For some reason -- I'm ALWAYS irritated, especially at home. Whenever my Mom, brother or my Dad ask me a question, I tend to snap or have to clench my fist because I get so angry. Like, just now, my Dad called asking me when I'll come to his place, and it's just making me so so ANNOYED. And then when my Mom asks why my Dad called!
I feel like I've developed this anti-social personality. I spend a lot of time on the computer, and I remember reading once that people who are on the computer for long hours generally have a hard time dealing with others. Also, for some reason I can't stop feeling depressed and hate all the time. I can't stop hating, and being annoyed for the fact that religion is making everything complicated and what not.
As much as I want to be a good person, and I want to be the person I envision. It seems almost impossible because there's just too much wrong with me -- that's how I feel anyway.
You may have answered your own question when you said “I can't stop feeling depressed.” Some of the other things you write about are symptoms and signs of depression. Depression is not something to be embarrassed about. Depression of the type you might suffer from is more of medical disease then a brain disorder, in that the body is not supplying enough of a certain chemical, not unlike diabetes. Without these chemicals you cannot function properly. Talk therapy can help you realize what triggers the depressive episode(s) and help you to keep from getting depressed. It will also minimize the need or reliance on medication.
You also mention your father asking you to “come over to his place.” From this I assume your parents are divorced or at the very least, living separately. I can see where this could cause you to be angry and even hateful toward members of your family. Too much anger and hate could be the cause of you feeling depressed.
You should tell one or both of your parents how you are feeling and have them arrange for you to visit your family doctor. Tell your doctor exactly what you have written to us. Your doctor may want to examine you and run some test to rule out any physical causes before referring you to a specialist or therapist for further treatment.
One thing I know for certain. You have some anger issues that you need to resolve. You will not be able to resolve these on your own; you need to talk with someone that can help you. You may even need some medication to help you feel better while you resolve these issues. If you are not old enough to make your own doctors appointments you need to at the very least talk to one of your parents and have them make a doctor’s appointment for you. If you are fearful of speaking with either of your parents about this then possibly a grandparent, Aunt or Uncle can intercede for you. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
sunshine1232 answered Saturday November 21 2009, 9:50 am: You need motivation without it you'll go no where you have to want to change your in control of your life if you don't like something then change it if you want something bad enough you'll do whatever it takes to achieve it and you won't allow anyone to stand in your way if you feel yourself starting to get angry then leave the room give yourself a moment take deep breaths relax and calm down then once you feel ready return into the room again find something your good at or enjoy doing to keep yourself busy if your in school you can do some after school activities try talking it's better then keeping everything your feeling to yourself and not saying anything at all that's unhealthy think postively thinking negatively will make the sitaution worst and you'll feel worst be confident confidence is key belieive in yourself that you can change and you will :) [ sunshine1232's advice column | Ask sunshine1232 A Question ]
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