I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 64979
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okay so ive liked this guy for a loooong time, and well his friends always joke and say "stop flirting with your girlfriend" and "okay we're here to play basketball not flirt with brittany!" and i want to know if they are just teasing or theres some truth beneath all that.. how can i get him to honestly tell me if he likes me without throwing myself out there and seeming all desperate? please help (link)
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The best way to get a real answer from him is just to ask him how he feels about you. I know it's horrible to have to put yourself out there on a limb like that but if you ask one of his friends or one of your friends, that will put you more at risk of looking desperate. He will have more respect for you if you ask him yourself. So take a deep breath and just ask him if he'd like to do something with you sometime. The worst he can do is say no and I doubt he will do that, judging by the way he's acting!
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Hello
I am a 15 year old. I'll be 16 soon.
I have been having my period since Nov. 2004.
I've had it every month from the 19th to the 29th
This month i didn't get it.
It's never been this late.
I got all the cramps, and the upset stomachs before it.
It just never happend.
My mom didn't get hers either this month.
This is the 1st time it's happend.
I WILL rate high.
THanks
(link)
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Don't worry. There are lots of reasons why you might not have had it this month. Stress, illness, medicine and so on can play huge parts in affecting the menstrual cycle.
If you're concerned, you should see your doctor, to rule out any serious problems. The chances of it being serious are slim but you should really get checked out to be on the safe side.
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hey everyone my name is nikita and iam 15 years old. well my problem is that about a month ago i got punched in they eye for callling a girl skinny and a whore. Now ihave to go to court for that!! and im super scared. ny parents told me not to ever call neone skinny because iam too and they told me not call anyone a bad name at all. well i told them plus the principal i won't do that again. well i kind of did. i called this one girl a bitch because she pointed at me. i don't know what's wrong with me. i fee like abad person because im either callin people bad names or talking about them behind their back. and at home my parents tell me that the only reason i call people names is because i can't even talk to them properly without having an attitude! and there right i do! i always talk back if they tell me to do something. and i always have an attitude for some reason! and im a freshmen in high school! and im scared what i might do when i get older. idon't want to become a bad peson but my attitude and actions are making me! so what should i do? (link)
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The important thing is that you realise that what you are doing is wrong. Teenagers are MEANT to be moody and difficult and have attitude problems. Rebellion is a part of growing up. You just need to be careful not to let it get out of hand.
Now, it's too late to undo the damage that you have done but you need to learn from it and try to reign in that temper of yours a little bit. It's okay to get angry sometimes but calling people names just because they point at you is (I'm sorry to say) rather an overreaction and it's the sort of thing that will end you up in trouble.
Now I'm not going to tell you to count to 10 because let's face it. That works with nobody. But what you do need to do is find an outlet for all that energy you're building up. Try taking up a new hobby or a class of some sort. Perhaps you could try a drama class or similar? With something to focus your attention on, you should feel a lot calmer.
Also, because you're aware of your attitude, you have an opportunity to change it, before you end up being one of the kids sent off to some 'brat camp', as they call them on the TV. Every time you feel yourself flaring up, turn your back and walk away. It's REALLY hard to begin with but keep at it and eventually you will be able to do it. It's the best way to avoid doing or saying something you will regret. Also, try helping around the home a little more. It'll earn you extra brownie points with your parents which will make you feel more appreciated by them and calm some more of that anger you feel.
As far as the court case goes, you need to confess that you shouldn't have said those things about that girl. Truth is though, she shouldn't have hit you, regardless of what you said and I expect the court may well feel the same way.
I really hope everything goes okay for you.
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Okay So to make a super long story short...i met this guy about a week ago(on the internet)....and i lied to him about what i looked like...where i lived, etc. etc. and well 2 days after meeting him, he found out i was fake and i had to confess and he stopped talking to me...well 2 days ago i IMed him and asked if we could start over...and he said no...he told me he was thinking about talking to me but not anymore because he thinks i'm weird and obsessed with him (because i was constantly sending him messages to try and explain) and i sent him one last message on myspace saying that if he would have just listened to me from the beginning then i wouldnt seem so stalker-ish.... :( is there any hope for me and him to become friends again in the future? or should i just forget him? I dont want to forget him because he is super nice and pretty cool from what i can tell...should i try and make things work or should i leave him alone and let him come to me....WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!?!?!? Thanks to anyone who answers :) (link)
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The best thing you can do is leave well enough alone. Unfortunately, this situation has reached the stage where ANY contact from you will make the situation worse, whether you're trying to explain or not.
Take it from someone who has been in a similar position before, leave him be and let him come round in his own time. You've done everything you can by trying to tell him the truth.
When all is said and done, you really need to learn from this experience. Next time, don't lie about yourself and if you do, don't be surprised when they get upset after you tell them the truth. Also (not to get all parental on you), make sure you're careful about people on the internet. Just as you lied to this guy, he could have been lying to you and who knows who he might be in real life? Unfortunately, there are a lot of weirdos out there and you don't want to learn the hard way that not everyone on the net is who they say they are.
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Can someone give me some songs i can think of for my wedding? thanks! (link)
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Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
I Need You or How Do I Live - Leanne Rimes
You're Still The One - Shania Twain
Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet
Angel - Sarach McLachlan
Slave To Love - Bryan Ferry
Show Me Heaven - Maria McKee
And good luck with the wedding! Congratulations!
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So I'm 14/f and one of my friend's friend's cousin added me on msn about 3 months now. I don't talk to him alot and wen I do I find myself in this state: I start to flir with him and it gets to the point where he just keeps telling me how hott I am and stuff and then we don't talk for 5-7 days and between that time I really get out of it. Then wen I talk to him again the same thing happens. BTW...This boy is no prince charming (he's relly not hot or cute) and he's 15. So last night I was flirting with him like major! I mean we were talking bout tongue wrestling and he coming to my house. It's really not love cause it feels more like lust. I really enjoy talking to him and maybe flirting with him isn't the worst idea I ever had...but I really think it might somehow get serious and I spoil my name a reputation and esp. since his cousin is a relly gud friend of mind! Do you think he's using me because I'm pretty and he's not? And what do you think it is...an infatuation or just those once in a blue moon things..n if i like flirting with him (which I do) should I continue or will I give him a bad idea of what I think of him? (link)
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There's no real way of knowing how he feels about you, without knowing him. My guess would be that he's at that age where hormones are kicking in and sex is starting to become a major prospect in his mind. While he's thinking about all this anyway, he has you flirting with him and suddenly he has someone to focus his sexual energy on.
It sounds very much like a lustful thing and that doesn't mean he's using you or doesn't like you in any other way...but at the same time you need to be sure he has some respect for you, rather than purely thinking of you as a sex object.
As you're only 14, you have a couple more years before you should really be considering having sex but it's a though which is almost definitely on his mind. Now, I'm not here to preach and I'm pretty sure you've already had the 'safe sex' and 'no sex underage' talk from teachers and parents but I will tell you that you need to make a decision. If you keep flirting with him and let him think you're thinking the same things he is, that's inevitabley where he will expect it to lead and what you need to think about at the end of the day is, do you really want your first time to be with him?
Flirting is always fine, within reason. You just need to work out where to draw the line and draw it in indellible ink!! And don't worry, if you decide you don't want to take things further, you can do it without hurting him. This is lust, not love.
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Okay so i have a dance compititon this weekend and i have a couple things i was wondering because it's my first compitition.
(I'm a 13 year old girl if that helps)
okay so i'm on my period. is there anything i should do to keep from getting leaks but not show through the costume? one's like a skin tight spandex uni-tard! but i can't wear tampons
2nd i was wondering if anyone has any advice or things i can do to relive stress and get sleep the night before. becuase i lose sleep the night before!
anything helps
Thanks in advance guys!!
i rate 5's for anything useful(which is just about everything!!) (link)
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Go to the doctor and ask them for a pill that helps to delay your period. I had them prescribed once when I was going on holiday. You take one a day from a couple of days before your period is due and then take them until you're ready for it to come on.
As far as relieving stress, try doing some exercise. It's great for relieving stress and tension. Go for a cycle, a jog or a walk nearby. Then make sure you have something plain to eat for dinner and go to bed early. That way, if you do have problems sleeping, at least you're getting some rest.
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ok welllll....do guys findd it weird when girls play video games? or is it cool? and do guys like it when girls are girly but still "boyey"?
P.S. boyey is not a real word..i just made it up...fyi (link)
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It depends on the guy, I think.
When I was a bit younger, I hung out with a couple of guys playing games on the Playstation. I kicked their butts and they both ended up telling me they fancied me!
But my current boyfriend likes that I'm more feminine now and don't really play video games any more (unless you count on the PC, because he thinks that's cool).
It boils down to doing what you want to do. If they're not happy with it then you're better off without them.
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What are the steps to get a girl from hardly noticing you to her going out with you? I am ugly so don't count on looks helping me here. I also don't want this to happen "That ugly guy keeps saying hi to me and talking to me. Its so weird. Next time he says hi to me I am going to say don't look at me"
So detailed guide in how to start. (link)
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Oh bless you!!!!
It's so terrible to think that you think of yourself that way. I hate that word 'ugly'. It's so cruel.
The absoloute truth is that, yes, there are a lot of girls out there who go for 'pretty boys' but looks DON'T win over everything else with people who count for anything. Even if you weren't the most attractive person out there, a decent girl would be able to see past that to the person you are inside and be attracted to that. Besides which, who's to say that this girl finds you unattractive?
If you want her to notice you, confidence is the key. The one thing that a girl will pick up on more than anything else is a guy who is sure of himself, without being cocky about it. It's very hard to describe but you need to emenate a 'presence' when you are around her. Let her KNOW that you are there. Hold your head up high. Walk tall. Walk past her with some friends, laughing and talking as you go and as you walk past, catch her eye and flash her the tiniest smile. See if she smiles back and take it from there. If she does, go and say hi. Make small talk. See what she likes, what she doesn't like.
What you do from there is up to you but please PLEASE don't think that your looks have anything to do with it. Even if she turns you down, it might not be anything to do with how you look. You need to build your self esteem a little. After all, if you don't like you, how can you expect someone else to? There WILL be something about you that girls will find attractive. So work out what your best qualities are and use them to your advantage.
Good luck.
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when it comes to guys im way behind. im not so good at handling them. a lot of guys have approached me and like me.. but i seem to always turn them down.. not because i dont like them, but because im scared. theres only one guy ive ever trusted and he has a girlfriend. he said if he was single hed go out with me in a second. which is why i think i turn guys down. im scared that if i get into a commitment with a guy.. when the guy i really like(the one with the girlfriend) is single ill be taken. im also scared because my parents are super strict and i would have to hide a boyfriend if i had one. im 16 years old btw. ahh i dont know what to do. im missing out and i want it to stop. any advice? (link)
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Shyness is actually a VERY common affliction and you need to remember that the guys you like probably are shy too!! It's just that guys are expected to make the first move.
Let's sort this first issue out about the guy you really like. I know how sucky it is when you like someone you can't have but the fact of the matter is that there's no point wasting your time being hung up on him if you can't have him. I know it sounds harsh but basically, you have to let him go. Maybe he will come back to you and if that happens, you need to work out then what you want to do if you're already with someone. The point is, if you hang around for him, who knows what GREAT other guys out there you'll be missing out on!? Don't deprive them of the opportunity to get to know you either. They're just guys. They're not the alien species we're raised to think they are and the truth is that they will be every bit as nervous as you when it comes to dating. They're just not allowed to show it.
The situation with your parents is kind of a big deal. Okay, they're strict but if you think about this for a moment, do you really think that hiding a boyfriend from them is going to make it better? If they were to find out about him, they would be worse than ever. I know it seems like they're trying to hold you back right now but they're only strict because there's a LOT of teenagers out there who turn bad and they don't want to see you go the same way. If you want to go out with guys, you need to prove to them that you can be trusted and that they did a good job of raising a responsible, mature teenage girl. So if you agree to go out with a guy, talk to them about it. Explain that there's a really nice guy at school, that you like him and that he asked you out. Tell them you would really like to go but you didn't want to say yes before you'd checked it with them because you know how they feel about this stuff. Then suggest that he come over to pick you up before you go out with him, so they have a chance to meet him. Set out a time you'll be home by and whatever you do, DON'T break it, or they'll never let you out of their sight again!!!
Good luck!
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well me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while now and we're always messing around but lately we haven't it feels like our realationship isn't the same anymore.i told him i didn't feel like it was the same and he told me he was feeling the same way so he suggested that could be the problem that we haven't been messing around with each other and he thinks we should start again,but i feel that why should we mess around juss so we can feel that spark between us again.shouldn't it juss be like we don't have to do anything like that juss so our relationship could be the same.i don't like the fact that i always have to satisfy him juss so he can be happy with us.i feel like if i don't do it our relationship will not be the same.wat should i do?should i do it or not.he's not pressuring me to do it he was saying that as a suggestion but i don't know i juss need some advice i guess and i will rate a five for juss sum good advice (link)
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After a certain amount of time, some of the initial spark does tend to fade and relationships do change. The point of this being that you're over what has been formally designated the 'honeymoon period' and what you should be left with is a stable secure relationship.
That being said, it sounds as though neither of you are happy with this. Yes, it can be a bit of a shock when you realise it's gone but at the same time, relationships take work. It would be nice if it all just sort of 'happened' and we didn't need to do anything but sometimes it means making a little extra effort to enjoy one another and trying a little harder to keep the relationship alive. A lot of relationships fail because they're not strong enough to withstand this change.
The bottom line is, this is totally natural but if you and your boyfriend aren't comfortable with it, the truth is it might be better to end the relationship. When the right guy comes along, the extra effort you need to put in after the 'honeymoon period' disappears won't seem like such a chore.
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I like two people. :( They happen to show interest in me as well. But I don't know who to choose. They both are great (link)
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There are a couple of ways to deal with this sort of problem.
You need to sit down and have a really good long think about each of these people. Think about their pros and their cons. Which one would you prefer to spend time with? Is there a particular one who gives you a tingle down your spine? Maybe you have less in common with one than the other. When all that is said and done. Throw it all away and go with gut instinct. When it comes to matters of the heart, you can only let your brain get involved to a certain degree before it messes things up. After thinking about all of that, you should have a better idea which one you would rather be with.
If you can't decide, there's always the other option. Don't date either of them. I know it's not such a great prospect to you but if there's a possibility you will hurt one by going out with the other, it may be better to leave the situation alone and go after someone else. This also will avoid the situation of worrying what it might have been like, had you chosen the other.
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I'm delivering a speech favoring gay rights in america for my college and I'd like to compile a list of openly gay celebrities but I can only think of about four and I can't find anything on the internet that's reliable. So I was wondering if anyone could possibly help me find something.
Thanks in advance. (link)
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Rupert Everett
KD Lang/Katie Lang (I'm English and she's not known over here so I really don't know how it's spelt - only heard it in a film!!)
Hmm...actually....I can't really think of any more! If they were English, I could have told you loads since there seems to have been a spate of 'coming out' over our side of the pond!!!
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my super best freinds parents are getting a divorce i came up the stairs from my bus and saw her baning her head up agaisnt the locker i didnt think much of it and joined her but then she was crying so i was like whats wroung and she said my mom told me not to tell anyone.but she told me anyway.she told me not to tell anyone and i told her i wouldnt tel a soul and i havent and im not good at keeping secrets but i know that this is the bigest one that i ahve ever heard and how important it is to not tell anyone i started crying with her.i asked her why and she said she cant tell me and she didnt and i ahte that because im her friends and ive always told her that she can tell me anything and i feel like she doent trust me.and im thinking the worst like her father hits her so the mom was like your not hitting my kids anymore im leaving.or it could be somthing lil like they feel outa love but i cant guess because shes always been so hapy i dont know and im so worried for her.....what should i do
i rate high (link)
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The only thing you can do. Be there for her. Divorce is such a terrible time for families and with divorce rates now higher than marriage rates, it's becoming more and more common.
It always has the worst effect on the kids and, as her Mum might not be in a very good state right now to be ensuring they're okay, you need to make sure you're as good a friend to her as possible. Although she did make you promise, it might be sensible to perhaps confide in your Mother/other Guardian about this. If they know your friend's mother, they might be able to provide her with some support too.
As for the reason behind the divorce, it may be that her Mother has asked that she doesn't tell anyone and I recommend that you don't press the matter. If it's big, she'll tell you in time but at the moment, she's going to need to deal with the reasons on her own. Make sure that as a family, they are together without her Dad, as now is a time when they will really need each other.
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What do you think is the average age to get your first kiss? (link)
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In my experience, there is no average age. Some girls I know got their first kiss before they were 10, I didn't get mine til I was 17 and I know some people who didn't get their first kiss til they were even older.
If you're concerned about not having had a first kiss, please don't worry about it. You should kiss someone only when it feels right to you and not because you feel like everyone else has. You only get one first kiss so make sure it's a special one.
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Well lately ive had low self asteem in myself. i feel like i have no chance with every guy i like. im starting too be uncomfy with things i was comfortable like being tall as i am [5 11]. Well now all i think is no guy would go out with me because im tall and black. iunno what to do but i hate feeling this way. i really need some good advice!
P.S last yr i wore lower cut shirts and flirted mroe and was more loud and guys liked me. i feel like i had to b slutty to get guys to like me. should i go bac to that or waht can i do to get the same result? (link)
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Never EVER feel that you have to have your goods on show to get attention from people. Yes, it does get you attention but the wrong kind. Eventually, it will make you feel worse as you learn that people aren't liking you for you but instead for what they can see of or get from you.
(Just as a side note here, I'm 5'4-5'5 and I hate being short! I'd love to be as tall as you!!)
There are a LOT of tall women in the world and a lot of tall black women. I bet if you looked at the WNBA, all those women probably have boyfriends or husbands. Perhaps basketball is one way you could use your height to your advantage?
Unfortunately, you're at an age where low self esteem is very common. There's no absoloute cure to this, as everyone needs to find their own way to feel good about themselves but my recommendation is that you take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Chances are that you are a tall, beautiful girl and that if you could get your self esteem up a bit and show a little self-confidence, there would be plenty of people flocking in your direction. It doesn't matter whether you are tall, short, fat or thin. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and EVERYONE has something to offer someone in this world and you are no different to them. So try to rememeber all the things that are great about you and make them work for you, not against you.
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I have a boyfriend and he is really nice. He is always very sweet and considerate of me. He has made it clear that he really likes me alot and I like him too.
He sounds really outgoing on the phone, but then at school he is so nervous, he can barely talk to me. My friends and I get the feeling that he thinks I'm really popular and experienced which actually, I'm not. So on instant messenger he kept saying, "Were going to make on on Monday and school" and he always calls me "babe" on the phone or computer. But then at school, he is so nervous around me.
So, is he a jerk, or just one really nervous insecure kid? (link)
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Sounds like he's just nervous and insecure. You could try meeting him somewhere a little more neutral (not a mall or similar) as, if you are popular at school, it would be your 'turf' and therefore be intimidating to him. Then try opening up to him a little. Tell him a secret about yourself. Not a big one, mind. Something small that you don't really mind people knowing but perhaps haven't mentioned. By opening up to him, you're giving him an opportunity to open up to you. The more he can feel open, the more relaxed he's likely to feel.
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Well okay, I have a friend named *Helena*. And she has this ex-boyfriend named *Kenny*.
They went out for a month and he dumped her. For that, I always thought he was a jerk.
But last night, I spent time with him and some more of my friends and my ex-boyfriend [who I think I still have feelings for]. Me and him [*Kenny*] were wrestling and he pinned me down all the time. He was being really nice to me [something I didn't think he was capable of].
Then my ex-boyfriend slapped *Kenny* with baby powder. *Kenny* pushed my ex and he [my ex] tripped and went crazy. Him and *Kenny* started fighting. And one thing my ex said was "What the $%#% *Kenny*?! You pushed me in my own damn house?! In front of my ex-girlfriend?! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
I don't know what that means. But my ex and *Kenny* were friends again minutes later.
I think I have feeling for *Kenny* since he was really sweet to me. But I don't know if I can go for him since he is one of my best friend's ex-boyfriend? Can I go for him? (link)
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It's a very tricky situation and to be honest, one you may want to avoid. Other than the obvious complication that he's your friend's ex, he's also you ex boyfriend's friend. You wouldn't be upsetting just one people but two people you were or are close to.
If you really do like him and do want to try making a go of it, you could talk to your friend about it and see how she feels. I would broach this situation VERY carefully however and rather than go diving in with "I think I like your ex boyfriend....mind if I go out with him?", I'd try mentioning him a little more subtly and take it from there. Perhaps start with how you hungout with he and your ex for a bit. Tread the water and see if it's safe. Just be careful and remember that if your friend says no way, he is strictly off limits, unless you want to risk losing a good friend.
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This is the story..(in short)
Sinds I have had problems with my mother in law(mother of my bf)She thinks I'm not ideal for her son ...(She is extremely jealous about her sons)We don't talk to each other anymore (I feel like I hate her )She went around gossiping about me and lie things about me just to keep his son away from me....I left all this behind and I'm really trying to get over this but sometimes i feel really quilty that the relationship between my bf and his mother has took a strange turn just because of me although my bf tells me that she did this types off things with his ex too.But now everytime he goes to see his mother I get like worried becuase I think maybe his mom would lie worse thiings about me or critize me to let my bf dissapoint in me..
This is not all beside this his ex is trying to get back with him...And I'm really worried about this too.., because I really want to be with him ...We have 1 year and 5 months togheter(realtionship is great)
I have a constant fight in my mind ..I feel like I am constant fighting for him...I supossed it is great to fight for someone but.....to be in a constant fight (this is what I feel)It's not good neither
Palese help me .....I don't want to feel this way anymore
I will rate high (link)
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Unfortunately, there isn't really a lot you can do here. It's fairly natural for mother-in-law's to dislike the man/woman that has taken their child from them and once they have made their mind up about this, there's very little you can do to change it. You could try the very mature option of sitting down and trying to talk to her about it and explaining how you feel about her son...but she may be too stubborn for that to work, in which case it's best to leave well alone and let her come round in her own time. Also, I wouldn't worry about what she says to your boyfriend. If he really cares about you, he won't let any poisonous words from someone upset the relationship. You just need to trust that he will care for you regardless of what she says and that, most importantly, he's defending you when you're not there.
As for the ex, the situation is much the same. If he wants to be with you, you have no reason to worry. The only thing you can do is take comfort in the fact that his mother probably never liked her either!! Seriously though, all you need to do is be there for him and show him how you feel about him. Do anything different and you risk chasing him away. He's with you because he cares about you and he obviously broke up with his ex for a reason.
Trust him. Everything will be fine and as for the fighting in your mind? Give up the fight. There's no point stressing about it because if you don't have a stable relationship, nothing you do will make a difference. However, if you have a stable relationship, as it sounds, he's not going anywhere.
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I want to break up with my boyfriend in a way. I do because we spend way to much time together and he eventually gets annoying. But I know I wold be jealous if I seen him with other girls and it will make it hard because we go to school together, work together, and yeah. But I don't want to hurt him but he will probably be a butt about wanting to still be friends. He doesn't drive and I always have to kinda haul him around. What should I do? I will rate high! (link)
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Instead of breaking up with him, why don't you try to work out a compromise? Tell him that you've been struggling with a lot of stuff lately and you need a little space. If you spend a lot of time together, my guess is there are going to be opportunities to cut back on that. So maybe try to only see him 2-3 times a week for a while and then make a decision whether you want to be with him at all any more.
If, on the other hand, you know you would be happier to just end it, try to be gentle. He's bound to not be too pleased about trying to still be friends because he cares a lot about you and this will probably be hard for him. Just explain to him you don't think the relationship is working any more and you need to go your separate ways. You can add in the bit about being friends if you like but only if you really want to continue your friendship. Most of all, reassure him that he's a great guy and that any other girl would be lucky to go out with him. That way, you're breaking up with him but giving him an injection of self-esteem too.
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