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Will i be allowed to leave the state?
A few weeks back, my father bought me a plane ticket to Pennsylvania so i can visit my LDR partner of 6 months. (I'm 16 y/o)
My mom doesn't want me to go, since i would be traveling alone and would be staying with them for almost a week by myself, and we've never met offline before (I've known them for just about a year online and we have video chatted on skype countless times and both my dad and i have met their mother and spoken with her more than once). My parents are divorced and i stay with my dad practically full time, even though i'm not supposed to, but i'll get into that later. Anyways, this is why my mother was not included in the decision of purchasing the plane ticket in the first place.
My mother got a judgement at the court house saying that I'm not allowed to leave the state, to prevent me from going. However, my dad spoke with lawyer who said that my mother made it sound like my dad and i are trying to move to PA, which is how she got the judgement, and that if we explain what's really going on that I should be allowed to go. We have a court date in 11 days (as of july 4th) to decide if i will be allowed to leave the state.
What i'm concerned about, is that i believe my mother has told the judge that we have not been following the custody arrangement (due to my dad helping me escape her abusive household, although she did not tell him that), and i'm worried that because of that, the judge will want to punish us and say i cannot go to PA because we haven't been following the custody arrangement. Could this happen? Is it likely to happen? What does the outcome look like it might be? (I'd prefer answers from people who have experience with this sort of thing, but all answers are welcome) Thank you very much!!
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First and foremost I hope your dad is having a lawyer represent you in court. The court system has a language and procedures that are unique to itself. Having a lawyer represents you better your chance of having what you want the judge to hear be heard. I can almost guarantee you your mother will have her lawyer in court for she needed a lawyer to have to petition the court for a hearing to change the agreement restricting your travel.
That being said when the custody agreement was first written you were much younger, I assume. The courts in general will always give custody of minor children to the mother unless she can be proven to be unfit. While your still a child in the eyes of the law the court does not view you as much a minor as it does a young adult.
With a lawyer to have you testify you have an opportunity to tell the court (the court is the judge) why you are not living with your mother.) Since your mother has not forced you to return to her home, even if she has not given actual permission for you to live with your father, By not having you brought home by the police of dragging you home herself means implied consent. Meaning she is allowing you to live with him. The lawyer will get this point ac=ross to the judge without you moms lawyer objecting which he or she moist certainly will if your dad tries and does not put it in the proper manner.
The court will not punish you for living with your dad. The custody agreement is between your dad and your mom. You are the object of the agreement. They are the ones that have if anything broken the agreement by not following it and forcing you to live by the terms of the agreement. Frankly this is all legal BS as you are a human being not an object but in the land of the legal agreement you become the object.
If your mother and her lawyer has misrepresented the facts to the court; they are the ones in trouble for the court takes a very dim view of being an accomplish in some ones misdeeds.
This about covers most of what you have written. Now you write, "I stay with my dad practically full time" This is interesting for depending on how long this has been going on, I believe the court may believe the custody agreement has been Abrogated, meaning voided, since as I said your mother even if she has not approved by not forcing you to live be the agreement she has implied consent. Here again I would ask a lawyer to present this to the judge to see if the court would amend the custody agreement. with your testimony it is very likely the judge would allow your dad to have full custody or at the very least joint custody.
My advice is to try and get your dad to bring a lawyer to court. I believe it is in your and his best interest or I truly believe mom will have one. If she does the court will generally side with the lawyer.
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You need to understand that the judge is YOUR advocate and to protect you. Any ruling they have made is from their view of the facts of your case and what they feel protects you best. Some of these issues are ones you may not be aware of him having heard if you weren't physically present.
The judge has placed a no travel ban on you so that your father who doesn't have sole custody cannot abduct you and take you out of state and out of country and deny your mother her legal rights to see and have joint custody of you.
It doesn't matter what you think of her the law says she has that right. You may not be aware of the circumstances in the past but your dad may have tried to take you before or violated the previous order.
Something happened if he feels your father violated the agreement. The Short answer is that it's highly likely he will uphold his decision to not allow you to leave without his let alone your mother's consent the state. He also can put anyone violating that in jail.
Even if it is the truth that you have a LD relationship in another state and your dad knows parents or whatever the judge is apt to think this may be a ruse so dad can take you away and deny your mother's legal rights to see her child.
He may also think it sketchy and that you don't really know who the hell you are meeting and that this could be dangerous to just send a kid anywhere when those she is to meet could be anything but who they say. I would go to court and see what happens and ask to be heard. That's all you can do.
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It's unlikely that the judge will 'punish' you. It's possible, but family courts are more about enforcing existing agreements and the rights of the children and both parents. They are not really about doling out punishments, certainly not against you, the child.
It is possible the judge will not allow you to go because allowing you to go—without your mother's agreement to it—is against the custody agreement she has with your father, or against general laws regarding shared custody.
If the custody order says you need your mother's permission to travel a certain distance, or out of state, the judge will probably uphold that, and your father will face possible punishment if he allows you to go without her agreement.
A judge may be able to understand, easily enough, that your father and you don't intend on moving to PA permanently, but that doesn't necessarily mean you'll be able to go.
Just tell the truth, and let your father handle the rest of it.
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