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The one guy I havent gotten over in 2 years.. And we never dated!
Well to start off.. I'm 19 years old and I'm a female. So a couple of years ago me and this guy who is a year younger than I am started to get to know eachother. I've never been one to fall easy for people and I did fall for him. HARD. As corny as this sounds (and I hate corny) I fell for him the first night we actually met. He was really into me as well and we continued talking. Eventually school started back for him and naturally.. Once he was back in contact with his ex he went back to her.. And the rest was history. He started shying away from me and i, not knowing what to do (I'd never been in that situation before) made the mistake of falling even harder and getting clingy towards him. It got to the point where (before i knew about his ex) decided to give up my morals for him bc in all honesty i would have given anything up for him. (And ive always been one to stand strong by my morals) so needless to say.. We took eachothers virginity.. After we already werent talking anymore but i starved the attention from him. It didnt take long before i told him it had to end bc i was getting too emotionally attached and if our relationship wasnt going to go any further than i couldn't keep hurting myself. I havent heard from him hardly at all since then and yet hes always stayed in the back of my mind and no matter how hard i pray about it.. The pain and thirst for him never goes away. I've tried to contact him since then to make peace and feel better about our confusing past relationship and he texts back and is really nice and then in the middle of the convo its like he purposely cuts me off to drive me crazy and it gets me so worked up and even more consumed by him! Is he doing this on purpose? Or does he genuinely not care? Or what! And what should i do since he won't be a man about the situation and face me?
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What do you want from him?
It IS hard to get over someone who you were never really 'with'. You get stuck in the honeymoon phase and stay infatuated with the person you think they are, without ever really meeting the person they actually are - warts and all.
So yes, this is particularly tough, but what is it exactly you think he's withholding from you? What is he 'not facing'?
You've opened the door a few times, and welcomed him back into your life and he hasn't walked through it. He's never invited you back into his life. He's responding out of politeness. He's stopping the conversation because he doesn't want to talk to you anymore.
You are torturing yourself.
You made a mistake with him and you regret it. You very wisely stepped away from him when you realized that he couldn't give you what you needed.
So, what do you want from him now?
Do you want to scream and cry at him?
Do you want to beg, or demand, that he love you?
What does he need to do to give you peace?
Most importantly: Do you think those are fair things to demand of him?
I don't.
Acting like a man doesn't mean letting every women you ever had sex with treat you like an emotional punching bag and drag you through her unhappiness and confusion whenever she needs too. Being a man means being respectful and polite to women - and you haven't told us he isn't doing that.
Face reality: He doesn't have the peace you are looking for. He's not keeping it from you.
You are denying yourself peace when you pretend he's the one who can give it to you.
So end the fantasy and stop looking for answers in the wrong place.
Delete his phone number. Unfriend him on Facebook. End this connection completely and go find the answers and peace you need, by yourself.
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You are thinking to hard on it
If he went back to his ex, then he was bot interested in having a relationship with you. sounds to me like maybe he was just flirting with you while he still had strong feelings for his ex. Giving up everything to me sounds a bit needy abd desperate. The point here id that this happened 2 years ago, its the past, its over, it was a long time ago. If he was interested in you he would if made it work with you. You need to learn to except that the past is the past and move on. This guy has moved on, he is with someone. Stop allowing yourself to drown in the idea of things.
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