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divorce
my super best freinds parents are getting a divorce i came up the stairs from my bus and saw her baning her head up agaisnt the locker i didnt think much of it and joined her but then she was crying so i was like whats wroung and she said my mom told me not to tell anyone.but she told me anyway.she told me not to tell anyone and i told her i wouldnt tel a soul and i havent and im not good at keeping secrets but i know that this is the bigest one that i ahve ever heard and how important it is to not tell anyone i started crying with her.i asked her why and she said she cant tell me and she didnt and i ahte that because im her friends and ive always told her that she can tell me anything and i feel like she doent trust me.and im thinking the worst like her father hits her so the mom was like your not hitting my kids anymore im leaving.or it could be somthing lil like they feel outa love but i cant guess because shes always been so hapy i dont know and im so worried for her.....what should i do
i rate high
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The only thing you can do. Be there for her. Divorce is such a terrible time for families and with divorce rates now higher than marriage rates, it's becoming more and more common.
It always has the worst effect on the kids and, as her Mum might not be in a very good state right now to be ensuring they're okay, you need to make sure you're as good a friend to her as possible. Although she did make you promise, it might be sensible to perhaps confide in your Mother/other Guardian about this. If they know your friend's mother, they might be able to provide her with some support too.
As for the reason behind the divorce, it may be that her Mother has asked that she doesn't tell anyone and I recommend that you don't press the matter. If it's big, she'll tell you in time but at the moment, she's going to need to deal with the reasons on her own. Make sure that as a family, they are together without her Dad, as now is a time when they will really need each other.
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Hi there! You sound like a very good friend who is very concerned about your best friend. First of all, I just want to say that when someone is going through something that they believe is traumatic, people behave in very different ways. For instance, some people need to speak about it immediately. However, for some people, some need to internalize it for awhile first and wrap their brain around it before they share these kinds of experiences. I am one of the latter. This may also come as a shock, but some people keep things inside because of attention. If it's something that doesn't sound that bad, but the person is really upset over it, (overly upset, it seems), she may want to keep it to herself because once she starts talking about it, it won't sound as bad. Do you know what I mean? Then the whole dramatic thing is not as effective. However, let's just assume your friend is going through a very tough, traumatic time...she may need to try to come to some conclusions on her own without any help from anyone first. When she does this, she may feel it's time to share with you. When she does, do not diminish her feelings at all. Let her talk to you, do not interrupt her, try to ask an insightful question if she becomes silent for a few moments and validate her by showing that what is important to her is also important to you. That is being a good friend. And she will immediately see that. Also, please keep her conversation with you in confidence. If she wants to confide in someone else or tell her story to others, that is her choice, not yours. Good luck. I know you'll do the right thing!
Linda
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She will tell you when she is ready and even if she doesn't this is about her not about you. If she doesn't want to tell you it's her choice. My guess is that it's not something totally serious or you would know about it already. What you need to do is just be there for her and support her because this is going to be a really hard time for her. Be sensitive to her wants, needs, and feelings. She needs you so be there for her and try not to worry so much about yourself. It can be really hard to think like that, I know, but you're her friend so try. I hope that everything goes well and that she does eventually open up to you. Good luck.
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