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Losing hope
19/f Lately I feel like a total and utter loser. I'm nineteen years old, no license, no job, no car, and I'm not in college. I graduated over six months ago, and still have nothing. I feel like no one really cares. My grandparents keep telling me I need to join the military, and my parents keep reassuring me everything will be fine. I'm starting to think they don't know anything about me. All I do is sit around my house, reed books, see my boyfriend, watch movies, and play on the computer. I'm in over my head worried about health insurance, a place to live, etc. I've been trying to get my license but every time I take it I get nervous and I've already taken it 3 time. I know. Pathetic, right? My boyfriend has been driving with me, but my parents haven't been at all. I feel like I'm at his mercy and that I'm using him, and I don't like feeling that way. I always tell him I appreciate everything he does for me. I just wish I could SHOW him how much I appreciate him. But I don't have anything. What do I do? I don't want to live with my parents forever, what do I do? I hope to get my license but I always get so nervous. How can I make that so it's less? Please help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I understand where you are coming from. To overcome this challenge, don't lose hope. Everyday is a new opportunity for you. You have to control your life. Tell your boyfriend everything because he should understand. He loves you very much so you might as well open up to him. Also set goals for your self to accomplish. Once you reach your goals, you will have a lot to show your boyfriend and you will make him very happy. I hope that helps.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Self-defeating attitudes are not a help, so the first thing you have to do is find away to get a positive attitude for yourself. Not being able to find a job is not a reflection on you, it is a sign of the times. Nationally the unemployment rate is over 10% and this is not adjusted for High School Graduates who are unable to find jobs.
Compounding your inability to find work is your not having a license and reliable transportation. Employers look at this as a major part of their decision when selecting who they will hire. You may be the most qualified for the position; if you do not process, in the employers eyes, a reliable means of getting to work they will chose someone else. This means you must spend more time practicing for your driver’s test so that you are more comfortable driving. The more comfortable you are driving the less nervous you will be taking the test.
You did not say why you are not in College. There are two primary reasons for not going to College; you feel you are not college material or do not have the money. If it is the first reason, then I agree with your grandparents. The Military did wonders for my son whose teacher told me to teach him to remember to ask to super size that order for that was about all he was capable of. That teacher was very surprised when many years later he came to her rescue when she was involved in a car crash. He was the Firefighter/Paramedic assigned to the call. High School did not prepare him for this career, the Military did. They taught him how to learn, how to study and how to pass tests. Today he is, as I said, a Fire Fighter/Paramedic with a BS in Emergency Medical Care. As for money to get his Degree, well the Military took care of that as well. All it cost him was four years service and he took most of his college courses while he was serving.
Don’t want to join the Military but still have monetary problems. Start with your local Community College. Talk with the people in the Finance Department. There are a number of different grants you may qualify for as well as student loans. When money stands in the way to an education the local community college is the best place to start. They have the means to help you, all you have to do is ask. If you are deficient in some of your primary education they will help you there as well. It is really up to you.
If you want a better life you will need a better education. A better education is available to you if you ask for help in obtaining it. My suggestions to you are:
• Visit your local Military Recruiters and investigate a Military Career.
• Visit you local Community College and see what they can offer you as far as funding and testing to see what is needed to get you at the very least an AA Degree.
• Continue practicing for your driver’s license to gain confidence and skill in driving.
Once you have done this you can make an informed decision about your future.
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If it makes you feel any better i'm the same age as you age and i graduated last year i don't have a license,car,or job also not in college either so your not alone i failed my permit test 4 times i wouldn't give up on trying to get your license you've got to be confident and believe in yourself think positively thinking negatively only makes the situation worst ask your parents to drive with you and say that you'd like to give
your boyfriend a break all the driving your doing is going to benefit you remember that when your behind the wheel you can do anything if you put your mind to it practice makes perfect if you don't succeed then try again words of encouragement :)
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You need to go into that drivers test with a positive attitude. I know it can be hard to do but you need to go into it with a more positive attitude. The worst thing that could happen has already happened 3 times. If it happens again, you'll take it again. So what? Its nothing to fear. You know how to do it. You will do fine. When you pass successfully...that's your boyfriends reward for helping you out. Knowing he helped.
You are not a loser. You are 19 with your whole life ahead of you. Step back, take a deep breath, and take it one thing at a time. You will not achieve your goals all at once. It will take time.
First you need that license. Concentrate on that goal first. Forget the rest of them until you pass your test.
Do you want to go to college? If you do there are ways to do that. Research grants. Take just a couple of classes if you want to.
Next on your list....a job.
What do you like to do? Are you a people person?
Do you have a hospital near by? If so it could offer many jobs you may have never thought of. A lot of times hospitals will help pay for schooling for medical related fields if you work for them. If that doesn't interest you, there are clerks in the emergency room & admissions office that check patients into the hospital. There are operators who answer & direct phone calls. Cafeteria workers, laundry workers, transportation people who wheel people to their rooms or from their rooms to testing areas. Thats just a few things.
Most people like to tease about working at fast food restaurants. But it would be a job. If you liked it you could train to be a manager. Managers of fast food places can make a lot of money.
Your goal for a job is to just get one. You can move on later if you don't like it. Don't quit one job though, unless you have another to go to.
You need to get out of the house and into the world. Once you do, you will be surprised at how much better you will feel.
Now, to get to this job you may have to get a ride until you can afford a car. You will have to save some of your money each pay day until you can afford something. Depending on where you live, you could take a bus to work until then. Remember you will also have to save for car insurance, and tags. Then there is gas, and repairs. Keep saving a little every week to pay for unexpected car maintenance.
After you reach those goals, you save for an apartment & other goals you might have. It will take a while. You have to slow down & realize that. Don't get discouraged. Look at achieving your goals one thing at a time. Looking at them all at once is just to overwhelming.
Life is an adventure. You are young. Get out there and start living your adventure.
Best of luck to you! :)
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You just need to find yourself. You need to develop a plan. Who do you want to be? How are you going to get there?
It's not an easy process at all but everybody at your age has to go through it, no matter how many plans they make.
As for the drivers license, there's no secret to passing the test. Just don't think about how much you want it while taking the test. Relax.
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