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my boyfriend's boner...
i'm a girl and i'm 14, and i admit, i have a boyfriend. we've been going out for 9 months and he's usually NOT like this!
i'm keeping this brief, cuz i hate going into detail about it.
we were at a park alone recently, and he was sitting at the base of a slide and i was on his lap. i was kinda uncomfortable, but we were just talking and i didn't see any harm. but then he started....rubbing my thigh and getting closer to my butt...
i really didn't like it so i got up and pretended to look at something.
he asked me to sit next to him again. i didn't want to, really, but i thought maybe he just wanted to tell me something.
well he started touching me like that again. i was about to say something, but i was SO scared!
i hate myself for not doing anything!! you have no idea...
just then his phone alarm went off and we had to go. as we were standing up, i noticed a bulge in his pants and...it REALLY looked like he had a boner...
it was SO AKWARRRDD!!! he was trying to cover it up with his shirt and pretend nothing happened...
for two weeks i was totally hung up about it.
i hate anything sexual, my eye kept twitching, i was zoning out more than usual, i kept thinking about it and flinching when people touched me.
he's apologized, but now he doesn't seem affected.
he's usually such a good kid, though.
oh btw he's 15, just information i forgot to add.
am i overreacting? he's my first boyfriend, so i don't know how significant a boner is...
help pleeez.....
thanks...
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If you're not comfortable with your boyfriend touching you, are you sure that you like him? Touching each other is a normal part of a relationship, and if it makes you uncomfortable, then that's not good. That's a pretty big issue. Is there a reason you don't like to be touched that way, or is it just because it's new to you & you're scared?
Boners are completely normal for guys to have, especially boys who are 15. It's not something he can control. He really likes you, and him getting a boner obviously shows that. You can't shun him or think of him differently just because he got sexually aroused around you. He's 15! That's completely normal. He probably masturbates too. You need to get over it.
Yes, I would say you're overreacting. Look into why you're scared of being touched though. Nothing about that sounds good.
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well you're right you shouldn't let him touch you if you're not comfortable with it but i think you're overexaggerating about the boner. its completely normal that just means he's turned on by you. he shouldn't have to apologize for having a boner because he can't help it. just make it clear to him that you don't want sex right now. he will probably still get a boner if you sit on his lap or makeout and stuff but that doesn't mean you have to have sex with him.
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its normal for a 15 year old boy to have a booner its the time in a boys life when he starts thinking about sex but make sure you let him know that you dont want to think about sex right now so ask him not to touch you in ways that make you unconfordable and if he really likes you then he will understand but dont let anyone push you into anything your not ready for i hope i hope my advice will help
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There are two separate issues here.
Number one: the touching. You should not be scared to tell him to keep his hands off you. If you're not comfortable, you need to tell him to slow down. Guys can be a little thick when it comes to subtle social cues... sometimes you just need to smack them in the face with reality. Next time, tell him that you're not comfortable with where his hands are, and give him definite boundaries. If he wanders again, give him what for.
Second issue: the erection. You ARE overreacting here. The poor guy's 15 years old. You know what gives 15 year old guys erections? EVERYTHING EXCEPT THEIR GRANDMOTHER. You have to cut him some slack. It's even more involuntary as burping, because at least you can hold those in. Yes, it was caused by him touching you this time, but he could also get them in math class for no apparent reason. So it's not necessarily sexual in nature, and it doesn't mean he's a predator. It means he's 15 years old and overrun with hormones.
So don't do anything you're not comfortable with, and don't worry about body parts with a life of their own. :)
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If you aren't comfortable with being touched like that, you should speak up and he should respect it. You've got to tell your boyfriend where you draw the lines though, that is only fair. You're going to have to screw up the courage to actually say "Dude, remember when we at the park and your hands were all over me? Yeah, it made me uncomfortable. Don't do that please."
That's really, really important. Your boyfriend deserves to know.
However, you are overreacting about the erection. Guys get hard. Girl fart. Everybody vomits sometimes. We sweat and stink and our insides are kind of gross. Part of being in a relationship is accepting that your partner is HUMAN and does all the normal gross things human beings do.
It's okay if him having an erection made you uncomfortable, but you have to realize really clearly that although he can control his touching you and you can talk to him about that, he can't always control an erection and you can't hold that against him. That is an issue you are just going to have work on getting over yourself, because it's silly. If you are that grossed out by it, you might not be ready to be in a relationship at all...
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It's natural for guys to get boners, if they are sexual attracted to you..So I would think, it's a good thing to know; that he is attracted to you. But watch out, don't let him get in your pants :)
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