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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Well, We have been together for 5 years and got married in November. He has been depressed since a week after the wedding.I think he is upset because I cant perform the sexual acts that he wants. He wants me to be with a girl so bad that if I dont "go out" with girls he will be silent for days.A week after the wedding it was all he talked about. I am quite a homebody. He is 45, I am 32. The fact is, I will never sleep with a girl. It was a thing of fantasy for us. He went as far as to text a girl from my phone for a coffee date yesterday behind my back and I cancelled, He is really dpressed now. And of course, everything is my fault. He downloads tons of porn,I have found 3 videocameras around my house, I know he is a sex addict,but he is in denial and wont get help. What do I do??Up until our wedding things were pretty great! He told me that he knows i am to "old" to be with a girl tonight and said young girls would do it. I think I am doomed. I am a very attractive woman I am not old, and very devoted to only him.He always makes comments that nobody wants him enough for him to cheat on me. I am so lost. HELP!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
My advice is that you should leave and seek an annulment. In all the time I have been writing here I have never given this type if advice. In your case I see a man who may be using the 13 year difference in ages to satisfy a sexual urge other then the fantasy you have written about. He has suppressed or hidden this urge from you during the past 5 years.
Are you in any type of danger? I’m not sure and frankly I believe the caution out ways the risk of finding out if your husband will become a danger to you. You could try marriage counseling, but I feel the problem your husband has is one that deals with a personality disorder and hard to fix through counseling.
People do not change just because they have married. I believe your husband married because he wanted to let his true side out and probably feels safer doing so being married. This is my opinion base on what you have written, I could be right, I could be wrong.
Being old enough to be your father, I have a son two years older than you, this is the advice I would be giving you if you were my daughter. I know it is hard to talk to ones parents about these things, especially sexual aspects of one’s marriage, but I would assume they know your husband were I and others on this site do not. You may want to confide in them and see what their feelings are and what they might suggest you do.
m/18 my gf says i need to live my life without planning everything out and just kinda going with the flow sometimes, im not rly used to doing it though. anyone have any ideas on what i should do?
I think what your girl friend is looking for is a little spontaneity. You might call her one night and say I’m bored sit here all alone, how about we go bowling? You know anything that is not planned out three weeks in advance. I do not think she is looking for you set the world on fire, just something unplanned. It could be as simple as asking her to go for a cup of coffee or ice cream.
I think you get the idea; spontaneity can be fun because it has an element of surprise to it.
Good luck
My ten year old daughter has been having trouble in school for the last couple years. She gets so stressed out by all the work so she chooses not to it. She lies to us about having done it. Her grades are bad again and has 9 missing assignments... again. I have tried everything that I can think of. We have a professional tutor for her, along with the help that we and her teachers give her. I have had countless meetings with her teacher. She is a good kid and is never in trouble. I feel so bad for her because she is always crying and begging to change schools or be home-schooled. She says that her teacher is humiliating her about this problem in front of all the other students in class now. She has always had trouble with reading comprehension (although she reads well)... but otherwise she seems to have a good handle on most things when we work on them at home. Her tutor agrees and is suprised when she comes home with a bad grade on something that they worked on the night before (and she knew it then). I don't know what else to do. I am afraid it is only going to get worse. She is going to middle school next year. I am starting to seriously consider either switching schools or home schooling her. Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing? Has anyone been in public school and then home schooled? I need some advice!
My niece had the same problem when she was in Elementary school. My sister had her tested for a learning disability. They found that she had a problem with retention. She knew the work when you worked with her but was unable to retain it or properly recall it later when needed.
Just finding the problem is not half the problem. The real problem is getting the public school system to properly address the issue and find teachers to help the child. Even know with the no child left behind laws the budget restraints public schools are under will have you fighting for everything you are entitled too. Even if that means sending your child to a private school specializing in teaching to your child�s learning disability. If your public school system cannot provide the teacher(s) needed then they must foot the bill for the private school and transportation costs.
It will not be an easy fight but it is a fight worth fighting for. My sister was a single parent at the time and she put up a good fight. Now my niece is a Sr. Human Resources Manager for Major National International Firm.
Additional Information: The school system did the testing. Here again this is something you may have to fight for
I hate having my period! im going to the doctor when my mom gets and appt. so i can get meds to make it lighter. do you think the doc will tell my mom im not a virgin? also if i get meds how long will it take for them to work? if i dont get them is there anything ican do to make my period go away really soon??? im spost to see my bf tonite..=((
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
Being a guy I can't answer the second part of question. A for the first part of your question: Unless you have signed a HIPAA release allowing your doctor to release confidential medical information to your mother or anyone else the doctor is bound by law to keep that information private.
H.I.P.A.A. stands Health Information Portability and Accountability Act and was enacted by the 104th Congress and signed into Law by President Clinton. It is in Title IV of this legislation that defines rules for protection of patient information. The rules call for fines of up to $5,000 and 10 years in jail for violating the patient privacy information portion.
Even if you have signed a release of information form giving your doctor permission to share your medical information with your parents, all you have to do is simply tell the doctor you are revoking permission to share your medical information and the doctor must abide by your revocation of consent.
Be prepared for your mother to question your decision, most likely to the extreme when and if she finds she can no longer have access to your medical being.
i am a 17 year old female. I have recently been considering emancipation. My home life is decent finacially but as faras the relationship my mother and i have, it isnt the greatest. Shes an alcholic and is currently trying to get herself straight. She has never been a good parent. Ive been pretty much raised by my grandmother. She often lashes out at me for no reason and in always blaming me for alot. She accuses me of lieing all the time. She calls me names, and im tired of the abuse. I know you have to provide proof that you are able to tke care of yourself. I was wonder if anyone could help me out with the steps of doing that.
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
As long as your mother is providing a clean home, clean clothes, proper meals and sending you to school and not physically abusing you you will not have much chance of getting emancipated.
Your 17 know, at age 18 you will be of legal ageand can move out without mothers' or the courts permission. By the time you go through the legal steps and spend the money it takes you will be of legal age and will not need emancipation. Save your money and try to find friends or family who might be in a position to help for the next few months.
In the mean time try and stay out of moms line of fire. Busy yourself at school, church or community functions. The library is always a good place to hang out if you need a place to hide.
I founded a babysitting referral business at www.flowersitters.com and I currently charge families $10.00 to refer a sitter, and $7.00 to refer an additional sitter - short-notice fees, as well, if the bookings are made less than 48 hours in advanced, however, I don't tend to receive very many short-notice bookings.
I'm considering raising the referral fee to either $12.00, $15.00 or $20.00, but I am not sure. Right now, I answer phones and e-mails, contact sitters and the family to set-up interviews and exchange information, and then I release contact info after receiving the referral fee.
What would be a fair price to raise my current price to?
Thanks!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Given the present state of the economy, the high unemployment rate and as cash strapped as many families are, I think you would be doing a disservice to them and yourself by raising your fees.
What I see you trying to do is raise you income through increased fees. As I said above this could do more you harm and actually lower your income through lost business. I took a quick look at your website and it appears to me to be some sort of franchise business. If allowable by the franchise, there are other ways to increase your income other than raise fees. Promotions are a very good way to increase and expand your business by attracting new customers while retaining new existing customers.
A few examples of some promotions you could run:
• Book 4 hrs get the 5th hour free
• Purchase 8, 12, 16 hrs of a sitters time in advance and receive a 5% discount.
• Run a special promotion; say a mid week promotions when bookings may be particularly slow.
• New customer promotion; 3 hrs for the price of 2 hrs Sun, Mon, Tues & Wen. 4 hrs for the price of 3 hrs Thu, Fri & Sat.
The promotions I am offering you are only suggestions as I do not know your business that well. What I do know is sales as I have been in sales for over thirty years and the suggestions above are based on ones I have used successfully in the goods I sold.
From what I see you are selling time and service. The service is babysitting which is also time. You need to attract people to your service by offering an inducement to try your service as well as to continue with you.
Overall I fell it would be better to promote your business in a manner that will attract new customers and retain current customers rather than raise prices. When you raise prices it may appear on paper that you have made bigger earnings. But when you compare unit sales for a period of time against the same period in the previous year you will see you worked harder for fewer sales and the increase in sales dollars is actually a loss in unit sales or loss in actual customer business.
Okay, so my Dad currently has a new home where he'd be staying there alone. In his apartment, he lived with his room mates. And 1 or 2 years ago, he had a stroke. Now, he's no longer going to be living with them, but alone. I think I should go live with him starting next semester of school, but my Mom is being you know.. motherly about it. She says to go live with him next year, but I'm pretty sure she'll change her mind about it.
I feel it's important for me to stay with me, even if I'm anxious and nervous since I'd have to totally move, and not live with my Mom anymore. I feel that it's really important for me to do so. If anything does happen to my Dad again and if he's alone -- then there will be no one to help him.
What can I do?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I’m sorry to hear about your fathers’ stroke.
You do not say how disabled your father is from his stroke. If your father requires a great deal of care this can be very stressful by itself on the caregiver. You are going to add to that attempting to complete your college education as well. The combination of the two may be too stressful to be successful at either one.
Not knowing how disabled the stroke has left your father makes answering your question a bit tough. His stroke was at the least over a year ago and now he is moving out of an apartment he has shared with friends. If I read into this somewhat I would say it is possible your father is or was capable of living on his on with some support. Now for some reason, possibly he needs more support than his roommates care to give or he feels he has become a burden to them. Without proper care the effects of the stroke may be continuing to cause a slow decline in your fathers’ health. All of this is supposition on my part.
The only fact I see in your letter is a desire on your part to go and live and care for your father. You have not said your father has asked you to come live with him and care for him. To me this is the key question; has your father asked you to move in with him and care for him? For whatever reasons your father may have, he may not want you to live with him.
My suggestions are as follows: First, talk with your father and see if he will agree to you living with him and caring for him. If he agrees then visit his doctors with him to find out exactly what care is required. This would include possible physical therapy, his medication schedule, types of medication, diet requirements and other things. You did not say if your father is still able to work. If he is totally disabled you will want to check out what home health services are available to assist you in caring for you father such as the visiting nurse program, physical therapy at home. Meals on wheels are a good program to check into for him now for him as are the other programs.
I admire the fact that you are mature and caring enough to want to care for your father, but I would be remiss if I did not admonish you to respect his wishes should he refuse your offer. I am probably your fathers age or older and probably have a better understanding of why he might refuse your offer. I have also been on the receiving end of an offer to care for a parent. About 15 years ago when my wife’s father tool ill, we were prepared to pick up and move 250 mile from where we had made a life for ourselves so my wife could care for him. He flat refused to allow us to move in with him or to care for him. He lived for another 14 years without our help.
For some reason -- I'm ALWAYS irritated, especially at home. Whenever my Mom, brother or my Dad ask me a question, I tend to snap or have to clench my fist because I get so angry. Like, just now, my Dad called asking me when I'll come to his place, and it's just making me so so ANNOYED. And then when my Mom asks why my Dad called!
I feel like I've developed this anti-social personality. I spend a lot of time on the computer, and I remember reading once that people who are on the computer for long hours generally have a hard time dealing with others. Also, for some reason I can't stop feeling depressed and hate all the time. I can't stop hating, and being annoyed for the fact that religion is making everything complicated and what not.
As much as I want to be a good person, and I want to be the person I envision. It seems almost impossible because there's just too much wrong with me -- that's how I feel anyway.
What am I supposed to do?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
You may have answered your own question when you said “I can't stop feeling depressed.” Some of the other things you write about are symptoms and signs of depression. Depression is not something to be embarrassed about. Depression of the type you might suffer from is more of medical disease then a brain disorder, in that the body is not supplying enough of a certain chemical, not unlike diabetes. Without these chemicals you cannot function properly. Talk therapy can help you realize what triggers the depressive episode(s) and help you to keep from getting depressed. It will also minimize the need or reliance on medication.
You also mention your father asking you to “come over to his place.” From this I assume your parents are divorced or at the very least, living separately. I can see where this could cause you to be angry and even hateful toward members of your family. Too much anger and hate could be the cause of you feeling depressed.
You should tell one or both of your parents how you are feeling and have them arrange for you to visit your family doctor. Tell your doctor exactly what you have written to us. Your doctor may want to examine you and run some test to rule out any physical causes before referring you to a specialist or therapist for further treatment.
One thing I know for certain. You have some anger issues that you need to resolve. You will not be able to resolve these on your own; you need to talk with someone that can help you. You may even need some medication to help you feel better while you resolve these issues. If you are not old enough to make your own doctors appointments you need to at the very least talk to one of your parents and have them make a doctor’s appointment for you. If you are fearful of speaking with either of your parents about this then possibly a grandparent, Aunt or Uncle can intercede for you.
i am a single dad of 4 children 3 girls age 9 , 13, 16, and a boy age 8 my sister has been questing my children about me seeing them naked.
i bath my 8, and 9 year old and wash my 13 year old hair the only reason i help my 16 year old is bescause she has 2 broken arms and a broken leg who eles can hekp me
If your sister is so concerned with you seeing your female children naked, especially your 16 year old daughter, then maybe she should offer to help out with the bathing and grooming chores. The bigger question I would be concerned with is if your sister is asking your children; if they see you naked, sleep naked with you in your bed with you or other inappropriate actions. Then the question becomes what reason does your sister has for asking these questions of your children? Would she ask the same question of her sister if her sister had 3 male children and was a single parent? Of course you don’t have the answer to that question.
I would suggest you ask her straight out why she is asking these questions of your children. You may want to ask her if the question I asked about a single mother and male children.
As to your original question: Unless you can afford to hire a Nanny, or your sister is willing to help out there is not much else you can do. The only other possibility is to ask your communities Social Service Department for whatever assistance they can offer.
19/f Lately I feel like a total and utter loser. I'm nineteen years old, no license, no job, no car, and I'm not in college. I graduated over six months ago, and still have nothing. I feel like no one really cares. My grandparents keep telling me I need to join the military, and my parents keep reassuring me everything will be fine. I'm starting to think they don't know anything about me. All I do is sit around my house, reed books, see my boyfriend, watch movies, and play on the computer. I'm in over my head worried about health insurance, a place to live, etc. I've been trying to get my license but every time I take it I get nervous and I've already taken it 3 time. I know. Pathetic, right? My boyfriend has been driving with me, but my parents haven't been at all. I feel like I'm at his mercy and that I'm using him, and I don't like feeling that way. I always tell him I appreciate everything he does for me. I just wish I could SHOW him how much I appreciate him. But I don't have anything. What do I do? I don't want to live with my parents forever, what do I do? I hope to get my license but I always get so nervous. How can I make that so it's less? Please help!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Self-defeating attitudes are not a help, so the first thing you have to do is find away to get a positive attitude for yourself. Not being able to find a job is not a reflection on you, it is a sign of the times. Nationally the unemployment rate is over 10% and this is not adjusted for High School Graduates who are unable to find jobs.
Compounding your inability to find work is your not having a license and reliable transportation. Employers look at this as a major part of their decision when selecting who they will hire. You may be the most qualified for the position; if you do not process, in the employers eyes, a reliable means of getting to work they will chose someone else. This means you must spend more time practicing for your driver’s test so that you are more comfortable driving. The more comfortable you are driving the less nervous you will be taking the test.
You did not say why you are not in College. There are two primary reasons for not going to College; you feel you are not college material or do not have the money. If it is the first reason, then I agree with your grandparents. The Military did wonders for my son whose teacher told me to teach him to remember to ask to super size that order for that was about all he was capable of. That teacher was very surprised when many years later he came to her rescue when she was involved in a car crash. He was the Firefighter/Paramedic assigned to the call. High School did not prepare him for this career, the Military did. They taught him how to learn, how to study and how to pass tests. Today he is, as I said, a Fire Fighter/Paramedic with a BS in Emergency Medical Care. As for money to get his Degree, well the Military took care of that as well. All it cost him was four years service and he took most of his college courses while he was serving.
Don’t want to join the Military but still have monetary problems. Start with your local Community College. Talk with the people in the Finance Department. There are a number of different grants you may qualify for as well as student loans. When money stands in the way to an education the local community college is the best place to start. They have the means to help you, all you have to do is ask. If you are deficient in some of your primary education they will help you there as well. It is really up to you.
If you want a better life you will need a better education. A better education is available to you if you ask for help in obtaining it. My suggestions to you are:
• Visit your local Military Recruiters and investigate a Military Career.
• Visit you local Community College and see what they can offer you as far as funding and testing to see what is needed to get you at the very least an AA Degree.
• Continue practicing for your driver’s license to gain confidence and skill in driving.
Once you have done this you can make an informed decision about your future.
I have a little babysitting business with 60+ kids but durin the holiday season it certainly slows down so i was thinking of doing a holiday speacial of some sort. Except I don't know what to do. Should I do 1 hour free or 2 hours free? Also, should I have rules that go along with it? If its 2 hours free, I need to be there for 5 hours or if its 1 hour free I need to be there for at least 3.. or what?
Thanks, and all tips and advice is grealty appreciated.
Marketing is certainly the way to build your business. I would suggest you build a flier around this concept.
For Every 3 hours I sit for you get a fourth hour (or any part of it) free.
It is the same concept as some of the hotel chains use, were for every three nights you stay with them you get the fourth night free.
Do blood tests usually hurt more than shots? Is there a lot of swelling like when I have had shots in the past? I have to have one done and I am like terrified of it! Help?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Blood test in general do not hurt or hurt very little. On a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being no pain and ten being the worst pain you have ever felt; a blood test should be no more than a 2 or 3. The amount of pain you feel depends a lot on the skill of the technician drawing the blood and how easy it is to find a vein. Some veins roll away from the needle. For a good technician this is not a problem.
The reason shots cause pain and swelling is they are generally given into a muscle. Blood is drawn directly from a vein that is just under the surface of the skin. About the only thing you should feel is the initial puncture of the skin by the needle. Most technicians use a relatively small bore needle to minimize any pain. So relax the only thing you should fear is the fear itself. Blood drawing is not a big deal. If you are really fearful do not watch, turn your head away while they draw the blood. The whole process takes less time that it took you to read this, maybe a minute longer.
i want to travel to england, get a job and live there for about a year in my gap year but dont know where to start, anyone know anything about trav3elling and visas??!
I would start by contacting the British Embassy. To visit England a Visa has not been a requirement only a passport for U.S. Citizens. To go there and work might require a work Visa and a host of other requirements which probably includes an open dated return paid airline ticket.
I am not sure what information you are looking for as to traveling, you’re a little vague in your question. Traveling in Great Britain and Europe has been made much easier since the coming of the European Union. There are no longer any border crossings to go through. Once you enter one Country you can travel to another without any problem. Should you have any questions along this line I would include them in your questions to the Embassy.
As for travel itself; they have a great network of rail travel, which is a great way to see the Country’s. They also sell something called a EuroRail pass. They are sold in different amounts covering different periods from days to months for unlimited travel. The Embassy will supply you with more information if you ask them.
While I hate to be redundant the British Embassy will be your best source of information for your questions. Their web address is: http://ukinusa.fco.gov.uk/en.
How can I make my breast smaller? There not terribly big but I still hate them! I'm a dancer and I HATE it when my breast "jiggle" on stage. I really want to make my breast smaller. I will work out 24/7 if I have to. To tell you the truth I want the breasts of a nine year old (thats not relistic I know). Please tell me! I'll stop eating, I'll work out 24/7, I'll eat my dog!!! (well that last one was a joke haha) PLEASE HELP!!!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others
At your present age your body is still developing and may continue to do so up to age 21. I know this is not what you want to hear, but this is the reality of life. For at least the next 5 years you will have to live with what you receive and try and control your shape through diet and exercise. The only way a doctor would consider breast reduction surgery before age 17 would be if your breast were as large as to endanger your health.
Once you reach age 17, if you are still not happy with the size of your breasts, you and your parents can discuss breast reduction surgery with a competent plastic surgeon. In the mean time you can start searching the WEB for a surgeon who specializes in adolescent breast surgery.
As I said earlier; this is not the answer you are looking for but it is the best answer you can get given your age. Your body will change over the next 5 years, wait and see what these changes are before you do something you can’t reverse or might harm you.
Recently, my friend has been talking about how hot he thinks his teacher his. He keeps saying he fantasizes about her and he worships her. He said he likes walking past her room having excuses just to walk by her and at the end of the day waiting to see her leave, he said he wants to buy the yearbook and school newsaper just to oogle and at any pictures of her in them, saying "pictures of my hot teacher are like what pornography is to other people. Worst of all, he said he wishes she was a pedophile and if she wanted to rape him he'd be all for it, and he also said he hopes her boyfriend dies. This sounds kind of funny but also weird to me. I guess you could find a teacher hot, but still. Is this normal, or has he gone too far?
friend is 16 teacher is about 26
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others
It is normal for a boy going through puberty to have the hots for a teacher he admires. I remember two teachers one in particular I was deeply in love with. She was my middle school Chemistry teacher. I did everything I could to get her attention including failing tests to cause her to keep me after school for extra attention. Then there was a teacher in High School that every senior boy was after. She had been a senior when we were all freshmen and was now a freshman English teacher. She even rode to and from school with one of the seniors until the Principal put a stop to it. I do not think there was a boy in school that could walk down the hall without holding their books in front of them when she was in the hallway. This all came to an abrupt stop when her boyfriend came to school. He was a Marine Gunnery Sergeant. Now when I think back on it; it is funny how even though she was just as pretty she no longer turned any of us on.
I would say your friend has not yet crossed the line from youthful admirer to stalker, but he could be very close. It would be a reasonable and cautious thing to do, to advise this teacher that your friend is developing an unhealthy admiration for her. Even better it would be best to tell your parents what you have observed and let them decide how to approach the situation. In fact that is probably the better idea as it takes you out of the middle and leaves it to the adults to handle.
My advice then is to talk to your parents about what you have observed and what you feel. Then follow their advice.
My wife at 32 years old has severe pain in the lower back, pressure from hands seems to cause relief. is it the kidneys or something else?
None of us on this website are doctors and should not be offering medical advice or diagnosis.
From personal experience I can say that lower back pain can be caused by a variety of problems. Relief from pain can also come from a variety of things such as applying heat, cold packs, pressure, bending and stretching. The problem here is that not knowing exactly what the problems are you can do more harm than good.
Only your doctor through the use of some non-invasive testing can tell you exactly where the problem lies. While waiting for these test, such as X-rays, CAT scans or MRI’s your doctor may prescribe medication that will make your wife more comfortable.
If your wife is in terrible pain I would suggest taking her to a hospital emergency room or a local urgent care center. If she can wait to see your family doctor, call and ask for an appointment at their earliest possible time.
My wife at 32 years old has severe pain in the lower back, pressure from hands seems to cause relief. is it the kidneys or something else?
None of us on this website are doctors and should not be offering medical advice or diagnosis.
From personal experience I can say that lower back pain can be caused by a variety of problems. Relief from pain can also come from a variety of things such as applying heat, cold packs, pressure, bending and stretching. The problem here is that not knowing exactly what the problems are you can do more harm than good.
Only your doctor through the use of some non-invasive testing can tell you exactly where the problem lies. While waiting for these test, such as X-rays, CAT scans or MRI’s your doctor may prescribe medication that will make your wife more comfortable.
If your wife is in terrible pain I would suggest taking her to a hospital emergency room or a local urgent care center. If she can wait to see your family doctor, call and ask for an appointment at their earliest possible time.
Hi! i'm 16 and i'm still a virgin and i think im ready for sex but i want to know if there is anything important i need to know about before my boyfriend and i do it, just to prepare myself
he's told me that its going to hurt more than when he fingers me, but thats it.
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than fore the boy. At 16 you are more emotionally mature than your partner is at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always must have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you the t advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is general apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision please review the following website.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
She wont let me tell an adult. And I'm not going to abuse her trust. Like how can I help her solve it herself?
In this instance you have no choice but to go to an adult. Who else is there you can turn to for help? Her father is not going to listen to you if you went to him, which you should not. You have to find a trusted adult and let the adult authorities look into this and find out just what is going on.
By keeping her trust you are not helping her. If your intention is to help her then you must go to a trust adult for help. It is just possible that she has come to you and confided in you because she realizes that you are smart enough to do what she herself is not able to do. Asking you to keep her trust may be just her way of allowing herself to tell you what she had to tell you.
I think at the very least you should discuss this with your parents and let them help you with decide how best to help your friend. If your friend is not in life threatening imminent danger your parents will be the ones who will best help keep the trust your friend has placed in you.
Hi everyone!
I have a problem. My grandma is really nice and I want to get her something nice for christmas but I don't know how to say this so I will just say it: She is an old lady! What do old ladies like for christmas?!? I don't want o be rude seriously and I want it to be something that she will really like because she has always been really wonderful to me.
Can anyone give me some starter ideas on what to get my grandma for christmas?
Thank YOU!
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
You have asked a really hard question in that we do not know the person you wish to purchase a gift for. You say she is an old lady; old to you may not be that old in chronological age or in the way she spends her days.
That being said here is what I suggest: Look at how your grandmother spends her day. Does she belong to any clubs? If so find out which of the clubs she gets the most enjoyment from. If she is a member of say a book club you could buy her some gift cards from her favorite book store. In this case a gift card would be the right gift as book selection is a very personal thing. If grandmother is on a fixed income a gift card would allow her to purchase extra books. She may be into arts and crafts, if she is talk to her find out what she likes to do then go to a craft store and ask someone there what would go along with what she likes to do. Does grandmother like to travel, if so travel accessories are always welcome.
I think you see the point I am getting at. You need to visit with your grandmother, which in and of itself will be a gift grandmother will enjoy. Find out through subtle questions what grandmother enjoys doing with her days and then find a gift you can afford.
Being of the grandparent age myself I can tell you that just spending some quality time alone with you would be a welcome gift. If you are old enough to be out on your own consider taking your grandmother out to dinner, just the two of you, to her favorite restaurant if it’s affordable. Frankly that’s a gift I would enjoy more than any tangible gift you could give me, again that is if you are of the age you can do so. If you are still in your teen years; coming to my house and having dinner with me just the two of us would be just as nice.