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im a troubled kid and i need help!
hey everyone my name is nikita and iam 15 years old. well my problem is that about a month ago i got punched in they eye for callling a girl skinny and a whore. Now ihave to go to court for that!! and im super scared. ny parents told me not to ever call neone skinny because iam too and they told me not call anyone a bad name at all. well i told them plus the principal i won't do that again. well i kind of did. i called this one girl a bitch because she pointed at me. i don't know what's wrong with me. i fee like abad person because im either callin people bad names or talking about them behind their back. and at home my parents tell me that the only reason i call people names is because i can't even talk to them properly without having an attitude! and there right i do! i always talk back if they tell me to do something. and i always have an attitude for some reason! and im a freshmen in high school! and im scared what i might do when i get older. idon't want to become a bad peson but my attitude and actions are making me! so what should i do?
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I am sure you are not a bad person, you are just doing some "bad" things". On the up side, It's great that you realize your behavior could get you into serious trouble.
No one can force you to say something that you do not want to say. When you react in a negative manner, they have gained control, and you have lost control. I hate that loss of control feeling, it's really hard on the ego!
Some people will expect you to act badly (since that is what you usually do) Wouldn't it be funny if you fooled them and said something nice? It will certainly make the people in your lives wonder what you have been up to. Reacting the way you do may be partially habit, but habits can be broken. Try to catch yourself when you are about to say a smart comment and replace it with something nice. It will usually diffuse the situation, and you might even have a laugh or two.
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Nikita,
This is a different answer than you've received yet, so hopefully you'll realize the truth in it. You see, you do what you do because of what's inside you. What's inside? An inner-man (generic term, for you, I'll say an inner-woman) that is bent, naturally, at rebellion. You can't do anything right. Hard to swallow, huh? It's the truth, though. The only way to change the words and actions on the outside is by changing the inside. You might think that to be a daunting task, but it's really quite simple. Jesus said it best when He said, "Repent and believe the gospel." You see, repenting of your sin, confessing it to God, and believing that Jesus Christ died to save your from your sin is the only way anyone can truly change. The Bible says that what's on the inside will show on the outside. The fact that you're "feeling" guilty about your sin may be a sign that the Holy Spirit is working in your heart. Don't turn Him off. Find a Christian friend, pastor, etc. and ask them to help you understand salvation. You can respond to me or ask me a private question and I'll be glad to help you out. Let me illustrate my point and then I'm done.
If you take a tea bag and put it in a cup, what happens to it? Nothing, until you add the "hot water." Then what's in the tea bag will come out. The same is true with every individual on earth. If Jesus Christ does not live in you by His Holy Spirit (which, by the way, isn't a mystical thing), then the only other answer is that you are a child of the devil. That's what the Bible says. But, Nikita, God desires to save you and to adopt you into His family. You have to be re-born into the family by trusting in Christ ALONE for salvation. He died for you, and offers a new life (and life abundantly). If you sincerely want to change, then you must admit that you cannot change yourself, for only He can.
I hope to hear back from you.
ByReasonofUse
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The important thing is that you realise that what you are doing is wrong. Teenagers are MEANT to be moody and difficult and have attitude problems. Rebellion is a part of growing up. You just need to be careful not to let it get out of hand.
Now, it's too late to undo the damage that you have done but you need to learn from it and try to reign in that temper of yours a little bit. It's okay to get angry sometimes but calling people names just because they point at you is (I'm sorry to say) rather an overreaction and it's the sort of thing that will end you up in trouble.
Now I'm not going to tell you to count to 10 because let's face it. That works with nobody. But what you do need to do is find an outlet for all that energy you're building up. Try taking up a new hobby or a class of some sort. Perhaps you could try a drama class or similar? With something to focus your attention on, you should feel a lot calmer.
Also, because you're aware of your attitude, you have an opportunity to change it, before you end up being one of the kids sent off to some 'brat camp', as they call them on the TV. Every time you feel yourself flaring up, turn your back and walk away. It's REALLY hard to begin with but keep at it and eventually you will be able to do it. It's the best way to avoid doing or saying something you will regret. Also, try helping around the home a little more. It'll earn you extra brownie points with your parents which will make you feel more appreciated by them and calm some more of that anger you feel.
As far as the court case goes, you need to confess that you shouldn't have said those things about that girl. Truth is though, she shouldn't have hit you, regardless of what you said and I expect the court may well feel the same way.
I really hope everything goes okay for you.
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Don't worry. It's very normal to call people names. I'm SURE that your parents did it when they were your age. Having an attitude is sometimes better than being too shy to defend yourself (like I was). If you weren't like this when you were younger, I would say that you are just going through a phase. I definitely went through a swearing phase. Now, I can control what I say very easily. Try not to worry about it so much. You are not the one going around punching people. The girl you called skinny that punched you has much more of a problem than you ever will. I would say not to worry about it so much now. If you want to work on the swearing, try replacing swear words with different words. Like every time you want to say "whore" say "humbug" instead. It's going to sound really dumb and that's the point. You'll laugh at yourself, it will lighten the situation, and you'll stop calling people that name altogether because it's kind of embarassing to call someone a humbug. I hope I helped you and good luck :)
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Hey Nikita!
Just so you know, it's perfectly normal to be aggressive and have an "attitude" at your age. I know I sure did! You know what your problem is and you seem to want to correct it, and that's half of the battle. I know I had serious issues with my temper when I was younger, even getting into fights with people. All I did was step back, and look at alternate ways of dealing with an issue. For instance, with the girl pointing... you COULD call her a bitch... or you could put a humourous spin on it! Humour gets me through a lot of the irritating encounters I have every day. Also, try to find a better outlet for your frustration: I know Karate is a GREAT way for me to get rid of my anger. And you know what? Not only did I stop having outbursts, I even got healthier! I'm 18 now, and I've been able to get rid of my attitude, so there's always hope!
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