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problems with future sister-in-law
so my soon to be sister-in-law and i were friends in college prior to her and my brother's relationship. at the beginning of their relationship after a long day of drinking she left me a voice mail about how she had sex with my brother, came over to me and said that i needed to listen to it, i played the message but due to the surroundings i was unable to hear it, so she decided to scream out in front of 10 of my close friends that she had sex with my brother last night and it was good. since that day i had no need to entertain her. when they would come back to where i went to school they would stay with me for free, and ditch me every chance they got even though they were going out with all of our mutual friends. that was were i decided she was dead to me. but after 3 more years of hating each other and the first Christmas after my grandfather passed, i felt like if she made him happy i needed to suck it up and be nice to her, and supportive of their relationship. once they got into town, i apologized to her for being a rude over the years, she apologized for the same behavior on her part. well now its 5 months after the amends, i still feel like she's still fighting with me. what do i do now??
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I've been in the 'hated sister-in-law' position before, so I can see where she might be coming from.
They were in the glow of a new relationship. That wonderful time when you want to spend every breathin g moment with the other person. People do horrible, rude things to their friends when they're stupidly head over heels for someone else. I'm sure this isn't the first time a girl has gone distant once she gets a new boyfriend - this is just the first time it's involved family.
3 years of hating each other? Of course she's still going to be resentful! My fiance's brother hated me for about a year after we started dating, and it was awful. I still resent the way I was treated, and that was 3 years ago. You bore a grudge for way too long, and she's not going to snap out of it right away! It could a while yet for her to really forgive you.
Just keep being nice. Try not to start confrontations. If an argument does arise, back out. It'll be tough, but she needs to see that you're really reformed.
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Sit her down and talk to her about it. There's obviously something that she feels like you two haven't worked out yet, so ask her about it. Tell her again that you're sorry for what happened in the past, and you want things to be okay between the two of you, but you feel like she's still not over what happened.
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