Age:
28Member Since:
December 1, 2010Answers:
3046Last Update:
December 22, 2014Visitors:
56883Favorite Columnists
Dragonflymagic
solidadvice4teens
rainhorse68
AdviceMistress
adviceman49
Jasmine23
Razhie
NinjaNeer
LaMarionnette
flare
nascarfan1987
more...
about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
So about a month ago my girlfriend admitted to me she might have made a huge mistake but didn't really recollect it. I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 months now and to be honest I'm beginning to fall madly in love with her. I found out that 3 months prior to me dating her ( keep in mind I was talking to her at the time and hooking up with her but we were not dating) she drank way too much alcohol and completely blacked out., woke up the next day in her own piss and puke and the last thing she remembered was being at a party (we attend the same college) and my roommate and friend were hitting on her hard. The next day she texted my "friend" what happened? He replied u got way too drunk we walked you home and you fell asleep. I immediately contacted the both of them to confront them what I've learned..trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. One denied anything happened including walking her home and the other didn’t pick up his phone.. So I realized someone's lying here. I called one of my other roommates up and he told me he meant to tell me about this months ago but couldn't. My one roommate who committed the act blacked out and admitted to my other roommate that this happened. My one roommate then told everyone we were friends with at school about what happened. So here everyone knew the whole time but no one had enough balls to tell me this happened (3 months they kept it from me) he told me that my other roommate who committed the act walked my drunk girlfriend to her room with my friend and she ripped her clothes off an one of them stuck they're penis in her mouth the other banged her in the bed. I told my girlfriend the bad news that I learned. Pissed off as all hell. She started to cry. She doesn't remember a thing besides walking with them and passing out and seeing them leave her room at her apartment. She didn’t say anything to me about it at the time because she wasn't sure herself it was like a blurry dream to her (which u could understand if you've ever been
blacked out on alcohol) she was balling her eyes out and admitted she had sex with my one "friend" in the threesome previously to this incident like a week or two before it but regrets that too she hated it and felt bad she did it to me behind my back...but lied to me when i first initially asked if she had sex with him.. she's always had alcohol problems. She'd black out all the time..one time I had sex with her for like an hour and she doesn't remember a thing. She's been in AA ten times.. Since this incident she quit drinking. Goes home on the weekend to work to pay for a car to use it to see me. She's doing a lot to prove to me she isn't a whore. She's changed. She didn't want that to happen to her. Etc..now the two kids involved with this are now telling my old roommates she wanted to do it etc. I don't know if they're lying and sayin that to clear their name ( they did lie to me when I asked if it even happened) or she really did ask to do it..regardless they are 24 and 22 years old and she's 19. You don't take advantage of a obviously hammered 19 year old like that especially when you consider me a "friend" and I was away that night for my cousins birthday. I'm obviously not friends with these scumbags anymore. But I'm having trouble getting over this incident that happened months before we were dating. It sucks. I feel betrayed by everyone, her, my friends everyone and I'm such a nice guy. She's doing a lot to prove to me she wants to make this up to me.I even questioned about having a MFF threesome with her to make up for it (which I don't know if that's a good idea) and she said no at first but gave into it because she doesn't want to lose me. She practically has no life now and works just for me to pay for her car by driving 2 hours to her hometown on the weekends to work. I don't know what to do. I see her side of the story but I don't want to be labeled a sucker by my friends for giving this "whore" to them a second chance. Even tho she isn't a whore. I feel betrayed by all of them as well. She lied to me and kept this from me so obviously I have trust issues now. And the worst part is I can't stop thinking about this. It kills me that I keep yelling at her for it bringing it up because I warned her something bad like this woulda happened if she didn't learn how to control her drinking. She has changed in front of my eyes so far and I'm proud of her (even losing 20 lbs) since this happened. She's turned her life around completely. I'm just having trouble getting over this especially when people keep reminding me of it..I feel like the world’s biggest sucker (everyone knew except for me) she didn't know either really but still she could have told me "maybe" it happened and that she had sex with my one friend a week prior to this incident.. I don't know what to do if I can't get over this I can't be with her I'm hoping time will help me heal and maybe even a threesome myself (even though hers was more of a rape..) I'm stuck in this dilemma on my last limb ..please help
This sounds like she was taken advantage of. Nobody who is smashed can consent with a clear mind. However even if thus were to be the case, I do not completely defend your girlfriend on this one. People are in control of how much alcohol they consume and here your girlfriend was not responsible.
Anyhow, if this all happened before you got together then I would try and let it slide. Don't allow her to 'make it up' by doing something over again that will repeat what happened that night. Move on and focus on the two of you, Do not let others in your personal lives as this relationship is about the borh of you and not other people.
22/F
My ex and I were together for 5 years off and on. We broke up last september but continued to try to make things work up until november when he just stopped talking to me. He'd always break up with me and then go running back to his ex for a week or two and then come back to me expecting me to accept him and like an idiot I did. this went on for 5 years! Well a mutual friend texted me yesterday asking me if I knew that he was engaged and I completely fell apart. I'm pretty sure he's engaged to that girl and I always knew the day would come where he never came back but I guess I just always hoped he would. Well anyways I lost it and I feel completely heart broken I can't even talk to my current bf about it because I know he'll be like "you still love him? are you not happy with me?" and I really don't know why I feel so sad. I always thought in the end it would be me and him.. I just want to text him so bad and yell at him and tell him how much I hate him but I know that wouldn't solve anything. What did I do?
You are not over him, You cannot truly value a relationship until you are. It is not fair to you or your current boyfriend if you are allowing yourself to drown in old baggage.
STOP looking at his information, Delete his number infant, cut all contact. It has been over a year and you need to except he moved on, You both are no longer together. You are with someone else and if you want that relationship to work then you have to focus on what you have and learn to appreciate it. It is pretty shitty to sit here admitting your still hung up on an ex rather then being happy in your current relationship. Who cares if he got engaged, why does it bother you so much? If someone leaves on and off fir a period of five years then sweetie you need to realize that you never had him to begin with. You need to stop and accept it, from the sound of it your not ready to be with someone new right now. You are in a way lying to yourself and your leading the poor giy on
at my daughters schools from 6th -10th grade, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have
it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable
and give boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause
distractions and goofing off among everybdy? Not to mention young boys will be around girls shirtless which I think is inappropriate for young girls to be around of.
My daughter keeps saying she does not care but she is young and may not understand how wrong this is
this just seems wrong especially at school.You are at school to LEARN. Not to
goof off. Like it or not swimming is a class to workout and learn. Can't really
do that well with young boys and girls together. How can schools be so clueless?
can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off? That boys (who arent known for sensitivity) won't use this opportunity to harass or tease girls? Seems kind of like a naive way of thinking to me
This question has been asked numerous times, I am not even going to bother to lay out why or if thus should be allowed.
Fact is, It is 2013 and things are not what they were 5/10 years ago.
Me and my bf have been dating six days and yesterday he told me he loved me and now he's trying to tell me I can't hang out with my friends and is calling me babe we got into an arguement today because he said something that should not have been said about one of my friends what do I do( I'm 14 he's 16
Run for the hills
If someone tells you who you can and can't hang with, That's the beginning of a jealous and controlling relationship.
I'm in the 8th grade, same for my boyfriend. We started dating yesterday and I got to thinking what could we do on valentines day?
Seeing you are a new couple I would do something small and simple. Maybe a card and candy but don't go over board
I am 17 year old female. I have been dating this kid for about 4 years off and on now. I have came to find that he was skyping with this guy and he masturbated on camera for this guy and he didn't tell me about it, but I found out by going through his ipad. I confronted him about it and he got mad cuz i went through his stuff. Then the next day he told me that he did and he was really sorry about it and he didn't like it at all whn he was doing it. That he just wanted to know if he was into guys or not, he told me he isn't and he knows it for sure now. But i still have thought that he maybe into guys and doing things just by the way he acts and things he says. Please help me. What do i do??
Sounds like he may be bicurious, It could also be possible he is gay and has not excepted it yet. Either way, I consider it to be cheating masturbating on camera with another person other then your partner. No sorry can cut that
Well I'm 24 now and I've started to love a girl (letz call her A) before 2 years ago. She didn't like me first, however eventually I motivated her to love me and she began to start loving me more than I did.
Few months passed and I felt some lack of interest on her than the past. Anyhow I tried really hard to love her and keep her happy. So the relationship flawed as normal for two years.
But for a few months we are having many arguments and quarrels and always those ends after a big stupid shout from me. She maintain the silence and always needs to neutralize and be clam me down and accept the quilt to her account and reunite. Like these incidents, I felt I couldn't live like this for entire my life and I proposed to break up. That was a really hard dry feeling for me and it felt worst for her (even I have a thought that she has knoked her head at a wall, because I noticed a read spot in her forehead)
I couldn't see her in pain(not only in physically) and I reunited with her. She is the most smartest girl I ever met and she is loving me more than her life. But like this I'm gonna be a high tempered red-bull. Even now I'm planing to loose her for my own and her good. (but feel really sorry about her,and cant do it)
However before a week or two, I've found a chance to contact a girl (letz call her C) who was my first crush since the grade 7 (she was grade 4)
That was a huge crush and I spent most of my life (more than a decade) thinking about her.
Its only a chance for contact her, but I felt some fresh feeling about her (may be love) However I don't know about the C's situation and its on hold. But defensibility my mind tells that I need to try her.
These messes are very hard to bare and the most lively things have gone away due to these kind of relationship issues.
After all I like to be alone (even I would not up to C) and I feel I'll definitely not marry A.
I'm in great Pain inside.
With these problems I could not deal with the day to day work and I'm holding some responsibilities over a company's logical decision making and these days I messed.
Please could you advice me, what can a man do in these kind of situation?
Sounds like A has been living a lie the past two years. You said in the beginning she was not interested in you and that you had to motivate her? Sounds more like she tried to convince hetself thst she was in love with you when she wasn't. You cannot make someone love a person, It's either they do or they don't. You wanted more from A then what she could give you. You were in love with her, she was not in love with you.
If you eant to date C then the right thing to do would be to break up with A and let her live het own life while you can live yours.
So i hacked my friends facebook account 5 times in a row and i did something pretty bad to the girls he likes, but they both forgive really easily and they did. Then for mistake i tried hacking his phone.. And ruined it by making all his information disappear. Though after he ruined my pc by turning it off and on by the button and not on shut down. When i skyped him he started insulting me and saying that he would beat me up, i know he cant because hes too scared to do it, i just said and replied to him to do beat me up... So?? What should i do?? If he starts beating me up should i fight back or do nothing??
So basically your proud to say that you are a shitty friend?
Fighting does not solve the problem, You were wrong and did a shitty thing then you need to be a man and apologize.
Treating people the way you just did, You will have no friends. If you did that too me I wouldn't be calling you anymore..
Ohkayy . So as you know Valentines Day is on Thursday. Well I want to get my boyfriend a gift.... But i'm clueless of what to give him : / . He's a teenage boy, to be specific he's 17 years old... He says he dosen't care what i give him but still... I dnt want to buy him socks or bake him cookies or something like that, like dude no. I know for sure i'm giving him a card but what else ??? Help pleasee !!
Try giving him a card with some movie passes? Something you both could do together. :)
Hi im a 15 year old guy from London.i barely know this girl but i really like her!she knows i want to get with her and at a party last night she said she didnt really want to but might another time.the main reason i like her is that at our age all our friends go out and get drunk every week..but she refuses to because she'll regret it later in life.i have so much respect for her because i dont drink either and the pressure is crazy especially for girls.she seems really down to earth and has the nicest eyes ive ever seen(like mila kunis).i really want to go out with her and if i did i would let her know how smart,brave and beaytiful she is...all i want to know is how to get her to like me back? I would be the best boyfriend ever
If you want to grab anyones attention the first thing to do would be to chill a little. Not to be harsh but by what you write your sounding a bit desperate. Be nice to her, complimebt her once in awhile but do not come across as needy. If you do you could end up scaring her off
If you barley know her then try getting to know her. Be her friend abd take it from there just take it SLOW. If she ends up liking you then congrats. If not then you can always find another fish in the sea. You cannot make someone like you
I am 11 and I haven't gotten my period my mom, got hers when she was 10 or 11. My sister got hers at 11. I turn 12 on June 6th. I really feel weird. One day at my lunch table all the girls whispered in each others ears about their period, they didn't ask me because they all knew I don't have it! Please help me!
Relax
Having a period is not something to be proud of nor brag about. I did not get my period until I was 14 years old. Having a period is not fun. It is messy and can be very painful. Yours will come when its meant too come, trust me.
I got fingered today for the first time, it felt good but at the same time had a small burning sensation. he started with 1 finger then used 2. sometimes i would feel like if i had gotten scratched but i ignored it. when I went to the restroom to check there was blood on my panties. it didnt hurt at all untill i tried to go pee. oh my! i couldnt even go pee. there was horrible stinging and burning. i tried drying the small amount of pee & i was bleeding a bit. what should i do? im scared to go pee! & did he break my hymen?
Lol....
Sorry but the last answer was just.... eh
If you have a burning sensation while urinating it very well could be a UTI ( urinary tract infection ) if it continues for more then 24 hours I would see a doctor.
Okay so I am a girl, and I am a teenager. Alright so, my best friend ever has this boyfriend and she really loves him. The problem is she is in a huuuge fight with him and they wont talk at all. I was texting him and he said he is probably going to move to a different state with his brother. I don't know if I should tell my best friend or not, If I don't she may never know or when he tells her and she finds out I knew, she will hate me. But if I do tell her and he was gonna tell her I might ruin them making up and she will hate me..... or she will get all depressed because he didn't tell her or I don't know..... please help me
~someone who doesn't know what to do :/
Stay of out it
This is HER relationship and you should not be getting involved in it. That is rude and nosey, If she wants to vent on you the just listen but do NOT get involved. This is how drama creates, let her handle it. Stay out of her buisness.
I babysit until midnight for this woman, so she can't drive me home. Her kids are in bed and they have school the next morning, so shed have to wake them up. So, she has one of her coworkers drive me home. He's really nice.. But, he's gay. I feel really uncomfortable about it. I sensed it the first time he drove me home, he said a house was pretty. And then I told him I liked country music and he said, So reba? I think she's country i know she has a tv show... And well I haven't ever heard a straight guy say anything like that! So I decided to facebook him and well it turns out he is in fact gay and in a relationship for 20 years with a man.... What should I do? I just feel so weird about this! The bible says homosexuality is a sin and I'm associating with someone who is choosing to live in sin with a man!
I am going to be blunt
I respect people's opinions and religious beliefs, I really do.however I do not respect people who allow their beliefs to interfere with others lives. I by all means am not a religious petson and I do not believe in jesus. I still however respect people who choose to believe these things. This man has the RIGHT to be gay and live it freely. You are allowing yourself to be uncomfortable by judging him. It is 2013, half. Of the worlds population is gay/bisexual/lesbian it's just the way things are. This man may be gay but does this mean he is bad? No. This man is human and has feelings, This man fave you a ride home and was very nice too you. I think you need to lighten up and learn to be more respectful of others instead of being a prude.
we have been together sence i was 18 fallen for each other andd here lately he is been acting different dont talk to me we have 7 other people living with us its his family his nephew has a baby momma and he has been being nice to herr used to didnt like her doing stuff forr herr taking up forr her is something going on or am i just been stupid he says they aint nothing going on but your words andd actions show me different his nephew has been cheating on herr for a month now and sence then me and my boyfriend has been having issues tell me it just me
Hard to say for sure
From what you wrote, Sounds like he feel out of the relationship with you. If he is leaning his attention on someone else then he is probably interested in her.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We are very open and trusting in one another. He has a child with a previous partner but I don't mind and we all get along with each other. A few months ago I came out that I was bisexual and he immediately entertained the idea of a threesome. We talked it over and agreed that it might not be the best idea. He told me he doesn't mind me fooling around with women when we go out to parties but I don't due to the fact it just isn't right. For a while we spoke of inviting others into the bedroom but never have. Well, a few nights ago we were at a party and this girl was hanging all over me and started touching me. He said it was okay so I just laid back and let it happen. I didn't kiss her and I felt a bit odd about it because we hadn't really discussed it with one another. Well, the next day we were talking about it and came to a conclusion. (Our guidelines and rules) We decided that we were both fine with fooling around with people but only if we were both present at the time and comfortable with the person, there would be no kissing or sex (strictly foreplay) if one of us felt left out or anything negative we would stop and that we don't do this with people we are friends with. We are both very open minded people and don't get jealous. I do have a slight fear that it might go sour and it might potentially damage our relationship. I am curious if anyone could give me insight or valuable advice I could apply to the situation, we have thoroughly talked it through and are confident our rules are going to work.
I am against threesomes.
Others may tell you differently but once you invite others into your private like with your spouse you are taking a risk. You take an emotional risk and as much as everything can be cool and trusting, some things don't always go as we plan.
Are you okay if your man started having feelings for the other woman? Would you be okay knowing she could possibly develope feelings for him?... is it really worth the risk? These things could happen. I don't think any sirt of lebel if trust is willing to risk, that's my opinion.
The one thing you need to keep in mind is that you can't just have sexual relations and no have feelings be involved. No matter what, there is always an emotional stand to some extent. I really think if you love your boyfriend then you need to keep your personal life between the both of you only. Threesomes xan very well ruin things
Hi, first of all , excuse my english because I'm not a native speaker, I'm a 25 years old italian girl and my mind is a mess!
I’ve been having sex with this guy for a couple of months, we said “we’ll see what happens between us” but somehow he thought I just wanted him as a fuckbody.
I've really enjoyed these months together, he didnt act as a normal fuckbody, he stayed the whole night everytime we saw, hugged me and kissed me and I’ve never felt this loved before and i think that gave me the wrong idea...finally I got the courage to tell him how I feel, expecting a good reaction from him… but he told me he’s in love with someone else (not corresponded tho), and he was sure from the beginning that I didnt want a boyfriend and that shocked him.
And now, he believes we better stop seeing each other in that way and just keep being friends.
I don’t really know what to do. Stop all contact with him, keep talking as friends or keep having sex as friends hoping he’ll start feeling something for me now he knows how I feel.
Thanks for any advice you could give me.
Sweetie, he lead you on. This man used your feelings to his advantage to get what he wanted. Sounds like he cheated on his girlfriend with you....
You were not his fuck buddy, you were his victim.
I would stay away, stop contact. This Guy is an asshole
So is it just me or am I just me but my question is.. Is it disrespectful for your girlfriend to text and call other guys in front you an talk about your relationship problems with other people than to just talk to the other half?
Yes, very rude and childish
If you let too many people in all too often you are making your relationship look rocky from an outsiders point of view. Also, You are opening yourself up to more drama and chais. If twi people cannot respect one another and act like grown adults then they shouldn't be in a relationship at all. Not you but this girlfriend of yours already sounds like she isn't very happy.
Well, I look at girls boobs and their bums and like I am really worrid!! I don't want to be lesbian. AM I?? Please please help me out ??
You would only really know if you had sexual relations with another woman. Looking at another womas butt and breast does not make you a lesbian. I can assurre you that every woman has looked at breast from time to time its actually kind if normal.
Sure, I have looked at another womans butt and breast many times. I even have thought to myself " Wow!" But I can assure you I am 100% straight. Women all too often compare themselves and even when we do not realize it. No sweetie, This does not mean you are a lesbian.
Well to start off.. I'm 19 years old and I'm a female. So a couple of years ago me and this guy who is a year younger than I am started to get to know eachother. I've never been one to fall easy for people and I did fall for him. HARD. As corny as this sounds (and I hate corny) I fell for him the first night we actually met. He was really into me as well and we continued talking. Eventually school started back for him and naturally.. Once he was back in contact with his ex he went back to her.. And the rest was history. He started shying away from me and i, not knowing what to do (I'd never been in that situation before) made the mistake of falling even harder and getting clingy towards him. It got to the point where (before i knew about his ex) decided to give up my morals for him bc in all honesty i would have given anything up for him. (And ive always been one to stand strong by my morals) so needless to say.. We took eachothers virginity.. After we already werent talking anymore but i starved the attention from him. It didnt take long before i told him it had to end bc i was getting too emotionally attached and if our relationship wasnt going to go any further than i couldn't keep hurting myself. I havent heard from him hardly at all since then and yet hes always stayed in the back of my mind and no matter how hard i pray about it.. The pain and thirst for him never goes away. I've tried to contact him since then to make peace and feel better about our confusing past relationship and he texts back and is really nice and then in the middle of the convo its like he purposely cuts me off to drive me crazy and it gets me so worked up and even more consumed by him! Is he doing this on purpose? Or does he genuinely not care? Or what! And what should i do since he won't be a man about the situation and face me?
You are thinking to hard on it
If he went back to his ex, then he was bot interested in having a relationship with you. sounds to me like maybe he was just flirting with you while he still had strong feelings for his ex. Giving up everything to me sounds a bit needy abd desperate. The point here id that this happened 2 years ago, its the past, its over, it was a long time ago. If he was interested in you he would if made it work with you. You need to learn to except that the past is the past and move on. This guy has moved on, he is with someone. Stop allowing yourself to drown in the idea of things.