to see a psychologist.
Those of us on this site are not doctors and we are not qualified to truly help you with this problem.
let's say you went to a grocery store and you mistakenly dropped a glass bottle on the floor and it broke open and one of the cashiers call you crazy in Spanish and the other cashier laughs and says yeah in spanish....(assuming you don't speak nor comprehend Spanish) but you do, would you report them to the corporate office if there was no manager around? it's like todays cashiers etc fail to realize that If they didn't have customers at their store they wouldn't have a paycheck.....
If it were me and I did speak Spanish I would say something nasty back to them about assuming a customer does not understand their language and how rude it is to make fun of anyone especially someone you are dependent on for a paycheck. Then I would leave my cart where it was and walk out. But that is me.
Yes I would think it appropriate to go to the stores website, most all have them today, and write a complaint. Writing a complaint just does not make you feel vindicated but it brings a problem to the attention of management that could be costing them customers and business. While the two employees will not appreciate you complaining the management of the store will.
Sometimes I finger myself when I'm horny and I go back and forth, like a male is fucking me and one day I saw my own cum on my finger while I was fingering myself like fucking myself. Will that make me pragnate?
Basic biology should tell you that you cannot make yourself pregnant. While there are some species that can reproduce on their own the human species cannot. You need a male to give you his sperm in order to get pregnant. The fact that you had some cum on your fingers tells me you must have had a very nice orgasm.
i frequent my bank, and there is a new teller there and ive notice she is always eager to help me and if I don't go to her window she gets upset and wont speak to me, or if I don't speak to her she gets upset....today I called the bank and boy was she extra happy...I can feel her just smiling in the background....wth...should I ask her what's up or just leave it alone? my bro thinks she is prolly bi and has a crush on me....she is younger than me I do know that much.....and she comes off as freaky.....what do u all think is she just being friendly or does she like me like? thanks
SO should I give her my number or wait to see if she's gonna ask me for mine....im not an outdoorsy person but I wouldn't mind chillin with her
While things may have changed since I worked in a bank as a teller. I am going to go with the idea that she is just being friendly. When I worked in a bank there were firm policies in place concerning non-fraternization between employees and customers and even employees themselves.
These policies were in place to insure the security of the bank's funds. We were not allowed to have accounts in our own bank. Alliances were made for us with a bank nearby where we could have bank accounts and cash our checks.
Given how tightly the banks are watched I would say not much has changed since then. I was once in a position similar to you where one of our customers a very pretty young lady would only deal with me. One day I met her outside the bank and had to tell her I could not date her as long as I worked for the bank and she was a customer. The very next day she closed her account.
Do you guys think if a 13 year old is talking to or dating a 15 year old is it ok
As far as the age difference is concerned I'm okay with that. What has to be taken into consideration here whether your the 13 year old or the parent of the 13 year old is this fact. The 15 year old boy is going to be far more knowledgeable of the dating rituals of teenagers then a 13 year old and may want more or go further than a 13 year old is ready for or will understand what he is wanting and why.
All teenage boys confuse lust and love. Teenage girls and first loves are real and expect that the love they feel is the same love the boy feels. This is where the problem is. If this is a first date, first love situation then a 15 year old boy may not be the right boy to date at this time.
If you are the 15 year old I suggest you talk with mom or dad and see how they feel about this. Dating is something teenage life is all about. This is when you learn the social graces you will need as an adult. Unfortunately this is also a time when raging hormones of puberty override common sense.
While sex itself is not something you would want to talk to mom about. Dating and sex is. Mom was once a teenage girl and she can help you defend yourself from a teenage boy whose only reason in dating you is lust full intentions.
I'm in desperate need of advice. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now and I love him and he has been there for me and has helped me through my addiction. I'm a recovering heroin addict but my family hates my boyfriend because we got into a physical altercation once in front of my 8 yr old daughter and as a result my daughter now lives with her dad. My boyfriend has never used drugs and he wants me to move across the country with him to start my life over because I recently just started staying with my parents again to get clean. However my older sister is getting released from the hospital soon after getting an infection from drug use and my boyfriend and I are terrified of her being in the same environment as me because it may jepordize my recovery. I've always used with my sister and I'm not sure if she wants to change. I don't want to move away from my family and daughter but I'm scared if I don't I will fall right back into drugs and may never make it back out. What should I do?
A question about your daughter; who has legal, court ordered custody, of your daughter. The reason I asked is just because you had a "physical altercation once in front of my 8 yr. old daughter." This may not be a legal reason for the courts to take your daughter from you. Even if family services removed her they still need a court order for her to remain in her father’s custody. IF you want her back you could go to court and ask a judge to award custody to you.
The reason I asked this is if you do want custody of your daughter this could complicate you moving with your boy fiend as the court could also order you to stay so he has visitation. Conversely if you do move with your boyfriend, I will discuss this next, you can ask for visitation rights and have her sent to you for winter or spring and summer vacations.
As for moving with your boyfriend: Any addiction is a horrible thing. Being around another addict especially with someone you shared your addiction with is a step towards failure as you have pointed out. I support you moving with your boyfriend.
Once you reach you new home, if you are not already a member you should find a local AA meeting and join. AA is not just for alcoholics they have helped thousands of narcotic users recover as well. Below is link to the AA website from which you will be able to find a local meeting for NAA which are the meetings for those recovering from Narcotic addictions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
My brother in-law is a 25 year recovering alcoholic and swears by AA. The 12 step program and their system of help works. Best of all it cost nothing or whatever you can afford to donate as they pass the hat at each meeting.
So me and my boyfriend were having sex and he nutted in me. My period came on the next day after we had sex because it was time for it to come on. Is it still a possibility that I can get pregnant or am I okay being that my period came on the next day ???!!!
If your are like most women you should be fine as the day before your period is your safe time.
What do you do when you fear your husband is having an affair? When there have been signs for a considerably long time? There have been all kinds of little things such as that he's been incredibly secretive. He never tells anyone where he's going when he leaves the house or where's been when he comes home late. When anyone asks, he asks why they want to know. If you ask again, he flips out and starts screaming, turning it into a huge fight for absolutely no reason at all. He claims that he got angry and started screaming because whoever asked him used a "hateful" tone of voice even though they didn't and even if they did, he still blew it way, way, WAY out of proportion. Also, what if your daughter said she's seen him flirting with single mothers at said daughter's basketball practices and other such things? Then you saw his truck (a very distinctive looking truck) parked at the home of one of the aformentioned single mother's? AND you found a second cell phone filled with texts from a woman that NOW, he seems to have hidden somewhere? This marriage is on it's last leg. If he is seriously having an affair, i'm afraid divorce will be unavoidable. But I can't prove anything yet. What should I do?
If you feel your husband is having an affair then he probably is. The first thing you should do is seek out a good divorce attorney if that is the direction you think you need to go. Find out from the attorney what grounds you need to file for to get the best settlement for you and any children still living at home with you.
Most divorce attorneys will work on contingency, meaning they will take their fee from any settlement the get you or from your husband as part of the settlement. You may have to hire a private detective to get the goods on your husband. An attorney who practices divorce law may have one he or she works with. Their fee may also be part of the settlement.
As you go through this process say nothing and do nothing to make your husband suspicious. Do keep an eye on the finances. Make sure all of his income and yours are going into joint accounts. If you see evidence he is moving money out of your Joint accounts advice your attorney immediately.
When you do serve you husband with divorce papers arrange to have a locksmith on call. You will want the locks on you house and your car changed immediately. The locks and the ignition on newer cars may have to be done at a dealership. If so it will be expensive as it involves reprogramming the computer. You need to do this to keep your husband from taking from you anything that are marital assets even if titled in his name. This
will all be settled in the divorce.
If divorce is the only answer please remember that as much as you will hurt over this; the divorce is not your fault. You are not the one having an affair. You are not the one who has left the marital bed to have sexual relations with another. This is all on him. What ever excuse he comes up with, what ever his lawyer uses against you it is being done to hurt you and to get you to agree to a settlement favorable to him. Ignore what they say as it is mean to hurt you even more then you are already.
In fact I would recommend you find a good psychologist to work with while going through all this. I would suggest a women who you can talk to and get everything out rather than keep it inside you. If you can show that you are strong and their attacks are meaningless your attorney can do his or her job better.
Good luck and I'm sorry your marriage has come to this.