|
shy
when it comes to guys im way behind. im not so good at handling them. a lot of guys have approached me and like me.. but i seem to always turn them down.. not because i dont like them, but because im scared. theres only one guy ive ever trusted and he has a girlfriend. he said if he was single hed go out with me in a second. which is why i think i turn guys down. im scared that if i get into a commitment with a guy.. when the guy i really like(the one with the girlfriend) is single ill be taken. im also scared because my parents are super strict and i would have to hide a boyfriend if i had one. im 16 years old btw. ahh i dont know what to do. im missing out and i want it to stop. any advice?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Shyness is actually a VERY common affliction and you need to remember that the guys you like probably are shy too!! It's just that guys are expected to make the first move.
Let's sort this first issue out about the guy you really like. I know how sucky it is when you like someone you can't have but the fact of the matter is that there's no point wasting your time being hung up on him if you can't have him. I know it sounds harsh but basically, you have to let him go. Maybe he will come back to you and if that happens, you need to work out then what you want to do if you're already with someone. The point is, if you hang around for him, who knows what GREAT other guys out there you'll be missing out on!? Don't deprive them of the opportunity to get to know you either. They're just guys. They're not the alien species we're raised to think they are and the truth is that they will be every bit as nervous as you when it comes to dating. They're just not allowed to show it.
The situation with your parents is kind of a big deal. Okay, they're strict but if you think about this for a moment, do you really think that hiding a boyfriend from them is going to make it better? If they were to find out about him, they would be worse than ever. I know it seems like they're trying to hold you back right now but they're only strict because there's a LOT of teenagers out there who turn bad and they don't want to see you go the same way. If you want to go out with guys, you need to prove to them that you can be trusted and that they did a good job of raising a responsible, mature teenage girl. So if you agree to go out with a guy, talk to them about it. Explain that there's a really nice guy at school, that you like him and that he asked you out. Tell them you would really like to go but you didn't want to say yes before you'd checked it with them because you know how they feel about this stuff. Then suggest that he come over to pick you up before you go out with him, so they have a chance to meet him. Set out a time you'll be home by and whatever you do, DON'T break it, or they'll never let you out of their sight again!!!
Good luck!
]
Dear Shy,
I feel that Bittersweet's advice was right on the money. Remember, when you first begin dating, try to date different people and find the qualities that you like in someone and those that you get along best with. That way when its time to commit to a serious relationship you will know what your looking for. What I mean my dating is going out, having fun and getting to know different guys, not getting a bad reputation by giving them what they "want". So go ahead see other people, if it works out with this other guy later great, if not that could be great too, at least you'll know what your looking for and the type opf guy that you like best.
Good luck!
]
hey, im the same way and i know that it sucks to be "saving yourself"(not in the sexual way lol) for that guy but i think that you should do what i did put him on the back burner(dont forget about him jus put him on hold), you dont have to go for that serious relationship right now but broadin you herizon and look behind this one guy. if it works out for you two in the future awsome but for now look at the other boys around and have fun! i hope this helps and good luck with everything
-kimberly
]
Okay, about the guy that you like, He is going out with someone. Let him go. He is with someone else, and you can't let your life waste away just waiting for him. No person should put their happiness after anything. Okay, so there is the occasional "have to" but other than that, nope! Don't let this guy take over your life! He went for another girl, obviously you weren't the first choice. He is a jerk that wants you because you are cute or sweet. Don't wait forever. You can wait but not too long, that will tell him that you would do anything just to have him. That way he could take advantage of you and you wouldn't even bat an eye. Don't disrespect yourself, it isn't right!
Now you said that you are shy around boys. Okay, so it might be the other guy, but it also might not. There is nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend. Just because you don't doesn't make you a bad person or something. Don't spend too much time on this, okay? If you find a guy cute and he finds you the same, give him a chance. Don't give this other guy a second thought. Turning guys off just because you like another guy just totally beets the purpose. Take a chance, get your heart broken once....it won't kill ya, it might even help ya. I hope that I helped and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice. Thanks!
]
hey
try talking to your parents first of all. You say they are super strict, well your 16, although you'r still their little girl they are going to have to let you go some time.
just be mature towards them, when you do get a boyfriend, sit them down and say " look mum & dad i'm trying to be grown up and tell you the truth, i have a boyfriend" or something like that, they will respect you for telling the truth and i'm sure they would trust you to.
as for being shy.... well.
if lots of guys have approached you and liked you, all you have to do is not turn them down. it might not be as easy as that but once you start to trust them more it will be easier.
as for this guy, im sorry but he is with another girl, and there is nothing you can do to stop that. you say if he was single he would go out with you in a second, guys like that are often players, [i know from experience :( ]. find someone special of your own. :D
dont be scared. just get out there and have fun.
hope i helped x x
]
More Questions: |