Member Since: September 8, 2006
Answers: 18
Last Update: October 11, 2006
Visitors: 902
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okayy. so i've been with ben on and off for like 8 months now. i was dating a kid named rick for 2 weeks when me and ben werent togehter. but rick went to jail.
so ben came to me sayin how much he missed me and wanted to try again, saying he'd really try.
but he had a HUGE event happen in his life and he drifted like he did before. So i was paranoid and broke up with him.
Then sunday i went to hang out with him and i had the best day but then it went back to normal, him not callin, or talkin to me. occasionally on aim.
and that's just not enough for me. i dont demand alot.
and rick was back so me and him are currently together. and it doesnt feel right. but id be disappointing so many people if i ended it. me and him mostly. but he could be back in jail come next week ... and my mom REALLY doenst like him, so our relationship is affected.
my friend julie really doesnt like him, and she made me promise on our friendship that i wouldnt go back to ben .. but i miss him. ive like the kid for a year and 2 months before i dated him .. thats 2 years.
i miss him like crazy. hes all it hink about. but everyones like wlel if you focus on rick, you'll get over ben. its not working. and ben's acting like he regrets what happened. like 2 nights ago his away message was "so much for things changing", and last night it was "dont you wish you could hit pause and rewind when you fucked up". its like he really does regret what happened. and last time we broke up he made NO effort to talk to me. but not he's more talkative then when were together.
im as close as i ever was to love .. just not with rick. and it snot fair to him. but if im not with rick, i might go back to ben. and i cant help feeling like im using rick, but i was ben to change .. i want him to want me (link)
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I don't want to state the obvious but why do you have to be with either of them?
Why don't you take some time and do some things that you are interested in and keep them as friends and just enjoy that for a while.
And when you have cleared your head and started to figure out what you really want...You can make a wish list of all the things that you want in a guy - don't think too much just right down the first things that come into your head including how you want to feel around them, how smart they would be, what they look like, how they react in certain situations etc
Write it put it aside, take some time out for a few days look at the list again and see if it checks out with either of these guys...if it doesn't, then you probably shouldn't be with either of them!
good luck.
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i want to be more socail,confident,and happy. how can i make more friends,and be happy with my self?i want people to want to talk to me, if that makes sence. i feel like im invisible. i just want to be noticed and be more in my circle of friends. how ? (link)
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After school clubs are a great way to meet people boys/girls. Find something you are interested in or want to get better at and see if there are any clubs around. The bonus with clubs is that usually they are an interactive thing and secondly someone new always joins. That makes it easier to make friends.
You also say "more in my circle of friends". Do you have a group of friends that you belong to, if so try and talk one on one to some of them at different times. The more you do this and the better you come across the more likely that other people in your group will want you as part of their conversations etc.
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I love my boy friend a ton. we have been together for a year & 10 months as of today. I am now a senior in high school.my boy told me a few weeks ago that when we go to college we will completly break up kas he doesnt want to do the long distance thing when we r only 45mins away.
last saterday i met this other guy nick & gave him my number. with my boys approval i went to the movies w. nick & his friends. then my boy started getting all mad at me and throwing fits. we got in a fight yesterday and almost broke up. then today i told him i wanted a break kas i wanted 2 see nick again, also because of the break up thing, & some other small reasons. my boy was really upset and im afraid i made the wrong choice by wanting a break? please tell me what u think.. im so upset and confused. my boy is my best friend & i love him very much but i kinda wanna see whats out there... is that wrong? (link)
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No, it's not wrong at all. But it's how you say it to your boy.
It usually takes a bit of time between the break up and being friends again but if he is really your best friend he will remain that way.
eing upset is completely understandable as it is like you are losing your best friend, and it's weird not to have that closeness with someone anymore and its exciting to be trying something new BUT what if you don't have anyone who you care about or cares about you as much?!? Sound familiar?
If not probably shouldn't read the rest of the email, if so...explore but be healthy about it. Do it because it is what you want to do, not a reaction to your boy saying if you went to college you would break up. Otherwise what you are doing is a natural defense mechanism to protect yourself, by detaching yourself - from the object of affection.
He's your bestfriend - talk to him openly and honestly like you were never going to see him again. THEN, make sure you give him time to digest what you have said (at least a couple of days) as you have had a lot of time to think about what you want to say he needs time to process it.
take care
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Hey!
Like a month ago, my friend Paul told me he thought my friend Victoria was just a little hot. I said, oh, but I like him. Seriously, I love him I think. I am 13, but I do. I have had many boyfriends, but somethings special about him.
At this dance Friday, Paul was like I am going to ask Victoria to dance. Victoria is like my best friend too. I pretended I told victoria but I didnt, then I told Paul she was like "Eww."
So now apperently he really likes her. I have been preteneding to try and hook them up, just to talk to Paul. Paul and I talk on the phone, but it is always about Victoria! I get in troble in english and math, always because I am showing off for Paul.
I try and show off, like I say, "Paul you might now like Victoria, she hasnt kissed anyone." Then he said, Dont worry, she will get kissed if you get her to go out with me.
Victoria doesnt really like him. She might go out with him, because I think she knows I like him. Victoria and I are friends and all, almost best friends, but we try to be better then one another.
Im not sure what to do. Should I keep talking bad about Victoria? I rather Paul then Victoria though, because Vicotoria and I are that great of friends! (link)
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stop!!! He'll like you more if you are honest - from now on! Guys are less interested in girls, if they try too hard to be cool. Just be you, he obviousely likes you anyway as he can talk to you. He may like Victoria, but there is a saying 'girl/boy friends come and go but real friends are forever'.
He is very young and so are you and i can tell you now there will be a loads of people you will meet and fall in love with over your lifetime - trust me!
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I'm 14/f and I'm a freshman at my high school. The problem is one of my "friends" let's call her Tina. Well, I've known her since the beginning of 8th grade and we were cool back then. I didn't reall know her but I thought she was nice and funny. But as our friendship progress that changed. She was so clingy saying I love you, You're my bestest friend for life! We have to be best friends FOREVER! And she was so freakishly self centered that it wasn't even funny. She cares about NO ONE but herself. If she did something wrong, she would blame someone else or make everyone feel guilty that they HAD to forgive her or THEY became the bad person. She is a scene and a emo poser as well as a druggie and a cutter. She think her life is so bad when it isn't. She's the only child so she gets whatever she wants, gets to do whatever she wants and everything with: whatever she wants in it. She "cuts" which are like paper cuts and no more and less sometimes. She would go around in gym screaming should I cut or not?! I'm like TINA SHUT UP! And she thinks shes a durggie because she's done drug ONCE. And it wasn't een serious and she ahted the feeling and vowed to never do it again. Keep that in mind for the next statement I will make: Whenever she doesn't get what she wants, she would go into another place and pretend to cut and my friends will go chasing after her to make her feel better while I'm left alone--and I won't go to comfort her anymore because I'm SICK of it. I mean I don't mind if she does it once in a while but everytime my friends and she and I meet, it's always the same. She needs ALL the attention and frankly, I'm tired of it and it's annoying. She would always hug me, claim me as her PROPERTY, she won't let me sit with anyone but her at lunch...the only way I can sit with my other friends is if I somehow get free from her gripping my shirt in the middle of the cafeteria, she hugs me, she acts like a BABY. And with what I said above know this: she has SERIOUS hygene problems. She never brushes her teeth. She takes a shower once a week. Deoderant is her shower. She changes her clothes..eh maybe 2-3 days..I mean it's disgustiong and her hugging me in public, rolling in my bed, holding my hand. UHG. Now that is not the only reason adnI know that what I just say is shallow but come on! I can't deal with this. I want to just break off the friendship with her. I'm sick of it. But if I do, my friends WILL turn against me, the class we are in together will be chaotic, and etc etc. And another thing, she just got back srugery and that would make me look REALLY bad if I break of the friendship with her now. WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS TINA!!! (link)
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Hey,
i'm really sorry the talking didn't help. Maybe she just doesn't want to hear it...yet.
I don't think you are a bad person, you obviousely cared enough to salvage your relationship and write a monster email ; )
Your talk might take time to sink in - if you are still friends give her time and take some time for yourself as well - really important!
Don't go all out to avoide her but don' suck up either, be kind and honest, keep it cool for a while. One of you will eventually open up or go your seperate way.
Chin up.
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OK well my boyfriend had promised his friend that he would go to her basketball game about 2 weeks before hand, and he told me he was going, and said i should go. So it was tonight and i was planning on going, since it was my best friend, also his friend. Well after school i made sure that he was going, and he said that he might, but he has alot of homework. He would have gone right after play practice. and soo i stayed after until 5:30 when the game started. i called him to see if he was going, and he didn't pick up so i left a message. He naver called back, or even text me! he totally blew me off and never went!! He still hasn't called me! i feel like crapt! what should i do?? (link)
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Don't bother in responding as he doesn't deserve one. And when he finds time in his important schedule to call you ask him if he wants to talk about what happened, if not - say thanks and 'bye'.
If he can justify his actions, cool, you might like to remind him it's about courtesy and manners and respect for you to reply - not just about whether he wanted to go to the game.
If he can't and he was being an idiot - his problem not yours. Don't jusify his actions they are his alone, you do not have responsibility nor can you control the way someone else behaves.
Good luck
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ok, let's just say i'm a trouble-maker... but only when i'm hanging out w/ friends. i mean, i never lie to my mom or anybody else but when i'm around my friends i do. and when i'm around my friends i swear and do all kinds of stuff. i don't want to stop hanging out w/ them because i've known them FOREVER but how can i start staying out of troulbe when i'm around them? please help. THX (link)
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Hey there,
sounds like you may have out-grown your friends. You sound like a polite, together person and you know the difference between right and wrong. You don't have to stop hanging out with your buddies or close off all ties, but you could start by meeting other people through after school clubs etc - Kind of wean yourself off them and when you do spend time with them be confident to be who you are and practice it (a little at a time) around your friends slowly i.e. don't swear around them - see if they notice or whether they hassel you for it. Pretty soon you will know whether they are loyal friends who like you, for you or want you to be 'just like them'.
It might be wise to know that some people grow with you and walk the same path, as you get older (and they will be friends for life) others just don't grow up and stay in the same rutt forever. Also, i have friends that at 30 i have known for the last 15 years and they are pretty important to me and others that i have also known for the same amount of time for that i still care about but am not as 'involved' with.
You can still be supportive to your mates without being involved in their trouble.
hope that helps, good luck!
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Hi I'm sorry if this is the wrong section but i didnt know where to put it. Any I need some advice. For a 13 year old girl who is 5'7" what weight is appropriate? I weigh 105.
People say im skinny coz you can see my ribs and those bones above your breasts, but I'm not coz i have huge thighs! Im gonna be on vacation soon, and I wanna look good in a bikini.
I wanna lose weight, but I'm also kind of scared. I've never tried to lose weight before, but I'm vegetarian so i dont have that much fat. Every time I try and eat less, I end up seeing cookies or something and I eat like 5 and then I hate myself and I start to do sit ups and cry. How do I avoid these temptations?
Ive also started throwing away my lunch at school without eating any of it, but I feel really bad for wasting the food. How can I not waste it, but not eat it?
I need help!! Anything about what im going through is great!!!! THANK YOU! (link)
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Hi there,
it may not be your weight that is the problem - as you are in a normal weight range for your height.
Again, as with many people your age image is really important and to look 'good' is important and to be 'popular' is important and i bet you feel that if you look good you will be popular and then feel good? I could be completely wrong but if i'm right the problem is your self image.
If you look at people around you - no one is perfect they all have flaws and yes - what is inside is more important. But, you can look good by eating loads of fruit and veges, carbs are good and if you can't eat everything in one sitting - lots of small healthy meals help to speed your metabolic rate (breakdown in food). oung bodies go through a lot of changes, prticularly in the early teens - give your body a chance to grow. Do exercise if you are worried about things and if you are worried about big thighs a cheats way is to do some toning exercise (nothing crazy) for your shoulders as it will make your legs appear thinner.
There is a lot out there kid, remember that nothing is ever forever...things change and if you are smart for the better!
By the way - the best looking girls are the confident ones! Shoulders back, back straight head up (and chin up, sunshine).
Take care
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hey im 5'5 and average weight. im fit and love running. but lately i have gained a little wait on my upper thigs and my hips. my stomach is fine but i look weird with my thighs sticking out! does any one know any excersises/tapes/tricks to make them slimmer.
all advice is apreciated.
thankyou!
(link)
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Another short cut way is by toning your arms and shoulder muscles - it will give the appearance that the lower half of you is slimmer. But do the other exercises as well - a really easy one is WALKING everywhere - do it.
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there is this girl at school that is completely intolerable. she constantly brags about her wealth, her popularity, blah blah blah & oh my god she LIES about everything. basically...i hate her. anyway...her & my best friend have always been really close. recently my best friend has been ditching me COMPLETELY to hang out with this obnoxious girl. this girl has totally changed my best friend into a clone of herself. what can i do to make my friend aware of this. she is stuck WAY up this girls ass & she's changing for the worst. it breaks my heart. ]: (link)
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One day she will grow up and see her life for what it is and people will see her for what she is. If you tell your friend who she should hang out with or be like you are as bad as the other girl.
The best way is to stay 'nice'. Don't say anything bad or be nasty as your friend will think you are just jealous etc - and scared of being abandoned, rejected by your friend?
If she is as bad as you say she is and your friend is smart, she will soon tire of being a clone and come running to you for sanity - but not if you act like the other girl.
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I don't know if this goes here but here goes...Iam 17 and I still sleep with my mom,I don't sleep with her as much as I use to becouse i relize that iam a little old to be sleeping with her,but when I start thinking about my dad who died when i was about 12 I get so upset that I can't sleep so I end up crawling in bed with my mom and my stepdad gets up and sleeps on the couch so I can have more room,but i was wondering why do I do this when iam 17 I think i may have some kind of mental disorder.Is there a disorder that cause this?what are some ways that I can start to sleep in my room or at least on the couch in the living room?please help me! (link)
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It doesn't sound like you have dealt with what happened with your father.
Maybe you are afraid that something may happen to her? She is your security and it sounds like you need it, but there will be a time when you need to go out in the big wide world on your own.
You might like to think of what your dad meant to you? Did he protect you, was he kind etc and transfer those aspects to your parent/step parent, friends etc.
I am not saying your dad is replaceable but a good thing is to think of how he might've liked you to be?
This may sound odd but the spirit of people is what makes them, them. And you maybe surprised how much of that spirit is around you - try using it for security.
Make a list with your mum about your greatest fears of what will happen if you spent an entire night by yourself...and then rationalise each one. Make it real. What would really happen?
Hope that helps
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i have had them for like an hour.
tips on getting them to leave?
duude pleasee help, it hurts. thanksss. (link)
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this sad but it works - a shot of vinegar.
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I'm in a very sad depressed mood.
Does anyone have any mood lifters
that I could do at home.
Like activities. (link)
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If you are artistic you can paint, draw, sketch, make something.
Alternatively, exercise is great it realeases endorphins naturally. Pilates /yoga is particularly good. If you can try some group sports or neighbourhood stuff as seeing/talking and mixing with the universe will allow you to pick up some great energy of other people (i know you don't want to go out).
Also, i hope this is only a temporary thing? If it persists it might be a good idea to see someone. make sure you are eating well - fresh fruit and veges stay of the sugars and junk foods - as although they might give you a short term high and energy, you get more from eating slow realease carbs (rice, pasta, some breads).
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If you wanna just skip all this and get to the question, Then look at the very bottom.
Okay, I really didn't know what category to put all this under, because it's a variety of issues I'm having, yet it basically all comes down to one thing, Self-esteem.
This might be long, so I'm sorry, in advance, if you get a little confused. But to me there is no way for me to make this any less complicated unless I type out the WHOLE thing.
I have a weight issue, and this is where it all started, In 8th grade. [I'm in 10th now] I've been chubby all my life..starting from 3rd grade, & I had been dancing up until 2 years ago. Well, getting to the main point.. I was 4'11 and weighed about 118, and I was really er..chubby. That was until 8th grade, I got taller..about 5'4, and weighed the same. When I had returned back to school, I had gotten lots of compliments on my appearance and that it looked like I had lost alot of weight. Which wasn't really the case, but it dawned on me that I liked hearing these compliments, [who doesn't?] and I wanted more, so I started going days without eating, and exercising. Now, Before that, My best friend since 4th grade, was practically my "sister". I was ALWAYS at her house whenever I had the chance, which was pretty much every weekend. We always hung out, but when I stopped eating I started losing interest in socializing, and about the middle of 8th grade, we didn't hang out as much..and we hardly talked. I was obsessed with wanting to lose weight, and I'd get upset and hurt myself if I ate that day or even gained weight. I've always been a quiet person, and this really didn't help. Now, I'm always worrying about my appearance, & I can't seem to make any new friends because I'm so worried about what they'll think of me, not to mention I've "reunited"? with my best friend from 4th grade, after us fighting because of some lame loser she was 'friends' with. I've lost most of the friends I've had from dance because I quit. I've told my mom I lost interest in dancing, But I didn't. I couldn't stand the fact that I looked fat in my costumes.
I don't mean to tell a story or anything, But the reason why I'm writing is, I can't take it anymore. My dad constantly puts me down, telling me I look fat, and that I'm ugly, and going through my clothes saying this-or-that is too small for me, then tries to throw it away.I'm tired of always feeling like crap about my appearance, and constantly worrying about if I look fat in my clothes. I probably go out in public once, maybe twice a year since then. My best friend is really tiny, she's about 5'5 and weighs 96 pounds, maybe. So I feel really self conscious when I'm around her. She's lost about 11 pounds in the past year or so. So I wonder maybe she has the same weight issue, too? Anyways, I've tried eating healthy, but everytime I eat I go into this breakdown. I can't say I've actually had a bf, maybe long distance..but that's about it. & I'm not saying I want a boyfriend, but lately I've been feeling like I'm missing out on being a teenager. I always see these girls talking and flirting with guys, and I get jealous. I want to be able to talk to a guy without wondering whether he thinks I look fat, or ugly. & of course everyone wonders about that stuff, and I'm positive people are in the same situation I'm in. I just want to know what I could possibly do to help me raise my self-esteem.
Please don't say anything like try talking to my parents about my feelings, or a school counselor, anybody like that.
I'd just like to know some ways that some of you increase your self-esteem. Like what gets rid of your stress, or some things you do that take your mind off things, anything around those areas..
Once again, sorry if this is long and confusing. (link)
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1. Take a good look at yourself and write down all those things you are good at or were good at if you don't do them anymore.
2. You are not over weight but if you stop eating you will become under weight. This will effect your chances of having kids, your skin, nails hair etc - not good. have a look on an anorexic website at the images - is skinny really that attractive?
3. Your dad is not helping at all, is he saying you are fat to tease you or is he saying it to be cruel? If it is to be cruel and you feel you can stand up to him. Tell him not to do it. If he's teasing tell him it hurts your feelings and if that's the best he can come up with, than not to bother talking to you.
As you get older people will grow with you and realise that it's not just looks that matter. However when you are young image is everything. But so is your sanity. Think about what it would be like if you didn't starve yourself and you went back to dancing (you can't dance with no energy). What would you be like? Try it for a morning - think of the end result, you would be happier, wouldn't feel hungry all the time, would be doing something you love, have energy etc.
Loook around you - people like other people who are true to themselves. You sound like an intelligent young person and talented to boot. Don't let people push you into being who you are not, find the strength to like who you are!
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ok i didnt know what catagory to put this in, so i just picked sex, ok! ok well im 14/f and i have had sexy bf, but i have my period rite now, well for a day, then it like stoped kinda, or it was really light witch isnt normal for me, and now my stomach hurts and my stomach is really big like it sitcks out and it never dose that, is it possible that im pregnet or some thing?? i havent had sexy since that last time i had my period and this one stopped too soon, is this npormal>> do i have some kind of infection? i am kinda scared but i dont really htnk i could be pregnet, culd i ?? plz help meeeeee (link)
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Okay you need to think whether you used contraception - a condom, the pill? Did the person you have sex with ejaculate (cum)? If they did and you were NOT using protection, then you should go to your pharmacy or school nurse or family planning clinic to have a pregnancy test done - straight away (take someone you trust 100% with you).
When you go and get tested, you should ask them to test for other things as well like sexually transmitted diseases. It goes without saying that your language and your fear show that you are not mature or old enough to be having sex and certainly not old enough to have kids.
If you are going to continue having sex ALWAYS use protection (i know it can be hard with the heat of the moment) but think: Do i want to be a mum, change nappies, not go out etc.
Don't stress till you have to.
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no matter how i try to study... i just can't seem to be able to. are there any ways for studying?? i'm currently in the 9th grade and i passed every other grade 8 and under. but i think i should REALLY try this year. please give me some advice.
Mathematics: needs tons of work.
Social Studies: needs lots of work.
Spanish: i wanna get a head start on this language.
English: needs help with story writing.
thank you XD (link)
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an old psyche trick is if you can make the information go into your brain three different ways i.e. read it, write it and say it aloud it should stay.
Give yourself quotes and things and cues to remember. Also schools often have tutors that are free - you should see if they can give you some pointers.
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i'm around 5 foot 3 or something i want to grow AT LEAST 4cm taller really soon. i feel like a midget when i walk around at school.
-.-''
i want to be 10cm taller than i am right now before i go into grade 10 next year; however, i don't think that's possible for me right now...
so please share any tips u have for growing taller. even if it's by a little bit. cuz i'm not growing AT ALL!! *cries* (link)
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Taking supplements, miracle cures (miracles - as it will be if they work!) are definately not the way to go. If you are a female there are a bunch of really amazing gorgeous short woman out there and you can be pretty dynamic.
If you are male, you don't stop growing till about 18 - so you still have hope, it may be a little older for females. Don't put products in your system work on your self esteem. Putting things ito your system that are artificial will not help. If you are happy where you are at, everyone else will be too.
Eat good food fresh veges, fruit grains and cereals (not too much wheat). Exercise helps particularly yoga and pilates that claim to lengthen your whole body.
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My best friend and I are kind of competing for this guy we both like but I had broken up with him so I liked him again and all the sudden she likes him too. Do you think it would be bad if I got with him again? I mean he was mine first & she had never been interested then all the sudden she is like 'hes so cute, hes so nice' its making me reallyyy jealous and annoyed. can anyone please help? thanks! (link)
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Hi there,
Think about whether you want to see this person because your friend has taken interest in him. If the answer is yes then don't.
Why did you break up with him in the first place?
If the next hot thing walked by would you dump him again?
Are you more jealous that your friend will share things with him that you did and it will make you feel weird or is it the competion with your friend that you want to win?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then maybe you should think of your motives and if you have any respect for your friend and EX, tell them individually how you really feel and let it be.
Oh and lastly - you dumped him "once bitten, twice shy".
Good luck.
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