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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I wanted to know if there are others out there who feel that it is still ok and normal for parents and their adult age offspring to discuss their sex lives with each other?

This is a different question, one that has not been asked to this forum since I have been writing for it.

If you were to ask a psychiatrist or psychologist as to what is normal or what is not normal. There answer might be "Who is to say what is not normal. As for your question is it" normal for parents and their adult age offspring to discuss their sex lives with each other?"

My answer is: It is certainly unusual but as to normal, who cares. If you and your parents are comfortable discussing your private sex lives with each other more power two you. For one thing you parents have years more experience with sex than you do. By discussing your sex life with them you might find something they do that may make your sex life more enjoyable. You also might find something you have wanted to try but felt it was weird is not all that weird.

My personal take on sex is this. What happens between consenting adults is; what happens in the privacy of one’s home is no body's business but yours. If you and your parent being consenting adults are comfortable discussing your sex lives with each other who am I to say it is abnormal. As long as it is just a discussion it is not incest so it is also not illegal just in case you were thinking along those lines.

The operative words her are consenting and adults. If you are an adult then don't worry about normal. Normal can be a state of mind.

I got into a big argument with my mom recently, and she hit me. I am 13 and this is the first time shes ever really hit me and I don't know what to do. She struck me with the belt on my hand and leg. Although, I kept screaming and pushind her back saying it was abuse. Later, when we were relaxed, we talked it through and she sologized for hitting me saying she hated doing it. The hits left welts though, am I being abused? Even though it just happened once? She admitted she was wrong for hitting me and everything, but am I being tricked?

In a very technical sense of the word Abuse; yes your mother did commit child abuse. I say technically because she has only done it this once and probably feels worse than you do.

You did not say what the argument was about so all I can say is something was said or done that caused mom to lose control. It may have not been fully what you said or did but the culmination of things leading up to your argument.

Given that which you have written I have to ask why you think you are being tricked? Is it because mom lost control and hit you? If so give her the benefit of the doubt that she is sincerely sorry for hitting you and that it won't happen again. If there are other reasons why you are feeling this way then I suggest you discuss this with a trusted teacher or your school principal. If they feel you were abused they will report it to the proper agency to intervene on your behalf.

A parent is allowed to discipline a child as they see fit. When it comes to corporal punishment the law is quite clear. A parent may spank a child and that spanking is to be applied to the child's butt only, which may be bared for the spanking. Most states only allow a parent to use their hand to spank a child and no other instrument such as a cane or a belt.

Does warehouses hire skinny women?

Quick answer is yes. It is not your size but your ability to do the job. Not all warehouses count on share muscle to do the job. Many warehouse jobs are pack and ship warehouses where you fulfill customer orders. One such warehouse is operated by Amazon. Others use forklifts to move freight around. In this work it is your ability to drive the machine not how much weight you can lift.

UPs, FEDEX and other small package airlines operate different types of warehouse where your ability to move and lift bulky items is required. In these warehouses they have methods where the so called 97 pound weakling can work in them.

My advice is if you want to work in a warehouse that you go and apply. Before you do apply do a bit if research and see what the company does so you are confident you can handle what the job may require. In this way you can speak confidently with the person interviewing you. Being confident in your ability will go along way in helping you get the job.

My gf had periods on 4 march... on 9th i fingered inside her vagina with semen on my hand... after 68 hours she took ipill.. till today(aft 5 days) she didnt get wiyhdrawl bleeding.
Is she pregnant??

While nothing is certain your girlfriend should not be pregnant for 3 reasons.

1. You fingered her with in 7 days after her period. This is a considered to be a safe time to have sex as it is before most women ovulate and eject an egg for fertilization.

2. sperm only live for a short time outside the body. If the Semen on your finger had dried then it is most likely the sperm had already died.

3. The Ipill has been known to be effective up to 7 days after sex. Why she did not get a period after taking the Ipill I can't say. It may be her body as not ready to have a real period but the pill still did its job.

I will say this if your girlfriend continues to stress out over this I can almost guarantee she will missed her next period as more periods are missed due to stress than pregnancy in young women. If you want to make sure and settle her nerves get her a home pregnancy test and have her follow the directions on the package as to when and how to test.

I'm 21, female and I've been dating my 23 year old boyfriend for about 10 months now. Everything is great, I love him a lot and he loves me just as much. However, lately, I think I've realized that I am a really selfish and jealous person. But it only seems to be in regards to him. I try to really not let it show because I know it is irrational but sometimes I can't help it and I want to know how I can stop this. Sometimes, it really puts me in a mood and I don't want my bad habits ruin the good thing that he and I have.

For example, in January, my boyfriend left for a month long road trip with his best guy friend. This whole thing was planned since long before we started dating so although it was terrible to have him go for that long, I couldn't be mad since he planned it so long ago, before he even knew there would be an us. Yet, I still couldn't help but get jealous every time he texted me the great things he was doing and wished that he was doing them with me.

Another example, he just got hired into a salaried managerial position where he works. He has to go through a two week training for this, work as a manager for five weeks and then return to training for two weeks. It's normal for the people that go through this training to stay at the hotel that the place of work sets them up in. However, the training was only an hour away from our hometown so my boyfriend decided that he wanted to commute - largely in part to not wanting to leave me again. He decided after the second day that it was too much to drive there everyday and go through training and then go home. I got upset that he wanted to leave again and got upset thinking that I would not be able to see him for two weeks (and then two more weeks when he has to go back), he told me it isn't a vacation for him, not being able to see me for long periods of time and we got over him having to go away again. However, after he talked up how his training was not going to be fun and it was going to be ever so boring and dreadful, he texted me last night that he and the other managers were bowling at D&B and then they were going to the bar. I guess I felt kind of jealous again that he was out having so much fun when he told me all about how much it's going to suck especially because we are going to be apart but there he was having so much fun.

I know, I probably sound like the worst person ever and you're probably wondering how he was ever able to deal with me for ten months. I really want to quit thinking about myself so much, it's just hard when you think about the fact that we've been together for almost ten months and with his first trip, two total weeks of training and then five weeks in store, we've only actually been in each other's presence for seven of our ten months together. I guess I just want to be the one that he is having the time of his life with and making memories with but I guess I have to be able to learn to not be with him and let him do his own thing when he needs to.

Any help is appreciated, anybody that went through the same thing in their relationship or something. Thanks!

Quick answer is yes. It is not your size but your ability to do the job. Not all warehouses count on share muscle to do the job. Many warehouse jobs are pack and ship warehouses where you fulfill customer orders. One such warehouse is operated by Amazon. Others use forklifts to move freight around. In this work it is your ability to drive the machine not how much weight you can lift.

UPs, FEDEX and other small package airlines operate different types of warehouse where your ability to move and lift bulky items is required. In these warehouses they have methods where the so called 97 pound weakling can work in them.

My advice is if you want to work in a warehouse that you go and apply. Before you do apply do a bit if research and see what the company does so you are confident you can handle what the job may require. In this way you can speak confidently with the person interviewing you. Being confident in your ability will go along way in helping you get the job.

Hello there! So I've been questioning my sexuality for quite a while now, and I just can't find anything online that fits. The closest is asexual, but I don't know??? I should first mention that I am female. I do in fact experience sexual attraction, although I don't desire it AT ALL. I would however, love a romantic relationship. I'm so confused honestly. I went from thinking I was straight, to poly, to pan, to bi, to aro, to ace. Can you experience sexual attraction and still be asexual? I'm sexually attracted to all genders, hence the reason for thinking I was pansexual. Romantically, I'm attracted to all but females. But I do not want sex. I find it stupid and unappealing. I don't even know what to think anymore?? I've never been in a relationship also. Could you please help me organize my thoughts and figure this out? It's been a mystery for months bleh

According to a previous post your 13 years of age. At this age you are actually quite normal. Being confused about your sexuality goes along with puberty and the new hormones. Not wanting sex is also normal for someone your age.

What I don't understand, and it is not just you. Is this rush young people have to day to hang a label on themselves. This is a wonderful time in your life. You're no longer a child but a young adult. This is truly a time of discovery to find out just who you are and what you will be not just sexually but as an adult. TO my mind hanging a label on yourself now just inhibits your ability to learn about yourself and grow.

My advice: Relax enjoy being a teenager and forget about labels. Your sexuality will let itself be known at the right time when it is the right time for you. Do not let others tell you what your sexuality is either for they will be wrong.

Right now you are exactly what you should be at your point in life. This is the time to enjoy other people and discover yourself while doing so. Be open to new ideas. The one thing you are not is lesbian. aro and Ace are new terms to me and I'm rather certain your neither of these either.

As for Poly an Pan you may find your Pan after you have experienced more of your sexuality and grown more both in age and maturity. It is way too soon to call yourself Pansexual. As for Poly. poly is short for polyamory which is a lifestyle which means married and dating/ You're not married so this term cannot fit you until you are and then only if you and your significant other decide to join this lifestyle.

can samone become pregnant while having protected sex and she had her periods before sex and 2months after?

You asked a compound question so let me try and answer it in parts.

Question: Can you become pregnant if you had protected sex?

Answer: Very possible depending on the type of protection used. Condoms are only 85% effective when work correctly. Doctor prescribed or fitted devices vary in protection based on the type or medication with the pill being the most effective when taken properly at about 98%.

Question: Can you be pregnant after having protected sex and two periods?

Answer: Most likely not; though the while it is very rare there are women who have been pregnant and have had what appears to be menstrual bleeding all through their period.

The best way to put your mind at rest is to take a home pregnancy test or wee you GYN for a test and an internal ultra sound.

I want to find a boyfriend and be in love. Or at least have some kind of trust/commitment with someone. Every guy I ever go out with only wants to fuck me. I am a virgin. No guy ever lasts more than one or two dates because they just want to fuck me and when they realize it's not going to happen they magically lose interest. I've been on dates/hung out with dozens of guys and this is always the situation. I am not sluttty. I am actually quite modest. I'm introverted and awkward and weird. I can't for the life of me understand why I never attract someone who wants something more than sex. Maybe I should just have sex with all of them and allow my life to be a series of one night stands. Maybe that is my destiny?

I think I just corrected my answer to this question from yesterday. I do apologize for answering another question in the box for your question, my mistake and I am really sorry.

As I said I think you may be looking in all the wrong places, not really your fault because that is probably where the guys are. At your age the best places to find guys are mostly what we called meat markets. By the way I'm old enough to be your grandfather.

Sometimes you get lucky and you do find a decent guy or incase of a guy a girl you want to bring home to mom but not always. In general you will find Mr. or Miss right away from these places.

When people ask me where I met my wife I tell them we met in an elevator which is partially true. We worked for an Airline. I worked at the airport and she worked in reservations. We spoke often each day as I checked people in for their flight. I had to go downtown for training and was on my way up to her floor to meet her for the first time. She was on the elevator, I took one look at her and knew who she was and she knew who I was. We each said hello to each other calling each other by name never having been introduced. That was 46 years ago and we have been married for 45 years.

Guys your age and I was certainly one of them at that age are always looking for sex, except when you meet someone that meets the ideals you are looking for. Then the game changes as it did for me. I knew immediately the girl was someone I wanted to get to know better first for I have always believed you must be compatible outside the bedroom. In the bedroom you can learn to be compatible if you can communicate.

Marriages do not last as long as mine has if you can't communicate. Don't give up on your ideals and don't give your virginity away just to have sex. You will be disappointed. Sex for the first time should be a loving experience and that won't happen if you have sex just to loose your virginity.

Below is part of my answer that should have been in the first answer and is now in context in the answer to your first question.

My son finally turned to a dating site. He had a couple of false starts. The girls were all nice and I could see him living out his life with any of them. Though they just didn't or couldn't be fitted to what he was looking for. Then he met my future daughter in-law. They were both looking for the perfect fit but they have been able to change enough (each making a compromise) to be perfect fits to each other. So much so I can see how deeply my son loves her and how much she is in love with him. They are now a perfect fit for each other because they were willing to change just a bit for each other.

You have nothing to lose by going on match.com or any of the other sights and putting your profile on line with what you are looking for. It is my firm belief Mr. Right is out there if you look in the right places. Save your virginity a bit longer. Mr. Right will appreciate you did so and you will have a much better experience when you give him your virginity.

Once again I apologize for yesterdays mistake.

Ive been using the pill for about a year and 3months now but i decided to go off and get my body back to normal i have been off the triphasil birthcontrol pill for 14 days..This past weekend on friday and sunday i had unprotected sex and he came in me we are not trying to have a baby..my period usually comes around the end of the month the last week but im getting cramps and things which means my period is almost due..am i pregnant now and if i am can i stl use the morning after pill

If you are getting your period you can't be pregnant. Remember what your period does for you. It cleans out the lining of your womb to get it ready for your next cycle to accept implantation of a fertilized egg.

Now I will tell you that there have been times where a women has bled like she has gotten her period all through a pregnancy. This is very rare, in general a period tells you that you are not pregnant.

There are two things you can do to insure you are not pregnant.

1. Take the Ipill, the plan B pill or morning after pill as they are known. The Ipill has been known to be effective up to 7 days after coitus, intercourse.

2 Purchase a home test kit. Follow the directions on the box as to when to test. Generally you must wait 10 days after coitus to take the test.

Doing one or both of these should put your mind at rest as to whether or not your pregnant. If you do nothing and continue to worry about being pregnant I can almost guarantee you will miss your period. More periods are missed over stressing out over being pregnant then actually being pregnant.

Short answer to your question is: If you get your period you should not be pregnant. You can confirm this with a home pregnancy test.

And I'm sick of it. I'm a 12 year old girl. Any time I say something he disagrees with he threatens to hit, kick, choke, etc. He's gone at me like he's going to hit me before. I'm sick of it sometimes I feel like I can't breath and my bodies tense I want him to stop but my mom doesn't think it's a problem and my dad just threatens to hit me more if I tell him to stop. What should I do? Is this illegal?

Out of context as this is I can't say if this is a criminal act. It is child abuse, mental abuse as this is a form of child abuse. In proper context his threats can be seen as Assaulting you which would be a criminal act. Even though he is your father he cannot threaten to choke you hit, you or kick you. He can threaten to spank you for that is an appropriate form of discipline within reason.

Whenever you feel threatened you have the absolute right to dial 911 and ask for help. No one should live in fear. IF you cannot for some reason call for help but can leave the house go to the nearest Fire or Police Station. These are Safe Havens for children.

Tomorrow when you go to school talk to a trusted teacher or the principal and tell him or her what you have told us what you have told us. By law they have to report this to the appropriate agency if they agree you are being abused.

If you have a cell phone you might try to record dad threatening you to play back to the teacher or the police. You can have the phone in you pocket it should pick up what he is yelling.

I'm 21, in college and questioning my sexuality (as I have been for years).
In the past I've had two serious relationships, have gone on several dates with men who didn't work out, and I'm actually currently in a relationship (which I'm seriously considering ending). All of these have been with men and now I feel like I would be happier with a woman.

Sexually, I'm attracted to both men and women, but prefer the female body to a males. As for everything else, I also feel as though I enjoy the company of women to men.

I enjoy feminine activities, shopping, doing makeup/nails, reading, interior decorating, cooking, eating out, gardening, arts and crafts, walks on the beach, ect. I know that these things aren't just attributed to females and that everybody is different, but when it comes down to it most men don't like doing them as I've run into time and time again. I'm so tired of being with a guy and being told he won't do anything "girly" with me because everything I like to do tends to be "girly".

I tend to wish I was holding hands or laying in bed with another female when I'm with my boyfriend. I have such better conversation with other girls and always have more fun around other girls.

When it comes down to it. I can't see myself spending my entire life with a man. I keep giving it another chance with men because I always think "maybe this one will be different" but I always wind up wishing I was spending time with a girl.

You may be a bisexual person but are you a true lesbian; that I'm not sure of. Scientists now believe that Lesbians and gays are born that way. It is not something they become or a disease that can be cured. They are not as sure of Bisexuality is something they are not so sure of. They think it may be a learned experience though they have not ruled out that like being lesbian or gay it is in the DNA from birth.

Just about every guy I know hates doing girly stuff myself included. Just as many girls hate doing guy stuff. Though when you love someone and I mean truly love someone you make compromises. I have been married for 45 years, you don't stay married for this long without making compromises.

You compromise on just about everything from where to go to dinner and on vacation to what color to paint the walls. When I shop I want to go in find what I want and get out. Typical male. My wife likes to shop and look at things. We compromise and shop then do something I want.

Your feelings are that of a typical women from that point. Your relationship feelings I would say may put you in the category of being bisexual. Everyone has different feelings about bisexuality. Mine are what happens in the privacy of one's own home is strictly their business. I have no problem with people being Gay, Lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

My suggestion is simple. Do what feels right for you though I would suggest you not give up on men altogether. I feel you will or still need the male touch from time to time if so that is just fine.

I am 24 and a virgin and every time I go on a date with a guy, he tries to make the moves on me within an hour of knowing each other. I want to have sex, I truly, truly do, but I want it to be with someone who I've established trust with. I can't establish trust with someone within an hour of knowing them. Why does EVERY guy I go out with seem to only want to have sex with me? I am really losing hope that that "right guy" doesn't exist, that I'm not going to fall in love or establish a relationship with someone. I just don't see how it's possible. Maybe this idea of "the right person" is a construct of society? Maybe I'm not the good girl I think I am, and am actually the promiscuous type but don't realize it. Maybe I need to just lose my virginity to someone I don't know and get it over with. Why do I attract this type of energy? I'm actually somewhat awkward and weird/unique, so I really don't understand why every dating situation is so sexually powered. Am I too closed off emotionally? Maybe I don't actually want love or a relationship and just want sex? If this is the case should I just get rid of the virgin burden? I just feel like every dating situation is the same and always based on sex and I just want to understand what is happening and why, instead of just letting the same situation occur over and over and over again. Advice?

My apologies the answer I put in answer to your question was meant for a different question. My answer to you is below; I'm sorry for the mix up.

I can't give you a reason as to why you attract this type of guy other than maybe you should think about where you meet them. Some places are just known to be meat markets where the people that go there are interested in just having sex, one night stands. That plus the fact that guys your age still are looking for lust over love.

I would not suggest you throw your ideals out the window and have sex with the next Tom, Dick or Harry that comes along. For one thing it will be very unsatisfying and for another you will end up hating yourself for doing so.

I can't say for certain from the little you have written but I get the feeling your a bit like my son. A young lady hurt him dearly after which he was commitment shy and went looking for a perfect fit. We live in an off the rack world were you tailor to fit. I have the feeling you have a picture of the perfect man in mind and what you need to do is find someone who fits to a point that you can tailor to be a better fit.

My son finally turned to a dating site. He had a couple of false starts. The girls were all nice and I could see him living out his life with any of them. Though they just didn't or couldn't be fitted to what he was looking for. Then he met my future daughter in-law. They were both looking for the perfect fit but they have been able to change enough (each making a compromise) to be perfect fits to each other. So much so I can see how deeply my son loves her and how much she is in love with him. They are now a perfect fit for each other because they were willing to change just a bit for each other.

You have nothing to lose by going on match.com or any of the other sights and putting your profile on line and what you are looking for. I is my firm belief Mr. Right is out there if you look in the right places. Save your virginity a bit longer. Mr. Right will appreciate you did so and you will have a much better experience when you give him your virginity.

I want to find a boyfriend and be in love. Or at least have some kind of trust/commitment with someone. Every guy I ever go out with only wants to fuck me. I am a virgin. No guy ever lasts more than one or two dates because they just want to fuck me and when they realize it's not going to happen they magically lose interest. I've been on dates/hung out with dozens of guys and this is always the situation. I am not sluttty. I am actually quite modest. I'm introverted and awkward and weird. I can't for the life of me understand why I never attract someone who wants something more than sex. Maybe I should just have sex with all of them and allow my life to be a series of one night stands. Maybe that is my destiny?

The answer is very possible depending on some differing factors. One thing that does change based on today's definition of virginity is, you are no longer a virgin regardless of whether or not he broke your Hymen. The fact that he penetrated your vagina with his penis says you are no longer a virgin.

If retaining you Hymen so you could say you were still a virgin you may as well let him fully enter you and pop your Hyman. For as I said your no longer a virgin and depending if he had any precum you could be pregnant. Precum has enough semen in it to make a woman pregnant. In order to get pregnant for most women you should be in the 7th to 21st day of your menstrual cycle. It is during this time that you ovulate. Depending on when you ovulate and eject an egg there is a 6 day window, 3 days before and 3 days after that the egg is viable for fertilization. The lifetime of the sperm is 3 days.

The only way to make sure you are not pregnant is to take a home pregnancy test. Without knowing when your last period was, when this event took place I would have to say there is a 50/50 chance you could be pregnant. Hopefully your not pregnant.

From now on until you are married and ready to have a baby, even if you are on birth control, look at the penis as a loaded gun. Make sure the barrel end is covered by a condom. He may not like it but he is not the one who gets pregnant.

Iv been using triphasil birth control pills for a year and 3months but decided to stop using it..i havent use it for 11 days but today i had unprotected sex and he came in me..is it possible for me to be pregnant

Possible yes, probable no.

Just like when you started on the pill you had to wait while the medication built up in your system to be fully protected. The same is true in reverse. It will take some time for the medication to workout of your system this is why a doctor will tell you to wait 30 days or longer before trying to get pregnant after stopping the medication.

As for possible anything is possible if all the conditions are right. If you were fertile at the time and recently ovulated ejecting an egg that could be fertilized and a sperm cell reached it before the fertilization window closed. Then it is possible but again not probable.

If this sex took place within the last 7 days you could still take the morning after pill (The plan B pill). It has been known to be effective for up to 7 days after intercourse.

One way to make sure your not pregnant and to put your mind at ease is to take a home pregnancy test which I recommend you do. The reason is simple. Even though I doubt your pregnant if you continue to stress out over possibly being pregnant I can almost guarantee you will miss your next period. Stress causes more missed periods in young people than pregnancy so take a test and find out for sure.

Note: I'm sure you had your reasons for stopping your medication. If you are going to have sex, are not married or in a long term relationship and or do not wish to get pregnant. Then make sure your partner uses a condom. Besides preventing pregnancy a condom protects against many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Also the pull out method of pregnancy method fail to prevent pregnancy because the precum has enough sperm to impregnate.

You motto regarding sex if you do not wish to get pregnant should be no rubber (condom) no lover. Guy mostly don't like condoms but they are not the ones who get pregnant you are. so if they want to enjoy sex with you they need to be responsible and use a condom.

Was just fooling around with my partner.. During dat time he just fingered me for few minutes but we were not sure whether he had precum on his fingers.. Later on being scared to death of pregnancy i took ipill..after 10 to 12 days of ipill i had my periods which lasted for 5 days is der any chance for pregnancy now??? Really really worried m having exam n unable to concerntrate.. Want an advice soon

YOUR NOT PREGNANT There are two reasons I can say this.

1. You has a period 10 to 12 days after taking the ipill which was after you fooled around with your boyfriend. Once you have a period anything that is in your womb is cleaned out. Every 28 days your womb sheds its lining and prepares for a new opportunity to become pregnant. Since an embryo attaches to the lining of your womb if it sheds during a period you are no longer pregnant and you have had a miscarriage if you were pregnant.

2. Sperm only lives for a short time outside the body. If his fingers were dry the chances are any sperm on his fingers were already dead not able to impregnate you.

If you are going to be sexually active like this then be responsible and get protected. IF you are over 14 you can go to any family planning clinic and ask for contraceptive medication and it will be prescribed at little or no cost to you. Just make sure the clinic you chose is not a pro life clinic. As these clinic do not prescribe contraceptives or do abortions.

I'm 20 years old girl but I have a VERY strict mother with some very old fashioned thinking. I bought a corset last year behind her back and she found it today. She went on a rampage and told me what I did is the most shameful thing ever and that she can't believe it. She told me that I lost her confidence in me completely and now she wants to cancel my debit card account. Basically I bought the corset because I really wanted to try one,especially since I heard that it helps with people with bad posture and can alleviate a bit of back pains while wearing it. I bought it with my own money but since I didn't want my mom to know about it, since she opposed on me getting one in the first place, I asked a friend if I can use her address. So now she want to know when and where I got it but I'm already in big trouble as it is. What do I do? How can I gain back her trust?

It is not you who is wrong here but the person being wronged. Mom has to understand that you are no longer a child that you are in the eyes of the law and adult and she has no rights over you. She can no more cancel your debit card then you can cancel hers. She has no right to be on any bank account you have. She may have needed to be on you bank savings or checking account when you were a minor. The day you turned 18 you had every legal right to remove her from them.

Every civilized country in the western world recognizes adult age at 18. In the US you are an adult at 18. For some legal papers you may need a cosigner and for certain loans and rental applications until you build a credit history. Being a cosigner does not give that person any legal rights over you. All a cosigner does is make a pledge to be responsible if you are not.

You are fully responsible for yourself which includes all financial responsibilities, medical, dental and anything else in life. You can ask her for advice but she cannot act in your place without written legal authority to do.

To my mind if anyone needs to gain anyone's trust it is mom needing to gain your trust. Trust that as an adult you have good reason for doing what you did as long as whatever you do is within the realm of being legal.

You had every right to make that purchase. You knew she wouldn't like it and you did your very best not to throw it in her face. That to me was being responsible. The fact that she doesn't like it is a non starter . Whatever your reasons for buying the Corset are your reasons and none of her business. She has to deal with her problem with owning a corset not all are sexual reasons as you pointed out. TO say you have lost her trust is wrong. She should trust that you made the purchase for all the right reasons and let it go at that . Mom owes you an apology.

My advice is simple. Remind mom you are an adult now and allowed to do things as you want or need to do. That you have done nothing that should cause her to lose her trust in you but you have lost your trust in her for not trusting you.

If mom has signature privileges on your banking accounts I would advise you have them removed.

My boyfriend of 3 years and I are 21 years old, he loves going on vacations/holidays and travelling to new places. I, however, cannot stand going on vacation/holiday. I live in a small town in the country in the UK and all my family live in the area. My family are the most important thing to me and I'm perfectly happy where I live. Travelling and going away really stresses me out, I do not find it relaxing, it's often expensive and I do not have a lot of money, I'm saving up for a place of my own. My boyfriend knows this but he's always really pushy about going on holiday.

I've compromised, a few months ago I went to the other end of the UK for a week's holiday but I was so stressed the whole time, all I wanted to do was to come back home. I get really anxious about having a car accident, cities getting bombed and people getting stabbed for example. What if I went away and something happened to us? Or what if something happened to my family back home and I wasn't there? My boyfriend's demanding that we're going on 3 more holidays in the next few months. He gets angry with me when I say I don't want to go and he just keeps saying that I HAVE to go. I compromised by going on that holiday to the other side of the UK and I don't mind going on day trips (but not to huge cities). I've told him that in a few years, when we're older and have more life experience (we're both still living with our parents) that I would consider going away more. But he keeps going on at me to go on holiday now, further and further away each time. Has anybody got any advice on what to do?

It appears you have an unhealthy phobia about leaving a known safe environment. Yes venturing into the unknown can be stressful but it can also be fun. Some things will happen whether your home or not and being home will not prevent them.

Statistically you're more likely to have a car accident within 25 miles of home than if you were on vacation 1,000 miles from home. If something were to happen to a family member it will happen whether you home or not at home. statistics again say whatever happens to a loved one generally happens when you are out shopping, working or just out with friends.

TO fear to travel because these idiots may set off a bomb is a bit justified though it is also allowing them to win a battle one that puts a hardship on those places dependent on tourism.

To be frozen in place is not justifiable and I suggest you talk to someone about it. There is something deep seated within you that has caused this fear. Talking with a clinical psychologist will help you discover what that is and allow you to deal with it in a better way. Traveling and seeing new places is fun and allows you to grow as person and expand your horizons.

Your boyfriend is both wrong and right in trying to force you to travel with him. HE is wrong because you have an unnatural fear that he is not realizing or dealing properly with. He is right because you need to overcome this fear. The proper way to overcome this fear is with the right kind of help.

Talk to you boyfriend make sure he understands that this is not a reluctance but a phobia that you have. Something you need to learn to deal with and are going to get help for. While you are learning to deal with this you need his love and support.

15/F in England

I apply for many places but none of them reply back to me over email. It's getting quite annoying especially since my school doesn't help or do work experience.

Any suggestions?

Thanks for taking the time to read and possibly answer :)

Not living in England I cannot give you a definitive answer. What I believe may be the problem is the same problem a 15 year old faces here in the US. That being your too young to volunteer at the places you're applying to.

Here in the US a student must be at least 16 to work or volunteer in most places and have working papers from their school. Seeing that our laws are based very much on British common law I would think this could be the problem you face.

Then there is the problem of applying by email. Most employers, unless specified, want a future employee or volunteer to apply in person. They want to look you in the eye while talking to you. Looking a person in the eye when talking to them is very important. If you cannot look a person in the eye when talking to them especially in an interview you look evasive and most likely will not be called back for a second interview.

My suggestion: Check the laws in England and see if your old enough to volunteer at the places you are applying. If you are go there and apply in person. Practice in front of a mirror and with mom, dad and siblings to look them in the eye when talking to them.

Other suggestions for interviewing: Put your watch in your purse. There is nothing worse than an interviewee constantly looking at their watch. You have to look as if this interview is the most important place you need to be at that time. Don't fidget.

Dress nice as if you were going to church. A nice skirt or slacks. A blouse or polo shirt, stockings if a skirt is worn and shoes with low heels. Since your 15 just a little eye makeup if any. Remember these are places of business and you need to dress appropriately.

Hey there, to start this question off I think there are a few important things to point out. I am currently a 20 year old girl attending college and a member of a sorority. If you were not or do not know anyone in a sorority, the dynamics of a certain relationship that I discuss (my pledge sister) may not make a lot of sense but I would still love your input if you feel you have some to give!

Okay, so this girl. She is in my pledge class in my sorority which means we were initiated the same year. It is probably safe to say that she was not universally well liked, and made quite a few enemies within the house. I never really got close to her but I always went out of my way to be a little nicer to her just because I hated the way people would often ignore or treat her. Yes, she could be a pretty mean individual but sometimes I think those people need the most kindness in their life. She previously had a relationship with a young man that we will call Henry. They dated for about a month, a year and a half ago. I never met him, because as I said, we weren't really friends. Fast forward to now. I meet this guy one night and we immediately hit it off. Instant chemistry, and we leave the evening with a kiss. I told one of my friends about him and she goes, wait, isn't that (girl mentioned above)'s ex boyfriend? And my heart dropped to my chest. Come to find out the next morning, she had heard about it and while upset, told another girl that she didn't really care. I still felt a little weird about the whole situation and decided not to pursue him.

Well, he decided to pursue me. And for about two weeks we just texted, and I thought, okay no harm there, if anything I will realize that it was just a one time spark and I can move on. But everything about him fascinated me. And I felt myself falling for him. He asked me on a date and I felt every bone in my body screaming to say yes. But I decided to wait until I talked to that girl. When I did she seemed a little ticked, but more or less gave her blessing. Well, after the date, long after the date, she changed her mind. After about two months of Henry and I more or less dating she confronted me telling me I was a horrible sister and a horrible friend. She felt that I was always the person closest to her in our sorority and she couldn't believe I would stab her in the back like that. She claimed, "he was my boyfriend, I loved him, this looks horrible on you" and the more she explained it the more I felt guilty. I didn't know what to do, so I went to talk to Henry.

He told me a bunch of wild things, like how this girl had lied to him about being pregnant so that he wouldn't leave her and eventually admitted that she in fact lying. He said he completely regrets dating her and that in truth, he never even considered her his girlfriend. Now this could be him not telling the whole truth or trying to downplay it. It doesn't really matter because the truth is I hurt this girl, and I am in the wrong.

But I am so falling for him and I feel that I don't truly have an obligation to this girl besides this sorority. I just feel a lot of guilt and even though my friends say "oh its fine" how can I be fine when I'm hurting someone that I took an oath to respect?

What do I do?

From my point of view you have gone above and beyond. The problem is all on her. Your part now is to enjoy your relationship with Henry.

Here is my perspective on this. The salient point is this; "They dated for about a month, a year and a half ago." Eighteen months is a long time long enough that she no longer has any title to him and he is fair game to anyone he meets such as yourself.

A very poor example of what she is telling you is; "you can't buy that dress because I like it but I can't afford it." For whatever reason, which has no point after all this time, they are not a match. You and Henry seem to be a match and you have every right and reason to pursue this relationship with him.

My thoughts on why she changed her mind, she still holds some type of candle for him and sees your relationship going further than hers. If she breaks you two up she can hurt him. Simply put she is looking for revenge on him which she can have by breaking you two up.

Sorority sister or not you owe her noting. Her claim to Henry expired long ago. Enjoy your relationship with Henry and I hope it works out as you hope for.

don't get the wrong idea. I'm not cutting or self-harming in any serious way. I am not putting my life in danger.

I just wonder if this is normal: I use hand sanitizer regularly at work, and when I have a cut or something on my hand, I like the stinging pain that results when hand sanitizer gets in it. Sometimes I use it more when I have a cut, or rub in to the cut especially, just so that I can feel that sting more.

Is this weird/bad? It's not like i'm seriously harming myself...and I certainly don't enjoy stronger pain...but that little sting just makes me happy in a way...

As the saying goes different strokes for different folks. A small amount of pain can make you feel alive. Since there are different types of pain the pain you feel from hand sanitizer may feel good but if someone were to smack you on the butt that pain may hurt and not feel good for it is a different type of pain.

As long as it is not all pain I see no harm in it. As long as you are not cutting yourself so that you can feel the pain of the hand sanitizer I see no harm in it. Pain affects everyone differently. Athletes will exercise until they feel the burn. This tells them they have accomplished their workout and the pain is a signal to them something they strive for. In sex there are pain fetishes.

None of this makes anyone strange as long as the pain is restricted to a singular purpose. The pain you feel that makes you happy in a way may as I said make you feel alive or just may be a form of stress relief. Whatever it does for you as long as you are not doing anything to cause the pain I'd say your normal and not to worry.

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