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boyfriend trouble
I love my boy friend a ton. we have been together for a year & 10 months as of today. I am now a senior in high school.my boy told me a few weeks ago that when we go to college we will completly break up kas he doesnt want to do the long distance thing when we r only 45mins away.
last saterday i met this other guy nick & gave him my number. with my boys approval i went to the movies w. nick & his friends. then my boy started getting all mad at me and throwing fits. we got in a fight yesterday and almost broke up. then today i told him i wanted a break kas i wanted 2 see nick again, also because of the break up thing, & some other small reasons. my boy was really upset and im afraid i made the wrong choice by wanting a break? please tell me what u think.. im so upset and confused. my boy is my best friend & i love him very much but i kinda wanna see whats out there... is that wrong?
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No, it's totally not wrong at all to want to go out and experience new things and meet new people. You're just living life.
And besides, your boyfriend's the one whose sitting there telling you you guys are going to break up soon ; who tells their girlfriend that? You do need this break to see who else is out there for you, and exactly how much feelings are there for your boy. Because, in the end, you guys are going to break up anyways, so why not find a guy to hang out now before it happens? You're just going to be doing what couples do when they break up ; find someone else. So I would think of it basically as he put himself into this whole situation by sitting there telling you two were gonna be broken up by the time college comes around.
If he really likes you that much to be getting upset that you guys are taking a break and everything, then he should be willing to try and work out a long-distance thing because he wants to see you and hang out with you and still date you. If he's not going to work at the relationship between the two of you, it's obvious how much he "cares".
I suggest just remaining friends with him, and like I said, live life and see what else is out there, and meet new people, experience new things, and just always remember it's his lose. Just because he didn't want to do the "long-distance" thing, he's obviously not that commited in a relationship.
I hope I helped.
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no its not wrong to want to experience other things and people although if you told him the reason you wanted a break was because you wanted to see nick then he could get the idea you cheated on him. im not assuming that at all because ive been in your situation but we didnt go on a break i kept my boy .. but we havent been together as long (1 year 3 months) if you like nick them be friends with him dont let your boyfriend keep you from your friends .. thats really unfair that he said he wants to break-up at the end of the year .. thats unfair and pointless. i think you should have a SERIOUS talk with him about everything! =] hope i helped
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He wanted and already planned to break up with you, but you took control of the situation and basically outdid him by breaking up first. That was probably because you were hurt by his plan to break up when you go to college and you made what is called a preemtive strike. You really did not want to break up with him at all, but since you basically were told that he was planning on dumping you, you did what you could to save yourself from feeling unwanted by proving that other guys do want you. Your boy would have liked to continue to have total control and decide where and when to end things without having to see you with anyone else. I think he got what he deserved in a way, but I know you really don't want to lose him. Maybe you are hoping he will rethink losing you now that he is jealous. You stood up for yourself and took control of the situation, but besides proving that you are able to still attract other guys, you have to face the fact that you are still most likely not to continue the relationship with the boyfriend and you need to let yourself mourn the loss of it, before you can really move on.
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No, it's not wrong at all. But it's how you say it to your boy.
It usually takes a bit of time between the break up and being friends again but if he is really your best friend he will remain that way.
eing upset is completely understandable as it is like you are losing your best friend, and it's weird not to have that closeness with someone anymore and its exciting to be trying something new BUT what if you don't have anyone who you care about or cares about you as much?!? Sound familiar?
If not probably shouldn't read the rest of the email, if so...explore but be healthy about it. Do it because it is what you want to do, not a reaction to your boy saying if you went to college you would break up. Otherwise what you are doing is a natural defense mechanism to protect yourself, by detaching yourself - from the object of affection.
He's your bestfriend - talk to him openly and honestly like you were never going to see him again. THEN, make sure you give him time to digest what you have said (at least a couple of days) as you have had a lot of time to think about what you want to say he needs time to process it.
take care
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