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to tell him or tell him not?
I have just recently had feelings for my guy friend who I've known for quite awhile now. Even when I was with my boyfriend my mind tended to think about him instead. My dilemma is to reveal my feelings to him or not. Typically, the answer seems so obvious, but there are a few circumstances. You see, my guy friend, he does not have the personality I look for in a guy. Granted he is funny and great, and I'm not picky when it comes to guys I date, but he isn't the committed type nor is he dating material...and right now I'm looking for a long-term relationship, while he is not. I guess you could call this a crush, but do I reveal my feelings and risk awkwardness in our frienship? Or do I keep the feelings to myself since I'm not interested in dating him?
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Well the real question is: do you want to tell him and possibly ruin the friendship you have already, even though you're not going to get anything out of it like a commited boyfriend?
I say, keep things as they are. If you two aren't compatible in the dating area, then there's no point in expressing your feelings unless you're sure he might feel the same way, or at least be boyfriend-material so you could work on him getting to know you and like you. Most of the time, it winds up becoming awkward anyways, so I really wouldn't want to risk it.
If you REALLY feel you have to tell him, because it being inside you is really bothering you, then sure, I don't see why you shouldn't. But just be really carefuly then if you do with how you're going to say it. Just let him know you've been digging him for awhile now, and it's been bothering you not to be able to say anything about it. If he does like you back and lets you know, then just be honest with him and let him know you're looking for a long-term relationship, and you don't think that's what he's looking for right now.
But like I said, if I were you, I wouldn't mention anything. If you still feel the urge to say something, write it down as a letter pretending you're writing it to him to just get the feelings out and then throw it away.
I hope I helped.
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What would be the real purpose of exposing your feelings? You need to know before you put yourself in a position that you cannot take back. Once words are said, they are out there for others to judge. Feelings do not constitute a relationship and unless you want to be just one of his many girls that come and go, I would stick to being friends. That does not mean however, that you cannot date him when you think he is mature enough and wants to have a girlfriend. You might hint that you think he'd make a great boyfriend if he could commit to one girl!
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I think its best if you let him know how you feel. Our feelings werent made to be kept bottled up. You'll feel better once you tell him. Im not sure how it will affect youre friendship with him because I dont know how he would react. But if you let him know that you arent interested in dating him, who knows maybe he likes you and he just might change for you. But if he doesnt like you, by you letting him know that you dont want to date him, it draws that line which makes you and him still on a friendship level and wont cause as much awkwardness.
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