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She's pregnant, and doesn't want it.
As you might have guessed, my girlfriend is pregnant. She's freaking out, and I'm thrilled. She's thinks about an abortion, and I want to keep it. Not the way we pictured it.
The reason she's freaking out is that I'm in the USMC, and will be deployed for all of her pregnancy and probably a lot of the child's life. In fact, I'm leaving in about a week for my latest deployment.
She's worried that if something happens to me, she couldn't handle being a single mother. But I know she could.
Don't get me wrong, I am pro-choice. But I never considered my child to be on that line. If she wants to terminate the pregnancy which she has every right to, she can do that, I doubt I could speak to her again.
I love this woman! I want to marry her! But,I am at a lost. It's her body, but my child. I feel I should have a say, but I seem to not.
(Late-teens/early-twenties couple)
Lazyconfessions
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
Being pregnant is a VERY hard and emotional 9 months. And going through this ride ALONE is even harder! I can tell, based on what you said, that you being in the Marines is a big part of the problem in all this. Her being away from you is hard enough. And being away from you with a child is even more scary for her. I understand you want to have this child and she doesn't. And I can understand both sides of the argument. If you love her as much as you say you do then talk about this as a couple and fully embody her reasoning. Everything changes when a child comes into this world. And it more than likely effects the relationship negatively, especially when there are separation issues and distance. You being deployed is stress on her, and will be major stress on YOUR baby too. Everything that happens with her emotionally and physically will affect your child as it is growing in her womb. If she is not ready then she should not have this child. A child is not just a cute little baby. It takes a lot of hard work and commitment, and she is scared because all of that will be on her. Waiting until you are no longer in active duty (4 years or so) will allow you and her to adjust financially for a child and allow your relationship and bond to becoming stronger. I have been a military wife to a US Marine, and that was scary enough. I could not imagine being pregnant during his deployment either. If you love her then do NOT give her an ultimatum to either keep the child or lose you. That is wrong in every way. You are fully capable of producing another beautiful son or daughter in the future. This is probably not the best time for you, her, and the unborn fetus. The stresses you can imagine experiencing in the future with your deployment and distance between you two will affect that child. So consider ALL of you, the child included, in this. Hope I helped! Best of luck and if you have anymore questions feel free to message my inbox anytime!
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well i no ur deployment means alot to you but i think you should not leave her if you love her so much.
Please dont leave her to be a single mum she is not ready.If you love her so much you will stay.
Your Friend CuteyKitty123
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Thanks everyone. We've been talking all day about this, and we're keeping him/her.
Thank you again. I am very grateful for the help!
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You need to tell your girl to nut up or shut up. My brother is in the military and had a girlfriend the whole time he was gone. If she got pregnant and got rid of it, he would never have talked to her again.
Its your child to. You need to sit down and tell her exactly how you feel. If she doesnt want it then she needs to stay pregnant, and when she gives birth, you need to take that child and not talk to her.
Tell her you want it. She might not listen, but you need to try. This is a childs life.
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You do have a say. A say is pretty much all you have, but you need to step up and use it.
She deserves to know the whole truth of your opinion, and you need to listen to hers as well.
If the truth is that you cannot see the relationship continuing if she chooses an abortion, then as painful as that is, you do need to tell her that.
You should also open yourself up, seriously, to reconsidering your lifestyle and job. If that is her sticking point. It's very nice that you know she could handle being single mother - but it's also completely meaningless. Her position that she doesn't want too or wouldn't be able too trumps your "Oh, it'll be fine." mentality. Please recognize the she has very legitimate fears and you should avoid belittling her or anything that sounds like you are making light of those fears. Doing that, is not listening to her. And if you don't listen you might not get heard either.
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just sit down with her and talk about it for an hour or so talk about it personally calm her down and let her know how you feel about it and hear her out make the descision together but she kinda has like 75% of the say granite it is your child to she has to go through the pregnancy and the stress
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