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my husband was having an emotional relationship
I am from Malaysia. Married with 4 kids. Age 40. Husband 47. I caught my husband 6 months after he was having an emotional relationship with one of his chat-mates. That person sent her photos which seems to be a mexican actress photos(not her real photos because i found out that she was from BENIN, west africa).I read some of her mail to my husband. I was extremely hurt and angry and i comfronted my husband. He appologised and told me that it was ended dec 2009.I have no choice but to accept but still hurt and couldnt forget what he had done.After that I secretly traced his working on the internet and found out that he already deleted all of the downloded site which link to the DATINGs site. I checked his mail and so far there are no suspicious email.The problem is he always goes outstation and i wont know whether he is faithful to me or not. Question is what should I do. Can I trust him. Pls advice.
Rgds
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Personally I would be really skeptical had someone I trusted done something like this. Maybe he deleted everything because he felt ashamed and he wanted to delete all evidence so he could move on? You never know. If you're still having doubts, talk to him. If you simply can't bear it anymore, and you absolutely cannot trust him, then you know what to do.
--Jack
(18/m)
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i just went through the same thing. The only way you can trust him is to find out why he was doing this. the other woman is not the problem. its HIM. you need to lay down the line tell him to get some help or go together. i think an emotional cheat is WAY WORSE than a sexaul relationship. why did he go looking for it.
if you feel that he is serious and loves you dont give up.
if you want to stay together let him know you dont trust him DONT LET HIM TURN IT ON YOU! dont ever let him make you think your paranoid or jealous. you have every right to feel how you do. just go with the flow take it slow. if you can give each other space. find the real love between you two.
trust takes time. if he is willing to deal with that then go for it. MAKE SURE YOU DONT LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU CAUGHT HIM... the less he knows about what you know the better trust me.. this way if he does it again he can say goodbye.
dont let him get off either.. ride the guilt trip for a while
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All I can say is sit him down and talk with him. Explain your feelings. Make him aware of what is going on in your head. If you want your marriage to work there has to be open communication. Now, if you are going to forgive him then you have to let the past go. You can't forgive someone and hold on to it because you will never get past it. But just because he apologized does not mean you have to accept it and forgive him. He emotionally connected with someone else and in my opinion that is way more dangerous to a relationship than just sex. You can walk away, that is a choice, but it has to be a choice you make because it's what you truly feel is best.
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Would I trust him?..No
Your husband has disrespected you, Betrayed you and lied to you. Your husband had cheated on you, In my opinion you do not need to have sexual contact with someone to consider it cheating.
I don't know how it is in Malaysia, but you have marriage couselor I recommend going. If he is not willing to listen to you and work things out, Then I would say I think it's time for a divorce. Me? I would call it quits...I don't give people second chances expecially it if were my husband on dating sites...:/
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ok listen malaysia i know you prolly wont llisten to me because im young but i say talk to him about it open and honestly make sure to look him in the eyes whenever you are talking. tell him you love him and make himi say it back and look you in the eyes when he does it if he cant he is lying talk about it with him let him no it bothers you. just say "hey, we need to talk...". that will start the conversation.
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