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How to deal with the masturbation in library rumor
Hi, it's me again. I'm the woman who was studying in the Columbia law school library (and this student, cynthia, told everyone that she saw me masturbating in the library).
Obviously, I wasn't masturbating in public, and the situation is really embarassing because it has gotten out of hand--literally, it seems that about one-half of the law school students in this city think that I was masturbating in the library and believe her.
I haven't confronted her or any of the dozens of women whom I have heard repeating this rumor (because I live in the area of columbia, I have to run into law students on a daily basis, unfortunately).
Today, while I was riding the subway from the gym to my apartment, I overheard a girl telling her friend, "That girl is schizophrenic. She was masturbating in the library. Definitely, something is wrong with her."
I'm _SO_ tired of hearing this over and over everyday. All my friends told me NOT to confront anyone about it because they believed that showing a reaction would only "add fuel to the fire" and "make you look crazy if you actually address the rumor to anyone speaking about you."
However, ignoring the rumor repeated on a daily basis (overheard by me) for seven months has not mitigated the situation/drama. I still hear it repeated on a daily basis, not once, but at least two or three times a day. It's sort of starting to annoy me--I thought that it would die down by now, but it obviously hasn't.
I don't know what to do. My friends and family told me, "Just ignore it. People can't be so immature or foolish as to believe it. They'll eventually find something better to talk about." But, the situation hasn't changed. In fact, the spread of the rumor has only intensified. On a daily basis, I have to hear my name and "masturbating in public" in the same sentence on a daily basis.
How should I gracefully deal with this situation without further jeopardizing my reputation? I'm afraid of confronting the women who talk about me, because I know that they will just make matters worse by spreading more rumors about me.
On the other hand, the "sticks and stones--ignore the rumor, hon" advice that my friends gave me obviously isn't working, seven months after the rumor originated.
Lastly, I had to deal with another ridiculous rumor a few years ago. I was in an all-female program, and in the beginning of the year, a woman spread a rumor about me that I was a "clepto overeater" because I ate two yogurts from her fridge while I was staying over at her apartment for the weekend. (She sent a mass email to the entire program that I was a "bitch" and that i was a "clepto overeater" and never to invite me over to anyone's apartment because I will eat their yogurt in the morning if i'm staying overnight. And for the rest of the year, women would whisper about me being "a bitch who stole people's yogurt when they are in the shower" if i stay over at their place for the weekend. (She told me to help myself to her fridge. After she came out of the bathroom, I apologized when I saw the angry look on her face and told her I would replace the yogurts later. She just shook her head and then sent an incendiary email the next day to the program listserv.)
Seriously. I'm not the best person when it comes to handling situations with angry women very well. How should I deal with this situation? Ignoring it hasn't worked. I just want people to stop gossiping about me. (I'm really nerdy, and not that interesting.) Any advice would be appreciated... THanks! :)
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Okay I don't believe this at all and I think you should stop trying to get attention because you've posted the same thing like 5 times and you are obviously a crazy person. Even if it was true, who really gives a shit if you are masturbating in the library?
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You realize this sounds like crap don't you? I find it hard to believe the whole school is against you or even cares about one rumor soooo much, let alone another one about yogurt. If there really is such a bizarre and otherwise boring group of people that have nothing better to do than dream up ways of hating you, then you need to move to somewhere normal. I am serious. I don't want to hear about some third stupid rumor about you.
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Damn that sucks! If it were me I would definitely had said something by now. It obviously hasn't died down, and if people are still talking about it then you might as well try your alternative and talk to some of the people about it.
Being shy and not discussing it with people might lead them to believe that you actually did do it and you were embaressed because you were caught.
Go up to the girl that started this whole thing, and let her know that she truly ruined your college experience by doing this, and ask her why she did it. If the nice thing doesn't get along so well then just start being bitchy to her, if she isn't even going to be mature enough to talk about it with you, then she doesn't deserve your respect.
Also, when you hear people talking about it, go up to them and be like "by the way, that never ACTUALLY happened..and its sad to see neither of you have lives, 7 monthes later, and are still talking about the same thing" and just walk away. They'll be embaressed that you heard them talking about you, and you'll show that you're confident in yourself and you're not going to take anymore bullshit from people.
And as for the whole yogurt thing, what the f***!! it's YOGURT. Do these people really freak out that much for you eating one of their dairy products?? That just sounds incredibly stupid and I wouldn't even bother with that...they can just shut the hell up and eventually forget about it. Or you can confront them, but to me it's just not even worth it.
If you get shy, just swallow your fears and do it anyway.
A good quote
"Do everything you're afraid of doing"
Good luck!!
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