about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

Can I still go to the gyno for my first check up if I have my period?

You can go but they won't be able to do a full exam due to your period. It's better to reschedule the appointment for after your period is over.

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How do you get rid of hemroids? im 13 and i just went to the doctor and she says i have a small one. do they ever go away? do guys care if u have them? thanks

Soaking in a warm bath daily will help soothe the area and make it heal quicker. A hemorrhoid cream such as Preparation H will help you deal with the sympoms so it can heal. Keep the area clean and dry. Try not to touch the area more than necessarily and don't rub it. If the hemorrhoids are from straining due to constipation, try eating a high-fiber and drinking plenty of fluids. It'll help regulate your bowels and prevent consipation. If the hemorrhoids are from diarrhea, try one of the over the counter remedies for diarrhea.

Yes, hemorrhoids will shrink and disappear over time.

If the hemorrhoids are noticeable, guys will probably care. It would probably be best to not have sex for now anyway so the area can heal.

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ok im on like my third peorid and i wanna use a tapon i hate pads ther so nasty and they feel like a diper um so can someone tell me the best brands for tapons and like how do you get TSS? welll thx
ps. if it helps im 13

Tampons with a rounded plastic applicator and and a slimfit will be best to start out with. Tampax Pearl, Tampax Satin Teen, Playtex Gentle Glide and Playtex Slimfits are all good. I personally prefer Playtex but that's just me.

TSS or toxic shock syndrome is generally caused when a normal body bacteria gets out of hand. You can lower your chances of TSS by washing your hands before and after inserting a tampon, using the lightest absorbency tampon possible, and wearing tampons for short periods of time (You can wear them up to 8 hours, but 4-6 hours is really best.), and alternating tampon use with pads.

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i just want to sya i love this website,and that it has inspired me to start my own advice column at my school!!i really want 2 b/c i like giving out advice and seeing people happy!!!, but i have to talk to the dean about it..and i don't know want to say b/c i want him to take me seriously and not laugh in my face...i'm really nervous..b/c i don't want to make the dean mad b/c i'm his assistant,and i'm freaking out!!!!!! what do i say to make him take me seriously????? please help!!! i'll rate 5's for any help!! thanks!!! -nervous girl

First of all I think it's great you want to help people.

Before you meet with the dean, write down what you're going to say. It will help you sort out your thoughts as well as give you an idea of how the conversation might go. Make a list of possible objections you think he might have and come up with solutions if you can.

Since you have access to his schedule, find a clear spot in it and ask him if he could spare a few minutes for you. Make your pitch brief but informative. When you've finished making your pitch, ask him if he has any questions and answer them clearly.

You need to give the dean solid reasons why your advice column would be a helpful resource for the students and the school. I'm listing a few examples but you can expand on them to suit your purpose.

1) An advice column may help the school flow better. Students who ask advice on academic matters can be referred to the appropriate person or department that can help with their problem.

2) Happy people with few issues make better students. If a student is worried about something, they won't be able to concentrate on their studies. By having an advice column, they have a place to talk about their issues and find help, clearing their minds so they can concentrate.

3)I've noticed on this site that occasionally a question comes up where someone is acting for study tips or advice on college. Your column could address these issues for other students helping them in school.

Get together examples of your advice and pick what you consider the top 5-The ones that show your tact with dealing with the issue as well as your skill in helping solve the problem. Get together some good feedback you've received here-The ones that say "Thanks. You really understand and I'm going to try what you suggested." Show these to the dean so he has examples of your work as well as an idea of the results you've got with previous columns.

If the dean has reservations about the column, ask him if he would consider it on a trial basis to see what the faculty and student response is. Tell him he'll have complete approval of the column before it's posted. If he turns you down, thank him for his time and ask him if he'll consider revisiting the issue at a later time.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

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Ok so i'm 5 feet six inches, and about 114lbs, am i heading on the right track? I'm not sure.....Oh yeah i'm also 13 years old. I'm gonna exercise and stuff to get a little more toned. Would it be healthy to lose about 10 lbs? I already know what to do to lose weight.
Thnx for the help!

You are actually a few pounds underweight. The healthy weight range for your height is 117-143 pounds. Exercising to tone your body is fine but I wouldn't suggest dieting as it can bring your weight dangerously low.

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ok so im matured (and beyond ;)) but i still havent had my period. my friend has and shes like "oh you shave your armpits? i dont have to yet" nd all this other stuff like so shes not matured as much as me but yet i KNOW she has it! hmmmmm. . .?

13/f

Girls bodies have certain changes at different times. While your friend has her period already, her body still has more maturing yet to do, as does yours. Since you're only 13, I wouldn't be really concerned about your period. For some women, it can come as late as 17. For now be glad that you don't have to be bothered by cramps, aches, bloating, and pads yet. If it really bothers you that you haven't got your period yet, you could see your doctor for a check-up just to make sure everything is on track.

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i really like this guy and i cant get him off my mind. EVER i really do love him more than anything in this world but he just doesn't understand that. we were in one of those perfect relationships where he would call me at 3 in the morning just to see what i was doing or just because he wanted to hear my voice. !! one night he called me and asked me about my ex who was killed a few months ago, he didn't know that he was killed but he thought that i was still with him. but an hour later he broke up with me and i still dont know why. its been weeks and i still cry over him all the him. i dont think i could stand to cry over him one more time. he likes all these other girls now. i just dont know what to do or how to get over him.im sorry this is long but please answer me fast !!!! thank you !!

It sounds like either he didn't believe you or he's having trouble dealing with the fact that your ex died. I would give him some time and space for now. Maybe someone he trusts will tell him that you were honest and not dating another guy.

The best thing for you to do is try to remove items that remind you of him (You don't have to get rid of them, just put them up where you don't see them all the time.) and try to distract yourself with other activities. Since you're now single, you have the opportunity to flirt without worrying about someone getting jealous, go out with your friends without checking it with him, etc.

I know it's hard right now but it will get better. Good luck.

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ok !i am having a really bad problem. well me and my boyfriend got into a serious arrgument today. he got mad at me cause he said that i was smiling at his friend. i am like omfg cant i even look at anyone.and on the bus today he broke up with me. then he called me and asked me if i would go back out with him. he apoligized and i said ok. well he called me and talked to me a while ago and i dont even think his sister likes me. so what should i do brake up with him or not? srry for this bein so long.
i will rate all 5's and give feedback for helpful answers only.

It seems to me your boyfriend is having some jealousy issues. Since he apologized, it seems to me he regrets what he said. If your feelings for him are still the same and you think he's over the jealousy thing, I see no reason why you can't continue dating him. If you're not sure of your feelings or his jealousy has been an on-going thing in your relationship, I would consider either taking a step back to examine the relationship or to get rid of him.

I wouldn't worry about his sister not liking you since you're dating him, not her. Once she realizes you're not out to hurt her brother, she'll probably calm down. Sisters do tend to be pretty protective of their brothers, especially if they're used to having his attention.

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Hey i have a b/f and i really like him but there is this guy that likes me too and every1 says we make a great couple and hes is my best friend and im starting to like him and then theres this other guy that every1 says liks me b/c he is always 2 flirty and just told me that he`d burn me a cd of this band b/c i told him it was really good and i was goin to buy it and hes lik no i`ll burn it for you i have all the cd`s i`ll burn all the good songs and so he is gonna do that and im really startin 2 lik him 2 but i like mi best friend as a guy and mi boyfriend more and im lik wut if he asks me out ?? Wut do i do??

Since you like your best friend as a guy, it would be better to not get into a relationship with him. Continue your friendship with him but leave your heart out of it. Since you say you're happy with your boyfriend, I would suggest staying with him. If it doesn't work out with the him, you can always go for the other guy.

If your friend asks you out, simply tell him that you're flattered but you enjoy your friendship and don't want anything to mess that up. If the other guy asks you out, tell him if you weren't already taken, you would be interested. Then give your boyfriend a big hug and let him know how special he is to you.

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Ok, I want a treadmill, cause i luv running.
The thing is, i'm not rich and from the looks of most treadmills they're REALLY EXPENSIVE!
Does anyone know of a treadmill website or something that has cheap treadmills?

Try looking at auctions, garage sales, and online auction sites(www.ebay.com or www.auctions.yahoo.com are good ones to try). You could also check your local newspaper classifieds. A lot of times you can get nearly new items at cheap prices. Sometimes overstock bargain sites (www.overstock.com) can get you the item you want at a reduced price.

Since people tend to be able to get out more in the summer-time, indoor exercise equipment is generally cheaper this time of year. Once it starts getting colder, prices will go up since people will be moving their exercise indoors.

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sometimes i get real frustrated with my b/f. and i start to hit and throw things i feel that if i dont get my anger under control that i will hurt him one day and it will jeopardize our relationship. how can i get my anger under control?

When you feel yourself getting to the point where you will lose control, get away from him until you can get your temper under control then talk to him calmly about the issue and see if you can come to a compromise on the issue.

It seems to me that you definitely have some issues with anger but you have taken the first step by admitting there's a problem. There's a some great articles on anger and how to manage it at the following sites. I think you'll find them helpful.

http://www.apa.org/pubinfo/anger.html
http://www.anger-management-techniques.org/

If you find that using these techniques to reduce your anger doesn't work, I would suggest seeking counseling or anger management classes.

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HI
Basically I am one of 8 dependents who are waiting on a formal renunciation of my aunt's liferent of my late gran's trust.
The lawyer who is dealing with it seems to be mucking us about, or it seems like it. The situation at the moment is the trust (a property) has been left to 8 grandchildren, but my aunt was still living in the property until recently, she is now living in a home, so the lawyer was able to sale the house, how I do not know but he is now saying my aunt isn't granting a renunciation so the money from the sale of the house cannot be shared out yet.
What i reallly want to know is was he able to sell the house if she isn't going to hand the house over anyway??? Or do we have to wait until she dies? bit complicated but wondering if you can shed some light?

If I understand you right (It's been a long night and I'm a little fuzzy.), your gran left a trust for the 8 grandchildren but your aunt lived in the house. It sounds like while your gran gave the house to the grandchildren, she added something in her will that would allow your aunt to live in the home rent-free (or be provided for) until her death.

If I remember my legalities correctly, the house may be sold but the money from the house is still going to provide for your aunt. Unless she does a formal renunciation of the money from the sale of the house (the trust), the money will be used to provide for her needs until her death. After her death, the remaining money will be split between the grandchildren.

I hope that makes sense.

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Does anyone know of Hylexin for dark circles actually works? I rate, i dont want any i dont knows, or what is that answers.

You got me on that one, but I did a little research and I think I may have an answer for you.

From the reviews I read by people who have actually used the product, there is a some change in the circles and puffiness but it appears to take some time. I'm giving you the links so you can look for yourself.

http://www.myonlinebeautyshop.com/B0009Q1HR0/Hylexintm.html
http://www.essentialdayspa.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=6943
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0009Q1HR0/ref=pd_sxp_f/002-5027624-4674424?v=glance

I'm also including the main site to Hylexin so you can read what the manufacturer says.

http://www.nomorecircles.com/

Hope this helps.

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Gender: male Age: 16
Me and my gf havent exactly been getting along we cant talk much it neva works, we hug sometimes, and we dont do anything else either because there was a problem and we said we'd work it out but obviously not and im a shy guy and i get pretty depressed often and today one of her friends(also friend of mine) told me my gf wants me to stop me getting into depressive moods and make more of an effort to make the first moves or she will dump me. And then her friend also told me that she also liked another 2 guys and she things my gf is just using me.
But when i was 1st goin out with her i have neva been as happy and im not sure i wanna give up on her and thus lose that happiness.
What do u think? am i just being stupid?
and if u think i should dump her please tell me.
How?

The thing you need to ask yourself is are you happy with her now and if no, is it something that can be fixed.

If you're getting depressed quite often, it might be time for you to talk to someone about getting help for the depression. So many relationships fall apart because someone with depression refuses to get help. I've listed some common signs of depression below so you can see if you fit.

-Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
-Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
-Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
-Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
-Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
-Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
-Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
-Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
-Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
-Restlessness, irritability
-Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

Since your gf also mentioned you making the first move more, you're going to have to overcome the shyness or at least put it aside. Girls like romance and it seems to me that is part of the problem. The following sites have literally thousands of romantic tips to try.

http://www.lovingyou.com
http://theromantic.com
https://romantic-tips.com

If you do decide to dump your girlfriend and I'm assuming you don't want to hurt her, try to do it gently. Tell her that your depression is something that you need to deal with, and it would not be fair to ask her to wait. Make sure you make it clear that it's nothing she has done to cause the break-up.

I hope this helps. Good luck with your girlfriend.

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im fat and its hard to lose wieght and i want to be poul,ar how can i be?

The common response to your question has been you don't have to be skinny to be popular and I agree. People tend to like confident, happy, friendly people. Work on your confidence, smile a lot, and be a good friend.

If you want to lose weight, you need to watch your diet and add a little exercise.

For your diet, try cutting down on calories. Even something as small as just refusing dessert will start showing results after a while if you consistently turn it down. Try eating a tomato sauce with your pasta instead of a cream sauce. Instead of a meat lovers pizza, try a veggie pizza.

Drink LOTS of water. Lay off the sodas and juices since they're full of sugar. Add lots of low-fat dairy to your diet. Studies show that diets high in dairy have maximum weight loss and the weight usually stays off.

Cut down on carbohydrates (breads, pastas) or simply substitute them for healthier versions (whole grain bread, wild or brown rice, etc). Switch to leaner proteins such as chicken, turkey, fish, etc.

Eat foods with high water content such as cucumber, celery, and tomato. Add lots of negative calorie foods to your diet. These foods burn more calories digesting than they have in them making them a dieter's best friend. They include apples, asparagus, berries, broccoli, cucumber, celery, zucchini, etc. You can do a google for a more complete list.

Try to avoid foods that are fried since they're full of fat and calories.

Don't starve yourself or deny yourself treats. If you do, you will get tired of the diet. Give yourself one meal a week that you can have what you want, within reason. Knowing that every Saturday night you can splurge a little will help make the dieting through the rest of the week easier.

Try cutting down on your portions and never go back for seconds unless it's veggies.

If preparing your own meals is a pain, there are several ready-made diet meals on the market. These meals are formulated to give you the most vitamins and minerals with low calories. You just pop them in the microwave for a few minutes and you're ready to sit down to a healthy meal without worrying about portions or calories. Personally I've found Lean Cuisines and Michelina's Lean Gourmet are better since the others tend to be bland. Try for yourself to see which ones you like best. Try Lean Pockets. They taste great, are wonderful if you're on the run, and don't have a lot of calories.

As for exercise, you burn a lot more calories that you think with just daily activities such as showering, walking to your neighbors house, doing the dishes, doing laundry, even sleeping. There's a great calorie counter at the following site which allows you to put in your daily activies and how long you spend doing them. It then takes your information and calculates the calories burned.

http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.html

If you need ideas on an exercise plan, drop me a note in my inbox and I'll be glad to help.

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Hey, I have a Samsung YP-T7 MP3 thing. And I did everything then downloaded music, and so I tryed to transfer the downloaded music to the MP3 thing but it didnt work. It said that it needed a licence? And that the songs a had downloaded from Napster,their license were unable to be obtained. I dont get what im supposed to do. So does anyone know how to fix this? The instructions have nuthing to do with this. So I cant look at those.

Also does anyone know of any sites where I can download music FREE? THANKS! I rate 5's

With any file share program, you're going to run into this. For the most part, most files don't ask for a license but there are some that do.

You might try Limewire since it tends to pull more sources than most and you'll have better luck finding one that doesn't require a license.

I've also heard BearShare is good for downloading music but I had problems with it myself.

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16/f. This is been going on for about a week now. Every so often during the day, my back & chest/stomache has this like, burning feeling... and then it'll go away. But its like an irritation. But it'll go away and then it'll come back like 10 minutes later. What is this? I haven't changed any products like soap or anything, so I don't think I'm allergic to anything. The only thing I can think of, is that I've been using tanning lotion (I've been tanning outside)... but I've been using it for about 4-5 weeks and this only started a week ago. Whats wrong?

Since you've been using the tanning lotion for 4-5 weeks without a reaction, it's probably not that.

Have you tried any new foods or drinks lately? Are you on a new medicine of some kind?

It might be a good idea to see your doctor to get checked out. If your doctor does think it's some sort of skin allergy, they can refer you to an allergist or dermatologist who will test you with common allergens to find out what it is. They can also offer you some cream for the irritation.

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13
omg theres this guy... we went out 2 times.. and i still can't get over him.. how can i find away to get over this guy.!

Since you only went out with him twice, there must be a reason. What is it?

Try dating other guys or reminding yourself of what fun the single life is by hanging out with your friends.

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Does anyone know of any good diet pills that actually WORK?!

Diet pills as a general rule are not healthy for your body so I would suggest sticking to watching what you eat and exercising. Many diet pills can only be sold to you if you're at least 18 years old, so that's something you may need to consider.

Here's a good link to an article about diet pills to help you make your decision.
http://www.diet-i.com/diet_pills/weight-loss-pills.htm

With that said, if you insist on using a diet pills, these are a few that I've heard good results with:

Note: Prices are from CVS. They may vary depending where you get them from.

Relacore-works by blocking cortisol, the stress hormone, which is believed to cause weight gain in the hips, stomach and thighs-It runs around $30.

Water pills-These go by various names but they all work by helping rid yourself of retained water. They can cause a loss of needed vitamins and minerals (ex: potassium) with extended use so I really wouldn't recommend them-They run about $5-10.

Trim Spa-These work by making your body hotter so it burns more fat as well as decreasing your appetite. Also provides some vitamins and minerals. If you do get this one, make sure to get the ephedra-free formula.-They run about $15-40 depending on which formula you get.

Metabolife Ultra-This is a mostly herbal diet pill that works by decreasing your appetite and
helping boost your metabolism. I've taken them myself before and they do work. However, the appetite suppressant worked so well on me that I had to force myself to eat so be careful.-They run about $30-40.

Dexatrim-Basically an appetite suppresant.-They run about $7-25 depending on which formula you get.

TwinLab Diet Fuel-An herbal diet pill that helps control appetite and burn fat.-$20

Apple Cider Vinegar Tablets-I've heard these work but haven't tried them.-$11

Green Tea Tablets-I've also heard these work good but haven't tried them.-$7

Starch or carb blockers-These basically are supposed to break down starches fast. Usually goes along with the Atkins or Starch Blaster diets.-$20 and up depending on brand and formula.

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18/female

Me and this guy have been friends for like over a year now and i have had a huge crush on him. I have told him about and left it at that. We are always hanging out. He tells me more stuff then he has ever told anyone. He is like a best friend to me. He flirts all the time with me and he is always holding my hand and cuddling with me but then he always is saying that he just wants to be friends well he dont act like it at all and he has gone out with my best friend and after she dumped him i started getting closer she tells me its fine and we talk all about it but i just think i need more advice everyone says he likes me but then he does the same exact stuff to other gurls and im just really confused about it if he does like me what should i do? please i need your help

It seems to me that he's not ready to make a commitment to dating you yet. Until he's ready to take that step, there's not much you can do other than be supportive and give him the space he needs to make the choice.

When he's ready to make a commitment to you, it will be worth the wait. You don't want a relationship where your partner is pushed into a commitment only to decide later that it wasn't really what they wanted.

Good luck.

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