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Just here to help

I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful


My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.

I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.

I answer anything of the following only;

Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos

NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.

- Lucy

Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 12351

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Okay, so I'm desperate for someone's opinion right now. I recently, on July 12, had sexual contact with someone who I really shouldn't have. If I were to get pregnant, the world might explode and my partner and I would be exiled from our families.

So, here's what happened: we did everything, except we did not have sex. However, there was a point where he was on top of me and (I was wearing yoga pants and underwear,) but he pushed himself right into my vagina. I mean, he didn't go inside me, but he was pretty close to it. He might have a little bit, but not much at all. He was attempting to grind into me since we couldn't actually have sex. (He had no condom with him.) And when this happened, it freaked me out a little, so after like thirty seconds or so, I changed positions with him so that he was not doing that. To be honest, I didn't think much of it at all, until now, July 23. About two nights ago, I got a major head ache and some side cramps. The next day, today, I had intense side pains and just a little bit of a head ache when I woke up in the morning. My back hurt really bad, so I took an Aleve. It seemed to somewhat work. Later tonight, I had very minor side pains and lower abdomenal cramps. However, about two or three hours ago, I noticed my body temperature felt hot, but I was cold. I took my temp and got a response of 100. So I definitely had a fever. I haven't taken anything for it. I typed my symptoms into google and got "early pregnancy symptoms." So, of course, I began freaking out and remembered that night where I had sexual contact.

Basically, what I am asking is, do you think I am pregnant. Remember, I was wearing yoga pants.
Should I buy a pregnancy test, or am I freaking out for nothing. Please, please help me. Because if I am pregnant, some serious shit could go down and everyone's lives will be fucked up.

I'm sorry if I sound stupid. I just need someone to calm me down. Just don't lie to me. I'm hoping I am just catching a virus or something.

Thank you in advance! (link)

Because you were wearing pants you should be just fine, Sperm doesn't go through clothing. :)

Were you expecting your period to come soon? It could of been that, Those are all signs. You could of just had a virus also but pregnancy is unlikely.

How do you download your music? I've always bought everything on iTunes, but honestly I'm not a huge fan of spending hundreds on music. What sites do you recommend for downloading free music? I don't mind spam email, but I don't want to have to respond to offers in order to get the music. (link)

Don't use Limewire, Don't use Frostwire they are all loaded with viruses as the program is free for a reason...

You could try Bit Torrent, It's not bad but again...Where there is free music...There is always a virus so be careful.

i am a virgin point blank and i plan to stay that way for a long time. the other day some guy really wanted to have sex with me but i refused. he ended up managing to get all my clothes off but still nothing happened. i guess he was mad abd i was just uncomfortably laying next to him... he statred jerking off and his *** splattered everywhere. i remember it hitting my arm and thy but idk if it splattered on my...or where else. immediatdaly got up wiped it off. got dressed a and nd left... im a very paranoid person and need to know... do u think im pregnant??? (link)

No, Very unlikely.

Hello, I'm a new user and I've been looking through questions and getting a feel for things. Well, I stumbled upon a younger woman asking for advice. You answered her, but gave absolutely no help to her. I find that completely rude and ignorant considering what you wrote and the fact that your advice column says " NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.

- Lucy"

Yes, you were brutally honest with your opinion, OhMyLucyDarling, but in no way did you give advice. And obviously you did intend to offend the woman ( contrary to your NOTE) and put her down rather than giving her constructive criticism.

I think that maybe you should read the others who wrote, because they are all using the website better than you. They are giving help based on the person rather than trying to add more grief and guilt to the problem.

To jog your memory on what question this was, here you go:

I'm a 21 year-old mother of a three year-old and a one year-old. My 3 year old has a problem following orders and as much as we punish her and hit her, I'm ashamed to say, she still won't listen. She has no hearing problems she's just disobedient. I don't want her to feel left out cause of her brother and I defenately don want to continue hitting her but I will not allow her to have her way with everything. My husband and I fight about this so much and I need to know what can I do to solve this problem. Please help???!!!

Thank you for your time and I hope you have learned something. I would more than appreciate a reply.


If she didn't want to hear it, She shouldn't of posted it. That simple

Any futher inbox messages from you will be deleted

He cuts me down and treats me like a little kid. Nothing I do is right. He play fights with me in front of his friends but is super rough almost like he enjoys hurting me. When he does that and yell me if I cry he'll just call me a baby.I'm not super annoying either, I try to help him in school so he wont fail and all he does is want to copy my work and he talks about other girls around me. He started doing this when we got in the tenth grade. Idk what to think? (link)

Your boyfriend is an ass. Dump him, Cut contact, Keep it that way and move on. You deserve better what he is doing is using you and it's wrong.

Our family was staying overnight at friends, and we all just crashed in the livingroom. I ended up between my teen daughter and son. During the night she kept really snuggling up to me and holding me tight. I would push her away and turn her around, and then she took my hand and placed it on her boob. I pull my arm away, and put it out far. This kept happening over and over. At one point I awoke to feel her body quivering and she is rubbing her legs together on me/beside me, and she had put my hand on her boob again. I pushed her legs away from me to get her to stop and placed her hands on her belly. I got up and went outside, had a smoke to try and figure out wtf was happening. Came back in and fell asleep for couple of hours on the floor with my son. after we were all up, and finished eating she was jumping on me, in my lap, ticckling and clinging to me. Calmed her down, and she sat on my legs. She placed her hand under my nose, and asked me to smell. It was sex smell. I said "what is that?", " nothing" she says. (link)

Your daughter needs therapy, She needs it now.

You and your wife need to sit her down and discuss as a family that this behaviour is NOT okay. It is very innapropriate and unacceptable.

You need to step up to the plate and talk to her

I gave my boyfriend head for the first time almost 3 weeks ago and every single time we get together he wants me to do it again. He will whine and beg and even do the pout face about it and make me feel really guilty. We haven't had sex yet but this is really bugging me. How do I just tell him no but that I do love him or that I want to hang out without doing this to him every time? I just want a real relationship and not be used for sex. I wish I never did this! :( (link)

Your boyfriend just prooved to you that all he wants is sex. You need to move on

A guy that cares about committment doesn't put their girlfriends in guilt, As nobody likes to be pigeon holed into doing something. If you want a real relationship with committment and romance you need to dump him and move on.

I am from Malaysia. Married with 4 kids. Age 40. Husband 47. I caught my husband 6 months after he was having an emotional relationship with one of his chat-mates. That person sent her photos which seems to be a mexican actress photos(not her real photos because i found out that she was from BENIN, west africa).I read some of her mail to my husband. I was extremely hurt and angry and i comfronted my husband. He appologised and told me that it was ended dec 2009.I have no choice but to accept but still hurt and couldnt forget what he had done.After that I secretly traced his working on the internet and found out that he already deleted all of the downloded site which link to the DATINGs site. I checked his mail and so far there are no suspicious email.The problem is he always goes outstation and i wont know whether he is faithful to me or not. Question is what should I do. Can I trust him. Pls advice.

Rgds (link)

Would I trust him?..No

Your husband has disrespected you, Betrayed you and lied to you. Your husband had cheated on you, In my opinion you do not need to have sexual contact with someone to consider it cheating.

I don't know how it is in Malaysia, but you have marriage couselor I recommend going. If he is not willing to listen to you and work things out, Then I would say I think it's time for a divorce. Me? I would call it quits...I don't give people second chances expecially it if were my husband on dating sites...:/

My husband and I have been married for going on 3 yrs. We have 2 toddlers and a wonderful loving relationship. In Feb my husband began going through "issues" he didn't know if he was happy in our relationship. I let him go and he stayed with his mother for a week or two. He eventually came back to me, claiming he didnt know what he was thinking all the while talking about how much he hated staying with his family. Since this incident we have been fine. We have always been fine even during the split. This lowered my confidence of myself. Since this issue we have no romance. He tells me he loves me when getting of the phone or leaving. There is no romance. I have been trying really hard... doing new things to spice it up and still no response. I crave the attention... I feel alone and I don't feel like he wants to be in the relationship anymore, but he doesnt want to end up at his moms again. I don't know if he will ever admit to wanting somehting different. I just don't know what to do. (link)

As I do not know the relationship between you and your husband but I would say you two need to sit down and talk about your marriage. If he is willing to work it out, Then that shows you he cares enough to put the effort into making it work. However, If he doesn't seem to budge then as I hate to suggest you might want to think about marriage conseling..If he still doesn't budge then it might be time to think things over. It could be stress, depression...Or simply falling out of love.

My mom came to a school dance of mine that happened a few weeks ago. I was having fun on the dance floor and I do admit to grinding with a couple of guys and my best friend (who is a girl). My mom saw this though and was really mad at me when we left. It's like she can't stop talking about it and she keeps going on and on about it not being "acceptable" for school dances. She is considering talking to the principal about it and that is totally going to ruin my reputation and I KNOW I'm going to be made fun of because of my mom. EVERYBODY I know grinds. I am just wondering what other people think about grinding at school dances. (link)

I personally think grinding at school dances or in public for this matter is innapropriate. Actions speak louder than words, In schools and around other teenagers/kids they speak even louder because we are under the influence of peer pressure and as many of you like to call it your "repuation". I am in my mid 20's I believe "grinding" gives off a wrong impression. Unless you are drunk, There really is no exception for griding being appropriate or tolorated. Also, Grinding is NOT dancing. I think it's more disgusting and it oftens goes too far.

I was at a party about a week ago and we were drinking. It was a fun time and there was this guy that was flirting with me all night. He asked me if I wanted to hookup and I said yes.

We ended up having sex that night. I didn't say no or anything but I WAS DRUNK. He had been drinking too but I don't think he was as drunk as I was.

Is this considered rape? I mean, I was drunk so I wasn't in my sound mind or whatever...

16/f (link)

If you agreed to sex, Then no you weren't raped unless if the guy was over the age of 18, Then it can be statory rape.

My boyfriend and I have been having sex for the past week. I let him cum inside me every time because of something he told me before. I mentioned this to my friend and she told me that he lied.

If you pee right after you have sex can you still get pregnant? My boyfriend told me that a girl who pees directly after intercourse can NOT get pregnant no matter what because everything is released into the toilet then and is like washed away. It sounded very convincing when he said it but when I was telling my friend it kind of sounded like he was just using me and that I'm stupid. What's the truth? (link)

Your boyfriend is a liar, Your friend is the one who is truthful.

if i gave my boyfriend a hand job and he got sperm on his hand and then fingered me could i get pregnant? (link)

Yes it's possible but highly unlikely.

I'm a 21 year-old mother of a three year-old and a one year-old. My 3 year old has a problem following orders and as much as we punish her and hit her, I'm ashamed to say, she still won't listen. She has no hearing problems she's just disobedient. I don't want her to feel left out cause of her brother and I defenately don want to continue hitting her but I will not allow her to have her way with everything. My husband and I fight about this so much and I need to know what can I do to solve this problem. Please help???!!! (link)

Beautiful, Another parent that hits their children...for christ sake

i have a new guy ive been dating for about two months but he plays games like the im not interested game but when questioned explains hes all about the other night when my guy stood me up(which he later explained his fone died) i ue met with a new guy and had a one night stand i really enjoyed the experience but i feel bad do i explain to my man what happened or let it go and part of me wants to continue having sex with new guy idk wht to do please help me? (link)

Despite the relationship status, Or how the relationship is going. You need to dump him, Not lead him on. If you found someone new then do the right thing by leaving your current relationship. How would you feel if someone cheated on you?..THINK ABOUT THAT ONE. It's wrong, At least be mature enough to dump him and move on.

so basically my laptop is only a year and abit old but it keeps over heating and then shuting down for ages, how can i stop this happening ? (link)

You should get a can of air, It will cool down the computer and wipe any back up dust. However, I highly suggest you buy a fan, You can buy one of these at Walmart for about 30 bucks. It hooks onto the bottom of the laptop. Your computer is shutting down because you are buring up the hard drive.


Some friends from school told me that having sex will make your boobs grow. I have really small boobs and I hate it so I thought I would give it a try. I'm not sure I'm doing it right though. I just dunno but I want my boobs to be pretty big.

I had sex with 7 boys from my grade at school but nothing really changed for me and my boobs were still small. I was talking to my dad's friend on Facebook and he said he thought sex made breasts grow only if the girl had sex with a guy older than her. So, we ended up having sex, obv.

It just seems like this is taking foreverrr and I just want my barely A cups to go to like a DD. I know that's a big leap but it's what I WANT. After having sex w/my dad's friend I think they seem to be a little more full but not much.

I went on and posted some match ads online and there is 4 guys who say they want to do it with me so my boobs will grow. My first thinking is that if I do it with them all at once then my boobs will grow faster all at once. They're all up for it but I want to know if it will still work that way. I don't want to like have sex with them all together and then my boobs don't grow at all. Does anyone know if you have sex with more than 1 guy at a time if your boobs will still grow? They're all a lot older than me so that shouldn't be a prob.

((And before you start answering don't worry about me getting pregnant. I know the guy has to cum in you for this to work but I haven't started my period yet so I can't get pregnant anyways.)) (link)

Stop having sex with so many "boys", You are ONLY 13 years old and you are growing a reputation and not a good one, A very bad one. Whoever told you having sex makes your breast grow is a liar. 13 years old kids no nothing about sex, There is a hell of alot more than just getting aroused and having sex. If you have to ask a dumb question like that then obviously you aren't ready nor should you be having sex. You are still a child and will be for another few years, You are not legally an adult until you hit the age of 18. I advice you NOT to have sex, If you think you should go around whoring yourself because you think it makes your breast growing bigger then hunny I'm worry for you if you were to ever become pregnant. Use your brain....If you have one.

Also, Read up on sexual education cause obviously you aren't very educated...

It all started when my ex wife well should I say wife at the time left me for another man I had a daughter with my wife at the time this took place my wife would see this man every day while I was at work suporting my family of course I knew she was up to now good but couldn't prove or had the time because my job worked me odd hours well my daughter kept getting bruises on her but she was 3 at the time I started asking questions and of course my wife and I started fighting a lot. Arguing I had to come home from work fix dinner clean house do laundry give my daughter a bath etc because she wouldn't do anything cause she wasn't home half the time her man friend sleeping budy I found out latter on was a regesterd sex offender but you see my wife presed wrongful charges on me that wasn't true she told the police I was beating my daughter when in fact it was her boyfriend that was shacking up in a motel. And of course the law believd her they where on her side now I have a felony on my record can't see my daughter because the courts won't let me till my daughter becomes an adult. So now my life is falling apart (link)

This is a tough situation

If you know that the mother's boyfriend is a sex offender then if you haven't already I would gather the information and take it to the court.

Is 19 too young to be having sex? Just a note I think premarital sex is perfectly okay as long as you're responsible.

The reason I am asking this is because I want to get my Gardisil shot, and my mom would know about it, and she believes that the only people that get it are those who are sexually active or will be in the near future.

I live at home (except I go to school out of state). What should I do when she questions my reasons for getting the shot? Should I tell her I'm sexually active and I want to protect myself? I'm just kind of in a tough situation right now because I have a boyfriend, whom I'm keeping a secret from my family (he's black, and I don't know how my family would react to that). I told my mom a bit about him, and that we are bests friends, and that yes I do spend the night at his place every once in a while but we don't do anything (which is a lie, but I figured my mom can just assume whatever she assumes).

Yup, so what should I do? Tell my mom I'm sexually active, or keep lying to her about it. I mean 19 isn't too young to have sex, right?

(and just a note, I'm on birth control and we use condoms, so no lectures). Oh and if it matters, he is 23. (link)

You are doing everything right.

You are 19 years old, You are protecting yourself.
No, 19 is not too young to have sex, You are an adult. It is your choice to tell your mother however keep in mind you are an adult and you are entitled to your privacy. You do not have to tell your mother anything, At 19 you are old enough to seek birth control on your own you no longer need your mothers permission. Also, at your age you can also date who ever you wish to date your mother has no control over it. I would tell your family about your boyfriend, If you plan on marry him someday he will be family sooner or later. Don't hide him from the family, Be open and be happy with your relationship.

i am 14 female and this is embarrassing but i want to use a cucumber as a dildo because i finger myself sometimes but only for like 5 mins. and it feels good but not really good, so i want to use a cucumber. first of all, can i get a disease from it? and how do you disinfect the cucumber to use it? and i can't fit more than one finger in my vagina (im a virgin) and the cucumber is much larger. will it hurt really bad? will it stretch me out? please answer thank you :) (link)

Don't put anything that doesn't belong up there in your vaginia. House hold items can cause infections, UTI, YEAST, ETC.

Will it stretch you out? Probably

It's definately not the smartest thing to do.

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