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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm so tired of this. No matter what I do my step daughter goes and complains to my husband. I was cleaning some cupboards and my step daughter had 10 + water bottles cluttering up this cabinet. I removed them and put them in her room with a note asking her to go through them. She goes and complains....my feelings are hurt....I don't feel like she wants me here.....then my husband is down on me saying YOU act like you don't want "us" here! I've asked her that if she has a problem with things that I say or do to come and talk to me. She never does. She goes to "daddy" and it's not like she's a kid....she's 19 for Pete's sake. I've had it. What can I do to deal with thud. It's destroyed my marriage.

I disagree with Razhie on one point. Your step daughter while technically at 19 is a teenager. she is also legally an adult and should act like one. Playing the two of you off of each other is what young teenagers do not what adults do.

You do not say whether your marriage is the result of a divorce or the passing of his first wife. Your step daughter's actions say she resents the affections her father show you or is just unhappy he has chosen to remarry.

Family counseling is an option to consider as she will remain in your life for as long as you are married even after she leaves your home. What has to happen is your husband needs to realize she is playing him against you and it may very well be she is trying to destroy your marriage. Only she knows why she is doing this and a good counselor can bring this out of her.

Then it needs to be explained to her that playing daddy against stepmom will not be tolerated any more. That she is not a guest in this home it is her home as well and you are the person who sets how the home is organized and run. Since she is a member of the family and not a guest certain things are expected of her. That she keeps her own room, does her own laundry, she is more than old enough and she keeps the house as you have set it to be. Her room is her domain and she may keep it as she wishes.

Note: As my wife once told me if her room upsets you just close the door.

You need to get your husband to understand that she may be doing this purposely for her own agenda. For his part he is playing right into it. He needs to tell his daughter when she comes to him with these things to work it out with you he is not getting involved.

How much authority should I have as a stepmother? I ask this because I am the stepmother of a 15 year old boy. My husband (his dad) just got sole custody of him. (He alone because I was home with our newborn daughter). My husband has had me make major decisions concerning my stepson's health, education etc. He works long hours and for the most part, I am the one pretty much taking care of my stepson. Recently my stepson had a bad fracture to his ankle while playing ball. I was the one who took him to the hospital, signed his medical forms, etc. His mother found out and naturally got mad. I told her that I'm only doing what his father put me in the position to do. His father was out of town at the time and there was no way to reach him. My stepson's mother lives out of state and the #s I had for her were wrong #s. When my husband got back in town, he got mad at her and said that sole custody means that she doesn't get to have any say in their son's life anymore. I have told my husband that he needs to make more of an effort to keep her in the loop concerning their son. He always tells me: Since I have sole custody, that means you are his new mom now. I don't have to tell her anything. When I try to talk to her, she refuses to talk to me even though I just want to tell her that I have no desire to keep out of the loop anymore. I'm so confused by all of this. What should I do?

I will answer your question as to what authority you have first.

Since your husband has sole custody and you are the primary care taker of his son. You have whatever authority your husband has given you, for m caring for his health and well being to disciplining him.

That being said there are times, such as when he broke his ankle that you need the legal authority to care for him or act as his guardian. You and your husband need to meet with a lawyer and have the proper paperwork drawn up so that when necessary you can act in your husbands place. This would include when in need of medical or dental care or signing papers to allow him to take school trips or speak with teachers.

There was a time when verbal authority was sufficient to allow you to act as guardian, Today it is necessary for you and your husband to protect yourselves and the boy by making sure you have crossed all the "T's" and dotted all the "I's. Not doing so in my mind could give the boys mother grounds to sue for custody again even if as in the broken ankle you did the right thing by taking him to an emergency room.

Now for the second part. You are correct in the belief that the boys mother has a right to know how her son is doing even though she does not have custody. since she will not speak to you for you to set up some type of an arrangement to keep her in the loop. I would suggest while speaking with the lawyer for the paperwork you should have. Ask if he or she would contact her lawyer to arrange some type of manner for you to keep her in the loop. To express you feeling that she needs to be kept in the loop concerning her son.

Not knowing the whys and wherefores of their divorce it is somewhat obvious it was less then mutually consented to. For whatever reasons you are the villain or at least she sees you as one. A message form her attorney that villain or not you want to do the right thing concerning her son and her. This could go along way in making peace between the three of you. If she still refuses then you have tried and the onus is on her not you.

Good luck and may I say you are a good woman taking on another woman's child.

I am f 12 almost 13 and it is summer time and I have to go to bed at 8 curfew of 630 I think this is ridiculous and because of it have stopped being invited to parties and friend get togethers I have even tried talking to her and she says last year you went to bed at 745 u got a extension my early bedtime is mostly caused by my little sisters 8 wanting to go to bed the same time as me how do I talk to her

A mother of a 12 year old girl wrote us asking a very similar question. Below is the answer I gave her and she thought it was an excellent answer. Maybe you could show it to your mother and see if it will help you.

Your sister is 8 and there is no reason you should be forced to go to bed at the same time she needs to. You mother is indulging her and in a manner of speaking punishing you. You need to be allowed more freedom to grow and socialize as a teenager if you are going to be able to handle the new world you enter in middle and high school. Also make sure she sees the part about being teased and bullied at school that an early bedtime can put on you.

My answer to a mom.
Eight-thirty is a bit early for a 12 year old to be going to bed. Twelve is consider preteen and yes teenagers can sleep the day away if you let them regardless of when they go to bed. But as she says it is summer time, it is her vacation and 830 is really too early.

I would say most of her friends are still up at that hour and available to do whatever 12 year old girls do with themselves these day. Having a strict 830 bedtime means she probably has to be in the house by 730 to shower and get ready for bed. Bringing her in at that hour almost 2 hours before the sun goes down opens her up to ridicule that will follow her to school and make her life miserable.

A more reasonable schedule for her is to be home by sundown and in bed by 10. Just for the summer. Once school starts her bedtime should be adjusted based on 8 hours sleep prior to having to get up and get ready for school. She needs some time after school to decompress and relax then tackle her homework and relax again before showering and going to bed. This schedule is enforce Sunday through Thursday. Friday and Saturday you will need to adjust based on after school activities such as dances and eventually dating.

Your little girl is growing up. Next year she will be a teenager. She needs to be able to spread her wings and experience life with your guidance and being there for her if she falls. If you have raised her well and she has a good understanding of right and wrong then trust her until she loses that trust.

I've raised a son and helped my sister raise her two daughters. They have all turned out to be, in my view. outstanding adults. My one niece is a teacher, the other a homemaker with children of her own. My son a firefighter/Paramedic soon to add a nursing degree to his resume. Yes we made some mistakes along the way. My advice is made with the benefit of those mistakes so that you don't make them as well.

Ask mom to read this and hopefully see will see that each of her children need to be raised differently based on the needs of their separate ages and maturity. One of the biggest problems parents have is children do not come with a handbook on how to operate then like a new car does. we learn on the job and sometimes we need advice.

I taking trigestril pills should I break after finishing one pack or should I continue another immediately after finishing one pack even if my period don't start

Your doctor or pharmacist should have told you how to take this medicine and if in doubt you should ask your pharmacist.

In general birth control pills have a certain number of pills, usually a different color, at the end of the package. These pills are weaker than the rest or like a sugar pill to allow you to have a period. Even if you do not get a period when you finish the package, including the weaker or different colored pills, you move on to the next package of pills the next day.

You do not wait to have a period to start the next package. As I said this is the general dispensing instructions for birth control pills. TO make sure your pills are to be taken in this manner you should call your pharmacy and speak with the pharmacist.

A few weeks back, my father bought me a plane ticket to Pennsylvania so i can visit my LDR partner of 6 months. (I'm 16 y/o)

My mom doesn't want me to go, since i would be traveling alone and would be staying with them for almost a week by myself, and we've never met offline before (I've known them for just about a year online and we have video chatted on skype countless times and both my dad and i have met their mother and spoken with her more than once). My parents are divorced and i stay with my dad practically full time, even though i'm not supposed to, but i'll get into that later. Anyways, this is why my mother was not included in the decision of purchasing the plane ticket in the first place.

My mother got a judgement at the court house saying that I'm not allowed to leave the state, to prevent me from going. However, my dad spoke with lawyer who said that my mother made it sound like my dad and i are trying to move to PA, which is how she got the judgement, and that if we explain what's really going on that I should be allowed to go. We have a court date in 11 days (as of july 4th) to decide if i will be allowed to leave the state.

What i'm concerned about, is that i believe my mother has told the judge that we have not been following the custody arrangement (due to my dad helping me escape her abusive household, although she did not tell him that), and i'm worried that because of that, the judge will want to punish us and say i cannot go to PA because we haven't been following the custody arrangement. Could this happen? Is it likely to happen? What does the outcome look like it might be? (I'd prefer answers from people who have experience with this sort of thing, but all answers are welcome) Thank you very much!!

First and foremost I hope your dad is having a lawyer represent you in court. The court system has a language and procedures that are unique to itself. Having a lawyer represents you better your chance of having what you want the judge to hear be heard. I can almost guarantee you your mother will have her lawyer in court for she needed a lawyer to have to petition the court for a hearing to change the agreement restricting your travel.

That being said when the custody agreement was first written you were much younger, I assume. The courts in general will always give custody of minor children to the mother unless she can be proven to be unfit. While your still a child in the eyes of the law the court does not view you as much a minor as it does a young adult.

With a lawyer to have you testify you have an opportunity to tell the court (the court is the judge) why you are not living with your mother.) Since your mother has not forced you to return to her home, even if she has not given actual permission for you to live with your father, By not having you brought home by the police of dragging you home herself means implied consent. Meaning she is allowing you to live with him. The lawyer will get this point ac=ross to the judge without you moms lawyer objecting which he or she moist certainly will if your dad tries and does not put it in the proper manner.

The court will not punish you for living with your dad. The custody agreement is between your dad and your mom. You are the object of the agreement. They are the ones that have if anything broken the agreement by not following it and forcing you to live by the terms of the agreement. Frankly this is all legal BS as you are a human being not an object but in the land of the legal agreement you become the object.

If your mother and her lawyer has misrepresented the facts to the court; they are the ones in trouble for the court takes a very dim view of being an accomplish in some ones misdeeds.

This about covers most of what you have written. Now you write, "I stay with my dad practically full time" This is interesting for depending on how long this has been going on, I believe the court may believe the custody agreement has been Abrogated, meaning voided, since as I said your mother even if she has not approved by not forcing you to live be the agreement she has implied consent. Here again I would ask a lawyer to present this to the judge to see if the court would amend the custody agreement. with your testimony it is very likely the judge would allow your dad to have full custody or at the very least joint custody.

My advice is to try and get your dad to bring a lawyer to court. I believe it is in your and his best interest or I truly believe mom will have one. If she does the court will generally side with the lawyer.

I have three kids oldest daughter 12 only son 9 and youngest daughter 2 my oldest daughter 12 has a bedtime of 830 every day and it is summer so she always tells me but it is summer why does it matter when I go to bed what was your or your kids bedtime at this age

Eight-thirty is a bit early for a 12 year old to be going to bed. Twelve is consider preteen and yes teenagers can sleep the day away if you let them regardless of when they go to bed. But as she says it is summer time, it is her vacation and 830 is really too early.

I would say most of her friends are still up at that hour and available to do whatever 12 year old girls do with themselves these day. Having a strict 830 bedtime means she probably has to be in the house by 730 to shower and get ready for bed. Bringing her in at that hour almost 2 hours before the sun goes down opens her up to ridicule that will follow her to school and make her life miserable.

A more reasonable schedule for her is to be home by sundown and in bed by 10. Just for the summer. Once school starts her bedtime should be adjusted based on 8 hours sleep prior to having to get up and get ready for school. She needs some time after school to decompress and relax then tackle her homework and relax again before showering and going to bed. This schedule is enforce Sunday through Thursday. Friday and Saturday you will need to adjust based on after school activities such as dances and eventually dating.

Your little girl is growing up. Next year she will be a teenager. She needs to be able to spread her wings and experience life with your guidance and being there for her if she falls. If you have raised her well and she has a good understanding of right and wrong then trust her until she loses that trust.

I've raised a son and helped my sister raise her two daughters. They have all turned out to be, in my view. outstanding adults. My one niece is a teacher, the other a homemaker with children of her own. My son a firefighter. Paramedic soon to add a nursing degree to his Resume. Yes we made some mistakes along the way. My advice is made with the benefit of those mistakes so that you don't make them as well.

Female, 15
Hello, so I am not very close with my family. My parents and siblings I am, but not my cousins and aunties, those people. On my dad's side of the family I have many cousins and aunties, but I barely know them. They live in America, and we used to go there a bit when I was younger, but we don't really travel there anymore. I met quite a few of them when I was younger, but now I don't remember them, and on facebook we are friends but I don't even know them. My dad is disappointed in me because I said that I don't even know them so I don't see why they are my friends on facebook, and I know that my dad is close with them and would like me to be too, but quite frankly I don't even remember them. I don't see why just because we are blood related it automatically means that I have to be friends with them. My dad and my brother are now calling me selfish because I don't see them as my friends. They are saying that I'm not even making an effort, but my cousins aren't either it's not like they message me on facebook.

I feel bad about this and now I am beginning to think that I am selfish and rude. I thought that was one of my qualities, being able to think of others and their feelings and see their perspective but now they've been calling me selfish and I am doubting myself. What should I do? Now my dad is annoyed with me and my brother is criticising me and giving his opinion on me when I didn't ask for it. I also don't really have much in common with them because they like watching footy and things like that and I am just a teenager who is interested in other things like writing and fashion and things like that.

I am trying to better myself and find out more about myself and they keep calling me materialistic and selfish, and they make me feel like I am a bad person. I have been having self esteem and confidence issues which I am trying to overcome that they don't know about and them saying this to me is not helping.

I try to be selfless but I also want to keep myself and my emotions in mind. I try to make others happy. Am I being selfish for this?

While I am not going to fully take your side on this your father and brother are the most wrong in what you have written. Having a somewhat large extended family myself I can understand how you feel.

Unlike you once a month the entire family from Aunts and Uncles to second cousins gathered in the basement of an apartment building. The adults had reason to gather and while they did us kids were sort of left to fend for ourselves with the older kids watching out for the younger.

There was a great deal of disparity among us. Many were recent immigrants who did not speak the language well and lived in what we now called subsidized housing in the city. Those were the second cousins mostly. My first cousins who I really didn't know much better. We lived in the suburbs and we may as well have been different countries for as much as we saw each other between family meetings.

After all those year and all those meeting I remain in touch with just two cousins. My Uncle's son on my mothers side and my father's cousin's daughter. Why because we as a family saw them regularly.

So as you can see even though I know I have a big family out there someplace my actual family I remain in touch with I can count on the fingers of my hand and there is nothing wrong with this. Just because you are related through blood does not mean you will have a life time relationship.

TO build a relationship needs more than a few lines each week on social media. Relationships need interaction between you. Which in my case happened in my childhood with my two cousins. Today we live in three different areas of the country and stay in touch through emails and social media which we can do because we have the foundation to do so in a relationship built on interaction when we were young.

This is what your father and brother are not understanding. You may not be the type of person that can build a relationship over social media, not everyone can. Most of us can sustain a relationship in that manner once a foundation has been laid but not start and maintain one.

I have cousins, first cousins who live in England. They are the Children and grandchildren of my Grandfather's brother who remained in England after the war. I tried to start a relationship with them and their children but they were not interested. I was able to start a relationship with their Father before he passed away, my Uncle's son. It was a short time but he was able to fill me in on the connection that I was missing which I valued greatly. Frankly it was a fluke we got together for he found the letter I sent his daughter and decided to answer me.

I've told you all this to show you that you are not wrong though you are also not right. Friends will come and go as their life changes but family is forever regardless of where life takes you. Is it really all that hard to try and find one or two cousins that you can connect with who may be about your age.

Sure it will be a different type of relationship but you never know, one day when your older you may hear a knock on your door and guess who is there your cousin from the states took a holiday vacation to your country and decided to look you up. I wanted to do that with my cousin he lived in Manchester England but I had been involved in an Auto accident that left me disabled and at the time I could not travel. Had I been able to I would have.

Just think about it. Write a short open letter about what life is like for on a daily basis and send it to family only. See who write you back. Then go from there.

I get hating the terrorists but the terrorists are a very small minority. Islam is a huge religion. I am not a Muslim and I'm a lesbian too, but I don't blame all Muslims for Orlando, 9/11, Brussels, Paris, San Bernardino, etc. In fact I will never forget the time when I was younger (at the time I was 12), with my sister (who was 5) and my mother who was struggling to pay for stuff at the grocery store. While all the people in the line were looking around to see where they can buy their food quicker, a Hijabi Muslim woman not only gave us enough money afford it, but paid for the entire thing. And she went out of her way to do it too. So why do people hate all Muslims?

I think it is a bit harsh to say all people hate Muslims. You are part of ALL PEOPLE and you don't hate Muslims and neither do I. Hate is also a very strong word which has only one meaning.

What I believe is many among us distrust the Muslims as it is Muslims that are wanting to change our way of life. Yes it is a small number of Muslims that are doing this though they are a very vocal and dangerous number.

We as a people and I am not just talking about Americans, I'm talking about the human race. We have a tendency to paint an entire group with a single brush because of the problem created by a minority of that group. Here in the US we have a tendency to paint all minorities as criminals because a small portion of these minorities commit crimes.

Why do we do this. I wish I had a good answer, I don't. The best one I have is it is a protection mechanism we have to keep us safe. By paining all minorities as one and we avoid them we stay safe. It is not true but that is how some people are. It takes a person such as yourself to judge each group and each individual an their own to change this perception and to help others change their perception.

Don't listen to what others have to say. You are your own person, you make your own judgments. If everyone did this the world would be a better place.

If a man is taken xastin dexamethasome tablets often and often what will be the side effect

The information in the link provided should answer your question.

http://www.lifescript.com/health/centers/digestive/drugs/dexamethasone_oral.aspx

I was wondering how common it is for a husband who wants his wife to have sex with other men and a wife as in my case actually does do it. During the last several years I have had sex with several men at my husband's request. The past two years I have been with the same lover and am intimate with him several times a week. I have, with my lover's permission, created several videos of us having sex and my husband has watched them prior to us having sex. I would have never imagined that I would have ever done something like this however it is enjoyable for me and am glad I agreed to it.

How common is this? The word common is rather encompassing I would rather say it is not all that unusual especially as fantasy. Most men fantasize about sex with two women. Some fantasize about watching their wives or girlfriends having sex with strangers or friends of theirs. Then their are some like your husband that actually want their wives to have sex with strangers or have a lover.

When it comes to sex question I have one answer I include in all answers. As long as you are two consenting adults, the operative word is consenting. There. is nothing weird or strange about what happens in the privacy of one's own bedroom. If one partner says no then it doesn't happen. No is no and stop is stop. Even married couples can refuse a sex act and can say stop. IF forced or continued and one partner says no or stop it is rape.

It does not matter how common what you are doing is. what matters is that you voluntarily consent to doing this for him. Once you have consented it matters not whether anyone or everyone is doing it.

I am 12 almost 13 and I have had my period since I was 10 my mom told me everything before I got my period and she also told my that she hates tampon because they took her virginity I know that is not possible and so a few months ago at a gymnastics meet I used one of my friends tampons well now I have a swim team tryout and I need some tampons and no I cannot buy them myself because I have no store of shop to go to right away help please

Yes you need tampons if you are going to be on the swim team.

Today's teenager is better educated in the facts of life and human biology then your mother was when she was your age. She believes the Tampon ruptured her Hymen. It is possible that the tampon did rupture her Hymen because of her physiology or her mother never taught her how to properly insert one.

This may sound strange given your mother is just one generation older than you. At that time many girls still felt and some still today feel that if they lose their Hymen they lose their virginity. This is not true. Today's active teenage female can cause her Hymen to rupture through many of the athletics she may participate in. Running, jumping, swimming, Ballet, bike riding and many other sports.

Today and even when your mom was your age a female or male remained a virgin until the vagina is penetrated by a penis. Once this occurs for even a fraction of a second both the female virgin and the male virgin are considered to have lost their virginity.

You need to do one or both of what I'm going to suggest.

The first and easiest to do is to ask your coach to either write you mom or call her advising her that you need tampons so you can be on the swim team. I am assuming your coach is a female so you should not be embarrassed. Your coach I am sure has had this problem in the past as there are other moms who do not want their young daughters using tampons. Mostly because of concerns for septic shock from failing to change your tampon as required.

The second one is a bit harder for now you may have to educate mom on the facts of life concerning virginity and the loss of one's hymen. I have a feeling mom may know better but used this as an excuse to say no. So start with the fact that you can't swim using a pad and need tampons to be on the swim team. If she still insists it will cost you your virginity them you may have to explain things to her.

I would suggest you ask you coach to call her as this I believe is what may work better for you.

23/f, 29/m

My boyfriend made this comment about me trying out my new toner and he said, “why? your face is already breaking out. Wouldn’t that make you break out more?” Is that supposed to make me feel better? Is that supposed to be some kind of a joke? Because I don’t understand. He tends to make comments like this here and there. Does he expect me to not have a reaction to it? He subtly puts me down and it makes me lose my self-esteem.

The more I started thinking, I know that my counselor told me the signs and her thoughts on him not respecting my boundaries, but I guess that’s true. I keep thinking back on how he was hurting me during sex and I told him, “I thought you’re supposed to be turning me on, not turning me off.” And I said “ow” multiple times. He apologized and eventually stopped. He didn’t stop right away.

When I don’t give him a response that he likes very much, he ignores me or neglects me. Or he only sends me short responses until I apologize. He refuses to tell me how I feel. When I make a point like he’s hiding me from everyone and the relationship, he doesn’t answer. He tells me to be quiet while I’m talking. It makes me feel bad.

Whenever I tell him whatever he's doing doesn't make me feel very good and that he's not appreciating me or is being mean to me, he always backtracks and tells me that he's not being mean. That he supports my career change and he's encouraging me. Him encouraging me doesn't make every other comment or critic okay.

When I discuss something with him, he refuses to answer. When I’m upset, he acts extra affectionate until I act as if I’m okay again and then he treats me in a different pattern. He treats me well in person, but when he’s not next to me, he doesn’t treat me very well. He still makes those comments in person, though. Subtly putting me down.

He has this pattern of him being jealous of whoever I hang out with and he tells me that he’s suspicious. I haven’t done anything to break his trust and when I say that, he gets upset. So I think it’s a reverse psychology and maybe it’s that he doesn’t trust himself and he says it’s nothing like that and gets quiet and tells me he doesn’t want to talk about it.

I think the only person that should be worried, is me. He has done several things to break my trust and I haven’t done anything to him. I’m the one that’s paranoid and curious on who he’s hanging out with because he has broken my trust several times.

What should I do? What can I do?

Only judging by what you have written I would say that YES you are in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship. The fact that he purposely causes you pain during sex bothers me. There is nothing wrong with BDSM or S&M just as long as BOTH Partners are into it.

If one partner says no to a particular sex act or fetish it is not done. The other partner does not do it because they get pleasure from it. Doing so is sexual abuse and he can be arrested for it. The fact that you have told him NO multiple times and he continues worries me that is emotional abuse could turn to physical abuse as well.

The symptoms are there from what you have written that he is a controller. He is already emotionally abusing you. It is not that much of a step to physical abuse and you can be greatly harmed.

Normally I would answer with suggestions for you to think about and allow you to make up your own mind. I will make an exception in this instances and tell you that I believe the best course of action for you is to leave him even if it means moving back in with your parents while you find a place to live. The sooner you leave him or throw him out the safer you will be and you can start to rebuild your self-esteem.

I have some art galleries asking me to submit by sending in a CV artist resume but I've only been up at one store. I have a show in July. That'll make 2. I didn't go to visual art school; I went to theatrical art school, so I feel like I don't have enough material to make a resume. Any artists been in a similar situation with suggestions? Thank you.

I am not an artist and I have never made up a CV Resume. Why I am answering you is this.

Someone or some people are interested in your work and are asking for your resume. We all have to start someplace and people in the Art world are always looking for someone new and exciting they can support.

This being said my advice is when someone asks you for a resume you provide one. When someone asks you it means they have an interest in you. This is far different then you offering them a resume when they have not asked for it. Whoever is asking is going to look at your resume in a different light because they asked for it then I you sent one unsolicited.

I will offer some further advice. Never, never turn down a chance to promote yourself. When someone asks for a resume. Be it in the Art World or any other career field put one together and send it to them. You never know what doors that opportunity is going to open so do not pass up that opportunity.

My name is Rachel Strickland so I have been talking to this guy lets call him Jimmy Strickland and we are both 27how do find out if we are related before we start dating because their are a lot of different sets of Stricklands in my town?

It is quite possible you two are related but not immediate or first family related. If you don't share any first cousins or Aunts and Uncles you two can date and have a relationship including a sexual relationship without violating any incest laws or religious problems.

If you truly wish to see how closely you may be related a DNA test will tell you. Be aware though that this test is expensive but you will know for certain just how closely you two are related.

I am a 13 year old girl I just moved my family is somewhat poor at the moment and I need someone to talk to a friend. I have tried to walk around the neighborhood and all I find is happy old folks I need to find a friend my age and at the moment summer break so no school. advice on friends and keep in mind little or no cost

Ask mom or dad to call the local Park and Recreation Department. This is the agency of the local government that runs different programs throughout the summer generally at little or no cost for kids.

I know for instance our Parks and Recreation Department runs a number of different programs that would appeal to a variety of kids of different ages. Find a program they offer that you would like. By going to these programs you will most likely find kids from your neighborhood or at the very least will be attending your school.

Be friendly and out going bit don't force yourself. Just go with the flow and you should be able to make some friends.

I am almost 14 a girl and have been asking for an allowance since I was 10 or 11. My mom keeps telling me 'as soon as you start helping around here you might get paid or another remark that gets us nowhere. I am fine with no allowance but she doesn't let me earn money from her or anyone, I ask to babysit the little kid next door and she says no I try to ask her and no, no, no, what do you need money for. Well I'll tell u what I need money for. Today she took my early bday gift a 35 dollar gift card to buy food because she is wasting her money on weed so how do I reason with her do I go behind her back

You are living in a bad situation one where you need to step up and protect the little ones. If you live in a state where weed is not legal to posses then mom is breaking the law by possessing it and having it in the house. If for any reason the police come to the house and find the weed things can get very bad very quickly.

Do you have any Aunts, Uncles or Grandparents you can call to tell them mom is buying weed instead of food. I would think if you were to tell a relative this they would step in to make sure you and your sisters are safe.

If you do not have any relatives to call or do not know how to contact them; then you have to take charge to protect yourself and your sisters even though it might hurt to do so. You need to contact Child Protective services. (CPS) There are several ways you can do this.

1. Call 911 and tell them that mom spends more money on weed then food. That she took your money to buy food because she spent her money on weed.

2. Gather up your sisters and go to the nearest Police or fire station. These are safe havens for children. Explain about mom and there being more weed than food in the house. They will contact CPS. CPS will try to find your relatives or your dad to take you in as a group.

3. You are old enough that you can contact CPS yourself. You will find there number listed under you local or state government listings.

I'm actually old enough to be your grandfather and while I'm sure you love you mother. I can't be certain how much she may love you or your sisters when she puts buying weed in front of putting food on the table, giving you multiple dads to deal with or uprooting you and moving you about when the whim hits her. This is not good parenting, she brought you into this world and she is responsible to see to it at the very minimum that you have clean clothes, a decent place to sleep good food and good medical. You and your sisters come first, she comes last that is what parenting is all about.

Please follow my advice you deserve better.

Hey there. I'm a 21 year old female and I have struggled with bulimia off and on for about 4 years. It started when I got to college and used it as a way to deal with stress. I was dating a guy at the time and he was the only one who realized that I had a problem because I was mostly bulimic with anorexic periods mixed in so it was pretty easy to hide and I got very good at it. Leaning on my boyfriend and only my boyfriend made me very dependent on him. I should have seeked help much earlier on but refused to admit that it was a real problem until after we broke up. In a way I think this issue was part of our breakup. I have never been in counseling but I confused in my doctor and he will often put me on a very mild dose of Prozac when I'm going through a stressful time because my bulimia only really surfaces when I am stressed out even though I work out every day and do other stress management practices, I suffer from pretty intense anxiety and I really like the months that I'm on the Prozac but don't like being dependent on medicine. I'm not sure all of this is relevant. I suppose I just don't want to get any responses that urge counseling or other suggestions related to the bulimia because it is not really what I'm asking here.

My problem is I have been with my current boyfriend for quite some time now and he is the love of my life. But I keep these issues from him. Granted, the majority of our relationship I have had it under control and been completely free of bingeing and purging. I have been starting to struggle recently and have told my two closest friends and discussed starting on the medication again. And I feel guilty. Like I'm lying to him by not telling him what's going on. It's a deeply personal issue and I am so scared to tell him and have it ruin our relationship like the last one. And I know I know, if it's truly meant to be he should be able to work with me/support me blah blah I know this... But it's so difficult to work up the courage to tell him. It's the worst thing about myself and I don't talk about it anyone, ever, anymore besides my doctor or to let my friends know I'm back on medication (my doctor said this is a safe thing to do for antidepressants). I guess I'm asking if this is something that I truly need to tell him... and if it is, how? Because I physically don't feel able.

Any suggestions appreciated.

The simple answer is yes.

The why of the answer is this. If he loves you as much as you love him then he will be understanding and standby you. Remember if you are going to be life partners part of the contract of marriage is in sickness and health.

If you love someone you stand by them. You have to meet their help halfway at the very least. Being dependent on someone for staying healthy is not a proper corrective action. Going on and off Prozac is also not helping you get better. You finally hit bottom with the last breakup and asked your doctor for help. Now you have to take the next step to get control over the anxiety that bring on these bought of bulimia for this is not good for you either.

I believe the next step is not to tell your boyfriend right now but you will have to tell him eventually. The next step is to find a doctor who deals with eating disorders. This will probably be a doctor of psychiatry who will treat you for the anxiety and recommend you meet with a psychologist to find out why you suffer anxiety attacks. These attacks are triggered by something. In therapy with a psychologist you can work to find out what that triggers is. Once you find out what the trigger is you can manage it.

I can say this with a great deal of certainty as I have been there. I too suffered from anxiety attacks which through me into a deep depression. Working with a psychiatrist and psychologist I was able to learn what the cause or trigger was and I now recognize the trigger and manage it better. I no longer need to Cymbalta I was taking for depression.

As much as you do not want to hear about doctors and medication or therapy sessions this is what you need to do if you want to rid yourself of this problem. Once you have made the commitment to getting better then you tell your boyfriend.

Making the commitment will only take a few days or weeks to find the right professionals to help you. Once you start you can ask the psychologist when it would be right to tell you boyfriend. Your psychologist may even suggest you ask your boyfriend to come to a therapy session so that he or she can help you explain the problem to him.

In one sense I have been where you are. I have had the scars so to speak which are now long gone. Please trust me when I say you need to do this to get better you can't do it on your own.

My mom already paid for me to go to tumbling, but I want to go to this concert. But the concert is the same day when I go to tumbling. So which one should I choose? Tumbling or the Concert?

I'm sure mom and or dad work very hard for the money they earn. Since mom has already paid for the Tumbling, unless you can reimburse her for the Tumbling, you are obligated to Tumbling.

You may not like my answer but these are the types of decisions adults have to make all the time. Very often we commit to doing something for someone and then someone else comes along and asks us to do something for them. We've already committed to someone else but his other person is a better friend. What do you do. You say your sorry but you have other commitments.

There have been times when my wife and I have purchased tickets to something and find that something we like better is going to happen that same night. We then have to decide if we want to try and sell our tickets to the first, give them away or use them and miss the other.

The difference here is we earned the money so if we decide to just forfeit the money it is ours to do. In your situation its moms money and you at least have to have the ability to reimburse her and offer to reimburse her if you wan tto go to the concert instead.

This afternoon my family thought that it would be a good day to have a cookout. We had plenty of food left over and I decided to have the last burger we cooked before going to bed. Well, I noticed something sitting inside this pit that looked very suspicious. It looked like a cluster of eggs or larva. It wasn't moving or anything, but it made me a bit paranoid about what was in the meat we used to make the burgers everyone ate. My dad told me not to worry about it, that if it was some sort of parasite it'd be dead. I really don't feel good about it though, and I don't know what we should do. Should we just wait to see what happens??

I agree with Dragonflymagic in that as long as the meat was well cooked, to 165 degrees or higher which is well done, you have nothing to worry about. What I believe you may have seen were bits of bone or some tendon pieces which can look like eggs and larva if clustered together.

Next time you buy ground beef from this same store examine it closely before putting it in the refrigerator or freezer. Spread it out on a cutting board and see if you see anything like you saw in your burger. If it's bone it will be almost rock hard prior to being cooked. If you see any contamination at all take it back to the store or call the Health Department.

I am a 24year girl with poly cystic ovarian syndrome. I got diagnosed when i was 17years old. Commensement of my menarch was normal but after 2-3years irragularity took place. I do not get my periods more than 5-6months. Doctors do not want to operate as i am unmarried. I have severe hirsutism, obesity, drowsiness e.t.c. my problem is i feel so mascuiline. I feel like i am infertile. So whenever i hear my mother or other girls around me menstruating i get angry and envious. No matter how much feminine i try to make myself in deep inside i feel this disoriented gender. PCOS is tormenting me more psychological than physical. Please help.

I do not understand what not being married has to do with the doctors doing or not doing surgery. This is an elective procedure one which you decide to have or not have. Yes the procedure may mean you cannot have children in the future. This should be your choice not the doctors.

That is your body your decision as to have or not have surgery. I can understand a doctor's reluctance to in effect sterilize an otherwise healthy young female. Still informed consent is all that should be needed.

I have two suggestions for you.

1. This may sound extreme but it should help a doctor consent to doing surgery if this is what you truly want. Find a Psychologist or psychiatrist who will meet with you, you will need a number of visits. who will certify to a surgeon or a GYN that you understand the ramifications of the surgery and that they believe this surgery is in your best interest. This assistance by a psychiatrist or psychologist will or should help you find a doctor willing to do the surgery if this is what you want.

This may not sound right but doctors may feel that the mental anguish is overriding common sense. This is the reason they are reluctant to do surgery no matter how much you may insist.

2> Find a Board Certified Gynecologist to examine you. This is a doctor who has spent extra time in a fellowship learning the specialty of Gynecology. A Board Certified Doctor has past all the test required to be certified in a specialty and is the best doctor to see when you have a specific problem.

I can't tell for sure that surgery is what you want. IF it is follow my suggestions and I believe you will have the outcome you are looking for. Just remember it your body and your in charge.

I believe that once you get what you may want the other problems, specifically the obesity, will rectify as your self-esteem rebuilds.

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