about

hey, i'm not a very nice person if i get pissed off, but i've gone through a lot in my life so i think that i can give good advice on a lot of things. if anyone isn't sure that they can talk to someone because they don't understand then feel free to IM me on my AIM and i can talk to you, and i don't mind letting you guys know about my past.
*~*shan*~*


ps
(this is my favorite quote) "as long as you've got one person in the world, you've already betten the odds"



advice

ok, after everytime i masterbate, i feel really, really guilty...i wounder what my girlfriend would say if she had found out, i feel like it is a complete sin, and after everytime i do that, i feel that God punishes me, but he doesnt seem to punish other people i know do it... what should i think? is it ok, or should i try to stop?? HELP!!

there's nothing wrong with masturbation, i can almost guarante that she does it too

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I feel emontionally unable to control my self at times . Im only 15 and I have to go throught menopause. I very stressed and I just wanna give up. My bf wants me to change a part of myself for him (stop datting girls) but i dont even have enough feeling for that him and im a female. Im really need to stop doing overdose and im going to cut myself. What shoud i do?

forurlove08 is my AIM sn, i'm on it if i'm not working

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I have been living with my aunt carla for 5 years now, and about 2-3 months ago her 2 older boys moved out.. when they did me and my aunt got along really good , but about a month ago both of them moved back.. now i always fight w/ her and i cant stand it.. she gets stressed over my 2 cousins that moved back and expects me to do everything in the house because 'the boys are lazy ' but i always say ' they live here, just like i do , they should also do stuff to help out ' and my aunt was like they both work.. but now one of my cousins quit his job and all he does is put my aunt in a bad mood & so that makes her always mad @ me ! ne ways.. my aunt carla wants me to move in with my aunt barbara.. i love my aunt barbara, and get along with her so much better but she doesnt seem like shes in a good finanical place right now... another reason why i dont like it where i live is that if i wana go out in my back yard and tan one of my cousins will come out and say im fat and all this other stuff, like im a whore ! it brings me down alot, even though it shouldnt.. but if i lived with my other aunt i wouldnt have that problem.. i love my aunt carla, but i cant stand living with her sons any more.. any advice ?

if you're that unhappy there then i think that you should move in with your other aunt, ask her if she'd like you to get a job to help out with the money and that way you'll be happy and she'll have help

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hey. ok im really shy and stuff...and tomorrow i have to present like a 2-3 minute thing in front of my class..but i always get REALLY nervous when i present stuff alone..like i forget what to say and i sweat and stuff, and not only does that make me look like a freak, but my grade gets low...what should i do?? plz help =(

here's a trick one of my teachers tought me, don't look anyone in the eye, look at their forehead, that way it looks like you're looking them in the eye but you're really not, as for the forgetting thing, the best advice anyone can give is practice in front of a lot of people, like friends and family that might help

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O.K., Im thinking about downloading AIM onto my computer, but Im afraid it will give me a virus. If I get a virus my parents will KILL me! Does anyone have it and can tell me whether its ever given you a virus or someone you know? Thanks! All my friends have it and they've never gotten viruses before, but I need to make sure. THANKS!

it's never given me a virus

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Me and my boyfriend kissed for the first time a while back, and now he keeps wanting to do it every day. I'm afraid if we keep kissing every day, we'll soon grow bored of it and move of to sex. I don't want to take things too fast. So what should I do?

little kisses now and then aren't that bad, like if you're giving each other goodbye kisses. you don't have to have sex until you're ready so don't let him pressure you

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is it weird if someone ((a guy)) rights a song for you ((he likes me ALOT)) and sings it to you on the phone? it seems weird to me

aww that's cute! my boyfriend got me by writing poetry. it's sweet unless it's sounds like he's being a tad bit obessed

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I was friends with this girl named Tina for a whole grade before we grew apart. REcently, her mother died from cancer, and whenever I saw her after that she acted like she was fine, so I always made sure to act cheery and bright around her, and to pretend as though it never happened. My other friends all tell me I'm heartless and pretending like it never happened to her is just going to make it worse. What do I do?

if your friend says that she's ok then there's nothing you can do, you're friends who think that you're heartless are being more heartless because they are pitying her and you aren't. your friend doesn't need pity she needs someone who'll be there for her. just make sure that your friend knows that if she needs a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to then you'll be there for her

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17/f
I'm not going to prom b/c i have an AP physics final test two days later and i don't want to get distracted. But, my friends are mad at me b/c they are seniors and its our last year to go to a dance as a big group-their being mean "subtley"-like they'll slip in some mean things-wat do i do? and how do i not feel so miserable?

if they are being bitches to you because you're picking schoolwork over some dance then they aren't good friends at all, i didn't go to my senior prom either and i'm glad that i didn't because i heard that it sucked majorly. schoolworks more important i say, stick withthe homework

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ok um im gonna put this very bluntly....my mom only has only about 1 month and a half left to live and i love her and im tryin to deal wit it the best way I can may not be the best way to everyone else but even my counseler said ppl react to this shit differently and this is just how im dealin wit it....there are a few girls in my skool who keep callin me slut and shit because i had sex twice wit a guy ive been datin for 5 months and sayin how i only try to get attention when im in skool and shit and they said no one feels bad for me and my little issues at home. That fukin hurt me like hell but im not gona say anything to them or cry bout it bc i dont want to show them that what they said got to me...how do i deal with this how do i get them to understand without fukin TALKING to them (because we all kno that dont work wit junior high bitches) or without literally holdin a gun to each one of there temples and scarin the shit out of them til they respect me what the hell do i do im offically screwy now...idk what to do. plz help

hun there's not a lot that you can do, they are just being childish little girls. you're going through something that they could not possibly understand and that's why they are doing that. lately i've started saying this "if you've got one person to stand by you, you can take on the world." if you've got someone that you can talk to when you're upset about your mom then you don't have to worry about those little bitches who are treating you like shit. the next time they say something just simply smile, say "thanks for the attention" and walk away. nothing pisses off a bully more than having them think that they aren't bothering you at all with what they're saying, all you've got to do is be strong, i'm sure that's what your mom would want

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Okay heres the story, me and my 18 year old sister both have boyfriends out of state. However my sister has her boyfriend come up all the time and I just get so jealous becuase I can't see my boyfriend for another 3 months. I know its not that big of a deal but since I JUST stopped cutting less then a month ago the littlest things make me want to do it. I sit here as I'm writing this entry listening to my sister and her boyfriend fighting about how the hicci was to big and im so upset becuase I just want my guy here right this moment. I had my mom hide the scissors from me so that I wouldn't do anything becuase I honestly want to stop cutting and I have almsot made a month with out doing it I also promised my boyfriend that I wouldn't but its just getting so hard without seeing him I just need to be with him but I cant untill July becuase of school ... the only thing that keeps me from not breaking down at night since I cant lay in his arms is that he sings me to sleep on the phone every night ... I just need to prove to him and to myself that I can hold back, that I dont need to cut ... Hes all I have and if I cut I fear that I'll lose him even though we are in love ... does anyone have any suggestions to how to keep my mind off this awful habbit when I start to get deppressed about not being able to be with him ... oh and another thing that does not help my trying not to cut is I'm on medication for depression but my dad just kicked me out of the house so I dont have my medication which causes my depression to get really bad since my body is not used to not having my meds

i used to cut myself all the time, and it ended up with my boyfriend getting to the point of where he was forced to say it's either me or cutting. i know what my priorities are and i chose him, you might not be able to see your boyfriend but try this, when your sister's boyfriend and her are fighting just think about the fact that you and your boyfriend don't fight like that. even if you can't see him just knowing that you've got someone who cares enough about you to want you to stop doing something that would potentialy kill you is wonderful. a lot of girls don't have something that wonderful.

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My friend Tiffany always be having sex and I'm worried about her. she might have another kid and have to put it up for adoption. or she might get AIDS. I don't want that to happen. should I let her get hurt? or try to talk to her and help her?

i would recommend talking to her because she's setting herself up for disaster. she may get mad at you for that but she needs to know that you care and you'll be there for her always and that you're justtrying to help

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sorry is this is long but I really need help so please don't skip over it
Ok my parents have been divorced my whole life I don't even know who my dad is. Well my mom has serious problems with finding guys. They usually beat her or cheat on her. I've had about a dozen stepfathers and all of them treat her like shit and she doesn't deserve that. Well my newest stepfather Richie has been with my mother for 2 years now and she is really happy with him. I've never seen my mom this happy before. He is soo nice to her. But the thing is he has a son (my stepbrother) who is constantly hitting me and raping me. I tried talking to my mom about it and she said that she would talk to my stepdad and my stepbrother. She did and then it stopped for a little while but then he did it again and it was even worse than it was before. He had a couple of his friends over and they thought that it would be fun to beat and rape his 14 year old step sister. I talked to my stepdad and he told me to stop making things up. He told my mother that I was making things up and they sent me to a shrink. Needless to say my stepbrother continued to do these things to me. I confronted my mother again and she told me to talk to my stepdad. I did and he told me that I was lying and that even if I wasn't I needed to get over it because we are a happy family and we all have to make sacrifices I told him that that was wrong and he hit me! Now he's been hitting me too when my mom isn't around. I don't know what to do. She is soo happy and she deserves to be. I don't want to ruin this for her. My question is should I just deal with this so that she can be happy or is there anyway that I can get help without ruining this for her?

that's true your mother does deserve to be happy, and so do you, you should be your mom's first priority not some guy. now i'm sorry to get personal but if you were a virgin before your mom got married to this guy then you should have her take you to a doctor. you really should go to the police though they can do what is called a rape kit on you and it will show your mother how serious the situation is. if your step brother is leaving marks on you then you need to show them to your mother. tell her that if something isn't done about it then when the police find out you'll be taken away from her and both her husband and son could be arrested. if she doesn't want that to happen then she needs to do something about the situation that's going on in your house. you don't deserve to be hurt that way, and if you ever need to talk i'm online most of the time don't heasitate to IM me at fOrUrLoVe08 hope i helped

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My brother died 2 weeks ago and I really don't know what to do. I lived with him because my mom died 3 years ago and my dad used to beat and rape me. He was more like a father than a brother to me and I really don't know what to do. I've been staying with my friend until I get a foster family and she is always asking me if I'm ok and I'm really not. I don't know what to do with myself. I even tried drugs and I've been drinking a lot. I just want to kill myself and I'm so scared of what's going to happen next. I love him soo much and he was pretty much all that I had and now he's gone. I haven't even cried because I just can't, does that mean that there's something wrong with me? Why can't I just cry like normal people do when something happens to them? I really think that I'm a horrible because I can't even cry for my own brother. Please help me

some people handle tragedy differently, some cry, you're most likely repressing which isn't good. you've got to get some of it out because i've found out the hard way that if you hold things in they will explode at the worst possible time. you need to talk to your friend who clearly cares aboutyou. you're going to be put in a situation soon where you don't know anyone. maybe you could talk to your friend about her parents adopting you that way you will be sure that you'll have a loving family and a place that feels like home

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i don't know if i'm bi or not. i like guys but lately i've been attracted to girls too. i found out this girl was bi and now i'm really attracted to her and i like alot of other girls. but not just any girl, i only like really pretty girls. i don't want to be bi and i defnately can't tell anyone, that's not even an option so don't bring that up. so am i bi? tell me more about this.

you're not bi. most likely you're just feeling curios a lot of girls and even some guys go through it. you'll be fine

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Ok sorry that this is long but please don't pass over it I really need help.
My parents aren't divorced but they both cheat on each other they basically both get with anything that moves of the opposite sex. My dad is always drunk and is very abusive. My mom isn't physically abusive but she just tells me that I'm a waste of life and that she wishes she never had me and that I'm such a huge mistake and bla, bla, bla but her boyfriend Tom hits me all the time and even rapes me sometimes. I've gone to the police before and they took my parents side because to everyone else they look like such nice people. But at night they're druggies and alcoholics. I even went to social sevices they put me in a home for a week where I started cutting and then they put me right back with them! Lately I met a guy who uses drugs and I've been going out with him. And we were using and did some things and now I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. He was arrested for possesion so I can't go to him. I can't go to my parents. I really don't have any friends who aren't stoners and all they care about is how they're going to get their next fix. I don't know what to do. I've already tried killing myself and it didn't work. I'm soo scared I don't know what to do. I was going to run away but I know that I'll just end up somewhere where there's drugs and I'm really trying to stop. What can I do about all of this? Please help me

hunny you've got to get out of that house. if they are doing all of these horrible things at night then that's when you need to contact the police, killing yourself isn't an option you're letting them win if you do that, think about your baby that child doesn't deserve to feel the reprocusions of you're parents mistakes. if you ever need to talk the feel free to IM me at fOrUrLoVe08

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hey.. i have a VERRRY bad situation. My mom and dad are getting a divorce and i dont know what to do! Is it my fault? What can i do (if possible) to get them back together? i love my mom and my dad but when they yell and scream its hard for me to love either one of them.... plz plz plz help!! Everytime i think about it it makes me cry!!

my parents have been through this, when i was 7, generally it's not the childs fault, *except for my case* there's nothing that you can do about it because it's not your choice. your parents have to decide if they love each other enough to be together. most of the time divorced parents don't get back together. the most that you can do is talk to them about how you're feeling and tell them that this divorce is hurting you because you don't want to see your family breaking up

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This probably sounds really gay. But im OBSESSED with the computer. I mean im on AIM from 7 in the morning during school and until 930 - 10 @ night. I waste practically my whole day on it when i dont have school or something. I just want to get away from it and do something else but i can't! i

put AIM on your cell, that way you can still talk to people and be out doing soemthing else

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My friend has been acting really weird lately ever since her mom started going out with her new boyfriend. She jumps back when people move to fast towards her or swing their arms near her like she thinks they're going to hit her. She's also been waring clothes that are really baggy which isn't like her at all. I talked to her about it and she started crying. She told me that her mom's boyfriend has been beating her and even raped her. He told her that if she tells anyone or tries to runaway he'll kill her mom. She asked me not to tell anyone but I hate seeing her being treated like this. I want to go the police but the thing is he has a lot of money so if they do arrest he can just get out on bail and then go after her. She's really scared of telling people and I don't want her to get hurt anymore. What can I do to help her she really needs help but she's afraid to get it. Is there anyway that I can get her help without her mom's boyfriend finding out about it?

honestly you've got to talk your friend into going to the police, what's happening isn't right and she shouldn't have to go through it. she can get a restraining order against him, and she needs to tell her mom about what's going on. if her mother is allowing for this abuse to go on then she should be in jail to. no child deserves to be treated that way and something must be done

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im back with my boyfriend james, we went out for 9 months and broke up a month ago but now we're goin out again, he cheated on me with my bestfriend and this really dirty chick. but i coudlnt help the things he says to me hes so nice. is it wrong that im back with him? this boy scotty who has been my friend always was so mad and punched him in the face when he saw me cryin when i found out. he said hed never treat a girl like that and if he does it again he'll rip him apart because he loves me.. he told me he has major feelings too and i think i like him, what should i do

honestly i think that you should dump james. if he cheated on you once before he will do it again. i'm sorry to say that but it's true. that's how people are girls too. it sounds like scotty cares a lot about you and maybe even has feelings for you stick with the winner

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