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first time
Hi! i'm 16 and i'm still a virgin and i think im ready for sex but i want to know if there is anything important i need to know about before my boyfriend and i do it, just to prepare myself
he's told me that its going to hurt more than when he fingers me, but thats it.
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& he also forgot that youu might bleed.
[ cherry being popped ]
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hey it seems like most people have already gone into grave detail about the stuff you need to know, but here is a great website I like to go to, and that helped me about in the past. Its geared towards teens, and mostly written by them.
check it out sexetc.org
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Don't do it. It hurts and your too young.
xoxo,
dottie4
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than fore the boy. At 16 you are more emotionally mature than your partner is at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always must have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you the t advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is general apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision please review the following website.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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Important things you should know before you have sex:
1. Virgins can have STDs. People can be very well be born with STDs or contract an STD (you can contract herpes and HPV just by getting it under your nails and then masturbating--you don't even have to be sexually active) and never know it during their entire life. 80% of the U.S. has herpes but do you hear many people admitting to that? No. For note, you can never be 100% sure that someone is "clean" even after being STD/STI tested because HPV (and, NO, Gardasil only helps to prevent 4 out of over 100 strains so you are NOT safe) cannot be detected in men--ever--and it may take a long time before it is detected in a woman.
2. Condoms, typically, are only 88% effective on preventing pregnancy. Hormonal birth control (the pill) is actually only 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage. The "pull-out" method is only about 75% highest effective on preventing pregnancy. The number actually fluctuates between 29% and 75%. NONE protect against STDs/STIs at all. You will ALWAYS be at risk for pregnancy no matter what sort of "protection" you choose to use.
3. Many women never orgasm or actually enjoy sexual activity. Only 25-30% of women orgasm regularly from vaginal penetration (penis in vagina sex) alone. This being said, there are fairly good chances you won't ever have sex that feels "amazing" or anything that you imagine it should be. Your friends? They, most likely, lie about how "awesome" and "mind-blowing" their sex is. (Oh, and, yeah, your first time isn't going to be bliss and it'll probably be fairly painful if you're not loosened up and lubed up enough to allow a fully erect penis inside of you)
4. You can get pregnant before your period. You can get pregnant at the beginning of your period. You can get pregnant during your period. You can get pregnant the day after your period. You can get pregnant after your period. You can even get pregnancy if the guy DOESN'T cum in you too! There is NO "safe" time, contrary to popular belief. All sex is risky.
5. By having sex the first time you will be pressured to continue. You will even pressure yourself because you will have guilt that if you turn your partner down then he will think lower of you or be upset since you "gave in" before. This happens to a lot of men and women. This also goes along with number...
6. If you have sex with a partner that does not share the attachment you may have to them (current attachment, past attachment, or future attachment) then you may end up circling the friends-with-benefits bullshit for the rest of your life. That's how 50 year old "Crazy Cat Ladies" come about. They don't learn how to effectively communicate with partners. They think sex means love and that love means having sex. They never LEARN, GROW, or DEVELOP. They will continue being used and abused. Left for other women. Being led on time after time in hopes that someone will love them like they wish they were loved. THAT is how that happens. This also sort-of goes along with number...
7. Sex can leave a person with very deep emotional scars that are difficult to overcome. Some people are later dumped by their "first" and it leads to depression, self-hatred, and loneliness. This can also lead to #6 above. There also can be something bad happen during the activity that makes the person feel insecure over themselves for a long, long while (possibly forever). You have to realize, sex is a VERY vulnerable time for humans and it can damage a lot of a person's inner self without them even realizing it.
8. Having sex can totally break a relationship if you make too much of it, which is usually done in most cases. Someone may be into some sort of kink that the other isn't comfortable with. Someone may want more that someone cannot give. Someone may become obsessed and seek it more and more when the other person is bored with the same old thing. Someone could be so dissatisfied that they leave the relationship to look for "better" sex.
9. Lastly, prepare yourself for the worst in case you're faced with it. Here are some links. Even if it seems stupid to read and look through these now, you may end up in a situation where you'll be thankful you did...
Read through my answer here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Virginity...is it worthwhile?:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Is ANY sex safe sex?:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
My answer, here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If you need anything above elaborated on, please jot me an inbox question. I have more to say about each and every one of these but I figured you wanted a quick overview. I only speak the truth to you because I once was in your position. I also headed down the wrong path in this manner.
I hope you make the right decision for you.
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I'm 99% sure it's going to hurt. The only advice I can give you is to make sure you're really ready for sex. If you jump right in with any doubts, you might regret it later (not saying you will regret it, but a lot of people do). Other than that, use protection, & you're going to need some lube, too. Other than that, just try to relax & not tense up too bad.
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