You realize this sounds like crap don't you? I find it hard to believe the whole school is against you or even cares about one rumor soooo much, let alone another one about yogurt. If there really is such a bizarre and otherwise boring group of people that have nothing better to do than dream up ways of hating you, then you need to move to somewhere normal. I am serious. I don't want to hear about some third stupid rumor about you.

It is now or never. Present your case and all your feelings before it is too late. You cannot really control the outcome, but you will really regret it later if you did not at least try.

This guy is so full of bull! You and your friend are playing right into his hands by putting up with his nonsense. Guys are not emotionally turmoiled, they just want to do more than one chick and avoid commitment. Just because he says what you want to hear, don't believe any of it. He is playing you like a fiddle. We all want to believe stuff that makes us feel good, but in the end if we realize we are being misguided and used, we must stand up for ourselves and come back down to earth. Go by his actions ONLY, and not his words. The truth is in what he does, not what he promises.

Forget them and go for girls F & G...they are so cute! Kidding...A is out for now. B is too special and you don't want to break her heart. C is so yesterday! D is waiting for a sign that you will commit. E will never amount to anything!

Moving on this your life is about taking chances, not hiding in a closet or joining the nunnery. Life has no guarantees, except for death. Failure is a strong word, and change could be substituted in place of fail for many circumstances. All aspects of life change...maybe not in ways we thought we wanted at the time, but sometimes they open new opportunities we are grateful for. Sweetie, you are much to young to give up on love. You just need to adjust your perception a little. Romantic love is not supposed to find you yet, because you are not ready. You have a lot of growing to do and experiences both good and bad to encounter and bring you new visions of who you can be. This is a time to explore, take chances, learn, create, grow, experiment, and have fun most of all. A good way to not get too hurt is to not set yourself up for disappointment by having unrealistic expectations of what dating should be. Boys are not men, and they have very boyish ways, that can be charming, yet superficial. Get to know the ones that seem more in tune with your level of development and intellect and you'll be less discouraged. Don't expect any guy you date to be "the one," just let him be the one for now, and know there will be many more boys and eventually men that will dazzle and disappoint, but will not destroy you. I am sorry your parents have divorced, but that does not mean that they have failed you. They may be doing the best for themselves and you. Only the two people who are married have a clue about the relationship. The rest of us on the outside can only guess, and there is no point of that. Give this guy a chance, but more importantly give yourself a chance...as many as you need!!!

I'm short on miracles right now, but is there another parent chaperone who is going whom they do trust? You might even try to get a teacher to call them or send a letter home telling them that she will make you check in more often or something like that. Ask a teacher for advice. Also, is there an Aunt that would go as a chaperone? If it is only one hour away, another possibility is going just for a day or during the day, if you can get transportation back for the night. If I think of anything else, I'll add it later. Good luck!

You obviously have a high metabolism and just like any other inborn trait and physical condition predetermined by out genes, it is nothing to apologize for. If it makes you uncomfortable to eat more than others, then either eat more beforehand or plan to eat later. You can even bring your own meal bars or have some stashed in your car or purse. If you are healthy and do not have a hyperthyroid condition..which is only determined by a doctor, then do not stress over it. Protein foods are most filling, so be sure you are getting plenty of those foods and staying hydrated. Most of us are so jealous of you!

I think notes are cheesy and putting anything in writing can backfire and be used to humiliate you if it does not work out. Just casually ask him if he would like to hang out sometime after school or on a weekend. Find out something you both have an interest in first, and you can go do that together. Is there a new movie or restaurant or activity you both would like to go together? If it is too much pressure to go out just with him, try a group of your friends and a group of his friends hang out, or at least a double date...you could say you want to set another couple up, and just go "as friends"...pretty sneaky, eh? Good luck!

This is difficult to assess, because I don't know the entire situation, like your ages and living situation. It is probably just a crush, and will fade out over time. Sometimes feelings get confused and because you know he is not blood related, the possibility of something more is in your head. How would you feel if everyone knew about your crush on your own step-brother? Are you over 18 and living on your own? Even if he returns the crush, it may be best to use self-control if you are underage, living with parents, etc...There are thousands of guys around you that you are not giving a chance to get to know, because you have this other fantasy. Give the young men who are not in the family a chance, before you enter into something that could be damaging to your family relationships and yourself.

He is not exactly what you are looking for, or you would not be asking for advice. You and he want different things. He wants a to be free to fondle whomever he feels like and not be tied down to one girlfriend or have to take her out on dates and spend time and money with her when he could just be getting physical. You want a steady boyfriend who is faithful and adoring and eager to go out with you! Am I wrong? Holding hands etc. with a hot guy is exciting, but it does not transfer into a relationship. You should never feel weird about talking to a guy that you have already been touchy with and it is too bad that you feel that your true feelings would only bother him. What is it you want? Do you want to let him dictate what kind of relationship you have with him, or do you get a say in the matter? If you continue to be the girl that gives it away without a commitment, then it is doubtful you will meet the guy you really want. You will continue to attract and be used by guys who are looking for the easy score under this phrase, "friends w/benefits" which is something girls are settling for when they don't believe that they are worth more. Start believing it and demanding it. Don't ever sell yourself so cheaply.

My hair is the same as yours. The best way for such fine, straight hair to hold styles is for the hair to be a little damaged...color processing or highlites by a professional will expand the cuticle of the hair itself and make it fuller and will help styles hold. If you don't or cannot do this, then you can try starting with super clean hair using shampoo and conditioners that are lightweight and made for fine/thin hair to add body. Then use a thickening mousse. There are setting lotions available, but I've never used them. I hairspray my hair prior to using a curling iron and it helps the curls stick...just be careful not to leave the iron on your hair too long. Frizz can occur when you don't start from the very tips of hair before curling, or from excessive blow drying, split-ends, or overly dry hair. You might want to try big electric rollers and spray with hairspray before letting them out. Do not brush out curled hair or you will get frizz. Use a giant toothed pick and use it softly. Hope it helps.

Trust that the coach knows what he/she is doing and that you are good enough. Has anyone told you or have you actually overheard anyone speaking about you as not good enough? Do you worry about not being good enough in general. You will allow yourself to become more confident if you focus on your goal and not on your fears. The fear of being judged was probably always with you, or put on you in a dramatic way, for you to be worrying so much. We choose how to filter information and how to process what we know about ourselves and the world. You can choose to be okay with yourself no matter what anyone else may say, and that includes the good and the bad. We were never meant to please everyone and no one can please us all the time either. Decide to do your best and be happy with the results. If we constantly seek anyone else's approval, we put ourselves in a vulnerable position when they approve or disapprove, because either way, we have given up our power. Claim back the power to be happy for yourself and be your own judge.

You HAVE to stand up for yourself and tell him to back off and start pulling his weight. It will only get worse if you allow him to continue. Speak up and tell him you are not going to take orders anymore.

Oh those cute dumb guys...they are everywhere! Well, you are going to have to be obvious if he is not taking the hint. This means telling him you kinda like him. I know it is scary, so decide if he is worth it, first. Also, make sure he is not trying to ignore your signals, because he is not interested. That would make you the dummy! We don't want that!

It is not your job, responsibility, or within your power to help your mom with all of these issues. You can only be her daughter, not the counselor or savior. She does need professional help if she is an alcoholic, and she is going to have to want the help in order to change. You might want to ask your dad if you can stay living with him, providing he is sober and able to care for you. Sometimes a parent needs a wake-up call to get help and to do the right thing. You have a right to cause a fit as far as I am concerned, but you know your situation better than me. If you want help and support from people who are experts on alcoholics and can give you better answers, then find a support group for children of alcoholics no matter where you end up living. I know you love your mom, but if she is under an enormous amount of stress and cannot take care of you, I want you to know that you still need and deserve care. You are very young and need sober stable parents. Talk to a counselor or teacher at school about your situation immediately and ask them to help you find support for yourself and your family. Keep in touch.

Yes, you can be the target of their lewdness even if you are in a different social group at school. If you are dressing in a sexually revealing way then you are putting a message out that you want attention. If you don't like the kind of attention your clothes are drawing, then fix it by changing your outfits to reflect the message you want people to see. Our clothing and appearance in general communicates something about us and is an unspoken but loud visible sign to others that does have a meaning. We all choose what message we want to send about ourselves. The messages can be: "I am sexy." "I am tough." "I don't care." "I am so cool." "I think I am better than you." "I am a friendly approachable person." "Stay the bleep away from me." "I fit in." "I don't want to fit in." ETC!!! Everyone with vision judges and makes evaluations with the information that they see first and foremost. It takes a lot of getting to know someone to go beyond an appearance. Is your appearance in alignment with what you want it to say about you, or is it an obstacle to the real message. Whatever you choose to wear, it should be a consistently true reflection of the internal you, or you will be misrepresenting yourself. The colors we choose and the designs and the way our clothes fit all reflect our internal feelings about ourselves and the world, so be aware of your appearance and take control of your image.

He wanted and already planned to break up with you, but you took control of the situation and basically outdid him by breaking up first. That was probably because you were hurt by his plan to break up when you go to college and you made what is called a preemtive strike. You really did not want to break up with him at all, but since you basically were told that he was planning on dumping you, you did what you could to save yourself from feeling unwanted by proving that other guys do want you. Your boy would have liked to continue to have total control and decide where and when to end things without having to see you with anyone else. I think he got what he deserved in a way, but I know you really don't want to lose him. Maybe you are hoping he will rethink losing you now that he is jealous. You stood up for yourself and took control of the situation, but besides proving that you are able to still attract other guys, you have to face the fact that you are still most likely not to continue the relationship with the boyfriend and you need to let yourself mourn the loss of it, before you can really move on.

The romantic fantasy of the unknown has fades. You have become familiar with him and know him more as a person...faults and all. This is not as exciting as the first feelings of falling into love, but it is a normal occurance. At this point some people choose to pursue other people, because they only want to experience the highs of new love and not the deeper love that long term relationships can bring. Love develops and becomes strong when two people decide to love in a committed and unselfish way. Falling in love is not really love, it is about sexual attraction and sometimes friendship, too. Only you can decide what to do from here, but if you don't want to commit to him and deepen the relationship, it is pretty much over.

What would be the real purpose of exposing your feelings? You need to know before you put yourself in a position that you cannot take back. Once words are said, they are out there for others to judge. Feelings do not constitute a relationship and unless you want to be just one of his many girls that come and go, I would stick to being friends. That does not mean however, that you cannot date him when you think he is mature enough and wants to have a girlfriend. You might hint that you think he'd make a great boyfriend if he could commit to one girl!

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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