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Two 18 year olds moving in together. Ridiculous or not?
18/f
with 18/m
How ridiculous is it for two 18, almost 19 year olds to move in together in our own apartment? We've been dating for a year and a half. I have problems with my parents but they seem to think there's nothing wrong but its bothered me enough that it stresses me out when I'm living there, so I spend 90% of my time at my boyfriend's house. Anyway, he wants to move in together but I feel like my parents would flip...I KNOW they would flip out. I was just wondering from an outside point of view, do I have a valid argument or is moving in with a teenage boyfriend completely ridiculous?
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hi im 17/f and my boyfriend of two years is the same age and we were talking about the same thing hes moving maybe right after senior year and he wants me to go with him to live with his parents for a little while just for two years. well the thing is i already want to go to a two year college so it doesnt matter to me. so i asked my mom what she thought and she said well dont you want to live on your own and think that you can support yourself and what not and if you guys move intogether we will get pregnant. now i understand but if i live with him and his parents it would be the same as living with my mom but id be paying for my own stuff minus food. no big deal. point is that seeing my story maybe helps your own. yes im still young and im just thinking right now. my mom also said that living with someone is a whole different level money will split you apart or something. it comes down to you and how you feel. why would your parents flip? your legal to do anything you want and your almost 19 well i think you can if you truly want to but just keep in mind what my mom said to me. do whts right for you. what makes you happy!.
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I wouldn't say it's the best idea. I mean I'm 17 (18 in 2 months) and I can imagine living with my boyfriend. When I first saw your question, I was like "yeah go for it, sounds fun!" but then when I really thought about it, I was like no I couldn't do that. First of all, if you did move out.. How responsible are you? I mean can you handle paying bills, buying groceries, etc. Personally, I couldn't haha. I mean I'm responsible.. But not that responsible. My one friend and her best friend got an apartment together and they forgot to buy so many little things like kitchenware and toiletries. Also, moving out isn't going to bring you and your family closer together.. I don't know how much importance that is to you, but something to consider.
Also, what are your plans for your future? Or what are you doing now? Are you in college? Do you plan to go to
college? Do you and your boyfriend both have steady decent paying jobs?
If your not in college, and you plan on it.. I strongly don't reccommend moving out. College is so expensive and living at home would allow you to save up some money.
If your not in college, what kind of jobs do you guys have? I mean if your working at mcdonalds or minimum wage.. I dint think moving out is in your best interest.
I think the people below me covered everything else.
But yeah, these are questions you should ask yourself, and i mean if you are very wealthy & don't care about your relationship with your family, then I would consider moving out!
Hope everything works out:)
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First things first; I don't know where dearcandore got their stats from, but last I checked, 50% of marriages don't end in divorce.
The real stats:
"Divorce is more likely when women marry at a younger age (48% of brides married before age 18 divorce in 10 years, compared to 24% married at age 25 or later), have a lower level of education, come from a single-parent home (12% more likely), were raped (same for all three ethnic groups), suffer from GAD, had a child before marriage or within 7 months of the marriage, and cohabitated before marriage (18% for non-cohabitators versus 24% for cohabitators)"
from the Centre for Disease Control
You are an adult, so you are capable of doing whatever you want in this case. Yes, your parents may be driving you nuts, and that's a normal thing around this age. You're getting to a point where you want to be independent, and they still view you as their little girl. It's a natural progression of life and it happens to some earlier than others. Being "too young" isn't a good reason to avoid living together.
The one big concern is that you will share liability. What if you guys break up? It's not something you should plan on, but it is something you should keep in the very back of your mind. Could you handle the expenses of an apartment by yourself if he ditches you? Cohabiting will tie you down big-time, but it can also be very rewarding.
Another thing to think about is your financial situation. Can you both afford to live away from home? Are you planning on going to college? Can you pay for it without your parents' support? If you're depending on your parents right now for financial support, then you're not ready to move out. You should have some savings handy in case things don't go quite as planned right off the bat.
If you feel like you two are in it for the long haul, there's nothing wrong with optimism. I was living with my boyfriend within months of starting to date (I know, it sounds crazy) and we now own a house together and are engaged, 4 years later.
I know the stats say that divorce is more common amongst people who cohabit before marriage, but you have to consider the contributing factors. Most people who don't live together before getting married are extremely religious, and may avoid getting divorced for religious reasons.
Just have the financial bits straightened out beforehand. Know how much it will cost you to rent, pay for food, entertainment, transportation and medical expenses. Don't live on credit, and you'll be fine.
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Moving out to avoid your folks is a bad idea, In the end your parents are actually the people to help you out the most and believe me I speak from experience. Getting a place with someone is a commitment it's not something that you just go and do because you think it would be "fun" it is one of those things that need to be thoroughly thought about. Once you and your boyfriend get a place together you two will have bills to pay, food to bring in the house hold and a bunch more other things to worry about. It is not all about fun and games, In fact moving out was probably one of the most stressful things I had ever had to deal with. Apartments are NOT cheap, and the fun you have now would probably be cut in half once you are out on your own. The day you sign a lease is the day you have responsibility. This is a decision that is to be thought out wisely.
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Do not move into your boyfriends house to escape your parents.
It's a terrible, terrible idea.
Living with someone equally, fully sharing space, and the compromises and fights it brings is disruptive. I would encourage you instead to find a same sex friend who wants to live on her own, and get a room mate. Then you can move some of your stuff to your boyfriend's place, your room mate will love you because you'll be gone all the time, and when you and your boyfriend fight you can go home and bitch to a friend.
It's not impossible. This is the very reason my wife and I moved in together.
But we broke up after five months, and then got back together. If we hadn't moved in together when we did for the reasons we did, we never would have broken up.
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I wouldn't call it ridiculous. Its not a good idea though. Living together is a MAJOR thing, and its going to change EVERYTHING. E-V-E-R-Y thing! You may have problems with your parents but you need to decide if they are bad enough to risk your relationship with your boyfriend. And yes, moving in together at this age will be a risk. The statistics for couples who live together are dismal. While the national average for divorce is about 50%, the average for divorce among people who lived together first is almost 80%. Not that you're planning on getting married anytime soon, but its something to keep in mind. To me it speaks to the fact that there's something dishonest about the idea that living together is always the next logical step in a relationship. Its hard to define, but things just change and living with another person brings stresses that you never thought you'd have. I'm not condemning you for thinking about it,I'm just saying you must think long and hard about it, and weigh the pros and cons, and you must be willing to accept the consequences of your decisions. If you do decide to move in, be sure you have the ability to pay rent for yourself, should anything happen. YOu can't just depend on him. I'm sure he's a nice guy but things happen and as a young woman you must be prepared and independent. Try to talk to your parents about this. Approach them calmly, in a time of peace, a time when you're not fighting or anything, just a regular time and lay out your issues and desires in a calm and rational manner. Write it down if it helps. It may sound lame, but it really does help to organize your thoughts, and it may even help them to see that you have thought about this seriously and you genuinely want to do the right thing. Good luck. Whatever decision you make will be your own, so OWN it!
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