That sounds a heck of a lot like what I've got, and I have anxiety disorder. But there is a silver lining to every cloud.

First off, it's a fairly common disorder, and easy to treat with either counselling, medication or a combination of both. You will want to see a psychological professional as opposed to a family doctor, because they'll be able to better work with you to determine what you need to get you where you should be.

Secondly, you may be able to get some help with school. I found out that the disability services department of my college has programs in place for people who have been officially diagnosed with anxiety. Now I get excused from classes without penalty, I get extensions on assignment deadlines, and I get to write my exams in a separate room, with extra time to write them in.

Your doctor won't think you're stupid, and your parents don't know what you're dealing with. People who don't have anxiety or know it well tend to think of it as being overly dramatic, but that's not true. You have every right to live worry-free!

One thing to do is to get plenty of exercise and rest, and try to take some time each day to relax. Eat well-balanced meals, and just take good care of yourself in general.

Have you ever heard the term "bros before hoes"? It goes for girls, too.

Is she really your best friend? Because I could never try to win over my friend's boyfriend, and would put him in his place if he tried flirting with me.

Really, the honourable thing to do would be to tell him next time he does something like that that you don't have a boyfriend, but he does have a girlfriend, and she's your best friend.

Even if he breaks up with her, you probably shouldn't date him, at least not for quite a while. These sorts of things are touchy.

Boys will come and go, but your friends (especially your besties) are forever! Don't ruin a friendship (or maybe more, because you could lose other friends if you do this) for dating some guy.

There's no way to lose weight quickly and keep it off.

You need to keep your calorie intake at above 1200 calories (for a girl) or else you'll end up starving yourself. If you exercise, make sure to eat more, or you'll end up in starvation mode.

Cut out sodas except for the occasional treat, try not to eat empty calories like sweets and simple carbohydrates. Try to eat lean proteins, tons of vegetables and at least 30 grams of fibre a day.

Avoid pre-packaged foods, because they've got tons of salt in them. Drink tons of water, but no fruit juices.

You can healthily lose about 1-2 pounds a week. Thing is, if you do any crash diets that may make you lose fast, you'll gain it all back and then some the moment you go off your diet.

I don't know of any books you can download, but Googling "titration" brought up a bunch of great sites.

http://www.mpcfaculty.net/mark_bishop/titration.htm

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~chemlab/techniques/titration.html

and tons more. Good luck :)

It's a lot easier if you have a clitoral orgasm first. That way your lady parts are already revved up and ready to go. You'll be more sensitive if you've already orgasmed once.

What kind of motion are you using? You shouldn't have to do much moving of your arm. If you do a motion with your fingers like when you tell someone to come over (hook your fingers and curve them towards you and back).

The other thing is that the gland tends to move around a bit, so you have to chase it down. Once you feel like you need to pee, start to kind of push.

She can't and won't lose weight just because you want her to. I've tried it before, and it doesn't work. The only way she will lose weight and keep it off is if she's doing it for herself.

Try talking to her. Be blunt, but not nasty. Let her know that you're worried about her health because she's gained some weight. Ask her if she's happy with where she is, and what you can do to help her.

If she is happy at her current weight then you're just going to have to either swallow your opinions or break up with her. It's her body, and you don't have the right to make her feel bad about it. However, if she's not happy at her current weight but isn't trying to lose, there could be other problems. She could be depressed, she could have an eating disorder (they don't make everyone skinny). Whatever it is, she should see a doctor, because if she's legitimately eating less she should be losing.

You've got to stop pushing her to do more, because her instinct will be to push back. Also, keep in mind that what you do might be too intense for her. For instance, I can't do much more than walk right now because I'm seriously overweight, even though I'm trying to lose. My fiance kept trying to get me to go jogging, go to the gym, etc, and I hated it because it made me miserable and actually physically hurt me. Even his walking pace was too much for me in the beginning. I spent the entire time huffing and puffing and trying to catch up to him... not fun!

You need to find something that she enjoys. If she can't do any more than just walk for 15 minutes right now, do that with her. You can work it up to little hikes, longer walks, and once she starts losing more she'll find other, more strenuous activities more appealing. Nothing is worse than running or jogging when you're an overweight female - jiggling is both painful and humiliating.

Right now, I'm on a plan where I eat fewer calories, cook healthy meals and walk for about an hour and a half a day. The most important part of it, though, is that my fiance is right there with me. He doesn't sit there and eat cheeseburgers in front of me while I eat a salad. He's not jogging while I walk. You may need to make sacrifices to your own routine and lifestyle to keep in step with hers.

One little change she can make that will work wonders is to look at what she's drinking. Cutting out pop (diet and regular), juice and alcohol can make an enormous difference. Drinking lots of water helps you to lose water weight.

First things first; I don't know where dearcandore got their stats from, but last I checked, 50% of marriages don't end in divorce.

The real stats:

"Divorce is more likely when women marry at a younger age (48% of brides married before age 18 divorce in 10 years, compared to 24% married at age 25 or later), have a lower level of education, come from a single-parent home (12% more likely), were raped (same for all three ethnic groups), suffer from GAD, had a child before marriage or within 7 months of the marriage, and cohabitated before marriage (18% for non-cohabitators versus 24% for cohabitators)"

from the Centre for Disease Control

You are an adult, so you are capable of doing whatever you want in this case. Yes, your parents may be driving you nuts, and that's a normal thing around this age. You're getting to a point where you want to be independent, and they still view you as their little girl. It's a natural progression of life and it happens to some earlier than others. Being "too young" isn't a good reason to avoid living together.

The one big concern is that you will share liability. What if you guys break up? It's not something you should plan on, but it is something you should keep in the very back of your mind. Could you handle the expenses of an apartment by yourself if he ditches you? Cohabiting will tie you down big-time, but it can also be very rewarding.

Another thing to think about is your financial situation. Can you both afford to live away from home? Are you planning on going to college? Can you pay for it without your parents' support? If you're depending on your parents right now for financial support, then you're not ready to move out. You should have some savings handy in case things don't go quite as planned right off the bat.

If you feel like you two are in it for the long haul, there's nothing wrong with optimism. I was living with my boyfriend within months of starting to date (I know, it sounds crazy) and we now own a house together and are engaged, 4 years later.

I know the stats say that divorce is more common amongst people who cohabit before marriage, but you have to consider the contributing factors. Most people who don't live together before getting married are extremely religious, and may avoid getting divorced for religious reasons.

Just have the financial bits straightened out beforehand. Know how much it will cost you to rent, pay for food, entertainment, transportation and medical expenses. Don't live on credit, and you'll be fine.

No, you're not being selfish by wanting to move out. However, you're maybe thinking about it for the wrong reasons.

You shouldn't be moving out because of lack of privacy. That would be selfish. Losing privacy is a small price to pay for helping out a family member in trouble.

However, your mom is being a leach at a time when she should be either helping you to get out on your own or encouraging you to do so. She should not be putting a drain on your finances.

Your mother is an adult. She will have to find her own way to make it. I have bipolar disorder and somehow manage to hold down jobs, go to school and pay the bills. She won't get treatment unless she has to, and you moving out might be the best thing for her.

Just because you're not 14 doesn't mean you're not being irresponsible. If you cannot afford birth control then you most certainly cannot afford a child.

Birth control can be obtained for as little as $10 a month from either Planned Parenthood or your college. That's much cheaper than raising an unwanted child, or hospital bills during pregnancy, or an emergency abortion.

Other than using the rhythm method (where you try to time sex to sync up with your menstrual cycle - it's not a very effective form) or pulling out, there is nothing you can really do to cut down your chances of getting pregnant if you're not using any contraceptives.

I've got a few great time-devouring hobbies:

- I crochet like crazy. Everyone I know now has a scarf to wear, and I'm working on mastering crocheting with wire to make jewelry.

- Walking and hiking are fantastic. I got a pedometer game for my DS and I've become obsessed with exceeding my goals!

- This one probably won't appeal to you, but I like to pull apart electronics and build simple circuits in my spare time. This isn't so much a suggestion for a thing to do so much as a suggestion to look at what you enjoy (or enjoyed) most in your academic life and draw from that to find a hobby.

You would be labelled bi-curious if you chose to be labelled, because you haven't actually had sex with a woman and decided you enjoy it but you like the idea of it.

It's not necessarily that you wouldn't be attracted to a girl enough to have a relationship. You may just be extraordinarily picky when it comes to girls. I know I've only met 1 girl I would date, but I've dated a lot more guys.

There are two separate issues here.

Number one: the touching. You should not be scared to tell him to keep his hands off you. If you're not comfortable, you need to tell him to slow down. Guys can be a little thick when it comes to subtle social cues... sometimes you just need to smack them in the face with reality. Next time, tell him that you're not comfortable with where his hands are, and give him definite boundaries. If he wanders again, give him what for.

Second issue: the erection. You ARE overreacting here. The poor guy's 15 years old. You know what gives 15 year old guys erections? EVERYTHING EXCEPT THEIR GRANDMOTHER. You have to cut him some slack. It's even more involuntary as burping, because at least you can hold those in. Yes, it was caused by him touching you this time, but he could also get them in math class for no apparent reason. So it's not necessarily sexual in nature, and it doesn't mean he's a predator. It means he's 15 years old and overrun with hormones.

So don't do anything you're not comfortable with, and don't worry about body parts with a life of their own. :)

Your overall stress level is too high, which is keeping you from dealing with problems, which causes more stress. You could be having panic attacks, which would explain the breathing and shutting down issues. The same thing happened with me, and I basically had to hit the reset button.

Your main goal right now should be to de-stress yourself. Try picking up yoga, or working out, or walking, or anything that relaxes you. Put on some music and shut out the world for a bit. Make sure you do it once a day for an hour or so. It will refresh you and give you time to start sorting out your thoughts.

Then you can start dealing with your problems, one at a time. Don't do anything too drastic, but try making positive baby steps towards improving your situation. For instance, if there's one girl at school giving you trouble, try avoiding her. Or if your parents are on your back about school, try making an effort to get your homework done every day. It might not fix everything, but it's a step in the right direction. Little changes will add up eventually.

Whenever you're feeling overwhelmed, get away from the situation for 5 minutes. Relax, and try to clear your mind. Focus on something meaningless (I like to imagine an orange and think of every single detail of it, or try to remember how many digits of pi I have memorized) and regulate your breathing. Then you'll be able to return to what you were doing.

Keep a close eye on her. If she's fainty, dizzy, lethargic, or just plain looking way too skinny, you need to talk to an adult. Tell a guidance counsellor at your school, or her parents.

There are times when in order to save a friendship, you have to endanger it. Sure, she might be mad if you get her thrown into rehab, but it's better to have an angry friend than a dying friend.

_______________________________________________

Your friend's issue is not physical, it's psychological. She may be able to get through things on her own, but chances are that she'll need help from a skilled professional with experience in the area. It's just like treating any eating disorder - you need both mental and physiological care to get through it.

Then again, that decision has to be made by her family. If you notice things getting bad for her, let them know that she's told you she's not eating and that you're really concerned about her health. They'll be able to take it from there. You can definitely offer a helping hand and support throughout her recovery!

I've been in the 'hated sister-in-law' position before, so I can see where she might be coming from.

They were in the glow of a new relationship. That wonderful time when you want to spend every breathin g moment with the other person. People do horrible, rude things to their friends when they're stupidly head over heels for someone else. I'm sure this isn't the first time a girl has gone distant once she gets a new boyfriend - this is just the first time it's involved family.

3 years of hating each other? Of course she's still going to be resentful! My fiance's brother hated me for about a year after we started dating, and it was awful. I still resent the way I was treated, and that was 3 years ago. You bore a grudge for way too long, and she's not going to snap out of it right away! It could a while yet for her to really forgive you.

Just keep being nice. Try not to start confrontations. If an argument does arise, back out. It'll be tough, but she needs to see that you're really reformed.

I've done South Beach, and it's great short-term, especially Phase 1. I like to go on the first phase as a sort of cleanse, but I find that the diet on the whole isn't that sustainable.

Stick it out for the rest of the week and the crankiness should go away. Then you can add in some complex carbs (still stay away from refined sugars) and fruits. You'll probably feel a lot better and be more likely to stick with it.

You've got a whole heck of a lot of starches, and little to no protein or vegetables.

Are you a vegetarian? If you are, you can get tons of protein from beans, legumes and nuts. If not, you can also get a ton of lean protein from egg whites and fish.

You also really need to add vegetables. How about adding sauteed peppers to wraps? Or dipping broccoli in low-fat dressing for a snack? I love to put spinach in things like spaghetti sauce; you don't even notice that it's there, but it adds so much healthy food.

If you're looking to plan meals, check out myfitnesspal.com. They're fantastic for recording calorie intake, plus there's an exercise record and a wonderful support forum.

As for the binge eating, the best way to eliminate it is to plan 5 small meals a day, rather than 3 big ones. Don't eat between meals, and don't eat after your last meal. If you get snackish, drink a big glass of water, and it'll pass.

________________________________

I just realized I forgot one of my favourites! If you have access to a grill, that's the best way to do vegetables. Red peppers, portabello mushrooms, and zucchini all work out really well on a barbecue. Just brush them with olive oil first.

As someone who has attempted suicide a couple of times and is just getting out of all that mess, I can tell you there's a whole lot to live for.

Everything in life is so amazing. The trees blooming in spring, the way my boyfriend looks when he's sleeping, reading a good book, even the tiny silly things like red gummi bears! In fact, whenever I'm having doubts, I go to 1000awesomethings.com to find some inspiration. Those are the things that make life worth living.


I do the things I do every day because I only do things I enjoy. Sure, I go to school, but I chose a subject that I'm passionate about (electrical engineering) so that I like doing homework and sitting through classes. Heck, I even pull apart electronics at home. I cook because I love to eat. I clean because I love the smell of a nice clean house. I walk the dog because nothing's better for the soul than a happy dog tail! When I work, even if it's a lame job, I find something to love about it, whether it's the location, my co-workers, the experience I'm getting or what I'm doing.

I'm an atheist, and I don't believe in life after death. I think that this is our one shot, and the only way to achieve anything resembling immortality is to impact the lives of others. My goal is to touch as many peoples' lives as I can in a positive way.

The problem that you would have is the difference between the two subjects.

Engineering tends to be more class and lab based - you spend about 40 hours a week in classes. Social sciences, like Psychology, are mostly reading and essay based, so a major would usually have about 15 hours of class weekly. Thing is, they have fewer classes because of the massive amounts of reading to do.

You won't get any allowances as a double major. You'll be expected to do the 20 hours of reading a week that comes with psychology, and the 30-40 hours of class work that comes with engineering.

If you were to minor in psych, then you might find it more manageable, since most engineering programs offer electives.

Don't be embarrassed at all. Every woman is totally different. Some women are even worried that theirs is too big!

You may not feel anything at all. Personally, when I cross my legs I don't feel anything special or good, and not when I'm cleaning, either. So that would make me weird too :P

It might just be little, or be well-hidden, but don't worry... you'll find it eventually :)

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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