about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

i am 16 and i have never got close to a guy i have never had sex and i havnt even had my proper first kiss. I dont know why but everytime i got to know a guy he asks me out n then i panic so bad that i cant breathe. i really need advise i dont want to feel like the most innocent person ever. most of my friends have had sex n i feel left behind.
plz help

You're actually way ahead of them. Having a lot of sex at a young age is very immature. Their "relationships" don't mean very much and they are taking huge risks with their bodies. Being innocent is okay. I didn't have my first kiss or my first boyfriend until I was eighteen and a half and I turned out okay. Much better than the people I remember being a little jealous of earlier in my life.

Being afraid of relationships isn't good though. It's okay to be nervous, but there's no reason to panic. I think that maybe it would be best for you if you took the first step into your own hands. If there's a guy you like ask him out yourself. If you can't do that, remember some of the guys that have asked you out before. If you are interested in any of them, write a letter. That way you don't have to deal with them face to face and you can say exactly what you want to say in the letter. Tell him that you are interested in him, but that when he asked you out you got so nervous you didn't know what to do. Ask for another chance and see what happens. Warn him about your nerves and tell him what you will probably do if he approaches you. Say that if he is willing to work with you on that, you would really like it if he was your boyfriend. This should at least get you started.

Remember, if there aren't any guys that you are interested in, don't force yourself into a relationship to catch up with your friends. You'll get there soon enough and if you wait for it to be right, it will be really special when you do. Good luck. :)

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I'm in my first year of a new program in university. I was in a different program last year, and since the switch I've been doing a lot better.

However, it's crunch time now. For the first time this year, I'm feeling totally overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do. Here's a breakdown...

Monday: Nothing due.
Tuesday: Accounting quiz, 4 chapters of reading covered.
Wednesday: Programming lab due, Chemistry assignment due.
Thursday: Another programming lab due, Math test.
Friday: 2 Physics assignments and a physics lab due.

I know to break it down into little bits to get it all done, but I keep looking at my schedule and I'm totally overwhelmed. Keep in mind that I'm at school from 8 am until about 5 pm every day, and I can't miss class because I have something due in almost all of them. I also can't really do much work between classes, because I don't have access to a laptop.

My programming labs are giving me a lot of trouble, and my prof isn't any use... she keeps telling me I know what I'm doing when I have no idea. She won't answer any more of my questions!

Any advice on how to get through this hell week?

Sounds kind of like what I'm going through right now. What you need to do is take a deep breath and calm down. You'll get it done or you won't. It's not the end of the world if you turn something in a little late. Lots of professors are willing to give extensions and sometimes handing it in a day late is worth the ten points or so off that you would get. Sometimes you just can't do everything. We're only human! Making a perfect grade isn't always realistic. Worrying isn't going to get you anywhere except stressed. For now, take it an hour at a time. Make a very detailed schedule of what you are going to do and when. Plan out every hour of every day this week. Make sure you put some time in there for relaxing, at least an hour a day, or you will probably go over the edge. Make sure you're eating enough and snack a little too. That will give you the energy you need to get through this. Try to follow your plan as best you can, but remember that you can't always know how long something is going to take to do. Don't get discouraged if what you actually do is quite different from your plan. Having the plan keeps things structured and organized and that's what you need. Think about next week. Next week it will be all over and no matter how you did, your life goes on and you'll be fine. You'll be relieved and happy. The calmer and more carefree you are now, the easier everything will be to do. I wish you the best of luck and I know that you can get through this. You always do, right? :)

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{Sorry this is so long}

I have been at college for three months now, and I can't seem to make friends. I'm friendly enough and get along well with people in my classes and my roommate, people I see every day. But I haven't made any close friends. I'm very unhappy here. This was my second-choice school to begin with, I only came here because my parents told me that it was too expensive for me to go to my first-choice school. I'm getting top grades in all of my classes, but when I'm not in class or doing work (I also have a job) I feel like there's nothing to do. I'm scared to go out and talk to people - it's so awkward. I don't know how to get people's numbers or make friends. Everyone said that making friends in college would be easy and come naturally, but they're so wrong.

I've gone home almost every weekend to see my boyfriend. (One weekend we went out with my highschool friends, and I plan to meet up with them over Thanksgiving break as well.) I love him dearly and he's my best friend. I could see how this might affect my relationships with people but I also don't think that it's it. For one thing, the reason I'm going home is because I'm so unhappy at college! There's nothing to do here. I missed an audition for a group I wanted to join because I was sick, and I can't pledge to a sorority first semester (though I plan to next semester.) My boyfriend makes friends very easily and though he (like me) puts a lot of time into our relationship - we text constantly, talk online, usually talk on the phone an hour or more a day (though it's been less lately as he's been busy and I've been sick). Mark is just a naturally friendly guy, everyone likes him (hah, except for my parents). I'm naturally very quiet and shy, until I get to know people - I'm not that way with my close friends. And when I'm with people I know, I relax and am more open and friendly. I made friends in high school... why can't I do it now?

I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me. I have clinical depression, which usually doesn't affect me unless I have my period - I'm on antidepressants and they work well. However I remember one of my friends who also has depression telling me that she has SAD - Social Anxiety Disorder. I wonder if I have that, or something similar - or am I just being stupid? Why can't I seem to handle college? Everyone else can do it, everyone else has at least one friend, SOME friends.

Actually, at the beginning of school, I had a couple friends I'd met at orientation, we hung out a lot and it seemed like they were going to be my core group of friends here at college. After I went home for a weekend, we got together once, maybe a couple times. And then they just stopped calling me. I called, left voicemails, but finally gave up - there was no sense in looking desparate. I had also made a friend in my building, but after an awkward night where he thought I wanted to get together with him - and I, having a boyfriend, said no - we've talked less and less. When I see these people around, they're friendly, but they never call, and I don't want to seem pushy. The one guy friend has extended an open invitation to join him whenever, but they go out to bars and clubs - not really an environment I want (or my boyfriend wants me) to partake in. The town my school is in is very skeazy, dangerous, and bad, so that's not just me.

What's wrong with me that I just get abandoned like this, or just can't seem to handle this whole college scene? I don't understand, I'm really lost and confused and a little depressed. I'm not completely unhappy - I've been working well, I have my boyfriend and our wonderful weekends together, and the hopes of transferring next year. But when I'm stuck here on the weekends - as I am now - it's just awful. Does anyone have any advice to help me?? Please?! I'm miserable!

BL4CKB3L7_F41RY gave very good advice. I'd like to add though, that the majority of the people in college don't find their core group of friends until their junior year and a lot don't find anyone at all. I know that sounds terrible, but I've come to terms with it. If you go into college already in a relationship, you start out at a disadvantage. You have to alott time to your boyfriend and will be limited in what you can do. Most groups of people that you see hanging out are just party/drinking buddies. They aren't real friends. They don't do friend things. They aren't going to be there for each other unless they are drunk. You don't want that. If you are extremely desperate for friends, take a break from your boyfriend to get some. I found that I couldn't do that. Not in a million years. I'm in a very similar situation as you except my high school friends ditched me too. The only people I really talk to are friends from my summer job. They live all over the place so I very rarely get to see them. It's really hard at first, but after a year I have adjusted. My life doesn't focus around friends. I find other things to fill my time. My suitemates complain about me staying in my room all the time and never going out with them, but that's just not my thing. I don't drink and I don't feel like joining silly clubs or spending a ton of time with a sport. I know a lot of people. I'm not a complete social outcast. I have a "friend" that I talk to in most of my classes and sometimes I'll go to meals with people. The thing is, you're only there for four years. It takes awhile to form a solid friendship and then what? You graduate. It's not always worth putting all that extra time and energy into it when you have really great friends and a wonderful boyfriend already. Don't be discouraged. The next time you see people in a group together laughing and you feel jealous, listen to what they're talking about. It's probably a bunch of stupidity that you wouldn't want to get involved with, not friendship. Friends may come. Just don't worry yourself over finding them. Friendship is something that just happens. Let your current friends be your support system for now and you will be just fine. I hope things get better for you. Good luck and remember that you are definitely not alone. :)

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Im really falling for this guy right now his name is dez. He really listens to me and doesn't ignore me like all the other guys i dated. The only problem is he libes in georgia and i live in washington dc. Im really falling in love with him. What should I do you guys.

It could work. If you're not willing to put a LOT of time and work into it though, don't try it. Long distance relationships are hard. It helps a lot if you can see him in person every so often and it can hold together if it's only a temporary separation. For example, you're both 16 and are planning on going to the same college when you get out of high school. That type of thing. People in long distance relationships often have a stronger emotional connection. The problem is, there is no physical contact. It's hard to prove to someone that you love them if you can't even give them a hug. Trust can become an issue to because you have no idea who he's hanging out with and what other girls he might be getting that missing physical component from on the side. I think that you should try it. If it's not working out though, end it as soon as you can. The longer you wait the harder it's going to be. Good luck. :)

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well about the young boy earlier we had sex 2 day ago and we didnt use a condom and he bused in me a told me we couldnt have sex anymore he always do this and i dont understand why he does this over and over again he knows how i feel but when i push him away he make a way back in my life to hurt me again it really hurts like someone stabbed me in my chest

Stay away from him. He's a terrible person. If you completely avoid him he's not going to be able to find a way back in. If he tries to talk to you just walk away. Block him online. He is treating you like a piece of trash. Have respect enough for yourself to give him no more chances to use you again.

You should also go to a clinic or emergency room as soon as possible and get a day after pill. You don't want to end up getting pregnant! Good luck. I know you can be strong. :)

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okay..well im a female 14 and i went overr my friends house yesterday and we invited over her bf and our guy friend jake(

Some people are just cuddlers. I've done it with friends before. With my boyfriend's best friend while my boyfriend was sitting right there. It meant nothing and my boyfriend didn't care. It only means something if it goes any farther. Don't worry about it too much. If there was a problem it would be between Jake and his girlfriend. There's nothing you can do other than refuse to do more than cuddle with him if he tries anything. Act like nothing happened because nothing did! Good luck. :)

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13/f

My best friend *lets call her Megan* just recently told me that she got raped by her brother and cousin. Her brother was removed from the family but she didn't tell the police. I'm very worried for her. I wanna tell an adult but she said she'll kill herself, so i didn't. I guess what I'm asking for is whether I should consult someone. Please help.

Thanks in advance

She needs counseling especially if she is threatening to kill herself. She doesn't have to tell her parents or the police or anything yet, but she does need to get some kind of help. Try to get her to talk to either a counselor at her school or a hotline. She should be tested for STD's and pregnancy and stuff like that too so the sooner she seeks help the sooner that will happen. Give her this hotline even if she says she's not going to use it. Good luck.

Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN)
1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)

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14/f

The other day, I posted something, about my friend hurting my feelings. But, I hardly went into ANY detail. So, now that I feel a little better, I'll go into some serious detail.
-I go to a rich snobby catholic school. Which means, every girl in there, is super mean.
-Even like the loser girls, arn't even nice, no one is.
-We don't do anything in our school, like dances & junk. [ another good reason to leave. i like schools that have activities & stuff, yeah i'm weird..]
-i may hang out with the popular group in school, but i'd rather have no friends at all.
If you were at my school, you'd understand. You can't walk away from your lunch table, without worrying their talking about you.
-Their all SUPER boring. The only way they have fun, is if their picking on someone else.
-None of the guys like us, because they think were all bitches. so, therefore you can't even have crushes on guys & stuff [ they may sound like a retarded reason to switch schools.. but come on, think about it.]
-Theirs only one girl who i actually like. But, sometimes.. she even gets on my nerves, because shes kinda a slut.

So, thats my school. I got in a big fight with my 'best friend' yesterday, I was saying how I was just thinking, only THINKING about switching schools. & shes like why? & i was like.. well its not like you talk to me alot anymore & stuff. [ Yeah, sounds like a stupid reason to leave.. not. Shes one of the few real friends i have.] & she got all defensive saying no im not, oh my god! & stuff.. so then, she got one of the MEANEST girls in the grade involved. & the girl ended up screaming at me & everything. So, i ended up leaving, & i cried myself for sleep, for two hours.


Give me one good reason why I should stay at that horrible school.

It sounds like you may just be in with the wrong crowd. The whole school may not be bitchy. I'm sure you don't know all the groups of friends and each person individually well enough to be able to know for sure. Give it one more chance. Drop the friends you have and don't associate with the people you know. You're going to feel lonely at first, but it would be the same as if you went to a new school. Hopefully you can find some people that are in the same situation as you. If not, it's good practice and will help with adjusting to a new school setting. It will get you used to the feelings that you will be feeling there, but you'll still be in a place where you are comfortable and know where things are. Be optimistic about finding new friends there. Christians have a great set of morals and values and tend to be good people. I wish you lots of luck! :)

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heeey people

so this is a bit confusing and sorry if this is long. i'm 14/f

july 2005 we moved and i went to a new school.in that school they teach classes from 1-12 grade so its basicly elementary middle and high school together. it's the worst school E.V.E.R no 1 likes it.
i hated everyone there except this one guy. he was the only one i liked and felt comfortable around. that time i was in 7th grade and he was in 8th grade. i looked at him a lot and then he started liking/loving me.
february 2006 he fell into a deep conversation with me. i was so nervous that i said really weird things and he thought i meant it in a bad way.he also told me he loved me. (and i know he did but i dont wanna explain all the details) so in march i FINALLY got the courage to applogize to him. i called him and i think he was nervous cause he didn't say that much but he said it's okay again. but still after that we ignored eachother and tried to make us jealous.
sometimes he talked to me was really nice but the next day he gave me the feeling that he hates me. that really sucked cause i love him so much.
anyways he also hated the school so he left it and now he goes to a different school. on the last day of school he didn't say anything to me not even good bye.i have to admit i also actet like i dont care. i cried so much when i got home. it was the worst day of my life.
i'm in 8th grade now and he's in 9th grade
so now he is gone but i think about him soo often and i love him so much. i know i do. and since then i saw him once cause he went to our school to see his friends i quess. but he didn't see me.
and i really just wanna talk to him again and apologize for everything. i just have his phonenumber but i dont know where he lives i dont know his e-mail or sn. and i also know where he goes to school. but i just dont have the courage to call him after everything that happened. please help i love him soo much. please dont tell me to get over him i really just cant i tried but it doesn't work. what should i do this makes me really depressed

Well it doesn't take an expert to say that you should call him. That's the only way you're either going to get things solved or get the closure that you need. Tell him the truth. It's not that you lied to him, but he doesn't know everything. Don't be embarassed that he makes you nervous. That's very normal. If you just apologize for things, he'll think that you meant to do them at the time and just felt sorry afterwards. Say that he makes you nervous because you like him so much and that sometimes because of this you say dumb things and regret them right away. So you'll be apologizing in advance in a way. Tell him how much you think about him and care about him. Ask for his screenname so you can talk to him more comfortably. If you are completely open and show him all of your feelings he will probably respond very well to the call. Don't tell him that you love him just yet. It may scare him. Most of all don't be discouraged, stuff like this happens all the time. Don't feel like you totally messed everything up. You didn't. It's easy to look back and say you should have done things differently, but at the time you did what you thought was right. Now, forget the past. Focus on the present and see if you can get this resolved. Be confident and optimistic, it'll help a lot. Good luck. :)

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My best friend, well shes in love with her boyfriend so much..they're been together for about 7 months, and well a couple months ago he had sex with his ex girlfriend. they took a break then they went back out again, now all they do is fight, and he treats her liek shit.. like really bad. Thing is, she wants to break up with him.. but she knows she cant. She says when things are good nothign in the world could be better. Last night he went to the movies with this other girl, and yeah its ok if he does but if she even talks to another guy he gets so pissed off.. What should she do, shes tried talkin to him, and right now they arent toegtehr because of last night, but shes so in love with him.

There's nothing that you can do. This is something that is between them. Be there for your friend when she needs you. Listen a lot and if she asks for advice and try not to tell her what to do. Just tell her what you think about the whole thing. She needs to make her own decisions when it comes to this.

Here are my thoughts on the situation. Love means nothing here. There is a lot more to a relationship than love. There needs to be things like committment and trust for it to work. You can love someone a whole lot, but just not be compatible with them. It doesn't sound like your friend is compatible with her boyfriend at all at the moment. There are tons of people out there that your friend could be much happier with. Happiness is the most important thing. If she's not happy, then it's not worth it. People can grow, though, so it could work for the two of them in the future. For now though, it is best that they separate. There's just too much going on right now and it's hurting both of them.

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15/f

My school requires me to fulfill 24 community hours. I have only 3 and the hours are due by the end of January, but I don't know what to do for them. I got the three hours from camp, but it was from pulling weeds. PS it needs to be supervised like I can't go to the beach myself without anyone and clean it up and put that, it has to be through some function or organization

so basically what is a way to get more communtiy serivice hours I was thinking of an animal shelter but I'm too young for that.
PS. don't say babysitting please
thanks so much and I would love you if you could help.

When I had to do my community service hours, for some of them, I volunteered for the salvation army around Christmastime. You know how they have those people ringing bells with big pots collecting money at streetcorners and stores? That'd be them. All you have to do is stand there, ring a bell and say thank you when someone gives you some change. It's really easy and you can do it with a friend or a whole group of friends. Contact the salvation army in your area and they should be able to set you up. Good luck! :)

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hey well im a 15/f.. and i don't why but i feel so ugly compared to the other girls at my school... They are lkike so grogeous and guys actually talk to them and stuff... well me i have hair on my face like on my upper lip im always getting made fun of because people think im weird and anorexic because im soo skinny... and i want to get a makeover because im tired of judging me... so should i get a makeover? and don't say no you should just be yourself.. well it doesn't work like that at my school its either your pretty and you fit in or your ugly and everyone hates you... so what should i do?

I think a makeover would be perfect for you. It's fine to want to look good and be noticed. I'm going to copy part of my answer to a question that was asked awhile ago. It definitely applies to you too. Remember that because guys talk to certain girls doesn't make them better than other girls. A lot of the time guys will flirt with and talk with girls that they think are easy. They want to get flirted at back and maybe get a little action. You don't want to make that impression on people.
Anyways, this is why a makeover would be really good for you:

If people notice you change on the outside they'll compliment you, hopefully, making a change on the inside. You'll realize that people do think you're attractive, they just don't feel the need to say it when they see no reason to. Any outward changes you make will bring compliments, but realistically, you're not really going to look that much different. After awhile, you will develop good self-esteem and not rely on your perceived outside appearance for the feeling that you are beautiful. People are complimenting you, not your change. The change just made them think about it for a minute. Eventually, you won't even think about how you look. You'll know you look good. I know this sounds totally cliche, but everyone is beautiful. You just have to find your beauty for yourself. One more tip: try not to stare at yourself in the mirror so much. Nobody judges you as much as you judge yourself. Good luck! :)

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okay, so my friend just broke up with her [ex]boyfriend after 10 months of them going out. she said she doesnt like him like that any more and just sees him as a friend and wouldnt ever go out with him again. she even told me that if any of her friends were to go out with him after this, she would want it to be me. and recently ive really started to like him and so i flirt with him every once in a while. i know he is really bummed about them breaking up, but he is such a nice guy, and has every perfect quality, and i just cant help but to be attracted to him. am i a bad friend for this?? what should i do?!

Not at all! If she hadn't said anything and you had gone behind her back and flirted with him, then you'd be a bad friend. You didn't do anything like that at all. I mean, you didn't even have to ask her if she was okay with it, she told you she was on her own. It almost sounds like she wants you to. There's no reason to feel guilty. If you can't help feeling like a bad friend, talk to her and tell her exactly what's on your mind. She'll reassure you better than anybody that it's completely fine. Good luck. :)

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Sooo...ive been dating my boyfriend for 11 months. (I'm a 15 year old girl). Its been the best 11 months of my life...but its VERY stressful....my bf is a very very jealous boy. We have every class together in school (10th grade). Pre-boyfriend i had a billion guy friends...and now i have like 2. Whenever i go up and talk to ANY guy..even the dorkiest guy in the class...he completely flips out on me. I'm afraid that hes a huge control freak. Almost every day he gets mad at me for it..and i end up in tears at nighttime because he drills it into me til i feel guilty for just TALKING to a guy. I tell him time and time again that im just talking..but he insists that i dont know when i flirt and that i "giggle and bat my eyes". I know that isnt true...and i try sticking up for myself.It usually ends up in a HUGE fight where he and i threaten that were gonna go hurt ourselves and sometimes he does...which makes me feel even more guilty. Hes the perfect example of the jock who starts varsity basketball and is really good looking...and i hate to make him hurt himself and ruin his rep. I cannot imagine leaving him..but i really really need some advice on what to do. Sorry this was so long..but please help me..

First you need to admit that these haven't been the best 11 months of your life. They can't be if you feel guilty and cry at night. You can't put up with him controlling you like that. It goes beyond him just having a jealousy problem. If he is hurting himself over it he is not stable or mature enough for a relationship right now. Even if you can make him stop being jealous (which you can't because he has to learn on his own) something else will come up and you'll have to be worried about him hurting himself over that. This is not healthy for either of you no matter how much you care about each other. Maybe you two will end up together in the future, but it would be best for both of you at this point to split up. Your happiness should be your number 1 priority. You're not happy right now. You can't be if you are asking for help. It's going to be hard for you to do it but I know that you have the strength to. I wish you lots of luck.

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Well there is this teacher...yes he's a babe...but that's besides the point...well my friend has been overly flurtatious with him and he's made hints to return them...like he always pulls her out of other classes about "projects" that don't exist...anyways...they're not havning sex or anything...but could this get my friend , the teacher or even me for knowing...in trouble?

If there is anything going on, sex, relationship, whatever, it is a very bad situation. Let me tell you a story. If the facts aren't completely right, they're at least close.

There was once a young, beautiful English teacher. She was spunky and cool and destined to be a huge success. Then she got into a secret relationship with one of her male students. As soon as it was found out she was fired. After he graduated, she married him. She ended up divorcing him after a few years because he abused her. At one point, he threw her through a window in public. VERY lucky for her, my school gave her a chance and she kept teaching. Just in time for me to be in her class. The majority hated her because everyone knew what had happened. Students and teachers alike. Nobody respected her and she was just viewed as a dirty, stupid slut. Her life had been completely destroyed. She got it back together in the end though. She left my school, got an administrative position someplace else, and is married. She's doing very well now. Even so, all that drama and that low part of her life were all because of one STUPID choice. Teacher-student relationships are always a bad idea. The rules are there for a reason. To protect people from that type of thing happening to them.

Don't let your friend make that choice. I know the male female thing is opposite from the story, but that doesn't make it any less dumb. I mean, what if your friend got raped? Talk to her and make sure that your suspicions are true. Maybe they have more of a friendlike relationship, which is just fine if it's not taken too far. The fact that the teacher is lying about projects and stuff, though, makes me think that there's more to it than that. Get your friend to confess and tell her what could happen if she doesn't stop. I wish you lots of luck. This is going to be really hard for you. Your friend may feel betrayed and you might lose her for awhile. It's worth it though, to save her all that pain though isn't it? Be a good friend and do the right thing.

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Im starting to feel very self concious around people now. Im starting to think that everyone is thinking im ugly and I get really nervous around people now. Before I wasn't so self concious and I dont know why im like this. Last year I just changed and I dont know how. Is this just a phase?

Yes, it's a phase. It has been studied in psychology and it has a name. It's called an imaginary audience. Most people, especially girls, go through a phase in their life as a young teenager when they feel like they are being evaluated by everyone. It's a self-centered point of view. You're not the focus of everyone's attention and people don't evaluate you any more than you evaluate them. You walk in a room and you have a pimple, as devastating as it seems to you, nobody really cares. Half the people won't even notice. Don't imagine the worst about how people will react. Imagine, instead, how you would react if someone you knew had the same problem. Taking the focus off of yourself should help get you out of this. It's never fun to be overly self conscious. Remember that you haven't changed, you're just adjusting to a new part of your life. Look in the mirror less, smile more, and screw what other people think. Just have a good time and good luck! :)

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im 14 and never had boyfriend. most of my friends have. am I just a loser? I dont mind it much im happy and everything but usually when people find out their just like "OMG YOU NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND?!" and it just makes me feel pretty dumb. i like this one boy but I know I dont have a chance with him because im not exactly pretty.

When people say that they aren't picking on you or trying to make you feel bad. They are complimenting you. It's nothing against you or your choices. They are very surprised that you've never had a boyfriend. Even though you say you're not pretty, I'll bet you are and I'd even say that you're smart and have a great personality too. You must, or those people wouldn't be surprised at all.

When people used to say that to me, I would take it the same way you are. I'd be embarassed and try to defend myself. After awhile, though, I realized what people meant when they said it. It made me feel really good about myself from then on and confident that someday I would get a boyfriend. Sure enough, I did. It took 18 and a half years, but I am glad I waited. I missed out on all the drama of high school relationships and landed myself in a very stable relationship with a really great guy.

People will say a lot of things. Try not to take it so much to heart. They really don't mean anything by it. They're being kind of ignorant. Just because someone is attractive and smart doesn't mean they're easy and it doesn't mean that they wouldn't be completely happy single. If you're happy, that is all that matters. Don't worry about what other people think. :)

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So i've gone on two dates with this guy. He likes me, I like him we both know and we scheduled two dates this past week both of which had to be canceled because he's in college and apparently had some tests/projects that he has to get done. The only thing that pisses me off right now, is that wednesday the day of the date, he doesn't call me to tell me that we're not having the date, I get online and he's online and he IM's me telling me he's sorry and that he doesn't have time to go on a date today, and on friday which was our other thing and that he was really sorry and blah blah blah. I'm kind of angry, but i'll live with it so i'm just like talking and we're having a nice conversation. Thursday comes around and he tells me that we can hang out on Friday because he'll finish what he needs to do on thursday so he can hang out with me on friday... my hopes are all up and i'm excited... night time comes around and he IMs me telling me that he wasn't able to get everything done and that we can't hang out tomorrow cause he'll be busy... UGHHH pisses me off... I don't know whether or not I should keep him because it's like he always seems to be bringing my hopes up and then killing them instantly...

Cut him a little slack for now. This is a really hard time of the year for college students. Even so, be skeptical. Cancelling that many dates is rather suspicious. He must have some free time if his work is taking that much longer than he expected. He could easily be blowing you off. Since it is the time of the semester with lots of deadlines and stuff though, don't jump to conclusions. Don't try to set up any more dates. See how he responds. If you live in the US he'll have Thanksgiving off and probably a few days around that. Don't try fighting fire with fire. It's better to just let it burn out. Good luck. :)

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13/f

If you read my questions before.. there was more to the story, i went to my friend's school to talk to him and to comfort him about his breakup w/ my other friend. and someone told me that they heard that people was hating on me.. and i asked them who.. they said it was susan... my "friend". and i told 'em that she needs to stop talking shit. and they said that she said that i was the one who was talking shit. and im like "........." and they also said susan told 'em this "story" whatever.. and it wasn't even true.. and she didn't even know what was even happening.. it was between me & some girl named michelle and we're not friends anymore now.. cause of this guy =.= and susan said that michelle asked me for some advice because she liked this guyy, and i told someone and it spreaded around... but

IT WASN'T TRUE !

michelle didn't like this guy and the guy liked her.. and i tried to help out.. but it didn't quite work out well.. i learned my lesson, and i tried to work it out with michelle but she wouldn't let me.. she js started assuming stuff.. and my bestfriend jenny.. shes mad at me and idk why.. im begining to think that susan must've told her some lies.. >.<

online jenny & michelle was talking in this chatroom.. and my sister made my screen name, and it had something viet or whatever jenny saw me come in and said "wth? tryin to be viet.. -_-" " and michelle was like "LOL WANNABES THESE DAYS." and they were talking in canto.. and out of nowhere michelle was like "DIE BITCH DIE!(:" and jenny was winking.. >.

I don't think you should be friends with Susan or Michelle. After everything cools down, you'll probably be able to tolerate each other, but you can spend your time hanging out with better people than them. Which friend was the guy dating? One of the names you mentioned or another friend? I'm not sure I entirely understand the situation, so sorry if I am wrong with my assumptions. If I am, correct me in your feedback and I will change my answer to better fit what actually happened. That said, if the guy had been dating any of the three you mentioned by name, you should have thought twice about going to comfort him. Since you did, your female friend probably feels like you are on his side, not hers. Like you betrayed her or something. Even though you didn't pick a side and were just being a good friend, that is how she might see it. So then of course rumors and insults will be passed all around because she would feel hurt and would want to lash out at you. As much as this whole thing is not your fault in any way, I think that if you apologize to them it may help a little. Tell them why you did what you did and that you support them and are their friend just as much as anyone. Say sorry for not asking them if it was ok if you could go and talk to him. Try to do it one at a time instead of when they are all together, they could team up on you if you didn't. Talk to Jenny first. If you can get her to be civil maybe she will help you out with the other two. If they won't be convinced, then it really doesn't matter. They are real witches. Put your focus on Jenny for now. If nothing works, take your sister's advice and wait it out. Things will get better with a little time. It's not going to be like this forever. They will calm down and hopefully everything will go back to normal. Good luck! :)

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I come from a small town with not to much to do. Everytime I come home I spend a few days with my girlfriend and for these few days all we do is watch movies and have sex. There must be more to a relationship than that but i dont know what else we can do. If anyone has any suggestions on other things a couple can do I would greatly appreciate it.

If you don't see her that much, it is normal to have sex a lot when you do. If she's okay with it, then I don't see any problems there. There are other parts to a good relationship though. To simplify them all, you need to be best friends. Do things together that friends would do. Go out to a movie or for dinner. Go to a game or play soccer in the backyard...it is harder since you live in a small town, but I'm sure there are a lot of things you have done with your friends there. Good luck. :)

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