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this a long one.


Question Posted Tuesday October 10 2006, 4:10 pm

okayy. so i've been with ben on and off for like 8 months now. i was dating a kid named rick for 2 weeks when me and ben werent togehter. but rick went to jail.

so ben came to me sayin how much he missed me and wanted to try again, saying he'd really try.
but he had a HUGE event happen in his life and he drifted like he did before. So i was paranoid and broke up with him.

Then sunday i went to hang out with him and i had the best day but then it went back to normal, him not callin, or talkin to me. occasionally on aim.
and that's just not enough for me. i dont demand alot.

and rick was back so me and him are currently together. and it doesnt feel right. but id be disappointing so many people if i ended it. me and him mostly. but he could be back in jail come next week ... and my mom REALLY doenst like him, so our relationship is affected.

my friend julie really doesnt like him, and she made me promise on our friendship that i wouldnt go back to ben .. but i miss him. ive like the kid for a year and 2 months before i dated him .. thats 2 years.

i miss him like crazy. hes all it hink about. but everyones like wlel if you focus on rick, you'll get over ben. its not working. and ben's acting like he regrets what happened. like 2 nights ago his away message was "so much for things changing", and last night it was "dont you wish you could hit pause and rewind when you fucked up". its like he really does regret what happened. and last time we broke up he made NO effort to talk to me. but not he's more talkative then when were together.

im as close as i ever was to love .. just not with rick. and it snot fair to him. but if im not with rick, i might go back to ben. and i cant help feeling like im using rick, but i was ben to change .. i want him to want me


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Seets answered Wednesday October 11 2006, 10:32 am:
I don't want to state the obvious but why do you have to be with either of them?

Why don't you take some time and do some things that you are interested in and keep them as friends and just enjoy that for a while.

And when you have cleared your head and started to figure out what you really want...You can make a wish list of all the things that you want in a guy - don't think too much just right down the first things that come into your head including how you want to feel around them, how smart they would be, what they look like, how they react in certain situations etc

Write it put it aside, take some time out for a few days look at the list again and see if it checks out with either of these guys...if it doesn't, then you probably shouldn't be with either of them!

good luck.

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