I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 64996
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i need help i dont no if i love my friend or its just his a really good friend we muck around and i feel nervous around him and his friends sometimes im confused help please (link)
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Love is a really difficult thing to suss out. When I fell in love with my boyfriend, I didn't even realise it to begin with. I just went bright red and got all dizzy whenever I saw him. I went a weel without seeing him and felt like I was going out of my mind with desperation to see him again!!
If any of that sounds familiar then chances are, you could be in love. Do you think about him all the time and does it feel as though your heart would shatter if he wasn't around? Would you rather he was with someone who could make him truly happy, even if it wasn't with you?
If that's the case, that's true love. If you just really want to go out with him then you have a bad crush and you should do something about it! Try testing the water. Ask him if he has a girlfriend or what he does in his spare time. If he doesn't have a girlfriend right now, maybe you could suggest doing something with him sometime?
Then let it lead on from there! Good luck!
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well theres this guy in class he always loks at me he winks but he says his winking and other times he will like touch me or feel me like he grabs my hand or sumtimes he will put let on my leg like eh will feel my leg with his but he says his joking does eh like me or is it just a joke and he jokes around me aot all my friends say he likes me but i doubt it well does he or dosnt he ???? plz help :):)
love .hilda (link)
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It does sound like he likes you. Men don't tend to have physical contact with girls unless they like them. If you think about it for a second, right from when they are little, guys show affection or interest in another person by touching them in some way, whether it's a playful punch, pulling a girls hair or so on.
I doubt very much it is a joke. He probably passes it off as a joke as it's better to have you think this than have you realise that he likes you. It would make him too vulnerable.
If you like him too, you could try just playfully doing the same things back to him or, if you are feeling brave, you could ask him out. I know it sounds horrifying but he will respect you if you make the first move and who knows? It could be the start of a really great relationship!
Good luck.
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ive know nt his boy for awhile now, we met last year. he lives with my friend and there was a party that we were both at and he kissed me, a few times. and everything seemed fine. he would call me or i would call him until like 3 days after the party he hung out with his exgirlfriend now he wants nothing to do with me. and i really like this guy. what do i do? he doesnt get the fact his ex has a boyfriend, shes only using him. but he told me not to talk to him. did i do something wrong? (link)
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It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. It sounds as more as though he was never quite over his ex when he hooked up with you and then he decided that perhaps the grass was greener on her side of the fence, so to speak.
Unfortunately, there's nothing you could or should do in this situation, as he's decided his heart belongs elsewhere. I'm just sorry that he couldn't have been a little more respectful of your feelings at the same time.
To be honest, it sounds as though you are better off this way because although I understand you like him, it's possibly not a great idea to be with someone who cares so little about your feelings that he can dump you just like that. You deserve someone who will be nicer to you in the long run and you will find him. In the meantime, find yourself some ice cream and your pyjamas and have yourself a good cry. You'll feel better after you've let it all out.
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ok, where to start?.... ok i met this guy he started working at my job and in the begining i hated him abd wanted nothing to do with him, then he started showing intrest in me but at the same time my best friend too. he ended up asking me out one day and we hit it off. that nigh he had asked me to be his gf! i had said yes and everything was fine we were son into eachother and spending every second with eachother, soon he started throwing how my best friend was more his type and that he wanted to be with her but be with me at the same time! i told my friend that she was not to do anything with him but of course i cant be there 24/7 and i ahd later found out that they had did stuff! so i broke up with him. but i still had all these feelings for him. so about three weeks later he had asked me to be his a again and i accepted, like an idiot!! he started using me for my money and lieing to me but everytime i tried to break it off he would have a really good reason and we would try it again till he would dump me! then the same crap would happen again. like now he dumped me yesterday, cold and blunt just kicked me out of HIS HOUSE! and now im sitting here in pain wanting him back! i dnt know wats wrong with me i have never let any guy use me like this! i have such ddep feelings for him im scared to let him go cause i think he might change! wat do i do! hes gonna call me soon i know it! and im gonna give in help i dnt wanna be in the same position i am now! pls! thankyou (link)
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You poor thing!! He's really got you down hasn't he?
Here's the thing. Men like this will NEVER CHANGE. He might be better to start with but soon enough, he'll be back to his old ways. I know that you have feelings for him but he is scum and you really need to snap back to it and realise all this!!
Let's sum this up. You hated him to begin with (there MUST have been a reason for this and normally first instincts are correct!). He asked you out but then he wanted to see you AND your friend at the same time!?!? You object so he betrays you to see her behind your back and now he keeps dumping you and taking you back like a yo yo and you STILL want to go out with him?
I get it about bad boys. There's something about their self confidence which is alluring but you have to get a grip and some self respect because he quite clearly knows that you are at his beck and call. Whenever he wants you, for whatever reason, he knows you'll take him back. You need to remember the whole 'girl power' thing and let him see that he cannot treat you this way.
Normally, I would say you need to give him an ultimatum. Either be faithful or be without you but this won't work on this guy and he's not worth you wasting your heart on. So next time he comes back, you need to put him in his place and say that you want nothing to do with him ever again because you deserve FAR better than the cheating, lying scumbag that he is. Then leave it at that.
You are much stronger than you think you are. You just need to remember that you CAN say no to him and that you deserve to be treated far better than he would ever treat you. You will be fine and you will get over him. Most of all, you WILL find someone who deserves you.
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Is being forced to makeout sexual abuse in any way? For example, if you're making out with a guy and he doesn't let you pull away when you want to.
And if it isn't sexual abuse, then what is it?
I'm just wondering. (link)
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In a sense, yes.
It's not rape or anything similar because that only applies where there has been penetration. However, if anyone ever forces themselves on you in this way, it does constitute something along the lines of sexual harassment/assault.
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I have a bunch of friends, but I feel like since I am not in the same classes as some of them, we are sort of drifting apart. We don't have that much in common anymore, and honestly I don't always have the best time when I occasionaly do stuff with them (I used to enjoy spending time with them alot). I don't want to deliberatley end any friendships, but I just don't know where they are going. Is it worth doing anything over? Also, I am kind of annoyed because I don't really have a specific group of friends. I know it is good that I am friendly with alot of different people, but I kind of long to have a group of friends like alot of people do. (For instance my sister & her 3 best friends are all 4 really close, and there are alot of other girls who have groups where they are all really close.) I know that's not necessary, but I am just wondering if there's anything I can do about this? Thanks! (link)
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It's a sad fact of life that as we get older, our friends come and go like yo yo's. Basically, what you are describing is completely natural. You change a lot over the years and as you get older, you may find that the person you become and the people your friends become are just too different to maintain the same friendships you had when you were younger.
I expect if you look at your friends, they have very few friends in their social circle too. It's really just one of those things. It doesn't mean you will be lonely and friendless forever, it just means that you and your friends have sort of outgrown each other and it's time to make some new friends.
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15/f
i have a guy friend, who i talk to a lot and we have fun together in our group and stuff. i really like him and some of my close friends know too, and they all think that we would make a good couple, and so do i. i really like him, and he is super sweet and smart, just not the most flirtatious of guys, which may be one reason why i like him so much. anyways, we have a boy and girl sleepover tommorrow and later we have a dance. i dont know if he likes me that way or not, but i have no idea how he would show it if he did. My friends say that they see him "flirting" a little, but i just see him being a friend. is there anything i can do to let him know i am interested without making myself look foolish ,maybe at the sleepover or at school?
(link)
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You could see how he is when he talks to you at the sleepover. Does he spend more time talking to you than the other girls, for example? Is he particularly nice or jokey with you?
Gauge how he is and then, at the dance, ask him to dance with you. Most guys will only dance with girls they like so this will be a fairly good indication. Then, maybe while you are dancing, if you feel brave enough, you can tell him that you like him and were wondering if he felt the same way. If he does, then ask him out.
I always recommend that you ask a guy out yourself and never get friends or anyone else to do it for you. Guys respect girls who make the first move and can do it themselves so regardless of the outcome, you will look better for doing it in person.
Good luck!
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Ive got a essay to do, based on romeo and juliet but kind of different. Im really stuck on it can some one help? im home tutored so its hard to get help. here's what it says.. text in the brackets is what ive added in.
ROMEO AND JULIET - MURDER IN THE GRAVEYARD
you are a police officer and are called to a graveyard because of reports of a fight. when you arrive, the graveyard is in silence. you see a light coming from one of the vaults and go over to see what has happened. (so this is where juliet is as she appears dead)
At the entrace to the vault, you find some flowers lying scattered on the ground, two swords on with blood on, a pool of blood and a crowbar.
Your partner arrives with two other men who he has found hiding seperately in the graveyard. One man has a spade and a torch and the other has just a torch. Both of them are unwilling to talk, so you decide to them for further questioning. (the two men are friar lawerence and balthasar)
The vault entrance has been broken open and there is light coming from inside so you enter and walk down the steps. Inside you find three bodies, all of whom have recently died. The first body is male and is lying a short distance from the other two, he has a sword wound (Paris). the other two - male and female are lying together, the woman over the man. the woman has a knife wound, but the man has no visible wounds. by the side of them is an empty bottle and a bloodied knife.
1. Write up a police report on the killings. Your report should include:
-Who killed who?
-What weapons were used?
-What role the two unidentified characters had in the deaths
-Your thoughts as to why the killings took place [no clues for this are given, so the reasons for the deaths are up to you]
-The statements that the two men give to the police saying why they were in the graveyard.
[HINT: they are involved in the deaths!]
So thats what my task is... but i really dont know what to write! i have a few thoughts on some of the pieces but i really want to make it sound good and indepth!! Can anyone give me a little help on each of the points?
I RATE I RATE! ALL 5's :D thankyou xx (link)
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This is a great one!!
Take a look at things like newspaper articles for a little inspiration and try writing it in a similar text, for example:
"Date........ Victims names........"
State the weapons that were present at the scene and the bodies present at the time (including the injuries from which you suspect they died).
Then have a good think about the situation and think about what you would conclude if you had just arrived at the scene.
Would you correctly think that Paris had been killed in a sword fight, and that Romeo and Juliet met their untimely ends the way they did in the story? Or would you think perhaps that Romeo had been poisoned and Juliet had committed suicide, unable to deal with whatever penalty she had faced for the crime?
Perhaps you could provide different scenarios for what might have happened, ask any witnesses to come forward? Say that the bottle had been traced back to the Alchemist? The relationships between the characters?
There are endless possibilities. Unfortunately, I can't put it all into words for you. That's your job now but I hope I have helped to give you some ideas.
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When me and my boyfriend are together I can sense some tension, not like bad but like ackwardness floating in the air. How can I ease this and make it more comfortable for the both of us so we can just unwind and relax with each other and just be ourselves? (link)
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They say that the keys to any relationship are trust and communication and it sounds as though there are come feelings that aren't being effectively communicated.
Can you think of any reason for this tension? If it's not coming from your side of the relationship then perhaps there's something bothering him. Men don't often like to share their feelings and it can take a while to open up. Ask him how he is and if everything is okay because you have been sensing some tension betweem you and were a little concerned.
See what he says. If he insists there is nothing wrong, don't press the matter. Accept it and let it go for the time being. It might be that nothing is actually wrong or it might be he just doesn't want to talk about it yet.
If that doesn't work, try doing something that you both really enjoy but is also very involved. Go bowling or to a theme park or something similar. If you have some fun together, it should ease any tension or negativity and make you both feel a lot more relaxed.
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first of all is age 14 alright to be making out? but that's not as big a question as this...how far can you go before it is considered sex? like can the tops be off...but it still be making out?
i'll rate high thank you for anyone who answers! (link)
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There's nothing wrong with making out at 14.
The laws regarding underage sex are that there should be no actual penetration below the age of 16. Therefore, in theory, anything else is legal. However, I would recommend you be careful because it's very easy to get caught up in the moment when you've been doing...shall we say...other stuff and that was how I managed to lose my virginity.
The best recommendation I can make is that you do what feels comfortable but if you sense things might go further than you want or is legally acceptable, be strong enough to say no.
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please take the time and rean this i need help....im 14 years old and i have never been in a real relation ship people aways say im soo pretty and nice sweet caring but for some reason i say no to all of them i dont think i have enough courage to be in a relation ship i mean i want one sooo bad but i just dont wanna get hurt i dont wanna hurt any one and i think ill come on to strong or the will just use me for my and when i think im gonna give some one a change i freze up and say no i wanna be love im so sick of bein lonley
ThE_OnE_AnD_OnLy (link)
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I know it seems like everyone around you seems to be able to get into happy relationships but there's really no need to hurry. I didn't get into a serious relationship until I was 17 and I was happy with that.
The truth is that although relationships are nice and if you have one with the right person, they can be amazing and extremely fulfilling, they are also a LOT of work. I know you are lonely right now but 14 is very young for a serious relationship and a real commitment. Most guys your age won't be interested in a commitment right now and guys older than you will want to have sex, which you shouldn't be having until you are 16. I don't want it to sound like I'm being harsh but I want you to know that the reality of a steady relationship is that you need to have age, experience and patience to make it work because otherwise you won't make it through the tough times.
At 14 years old, all of that is a big responsibility and a lot to be taking on. If you meet a guy that you think is perfect for you then by all means go for it. But don't go out looking for a steady relationship right now. Find someone you like first and then see where it leads to.
You seem like a really nice person and I expect that when the time comes, you will have a brilliant love-filled relationship with a guy who truly deserves you but I'm a great believer in fate and it's possible that you just aren't ready for it now. Try not to worry about it so much. Put yourself out there, get involved in your social life and take up a hobby or two. Meet some new people and see what happens. Love will find you, just like it finds all of us but you can't force it. Give it time and it will happen. In the meantime, make the most of the freedom of single life.
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hey .. my name is michele (i'm on lauren's login thing). i'm 13/f. I know relationships aren't a big deal right now, but I really like this kid Frankie. We talk sometimes in school, but we don't have any classes together, but we talk a lot through texting and online. Sometimes it seems like he likes me, but other times I'm not really sure. I like him though, but I don't know how to tell him. I'm sure questions like this have been asked so many times, but should I tell him? or how can I tell him without worrying about being completely embarressed?
Thanks !!
(link)
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My personal view on situations like this is that you should almost ALWAYS tell someone if you like them. I say this because I made the mistake of not telling someone once and it took me a long time to get over the guy, wondering what would have happened if I had told him.
You don't want to be left, in time to come, wondering what he would have said or what might have been if you had told him you liked him. So wait until the moment is right and just mention to him that lately you have started to like him as more than a friend and you wondered if he could see you the same way. Wait and see what he says and if he says he likes you too, ask him out.
I would also recommend that you do this yourself. I know it's really scary and it's sometimes easier to ask a friend to do it for you but guys have more respect for girls who do it themselves and you will come across to him a lot better if you ask him.
Good luck!
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my mom has this mole on her stomach, its not that big but its not small. She said its starting to come off. and it turned gray and it looks all cracked and stuff. she has a bandaid on it now. does anyone know what this could be? or if she could die. i heard that if a mole comes off you could die? im not sure im just scared. anything will help.
thank
love Me
i rate good for good answers (link)
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It's not necessarily going to kill her because it has fallen off but she should see her doctor.
Malignant melanomas (cancerous skin moles) tend to be raised, hairless, itchy or tender and they tend to crack and bleed. If this sounds similar to what is happening to your mum, it may be best she see a doctor, just to be on the safe side.
However, I want to also let you know that although these are symptoms of skin cancer, it does not mean she definitely has it if she has a few of the symptoms, so PLEASE don't panic. Chances are, if your Mum thought something was very wrong, she would see someone about it.
For more information on skin cancer, try looking at http://www.skincancer.org/self_exam/look_for.html
This is a very good website for the information and detailed, with good pictures of what to look out for.
In the meantime, please try not to stress too much. I'm sure your Mum will be fine.
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There is this boy who has a girlfriend who always come to my house to play with my brother. He is so cute. when he comes over, he always flirt with me. I want to go out with him, but he has like 15 GF's. Besides, one of his girlfriends is my friend. I don't want to ruin our relationship. She knows that I used to like him. What should I do. (link)
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Unfortunately, men like this have worked out what sort of personality women are attracted to and they use it to their advantage.
I understand that you like this guy but do you really want to put yourself willingly into a situation where you're dating a guy who has so many other girlfriends he probably can't remember their name!?!? Would you really be happy sharing him with so many other girls?
I don't want to sound horrible to you so please don't take it that way, but you need to have some self respect and not allow yourself to be treated the way this guy treats women. You deserve a LOT better than that so make sure you go out there and find it. That way you will keep your self respect and your friend.
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Hello my name is Rachel. I am 13. I met this guy named Bret recently. Hes amazing and exstremly hott. We've been talking and he told me he likes me. But theres a three years age diffrence you see hes 16. So I dont know if were gonna date. Hes past girlfriends have been models and exstremly pretty..Its not that i'm ugly but I cant compaire to them. He tells this girl Mellisa that he loves her so much they talk all the time but they are just friends. I guess maybe i'm getting jealous easy. But I dont know what to do cause I really like him but i'm not sure if i have a chance or anything. Help Please? (link)
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Well if he has said that he likes you then I would guess you have a pretty good chance with him.
But be wary of it. For starters, although age shouldn't make a difference, while you are as young as you are, it does matter, because he will want an older relationship. He's legally able to have sex and will probably want to. For you it won't be legal for another 3 years. Will he want to wait that long or will he encourage you to have full sex?
Clealy he does have an interest in you but PLEASE think carefully about what you want from the relationship and where it might lead before you get into it.
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Alright. So for about three years i had the same best friend. We were really close and nothing ever got in between us. After three years though, i met another girl who kinda took her place. We were best friends for about a year and a half, but then i met ANOTHER girl who also took the place of my other best friend. After a very short time, me and that girl got too much of each other. I really dont know what to do. It's like i can't have a best friend but i always have at least 5 really great ones. Can anyone relate or give advice on how to get used to my best friend's flaws? (link)
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I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of the term 'best friend'. It's just a way to judge one friend against all your other friends and I don't see why it has to be that way.
As we get older, we make and lose a LOT of friends. It's unfortunate but it's just a fact of life. Rather than struggling to see things differently to how you do now, accept that you just haven't yet found a friend you can really stick with. It may be as you get older, you will be more accepting of other people's flaws but until then, you should carry on being friends with as many different people as you can and if they leave your life, try to just accept it as one of those things, rather than a failing on your part, because it's really not your fault.
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Hey I am 16 and me and my bf have been going out for a long time. I am thinking about getting birth control pills but I dont want to tell my mom. Is there some doctor I can talk to with out having to have my mom there. (link)
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If you go to your GP and can get a bus there or get a lift from a friend, your doctor cannot break doctor/patient confidentiality once you are over the age of 12. As long as you go alone, there's no need to worry word will get back to your Mum.
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Well, a month or two ago, I pulled a muscle in my back while I was rock climbing (I was being stupid- toally my fault). Well, since then, my back as continually been hurting. I went to my doctor, and he just told me to do "back strengthening excercises" which, thusfar, have not helped at all. I'm getting really tired of not being able to bend down a lot or even jump on a trampoline- I'm only 16, for goodness sake! And I feel like an invalid! Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to help get my back working right again? (link)
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It might be worth going to see a chiropractor.
They're seen as an 'alternative' form of physical therapy so not often recommended by sceptical doctors. However, I know that in the past when my back has been hurt, I've been to see them and they've worked wonders.
Find out where your most local centre is and see if you can get an appointment. There are a couple of different kinds of treatment and it will depend what sort of problem you have with your back as to what treatment you receive. For example, if you have thrown a vertabrae slightly out of joint, they may do some bone work on you (this is a little scary the first time you do it but there's really nothing to worry about as long as they are a licensed practitioner). On the other hand, if you have damaged a muscle, they might choose to do deep tissue massage.
They will want to do an assessment first and prices vary but it's well worth a try if you're in a lot of pain.
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hey my names melissa fatato in 14 years old theres this kid chris that im like in love with but he has a girl friend and he likes me but he doesnt wanna break up with her so he wants to cheat on her with me but i cant do that because i would hate it if some one did that to me but i cant stop thinking about him what should i do?!?!
ThE_OnE_AnD_OnLy (link)
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There's really only one thing you can do. You need to make him make a decision. He can either have you or her. He can't just have his cake and eat it too!!
If you were to agree to let him see you AND her, knowing that it was going on, you would basically be letting him use you and I'm sure you have a lot more self respect than to stand for being the third wheel in a relationship.
So you need to tell this guy that it's her or you and then deal with the consequences.
On a side note, I know you say that you're in love with him but I do really want you to think about this carefully. Suppose you were his girlfriend. What is to stop him from treating you the same way? Yes, he says he likes you but what if he's with you, find someone else he likes and makes them the same offer he just made you? You wouldn't even know about it and given the fact he's already tried this on, I doubt he'd have problems doing it again.
So please do think about it before you make your decision.
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I was wondering were i could find a penpal (to like talk to through email or aim)
or if any GIRL who types nice would like to be my penpal
(even though the word penpal is pretty stupid more like friend.)
and im 13/f by the way.
(link)
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When I was at school, we got set up on a Penpal scheme called Letternet.
It's actually a German based company so whoever you had as your penpal would be German but it's great to do because you learn about a whole new country and culture as well as finding someone to talk to. If you are interested, go to http://www.deutschepost.de/dpag?check=yes&lang=de_EN&xmlFile=52008
You can sign up there to get a Penpal.
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