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Salvation Of Friends
Ok. I'm a Christian, but I do not know the Bible cover to cover like some people do. I have 3 friends, who I love dearly, but they are just totally lost and I really want to save them but I have no clue as of how to do that. Like.. Ok.. here's their stories.
Billy 16-years-old: He's a terrible alcoholic who parties all the time and sometimes gets high but he is surely damned to hell because he has committed sexual immortality several times. He is one of those people who doesnt care about the Bible or God and makes jokes about religion at times. So I do not know how to talk to the guy.
Jessica 15-years-old: She's like my best friend but she's like never been to church. I've invited her before several times, but she always comes up with a reason not to go. And here lately we've lost friendship & she has lost herself to starting to drink because of peer pressure and she's became sexually active, so to say. And she's similiar to Billy, doesnt care.
Brittany 15-years-old: She's bisexual and she parties like every weekend and gets soo drunk & she cusses all the time but everytime I mention church or something of the sort, she cracks a joke & says something like, "Gosh you're such a goodie-goodie". And even though she's never had sex, she's did other stuff with girls and guys, so. I really want to help her & even though she goes to church often, she doesnt act Christian-like at all.
I really care for these people because they are like 3 of my best friends, but I have no clue has to how to help them. They are sooo young and if they were to die tomorrow or even today, they would go straight to hell & I really want to share my eternity with them in Heaven. So anyone with any advice, please help.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Okay then this one is a bit of a mess but heres what i think
Billy : Billy is a drunk and he needs to be told that he is afterall i know that the truth whilst it may hurt is the best policy, so he makes fun of your chosen religion i think that if you are to stop him doing this show him that people care and his alcoholic behaviour could be triggered to a secret he holds or a problem he has come across or even pressure and relief is alcohol to him...
Jessica:
not many teens will aprove of god but still she has shown that she doesn't want to come to church so what you do is you don't ask her again as for the drink you need to get in touch with Alcoholic Anonymous meetings and see if you can arrange a meeting for her to stop drinking, make her see you care ...
Brittany:
She may not be religious and feel like god has abandoned her so don't force her to be religious she may take the piss sometimes but she does care for you dep down and as for her sexuality thats her choice and maybe she will come around and see what a great friend you are and hopefully so will billy and jessica
wish you all the best
AskSky...
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First I would just like to say that taking advice from an Atheist about being a Christian is probably not in your best interest, so don't let those comments bring you down about your religion. I don't mean to bash Atheists, I'm just saying I don't go up to them and tell them how to be Atheist so they shouldn't give me advice on what to do as a Christian.
Also, just because your friends are drinking doesn't mean they are going to hell. In fact, to my knowledge the only unforgivable sin is suicide, and the only other way you won't get into Heaven is if you don't accept Jesus as your Lord and savior. We have a forgiving God.
I have a bible study with three girls who I have become VERY close to. We have all had this same problem, because none of us are well-versed (no pun intended) with the bible, and we have some friends that we are worried about as well. We want to witness to them, but it is my experience that trying to push your religion on someone really does backfire, as some of these other advice columnists have told you. They don't like it, and it usually only makes them more biased against whatever you are trying to get across to them.
So where do you draw the line? How do you know when you've said or done too much?
What I've decided for now is that I am going to lead by example. I am going to pray for help, I am going to give thanks to God, I am going to let others see how happy God makes me. Believe me, people notice when all of a sudden you are happy and things are seeming to go your way.
If you need more help, I would love to chat with you through e-mail or on AIM. My screen name is BittersweetRain4 and my e-mail is BittersweetRain4@aim.com. Please, I would love to help you with this. I have learned a lot through my bible study and I think I could answer a lot of your questions. And the ones that I can't I can take to my bible study and ask our "mom" (that's what we call our leader) for help.
Hope I've been somewhat helpful. And don't hesitate, I'm only an IM away!
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Your intentions are admirable, but it's best to leave them be. I'm an Atheist & I find that there is NOTHING more annoying than religious people who try to "save" me. Religion is absolutely fine, & if you're interested in living a Christian lifestyle, that's great for you, but don't try to shove it down my throat. If I was afraid of going to hell & wanted to be saved, I'd ask for help. Trying to save them is just going to come off as you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. Let people live their lives the way they want to live it. You wouldn't like it if they tried to "drag you down" with them, would you? I sincerely doubt that, so reverse the situation & apply it there-- you wouldn't want them to influence you, so don't try to influence them.
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I do understand what you're saying and obviously this is something you feel very strongly about. But you have to learn that you can't control everything with religion and you certainly can't control other people.
Your beliefs tell you that their behaviour will condemn them to hell. I know you want what's best for them and the fact you want to help so much is a great thing but you can't expect them to do what you want all the time when they have their own lives to lead too. The Bible tells you to spread the word of God and to lead others away from evil but it doesn't say you can force them to do as you wish.
I hate to say it but you need to let them go ahead and make their mistakes right now. Yes, a lot of what they are doing is wrong and in time they will learn this themselves but trying to stop them doing it will only make them more rebellious. If you really want to help them, try getting them non-spiritual help. If their parents aren't aware that they are drinking and taking drugs (particularly dangerous given their ages) then maybe you could have a word with them and let them know your concerns. However, I would advise you to be extremely careful in doing this as your friends won't thank you for it. Perhaps in time they may realise you helped them but at first it will make things worse.
Give them contact numbers for drug and alcohol abuse helplines. Try to get them interested in doing something else. But don't try to force them to practise your religion. Not only will it be a tiresome and thankless task, they will only put up with being told they're going to hell so many times before begin to resent you for it.
Just make sure you are there for them for now. Let them know that you're there to help them and you want to help them and explain you don't agree with a lot of what they're doing because it goes against everything you believe in. However, you know you can't force them to stop so you want to make sure they know you will be there when they crash from it all.
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ok. like at my church we have outreaches that have like lazer tag or other stuff involved so people are interested in coming. so if yall have something like that i would invite them to that. also hes not damned to hell because hes done some sexual sin. God forgives everyone. its still wrong but all you have to do is believe that jesus died on the christ and rose three days later and kno your a sinner and ur saved. it doesnt matter whether your miss goodie goodie, alcohol addict. do drugs. or murder. you still can go to heaven. i dont know if thats what you meant but :/. ya so with your problem just invite them to a church event that would be fun.
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Okay. Don't try to save your friends. There's nothing people hate more than having something they don't believe in pushed on them. If someone tried to push a religion on me, that would truly piss me off. I used to believe in God, but seriously, do you know how unlikely that is? It took me a while to come to the conclusion, but I know now God is NOT real. And I'm sorry if that offends you, but that's merely my OPINION.
For Billy, don't tell him he's gonna go to hell. He doesn't care. He could care less. Just tell him you're concerned about his health and his state of mind. Tell him that's not the type of life to live, because it could really mess him up, and you don't wanna see him go young.
For Jessica, if she doesn't wanna go to church, stop asking her. If she's making excuses, that has to tell you something. Being sexually active, there's nothing wrong with that. People like to experiment, and it's a personal decision you have to accept, even if you don't like it.
As for Brittany, who cares about her sexuality? I'm bi, and athiest, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. You make think there is, and other people may think there is, but it's her own personal decision, and if she wants to be bisexual, then don't stand in her way.
I can tell they're so sick of hearing about church, and they're so sick of you trying to push your beliefs on them. Don't do it, let them be. They're why they are for a reason. Whether it be parents, peer pessure, emotional feelings, or just a personal decision. You HAVE to accept it. There are some things people hate, but they have to accept it anyways. I hate that some of my friends are ignorant, but I deal. It's just something you have to be tolerant of.
Just, don't try to save them. That's the worst thing you could do. Don't try to help/save someone who doesn't wanna be helped or saved. It's just not right.
I understand you wanna spend all "eternity" with them in "Heaven" but you can't save them if they don't want it. My suggestion to you is to give up on saving them, tell them about your concern for their health & well being, and be tolerant of who they are. Accept their decisions, whether you like them or not.
And, if you don't like this answer, too bad. You asked for advice, and I gave it to you. So you can rate me a one, or you could ban me, but at least think of it from their point of view.
I'm sure you'd hate it if an athiest tried to make you convert. Please don't put them through that same hell.
&TiNA;
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The question is, how are YOU living?
I'm wondering how you gained such friends as these if you condemn their activities like this.
How are you living? Is your lifestyle projecting that of Christ's?
You seem to be an awfully stuck-up Christian. Partying is wrong? Not necessarily. Drunkenness is wrong, immorality is wrong, but partying is not necessarily wrong. Cursing is wrong? Could you procure a verse that states that? Joking about religion is not necessarily wrong. These are all YOUR definitions of sin--search for GOD'S definition of sin.
Also, you are not to judge anyone. God alone is righteous and worthy to judge, so leave it to him.
As for "saving" your friends, you need to live a biblical life. Show them God's unending and unconditional love for them to help them understand their need for a Savior. Be an example.
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You're no friend to them if you push your beliefs on them, your Christianity is probably colouring your understanding of what they are doing and how 'damaging' it is as well. Honestly, their behaviour as teenagers is more 'normal' and arguably more 'healthy' than yours. It is a time for getting out there and having fun, of experimenting and discovering who and what you really are.
If they don't believe, they don't believe, trying to save them is only going to push them away from you and make them write you off as an annoying God Squad member. If you want to be a positive influence on their lives just be a friend and leave God out of it.
As an atheist I have to say there's no evidence whatsoever for there being a God and it disturbs me to see young people not living their one life to the fullest they can, that doesn't necessarily mean being 'immoral' but the Bible isn't the only source of morality.
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Being a Christian is about believing in God and Jesus, not about never sinning. Jesus died to forgive our sins. No one that has ever lived on earth except Jesus has lived a perfect life with no sin. Sure your friends aren't living very moral lives, but they are only teenagers. They could very easily change. Spirituality to them is different than it is to you. You don't know what they really believe. Their behavior is unhealthy. Help them better their behavior, don't force your spirituality on them. You don't go to hell for having sex. You go to hell if you don't believe. No matter what you think you know about them, you can never know if they truly do believe or not. Let them figure it out on their own. They will come to you if they want you to help them spiritually. Right now, just be a good friend and help them with their other struggles. Good luck!
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ok. This is YOUR belief. dont force it on your friends. talk to them about what there doing because its not healthy, not because of religion. It sounds like your friends arent christian and that their choice. not every one believes in god or heaven and hell. Some people have sex before marriage and thats fine, as long as both people are fine with it and safe there is nothing wrong with it. As for drinking yea every weekend isnt a big thing but its their personal choice. "jessica" probaply isnt goin to church with you because she doesnt want to, some people like my self do feel uncomfortable in churches. and people can believe in god and not "act" like it. the best advice i can give you is dont try to bring your friends into your beliefs, they will believe what they want and you should respect that. I am an athesit and i think that there isnothing worse than some one pushing a religion on me. just because you choose to believe in god doesnt mean i hvae to. keep your religion to yourself
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I understand how you feel. It's difficult to look around and see the world falling apart, and wonder if the people you love will gain immortal bodies, or... the alternative.
When you have some spare time, please listen to this audio file by Ray Comfort & Kirk Cameron, which talks about the problems of sharing your faith with others:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If you would rather have it in a zip file, here is that link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
What is said in this file is awesome. I hope it will inspire you and help you with your situation. If you need anything else, email me at DangerWench@gmail.com
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I think that your being Christian doesn't have anything to do with your friends.
It all comes down to the way your friends are deciding to live their lives. And they are taking it down the wrong path and as much as you want to influence them and help, the chances are not likely.
I am a Christian also, but I will admit that I'm not huge on being one. I don't read the Bible like I should, and everything. But, I wouldn't go as far as thinking your friends are going to Hell for these things. What you should do is accept that your friends aren't interested in your great path in life. But, usually when your friends start doing things that are too different than what you do, they probably won't be your friends any longer. They'll make new ones that do the same as they.
When you have friends and you want to help, believing they'll go to Hell isn't being a friend to them. It's having no faith in them. Pray for your friends, don't have disrepectful thoughts about them. Like you said, you really care for these people. All you can really do is watch them fail instead of trying to help. I'm not saying you shouldn't be their friend anymore, just be their when they may need you.
-TheTeenGirl
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PLEASE don't try to "save" them... I'm an atheist, friends with a ton of Christians, and I really find it offensive when somebody with different beliefs from me tries to push their lifestyle on me. Just because somebody doesn't follow your point of view, it doesn't mean that they're not a good person.
In my opinion, if there is a God, then they would be willing to make exceptions, as I know many Christians who are not good people.
As for your first friend, try not to put a religious spin on it. I agree that he needs help, if he is an alcoholic and using drugs... but don't lecture him on how he's going to go to hell for it... try to let him know that you're concerned about his health and well-being.
As for Jessica, I was in the same position with my best friend. She was a hardcore Christian, and I'm an atheist. She kept pushing her church on me, and inviting me to go, and I tried going a few times to make her happy, but I didn't like it. I really hated when she tried to push her religion on me. So if you want to stay friends with her, don't do that, PLEASE. If she's drinking, then let her know it concerns you... Sexual activity, though, is a decision that everyone makes on their own. Just because abstinence until marriage may work for you, it doesn't mean it's right for her. Not to say that I agree with having sex at an early age, but it isn't against everyone's beliefs to do so.
Brittany is not committing a sin in her eyes. Think about it this way: cursing is only cursing if you attach shock value to the word! Discussing any body part below the neck was once considered akin to cursing... it's all a matter of societal values. Bisexuality is not a huge issue. Just because it's against your religion doesn't mean that she should have to follow your norms.
If you want to stay friends with them, and truly help them, try not to make it sound like a threat! I know that if someone were to tell me that I'm going to hell because I'm acting against a religion's guidelines, I wouldn't feel welcome in that religion. If they have an issue, keep the church out of it, and be a friend to them. What they need is a friend, not a missionary.
I only speak from experience, as I HATE when my friends try to "save" me. I hope you don't take this as an attack on your beliefs, as I respect everyone's right to choose their beliefs. I'm just defending your friends' right to choose.
:)
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