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Asexuality?? Or??
Hello there! So I've been questioning my sexuality for quite a while now, and I just can't find anything online that fits. The closest is asexual, but I don't know??? I should first mention that I am female. I do in fact experience sexual attraction, although I don't desire it AT ALL. I would however, love a romantic relationship. I'm so confused honestly. I went from thinking I was straight, to poly, to pan, to bi, to aro, to ace. Can you experience sexual attraction and still be asexual? I'm sexually attracted to all genders, hence the reason for thinking I was pansexual. Romantically, I'm attracted to all but females. But I do not want sex. I find it stupid and unappealing. I don't even know what to think anymore?? I've never been in a relationship also. Could you please help me organize my thoughts and figure this out? It's been a mystery for months bleh
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Hi dear. I cant say I have any answers for you but there is an article based on a book coming up about asexuality from the authors experiences. You might want to read it as she mentions a term called graysexual, besides asexual. Here is that link: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If you decide you don't fit either label and nothing else seems to fit, then perhaps you are a version of sexual preferance that has not yet been termed or studied yet.
I am hetero-sexual myself but I can say that tho there are women I might find very attractive, it is not sexual attraction. Its not a fear of it. I once tried sex with a mature woman and though we both were successful at making each other have an orgasm, it was just the mechanics of sex, going through the motions, getting results but not feeling any level of emotional or spiritual/energy attachment as I do with men. I have known a few bi women and from their varied stories, some thought they were gay until they met the one and only male that they could feel attraction to and enjoy sex with. Otherwise she didn't like men at all.
I do find it interesting that you say there is sexual attraction but no desire in sex. If you say it is so, I believe you. There are many strange things in this world I haven't yet heard of. I don't know your age, but I can tell you that in my first marriage, married at age 20, I found that tho I might have initially felt some attraction, it was more something called new relationship energy which can mimic real attraction and desire but fizzles out quickly, just like the toy you desired as a kid for Christmas and once you got it, after a couple days or weeks you totally lost interest in it. That happens to countless people. I was also sexually mismatched with the ex. Low libido for him, high for me, and neither of us could inspire sexual desire in each other. I loved the idea of romance, could feel sexual desire if I saw other men who caught my eye, but in general felt sex was all hyped up to be so special like in movies and romance stories and that sex wasn't interesting at all. My issue at that young age, was that I had not yet had any real good sexual experience with a really good match for a sex partner. It wasn't until after a divorce that I started dating and trying sex with other guys that I realized what I had been missing. But at this point I was in my mid forties before I met guys who could give me multiple orgasms and really satisfy me sexually. I do not know if this might be the case for you, that every experience has been totally unsatisfying. For every person out there, there are just as many different sexual experiences or lack of them or misconceptions. Most my exploring I didn't do until my forties. What I knew when younger was very little. If you want just romance but no sex, I have read that some asexuals are like that. But to find someone like that to be in relationship with is going to be harder than finding someone who is gay or bisexual. there are LGBT dating sites. You might check them out and if free, post something on there asking if anyone on there is asexual. It may be the only way to get what you are after. Good luck
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Hey .
honestly I think that you might be bi.
have you ever done it with a girl ? you might be thinking that ewww a girl and a girl that's gay. lol, or you might be too worried about what your family might think or say or what your friends might say? girl if your confused theres only one way that you will find out and that's by trying it with a girl. YOU SHOULD NOT CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL SAY OR THINK YOU KNOW WHAT ITS YOUR LIFE NOT THEIRS DOO WHAT MAKES YOUU HAAAAAPY BECUZ LIFES TOO SHORT :P
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According to a previous post your 13 years of age. At this age you are actually quite normal. Being confused about your sexuality goes along with puberty and the new hormones. Not wanting sex is also normal for someone your age.
What I don't understand, and it is not just you. Is this rush young people have to day to hang a label on themselves. This is a wonderful time in your life. You're no longer a child but a young adult. This is truly a time of discovery to find out just who you are and what you will be not just sexually but as an adult. TO my mind hanging a label on yourself now just inhibits your ability to learn about yourself and grow.
My advice: Relax enjoy being a teenager and forget about labels. Your sexuality will let itself be known at the right time when it is the right time for you. Do not let others tell you what your sexuality is either for they will be wrong.
Right now you are exactly what you should be at your point in life. This is the time to enjoy other people and discover yourself while doing so. Be open to new ideas. The one thing you are not is lesbian. aro and Ace are new terms to me and I'm rather certain your neither of these either.
As for Poly an Pan you may find your Pan after you have experienced more of your sexuality and grown more both in age and maturity. It is way too soon to call yourself Pansexual. As for Poly. poly is short for polyamory which is a lifestyle which means married and dating/ You're not married so this term cannot fit you until you are and then only if you and your significant other decide to join this lifestyle.
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