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Realationship
Do you guys think if a 13 year old is talking to or dating a 15 year old is it ok
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
As far as the age difference is concerned I'm okay with that. What has to be taken into consideration here whether your the 13 year old or the parent of the 13 year old is this fact. The 15 year old boy is going to be far more knowledgeable of the dating rituals of teenagers then a 13 year old and may want more or go further than a 13 year old is ready for or will understand what he is wanting and why.
All teenage boys confuse lust and love. Teenage girls and first loves are real and expect that the love they feel is the same love the boy feels. This is where the problem is. If this is a first date, first love situation then a 15 year old boy may not be the right boy to date at this time.
If you are the 15 year old I suggest you talk with mom or dad and see how they feel about this. Dating is something teenage life is all about. This is when you learn the social graces you will need as an adult. Unfortunately this is also a time when raging hormones of puberty override common sense.
While sex itself is not something you would want to talk to mom about. Dating and sex is. Mom was once a teenage girl and she can help you defend yourself from a teenage boy whose only reason in dating you is lust full intentions.
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My first thought to your question is as to who is doing the asking, are you the parent of the 13 year old or are you the 13 year old?
Either way, no matter which you are, I will share what I did with my 3 daughters when they were that age. I told them that once I got to know a boyfriend of theirs and knew I good trust them with my daughter to treat them well, then at some point, and this depends on the maturity of the individuals, I would allow them to date without chaperones.
But until that time,here was the deal..since young love or first love can be a very real thing, I told my girls that if a guy if interested in you and wants to date or asks you to be his girlfriend, if you are interested in him as well, then tell him that you'd like to but for starters, to spend time with her, the parents are okay with a male friend or boyfriend spending time with her at our house, same as having a girlfriend over, except that her bedroom door must stay open at all times. The way a guy would treat us and her would be observed by us and we being the adults had a better chance of spotting any warning signs. Now here is where I was perhaps a more progressive parent. I told the girls if in this period of being together they got to the point where they felt they couldnt keep their hands to themselves and privates covered and wanted sex, then all they had to do was come to me and let me know and i'd make sure our Dr. saw them and got them on birth control. I would rather have a daughter not have sex until she was older, but if the choice was between a pregnant teen and a non pregnant one, I'd choose non pregnant. The girls let the guys know this and not a single one of them had the guts to come and hang at our house. I feel this is a reasonable alternative to teen who cant drive yet and do real dating, to have a way to spend time together getting to know each other better and do fun stuff together. On the other hand, my sister had the same rule for her daughter and that boyfriend agreed to the deal, I saw him over visiting my niece very often, everytime I went over to see my sister. So i am not talking about something a far stretch outside of reality. this is very do able and sets parents minds at rest if that is the big concern.
As for talking to boys, girls should be able to talk to guys as well as girls. As teens, it is a crucial part in them learning how to gain understanding of the other sex too. However too many have lost the ability to talk face to face or on the phone due to the texting craze and that is detrimentral to their ability to gain some experience in how to relate to others, especially boys and boys as well need to learn that girls aren't all that mysterious, just different. You did state talking, not texting. I do not consider texting to be a good form of conversation. Talking on a phone or face to face is a much better way to learn about each other and is healthy and normal. FOr teens to think they can hold intelligent info gathering conversation about the person they are interested in by the infrequent texts or replys to texts is liking expecting pigs to be able to fly. Ain't gonna happen folks. I know my girls had plenty of questions for me, what does it mean when a guy says and does this? What should I say to my girlfriend who is doing this and that? In the younger teens, no matter how mature a teen is,(I was one of the mature ones) and I also know I lacked the perspective of life experience yet, plus I know something now I didn't know then, that the pre frontal lobe of the brain which is responsible for making good decisions, having better judgement of people, etc. is still not fully developed growing and wouldn't be until about the mid 20s according to scientists. This doesnt mean this age group can't talk to or date each other, but they require adults they trust who know them well and can be available to give their guidance and advice each step along the way rather than just allow teens to jump into the dating world to figure it all out on their own.
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Well, to ME that depends on their personalities. Alot of times, girls mature faster than boys so their a bit more adept at things and can often times be good judges of character.
I think so long as their intentions are both good, and no one is trying to pressure anyone into doing anything they dont want to do then i dont see a problem no.
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