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My ex is engaged and I'm devastated?
22/F
My ex and I were together for 5 years off and on. We broke up last september but continued to try to make things work up until november when he just stopped talking to me. He'd always break up with me and then go running back to his ex for a week or two and then come back to me expecting me to accept him and like an idiot I did. this went on for 5 years! Well a mutual friend texted me yesterday asking me if I knew that he was engaged and I completely fell apart. I'm pretty sure he's engaged to that girl and I always knew the day would come where he never came back but I guess I just always hoped he would. Well anyways I lost it and I feel completely heart broken I can't even talk to my current bf about it because I know he'll be like "you still love him? are you not happy with me?" and I really don't know why I feel so sad. I always thought in the end it would be me and him.. I just want to text him so bad and yell at him and tell him how much I hate him but I know that wouldn't solve anything. What did I do?
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When you love someone you never truly get over them. They are always in the back of your mind. If you would like to actually talk about this. Feel free to add and message me. No amount of advice on this site will make you get over him. I can however help you learn how to put it out of your mind and move on with your life.
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It's okay to grieve something that was a bit part of your life.
But don't text him. He’s out of your life – he already was out, but it’s understandable that it feels more final now.
He's a piece of shit. You know this better than anyone. The idea that he was ever going to give you anything like the life or relationship you actual wanted was a fantasy, and now you have to let that fantasy die. It’s sad, but it was going to happen someday.
So grieve the fantasy, grieve for the hope you had that he might be a better person than his behavior ever suggested, and cry out all the stupid things you did for him.
You went back and forth in this drama for years with him. It's understandable that you still have feelings about the situation. Frankly, I think you ought to pity the girl he is marrying more than anything else - any guy who would bounce between 2 girls for five years isn't likely to stop that kind of behavior just because of a wedding.
So go ahead and grieve, but don't pretend you want him back. The guy you wanted to be with was a fantasy - not who he really is. Who he really is kind of sucks.
You are right that this would be tough for your boyfriend to understand – but talk it out with a friend or two. It’s okay to admit that you are sad. It doesn’t mean you want him back. It’s okay for things to be more complicated than that.
In the end though, you have to be grateful - grateful for and end of that dramatic and deceptive era of your life. You don’t have to be hung up on him. Instead, you can use this as the moment to really let the door close on that chapter of your life, and to be free of it.
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You are not over him, You cannot truly value a relationship until you are. It is not fair to you or your current boyfriend if you are allowing yourself to drown in old baggage.
STOP looking at his information, Delete his number infant, cut all contact. It has been over a year and you need to except he moved on, You both are no longer together. You are with someone else and if you want that relationship to work then you have to focus on what you have and learn to appreciate it. It is pretty shitty to sit here admitting your still hung up on an ex rather then being happy in your current relationship. Who cares if he got engaged, why does it bother you so much? If someone leaves on and off fir a period of five years then sweetie you need to realize that you never had him to begin with. You need to stop and accept it, from the sound of it your not ready to be with someone new right now. You are in a way lying to yourself and your leading the poor giy on
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