I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65010
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me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago. and i just got a new boyfriend a few days ago and i like him a lot. but my ex boyfriend called me lastnight and told me how much he wanted me back and missed me and i just dont know what to do. he treated me bad but i still love him and care about him and dont know if i should be with my current boyfriend. being held by him just doesnt feel the same but i know if i go back to my old boyfriend that nothing will change. can somebody please lemme know what to do? (link)
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The problem with guys who treat us bad is that for some reason we find them strangely alluring. I don't know why this is but it seems to be some masochistic desire.
What you need to do is let your better judgement take over here. Remember back to the way he treated you. You know you don't want to have to go through that again so you know that you can't get back with him, no matter how you feel about him. Sometimes, love just isn't enough. You need to look after yourself first and realise that although you love him, this isn't the sort of love that is good for you. Be strong enough to say no to him.
As for your current boyfriend, if you know in your heart of hearts that it just can't work out, without comparing him to anyone else then it might be better if you weren't with him. It's also never a good idea to be with a guy if you're not yet over an ex because your heart needs time to recover before it can truly let other people in again. So if you're not over this 'bad boy' you were with, you owe it to yourself to take the time to get over it before you try to let anyone else in.
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So I've been best friends with this guy for over a year, we both like eachother but we haven't really done anything about it. He always likes these other girls, too and they end up not talking to him anymore because their not intrested. He hates it when the girls stop talking to him completly, and it seems like girls always break his heart. He comes to me when he feels bad about it because I'm the only girl he trusts. I always joke around and say "I'll be your girlfriend" (But really, I'm not joking and he knows it) and he says "I wish". If he wishes, why wont he just ask me out? I want to be with him so bad, What should I do?
Thanks. (link)
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He probably doesn't ask you out because of the same reason you don't ask him out! When you've liked someone for a long time there's a lot at risk if you take it further. Even more so when you're best friends.
They say that the best relationships work out because they started off as friends. Personally, I believe this is true because you can't have a more solid foundation to build a relationship on than a good honest friendship.
Well....I think that if you really like this guy and you want to take it further, now is the time to do something about it, since I don't think he's going to after all the times he has been hurt by other girls. Whether you choose to just sit down and talk to him about it (tell him you have feelings for him - you could say 'someone' rather than him - who is a close friend but you're worried it might hurt the friendship and what should you do? Then see what he says. Or just come straight out with it and tell him you like him and would he go out with you.) or whether you feel brave enough to move straight in for the kill and kiss him is entirely up to you but based on what you have said, I think you will find him receptive.
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me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 months and everything is going great...but his step mom, his real mom died when he was young, totally wants me dead! ive only met her once. she was smiling and everything at me but then when he went to invite me over he told me that she hated me. his dad and brother love me but his step brother and sister hate me to. i never did anything wrong to them. i have barely ever talked to them. his dad told me not to worry about it because she(his step mom) is just upset because her son doesnt have a gf and is jealous. what can i do to get her to like me? i rate 5's. (link)
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Truth? There might not be anything you can do to change her mind about you. I know that sounds really tough but some people get to be very set in their ways and if they take a dislike to someone, they might be too stubborn to change their point of view.
If she really is jealous, she will be hoping that your relationship will crash and burn. Unless that happens, there's probably not going to be anything that you can do that will make her happy.
Given this, I don't think it's worth you spending your time trying to impress her or get her to like you. The best thing you can do right now is to rise above it and focus on the point of all this. Your boyfriend. If his Stepmother doesn't like you, it doesn't matter because it's not her relationship and if she really cares about your boyfriend, she will come round in time by herself. This should also happen with his Stepbrother and sister.
In the meantime, try not to worry about it too much. His biological relative is the one you need to worry about and he's already made it clear that he likes you. You don't need to do anything about the jealous step-family unless they start behaving badly towards you. Then you will need to step up and say something to them about it.
Just carry on with your relationship as normal and ignore their feelings on this occasion. They're based on petty jealousy and not worth worrying about.
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How can I explain to my boyfriend that if his parents end up getting a divorce it isn't his fault?
Please Read. I'll rate!
Details [if they might help]
....Last night when I was talking on the phone to my boyfriend on the phone he told me that he thinks his parents are going to get a divorce. He says that all they ever do is fight and that his dad has slept on the couch everynight for the past two months. He said that his parents haven't said anything about getting a divorce, but he can just feel it and his younger brothers and sister cannot. He is 17 and the oldest kid in the famliy and he feels like this is all his fault. He thinks he has put too much stress on his parents because:
1. He is the oldest and is never home. He is always out with his friends.
2. He almost died last year when he fell off the stairs at school. [infact he feels that he cheated death because he was falling head first and landed on his feet]
I need a way to explain to him that if his parents get a divorce it wont be his fault.
(link)
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Your boyfriend is going through a terrible ordeal right now and if his parents DO get a divorce, it's going to get much harder on him because the chances are he will be forced to choose between his parents at some point. He needs to find a way to stay strong through this.
He needs to realise that the relationship between his parents is nothing to do with him. It's hard to explain but parents' relationships are a completely separate entity from their children and although marriages can be affected by their children, it wouldn't get to this stage because of anything a child had done. What I mean is that no matter what he or his siblings have or have not done, they wouldn't be having marital problems if there wasn't a problem there to begin with.
Moreover, although I understand it's his parents and he will want to help, there's NOTHING he can do and nothing he should do to fix it because it just isn't his responsibility to repair a relationship he isn't in. Their relationship involves only two people. His Mum and his Dad and he cannot get involved in that because they need to sort out their differences together.
I would also like to point out that normally bad things that happen to children help to pull most family's together. If they are still falling apart, it is NOT his fault. As I said, there must have been problems there for a while and he really can't blame himself because there's nothing he can do to change what is happening.
However, he DOES need to let his parents know the effect their problems are having on him and his brothers and sister. Whatever the problem they have, they shouldn't be letting it get to such a stage where it's making life for everyone else so much harder and, although I hate to say it, if things really are this bad, it might not be such a bad thing if they were apart.
Your boyfriend sees his parents as one thing. His parents. What he needs to do is see them as ordinary people, like everyone else. Like everyone else in a relationship, they're having some problems right now and like everyone else, if a relationship just can't work, there's no point pretending that it can, rather than ending it. After all, a prolonged loveless relationship will have a far worse effect on them all in the long run.
So get him to talk to them and let them know the detrimental effect this is having on them all and that if things really are this bad, they need to either get some help, such as marriage counselling or they ought to call it quits and end it.
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ok sorry this might be long ill rate all 5's for your time.
i like this guy and he said he likes me back but he doesnt trust girls cause he's been hurt in the past. My one friend who is friends with him too talked to him about it and tried to get it threw his head that i wouldnt hurt him like that and i've tried also. i just dont know what to do anymore i like him so0o0o0o much and ill wait for him. but i dont know sometimes i think im wasting my time cause he'll never date me.
any advice on what to do?
thanks ! (link)
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It really depends on how many times you have tried to speak to him about this. Although it is worth a couple of tries, if you're too persistent, he may be very put off by it all.
Whatever happened to his in the past has obviously really destroyed his faith and trust in women and sometimes that can't be replaced by another woman. It might just take time.
I would suggest that if you think you can get away with talking to him about this one more time, you do it yourself and do not let your friends get involved. If you were to have a relationship with this guy, your friends wouldn't be involved with it so don't get them involved now. If it is you with the feelings, you have to be the one to express them.
Explain to him that you really care about him and have, over time, developed strong feelings for him. Tell him that although you understand he's scared of getting hurt again, you can't just deny the way you feel about him and you hope he understands that. You wouldn't hurt him because you couldn't bear to see him upset and that although he's in a bad place right now, he can't run from the possibility of falling in love or even just dating forever or he won't know what it truly is to be happy. Then tell him that you really want to be given a chance to show him that it is possible to have a happy relationship without it ending in such pain.
Hopefully that will bring him round but I would strongly recommend that if it doesn't, you let the issue go once and for all. Once you have your feelings out and he knows how you feel about him and about the whole situation, there's nothing further you can do or say so give him time.
Good luck
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okay so in school i sometimes need to fart.. its really weird because i dont eat anything before school ..so why do i fart? or need to? (link)
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Flatulence can come from a number of causes. It can be a genetic thing, it can be from eating certain foods which produce addition gas in the body or it can be an indication of a digestive problem, such as an allergy or intolerance.
If you really don't notice it occurring after you eat foods like prouts or cabbage (very well known for causing flatulence - and some particularly smelly ones too!), perhaps you could see if it is worse after you eat 'normal' foods, such as dairy or foods that contain wheat, egg and so on. These are well known for causing flatulence problems if you are intolerant or allergic to them so it's worth seeing if limiting your intake of them or increasing your intake makes the situation better or worse.
If it's particularly painful gas then it might be worth speaking to your doctor, just to ensure that nothing is wrong and to check you out for allergies.
Finally, please remember that although it's used as a huge point of humour on TV and in films, breaking wind is still a natural way to release gases from the body so as long as there is nobody around who is going to laugh at you, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
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SOrry about the subject.
I was online the other day at like 3 am and my ex had IMed me. i brok eup with him about 2years ago. It was kinda the parents fault because of my grades and they told me i couldnt see him anymore. So online he was like hey slut: im like shut up and leave me alone. like half way thru him talking to me he told me if he ever snapped he would kill me. He said when i broke up with him i made him suffer and i causeed him to have no respect for girls anymore. Im like why do you say stuff like that and he said he can. He has a girlfriend right now that he has been with for over a year they live together. He had no trust in me what so ever. We wouldnt of lasted. My question is what do i do about him saying he would kill me? I dont have any prove because the message got deleted. I told my mom.
He lives in a different state. And he doesnt know where i live because i had moved.
Any help would be wonderful thnk. (link)
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I really don't think this was a true threat. If he lives with another girl now and is in a different state, chances are he was probably drunk.....or possibly having some form of psychotic episode...and when he saw you online he decided to 'have some fun' with you. NOT very fun at all.
On most Instant Messaging services at the moment, there are controls you can use to record all of the conversations you have. I would recommend that you turn this on if you do have it, in case he speaks to you in a similar manner again. That way you have the proof. If you don't have a way to record conversations, just make sure you print it off before you close it down.
I really don't think he will do anything, so please don't worry too much about it. I would say that this guy has some serious problems and he's taking them out on you. You can't be the one to blame for his irrational behaviour. Certain things happen to us in life and it's down to the individual to deal with it. You are not responsible for how he took the end of your relationship and by the sounds of it, you had a very lucky escape because he sounds like a nasty piece of work.
Just remember to record any future contact with you and if it starts to become more frequent or if he threatens you again, take the matter to the police, just as a caution and see if he can be cautioned for harassment.
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I just got a great new boyfriend. But I'm totally afraid to kiss him because I've never kissed anyone before and everyone's like you'll know how to do and stuff but srsly, I don't know if I go on the top lip, bottom lip, what? I'm so confused. And also, how can I not have bad breath while making out with him? It seems no matter how hard I brush my teeth and stuff I always seem to have bad breath!!! Gum solves the problem but i cant have gum when I make out. Please help, thanks. Love, Chels. (link)
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First kisses are ALWAYS scary so don't worry, this is totally normal.
I know it's a cliche and not really what you want to hear right now but when it comes to kissing a guy you really like, it all comes very naturally. Wait until he goes in for the kiss and tilt your head the opposite way to his. The first part of the kiss normally lands on both lips at once and from there it kind of....gets better, I guess would be the best way to describe it. Once you get into it, it's really very easy. Follow his lead. When he opens his mouth a little or moves away slightly, do the same.
However, the truth is, when you actually kiss this guy, none of what anyone says will matter because you won't remember any of it. A good kiss can make us forget pretty much everything and make the world go blurry. It doesn't matter how you do it because it REALLY IS all very natural and it will just fit.
As for the problems with your breath, make sure that on the day you think you'll kiss, before you go out you give your teeth a good brush (brush your tongue too, as bacteria on the tongue is the most common cause of bad breath), use a good mouthwash and floss your teeth. If you still find you have problems with your breath, see your dentist to make sure you don't suffer from halitosis (a condition in the mouth which causes bad breath).
Most of all, make sure you relax. You need to relax into a kiss or it will all be too wooden. Remember you're not doing it to make him like you. He wouldn't be going out with you unless he already liked you. You're just kissing him as a way to connect on a deeper level and show your feelings physically. SO take a deep breath, relax and the rest will just happen.
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Ok. I'm a Christian, but I do not know the Bible cover to cover like some people do. I have 3 friends, who I love dearly, but they are just totally lost and I really want to save them but I have no clue as of how to do that. Like.. Ok.. here's their stories.
Billy 16-years-old: He's a terrible alcoholic who parties all the time and sometimes gets high but he is surely damned to hell because he has committed sexual immortality several times. He is one of those people who doesnt care about the Bible or God and makes jokes about religion at times. So I do not know how to talk to the guy.
Jessica 15-years-old: She's like my best friend but she's like never been to church. I've invited her before several times, but she always comes up with a reason not to go. And here lately we've lost friendship & she has lost herself to starting to drink because of peer pressure and she's became sexually active, so to say. And she's similiar to Billy, doesnt care.
Brittany 15-years-old: She's bisexual and she parties like every weekend and gets soo drunk & she cusses all the time but everytime I mention church or something of the sort, she cracks a joke & says something like, "Gosh you're such a goodie-goodie". And even though she's never had sex, she's did other stuff with girls and guys, so. I really want to help her & even though she goes to church often, she doesnt act Christian-like at all.
I really care for these people because they are like 3 of my best friends, but I have no clue has to how to help them. They are sooo young and if they were to die tomorrow or even today, they would go straight to hell & I really want to share my eternity with them in Heaven. So anyone with any advice, please help. (link)
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I do understand what you're saying and obviously this is something you feel very strongly about. But you have to learn that you can't control everything with religion and you certainly can't control other people.
Your beliefs tell you that their behaviour will condemn them to hell. I know you want what's best for them and the fact you want to help so much is a great thing but you can't expect them to do what you want all the time when they have their own lives to lead too. The Bible tells you to spread the word of God and to lead others away from evil but it doesn't say you can force them to do as you wish.
I hate to say it but you need to let them go ahead and make their mistakes right now. Yes, a lot of what they are doing is wrong and in time they will learn this themselves but trying to stop them doing it will only make them more rebellious. If you really want to help them, try getting them non-spiritual help. If their parents aren't aware that they are drinking and taking drugs (particularly dangerous given their ages) then maybe you could have a word with them and let them know your concerns. However, I would advise you to be extremely careful in doing this as your friends won't thank you for it. Perhaps in time they may realise you helped them but at first it will make things worse.
Give them contact numbers for drug and alcohol abuse helplines. Try to get them interested in doing something else. But don't try to force them to practise your religion. Not only will it be a tiresome and thankless task, they will only put up with being told they're going to hell so many times before begin to resent you for it.
Just make sure you are there for them for now. Let them know that you're there to help them and you want to help them and explain you don't agree with a lot of what they're doing because it goes against everything you believe in. However, you know you can't force them to stop so you want to make sure they know you will be there when they crash from it all.
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Hello I don't know if this is the right place to ask this question but i find my boyfriends body a little weird and wanted to see if this is rare or if it happens in some men.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. We can only have sex one time a night as my boyfriend says it takes 24 hours for his sperm to build up again. I have been with other guys and this has never been the case with them. If he tries to do it again before the 24 hours and he does come it takes ages and then he feels ill for the rest of theday. Could there be somethng the matter with him and should he get medical advice? (link)
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It doesn't take 24 hours for sperm to build up again in a man's body. ANY man's body. However, after a man has ejaculated once, it can be more difficult to do it again, as it can leave them quite sore afterwards and very sensitive. When I say sensitive, I don't mean in a good way! Obviously this is not the same for all men but it certainly sounds as though this is what is happening to your boyfriend.
As for the feeling ill, I'm afraid I can't work out a connection. Loss of sperm wouldn't make him feel ill at all so I can't see a reason for this. It may be that making love more than once over-exerts him and this is why he feels ill.
Personally, I'm not sure that there is a medical problem that needs to be investigated as it mostly sounds very normal. However, if you do have concerns, it is always best to talk it over with a doctor to be on the safe side. Especially when it concerns the reproductive system, as men aren't always as careful as they should be about looking after this part if something might be wrong.
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At least how old do you think a girl should be to have a first kiss? I don't mean a peck on the cheek, and 8 year olds drooling all over each other's noses does NOT count (link)
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To have a proper 'snog' type-kiss, I would probably be creeped out if I saw any kids younger than 12 or 13 doing it.
Truth is, kissing is meant to be a big deal because they say you can tell everything you need to know about a guy from a kiss and, not wanting to offend any of the younger people on here, I think you need to be probably around 15/16 before you can truly appreciate the importance of a good kiss. Until you're that age, it's still something most kids just want to do at school discos because they think it's cool.
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Hey all im a frequent user on this site and i ussually am the one giving advice. But now im on the other end of the receiver. I need your guys help. There is this guy who is one of my best friends his name is lowell and there is my fiancee named andrew well i used to have a thing going on with lowell and me and him started going out but its just a lust thing and he knew it. Well hes starting to love me and lowell is liek a little kid, he throws a fit about everything i knew it was wrong and i still love my fiancee i want to tell lowell ya know what i love you but i love andrew more and its over but i want to be friends. I have told lowell before but he wont listen to me he takes it as im cheating on him with andrew but its the other way around. I need your help its an awful thing that i did but i cant help it. Help me please!
~*~ Short N Punky ~*~ (link)
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This is a really tricky one. My general feeling is that if you truly do love someone, you would never cheat on them because you don't need to.
However, you say you love both of them and you really need to sort this situation out. First of all, you need to speak to Lowell and explain that although you care about him, your fiancee means more to you and you really want your relationship with him to work out. Tell him that although you have had fun, you just can't see him any more.
In my personal opinion, I think you should tell Andrew. Obviously I know you won't want to do this because it could have huge consequences you don't want to face but the fact is that you have cheated on your future husband before you even got married. Other than the fact relationships (especially marriages) HAVE to be built on trust, you need to think about the fact you will be married to this guy for the rest of your life and you are meant to be solely with him. Are you sure you want to be with him forever?
I don't want it to sound as though I am discouraging you from getting married. I do, however, want to stress to you that you are basing a lifelong commitment on a relationship in which you have already cheated on the man. If you are atracted elsewhere then, though you love him, maybe he isn't the one for you? I'm sorry, but I had to say it.
Whatever you decide, you need to make sure that you have as little to do with Lowell in the future.
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Ok so this is kinda of a long story...well i cheated on Scott last night with one of my ex-boyfriends, see Timothy ( the guy i cheated on scott with) and me have known each ohter since we were kids he was my first kiss and my first real boyfriend. We dated a couple of times but were three years apart so we had to sneak around well he moved awhile ago, like far far away and we lost touch with each ohter. Well i saw him yesterday for the first time in maybe like a year or two..and he told me that he's still wating on me and he still loves me and then we kissed not once but alot. And the thing is i don't feel bad about it at all..i don't plan on telling scott what happend i know i probaly should but...i want to be with timothy but i don't know what he wants i was supposed to call him but i am too scared should i call? i am not going to break up with scott unless things work with me and timothy...is that wrong? i am stressing out about this and i dont know what to do please help me... (link)
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I can understand your situation. You had a reasonabley happy relationship with your current boyfriend but although you like him, part of you will always be a little attached to Timothy because he was very special to you. Given this, it's understandable that when you saw him again, those emotions came back.
However, although you don't feel guilty about it, I'm sure you know that what you did was wrong and that, although you don't want to risk losing both of the guys, you can't string Scott along if your heart's not in it.
I would recommend that you phone Timothy and tell him how you feel. Explain you were upset when he went away and that last night reminded you of how much you cared about him. Then ask if he would be willing to give the relationship another try.
If he says yes, the first thing you have got to do is to call Scott and break up with him. DO NOT tell him about Timothy because it will make the situation a lot worse. Normally I am all for being honest but telling him about last night will only cause him unncessary hurt. Explain that you just don't feel you have the right chemistry and that now your ex has come back, you owe it to yourself to give it another go.
He will be upset if you have been going out for a while so when you are with Timothy, try to keep it all from Scott for a while, just so it doesn't look like you're throwing it all in his face.
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ok so my friends boyfriend rappe me..and i told on him because everyone on here told me i should and im glad they did cuz now hes in juvey and my friend is mad at me because i got him sent there but she dosent know why and im not sure if i want to tell her..she has a BIG mouth..and she wont answer my phone calls..or IMs..what should i do???
Sammy (link)
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I think there are only three available options here. I expect she probably thought something was wrong. After all, however much she cared about him, you don't get sent down for being a good guy.
You could try writing her a letter, explaining everything and asking that she understand that although you knew she would be mad at you, you couldn't risk him getting away with it and going on to do the same thing to other people. Possibly even her at some point.
You could leave her be completely. She is in denial about the whole situation and chances are when she has had time to cool off and think about it, she'll realise something must have happened and you wouldn't have reported him if he hadn't done something really bad.
The only other option I can think of is to go to her house and try to speak to her face to face. Try to explain to her that you knew it might risk losing her as a friend but it was the only thing you could do after what he had done to you. She might not accept this at first but again, after she has had time to think, she should come around and realise you had to do it.
Just remember, please, that you did the right thing and although she is upset with you, you could have saved her from the same thing he did to you. That alone should be of some comfort. Her emotions are clouding her judgement right now and there's nothing you can do about that. You just need to keep reminding yourself you did the right thing.
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well
my ex dumped me he said it wasnt me it was him ( such an old line ) okies well after he dumped me he went over and asked another girl out he didnt even wait 1 hour before dumping me well i nkow there going out cause there always togther and his hugging her and everything but he dosnt want anyone to know cause he will nkow that i will get upset and um i really like him but he likes her and i know he dumped me for her he said he loves me as a sister but that was an excuse to break up im really upset that there going out and he alwys hugs her and everything in front of me and when i ask him are use going out he says no and im kinda jealous please help what do i do i tried hanging with my friends but whereever we go we see htem togther =[=[=[=[ plz plz help :( (link)
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This is a bit of a tough one because although you're not going out with him any more and he shouldn't have to hide this girl from you, it's really insensitive to parade her around like that and then deny they're dating.
Unfortunately, there isn't really a lot that you can do about this. Fact is that he is being very unsensitive and as much as he shouldn't do that, there's no way to stop him. Do NOT talk to him about it again because I doubt it would do anything and some guys can get a little weird about things like that. It's just not worth the effort.
However, what you do need to do is to start the process of getting over him. He's clearly a bit of a jerk if he can so blatantly dump you for another girl and he doesn't deserve you.
I would suggest you get your favourite ice cream (Cookies and Cream Haagen Dazs was always my comfort food of choice) and some other horribley fattening desserts and spend a whole weekend wallowing. Stuff your face with every tasty treat you can find, cry your eyes out over him and the way he's hurt you. Write a letter to him saying everything you would love to say to him right now. How much you care about him still but how much you hate what he's done to you. Then, don't send it. Either burn it or tear it to shreds and throw it away. Sounds daft but it's actually very therapeutic!
Afterwards, pick yourself up, give yourself a good makeover and resign yourself to getting over him. Remind yourself that you are a great person who deserves to be treated with respect and that you can do a LOT better than him. Then go out with your friends and do something fun. Anything at all but make sure you banish him from your thoughts and let yourself have fun. Once you can do this, you're on a good road to getting over him.
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I have this secret that I haven't told one of my really good friends yet (lets call her Ruby). It's about this boy I like I have told four other people, and three of them are my other really good freinds. Well I don't want to tell Ruby because she doesn't have much experience with boys AT ALL and she wouldn't get it like my other freinds would. Should I tell her? Because if she knew I told these other girls before her she would be mad. So bottom line, Should I tell her? Even though I don't want to? Would you personally be mad if you were Ruby? (link)
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I think you need to put yourself in 'Ruby's' shoes for a minute.
I can understand why you would be reluctant to tell her but without first hand experience, the only way she will gain any knowledge or experience about relationships with boys is through her friends. There was a time where we were all as naive as her so you really need to give her a chance.
You also need to remember that your friends will all be talking to each other and it would be MUCH better that you tell her than have her hear it from one of your other friends, which is inevtiable at some point down the road. You don't need to tell her you told the others first. Just tell her and if she finds out you told the others first, apologise and point out that someone had to be told first and someone had to be told last. It just happened to be her this time and if it's that important to her, next time she won't be the last to know.
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I am glad these kids have a place to go where they may get some logical advice about sex (and some bad advice too which is sad)
I am just wondering how many of you "adults" think that too many are having sex too early? To me, they know very little about the consequences--most questions are asked after the fact. Perhaps this shows that sex education is not done early enough and it is not effective enough. What do you think? (link)
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I'm 20 and I have to agree, I don't think enough information is available for younger people who may be considering having sex.
I watched a TV programme recently called 'Let's Talk Sex' and the statistics of young people getting STI's, STD's and falling pregnant were ridiculous. The UK has one of the highest, or the highest rates of teen pregnancy and underage sex in Western Europe.
When I was at school, we had sex education at around 11 years old. We had it again twice in secondary school and I was happy with it. They covered all the available forms of contraception, the biology of sex and so on. Having watched the programme, however, I've found out that sex education is not compulsory in UK schools, as all they told they have to teach is the biology of the reproductive system. Most schools don't teach about different forms of contraception beyond condoms and the majority of young adults don't know how to put on a condom!
Far too many kids are having sex between the ages of 13 and 16, when, in my opinion, they are too young to understand all of the implications involved in a sexual relationship. There's a lot of emotional issues they just aren't aware of and too many don't understand enough about contraceptives, pregnancy, STI's and STD's.
Since this is the case, I feel sex education (AND relationships) should be taught from the age of around 6 and up, as they do in Holland. Teach them about relationships when they are 6, the biology of the reproductive system when they are a few years older and then about the whole lot when they reach around 13/14. This way they grow up with respect for themseolves, with a full understanding of sex and relationships and rather than viewing it as a taboo and embarrassing subject, it will be what it actually is. A normal part of every day life and something which cannot be undertaken without a strong sense of responsibility.
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how do i slow dowm my period for a few days? (link)
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You can't slow down your period but there is a tablet you can get from your doctor which can help to prevent it from coming on for a few days. I got it when I went on holiday a few years ago before I went on the Pill. I can't remember what it is called but if you see your doctor, they should be able to prescribe it to you. You take one a day, starting from a few days before your period is due. You then take one a day every day until you are ready to get your period and it will come on by itself.
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Okay, i have a question.. I used to be on birthd control I stopped taking it about a month ago, but my periods late this month, does anyone know if getting off birthd control after my last period would affect that? Like it wouldn't be that I'm pregnant cuz i haven't had sex since i got off, but i was just wondering becuase i always hate when its late. (link)
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Yes this is perfectly normal. The Pill helps to regulate your periods so if you had irregular periods before you started taking the Pill, chances are your body will carry on in the same way now you're off it again.
If it still hasn't arrived around two weeks after it was due, make sure you go and see your GP, just to make sure nothing is wrong. It's unlikely because it will take time for your hormones to settle back down to normal but it's always better to be safe than sorry.
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My mother is having an affair, thing is. If she gets caught by my step-father, he will kick both her and me out. I have two years of school left, and I need to get good grades to get into further study because i dont have much $$. How do i convince her that she's gambling with my entire future? (link)
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This is a very unfair position for you to be in, particularly at such a crucial time in your life when you really need to be focusing on more important things.
Obviously, you can't tell your Stepdad what's going on because that would make matters worse but denying that it is going on means putting far too much pressure on you. She may be your Mother but their relationship should not be your issue to resolve.
The only thing you can really do is to speak to your Mum about it. Wait until your Stepfather is out of the house and talk to your Mum. You haven't said whether or not she is aware you know about the affair but if she doesn't know, you need to tell her. Explain that although there must be something missing from her life to make her go out there and cheat on her husband, the fact that you know she's doing it is putting an unreasonable burden on you because you shouldn't have to lie to your Stepfather on her behalf.
At the end of the day, this is a problem with your Mum and in order for you to be able to carry on as normal, she needs to sort herself out. Tell her that what she's doing is putting a strain on your life and she needs to either stop cheating on your Stepfather or end the marriage because carrying on both relationships at once is going to have a negative impact on you.
This should, in theory, make her stop and think twice about what she's doing and make an effort to sort herself out. If it doesn't, you might want to consider talking to another adult for some more advice, perhaps a different family member (if her Mother is still around this would be a good option. Nobody does telling off quite like a Mother!). A teacher may also be a viable option because if it starts to have a bad impact and your grades do start slipping, they will need to know why.
Most importantly, PLEASE try not to let this affect you too badly. I know it's easier said than done and I can only begin to imagine how you feel right now but you need to be responsible for your future so don't let your Mother's actions rob you of opportunities you could have.
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