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My family is so screwed up 13/f
I'm so depressed now a days. I just started this new school that I like so far yesterday. I've made a lot of new friends already and have been getting along great.
A bit about my family: My parents are divorced but now are living together. Not for sex or anything, we just needed some where to live so my dad let us stay with him. I just moved to Orlando, Florida from ATL, Georgia about 2 weeks ago.
Okay, so, I'm in the bathroom straightening my hair and my dad is in the living room talking on the phone. My mom's out, and she won't tell me where she's going.
I hear him talking to a realtor because the landlords are kicking us out December 1st because someone is moving in. He's talking about how she's all messed up and goes out and drinks, and how she shouldn't be doing that when she has a kid to raise. I started crying because, well, that's just kind of hard for a kid to hear when she had no freakin clue WHAT her mom is doing.
Now i'm so worried about her. She will never talk to me when I bring up drinking because she divorced my dad because he was an alcoholic.
NOW! she wants to move TO A DIFFERENT STATE AGAIN when December 1st rolls around, forcing me to start over again at a new school. THATS THREE SCHOOLS IN ONE YEAR! that's alot for a 13 year old girl to go through, don't you think? She won't even let me talk when it comes to that subject either.
I love my mom so much and she's my best friend, but I feel like I don't know her anymore. What do I do, how do I help her, and how do I get my opinion across without causing a fit?
Thanks in advance
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I'm really sorry to hear that. Write your mom a letter and tell her how you feel. Your whole family is going through a lot right now, and she probably feels lost and alone. Let her know that you're there for her, but that you need someone to be there for you too because it's just as hard on you as it is on her. Let her know that it hurts you when she goes out drinking. A lot of times parents don't see what they are doing to the kid unless you tell them (although they should). I'm sure it's tough for her to be living in the same house with her ex, and she may feel she needs to get away. Ask her if you can get some family counseling. You shouldn't have to worry about her problems, you are just a kid, and you should be able to live in a stable environment. Let your parents know that you don't want to move again. If you can't talk to them, writing them a letter would be a very good way to get your point across. That way you can think of everything you want to say, and make them sit down and talk with you about it, like a family meeting. I hope this helps, and if you have anymore questions or if you just want to talk please e-mail me. Good luck with everything. <3 Dana
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It is not your job, responsibility, or within your power to help your mom with all of these issues. You can only be her daughter, not the counselor or savior. She does need professional help if she is an alcoholic, and she is going to have to want the help in order to change. You might want to ask your dad if you can stay living with him, providing he is sober and able to care for you. Sometimes a parent needs a wake-up call to get help and to do the right thing. You have a right to cause a fit as far as I am concerned, but you know your situation better than me. If you want help and support from people who are experts on alcoholics and can give you better answers, then find a support group for children of alcoholics no matter where you end up living. I know you love your mom, but if she is under an enormous amount of stress and cannot take care of you, I want you to know that you still need and deserve care. You are very young and need sober stable parents. Talk to a counselor or teacher at school about your situation immediately and ask them to help you find support for yourself and your family. Keep in touch.
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