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Experienced, alternative, rationalist.
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Occupation: Freelancer
Age: 31
Yahoo: corvinwyng
Member Since: March 16, 2006
Answers: 24
Last Update: April 11, 2006
Visitors: 3429

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My wife and I have been married for 7 years. When I met her she was very reserved and shy acting. Our sex life was good but she never wanted to deviate from normal foreplay and intercourse. I had told her that I had 5 sexual partners before I met her (including an ex wife). She never said anything about her past other than having sex at 17 and then having not dated for 3 years prior to when I met her. After we were married she told my brother at a party that during 1 year at college she had sex with 27 guys and that she was proud of it as she had used them for sex. When he told me I was shocked. I married a slut as far as I was concerned. She is very religious and plays the good Baptist part well. I have told her that I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that she had so many partners in such a short time, the average total partners for a wome of 39 is 7. She has had sex with over 35 total partners. I told her that I need some details about why she had sex with so many guys and the details of what happened. She says it is none of my business, but I now just think about all of these guys fucking my wife every which way. We have not had sex for 4 months now and it is driving me nuts. I just can't get excited about her. I wonder were these guys great at sex, did they have bigs dicks did she do things with them that she will not do with me.
What should I do? Am I wrong to have an open conversation about the details of her sex capades? She also says she does not remember any details, yeah right?
She seems happy to not have sex now. Now that she does not have to work and I earn over $300,000 a year. I ask her how she could fuck all those guys who gave her nothing and not me the guy who has given her everything?

Please help.

Jimbojoe (link)
She's with you now.
Relax and let it go. You WON! You're the one she married.


There is a guy I really like (who also has the slight potential of liking me back). He's very funny and actually very polite and nice. However, he doesn't seem to be a very devout Christian, because he cusses. Even though I cuss sometimes, I feel like he may have a bad influence on me in that way, and I know from Bible study that I'm supposed to surround myself with people who share my beliefs and are going to be a good influence. But there seems to be something wrong with that, because if I cuss now and then, I may be a kind of bad influence on others too, and they wouldn't want to be around ME either. I guess what I'm trying to ask is...would it be okay to continue to flirt with this guy and (if it works out right) date him? Sorry, this was kind of long and confusing... btw, I'm almost 16, if that helps any. (link)
It takes all types to make a world and if you don't expose yourself to other points of view you'll never understand them. You owe it to yourself to learn more about people and the world around you and you don't have to be Christian to be a good person. Go for it, relax and learn!


lately i feel so dull and empty and like i dont matter any more. ive tried to be happy but im just not. ive even gone to a therapist. one of my friends was like i was, and then she got into the porn industry. she said it makes her happy and she makes a lot of money now. i didnt approve but then i started to think about it and im starting to concider trying it out. im scared though so i need some advice if i should or not. and i really want to i just dont know how to start. so if anyone knows how i could get started.. or if youve done it before and what you think. thanks (link)
Porn isn't necessarily the terrible degrading thing the other respondent mentioned. More and more women are in control in porn, they get paid more, they become stars. It is more degrading for the men who buy it and the men who star in it.

They key thing is to keep control yourself, webcam girls and amateurs with their own websites keep the most control but that'll take money to set up.

Regardless, porn or money isn't the key to happiness or to a fulfilling life, its just something to do.


i'm 17, and i like this guy who is 27. usually i like guys who are within my age range.. but i suppose you can't help who you fall for. he's very quiet and seems very lonely.. hes doing law so he spends a lot of time studying and doesn't go out too much. he always jumps at the opportunity to speak to me when we see each other. well, i'm not sure what to do about this. 17 is legal for consent and all where i live (so its not a legality thing) but i guess it does sound kinda bad that hes 10 years older than me. i'm wondering whether i should just try and forget about him or whether i should try for this. i don't really care about age, but he might feel differently, and society always views these kind of things as unacceptable. so just curious what everyone thinks of the age gap, and whether it's worth pursuing or not.....?

thanks. (link)
My fiancee is 10 years younger than me. Age differences mean less as you get older. I don't think it is a problem really by your age.


well these guys at my lunch table where saying something like oh no guy shaves down there.(i don't know how we got on the subject ) all four of the boys agreeded with each other. so are they right? like i thought they did since girls do. but i don't know.
thanxx (link)
I do sometimes. The problem is that men are naturally more hairy and shaving hair makes it grow back thicker quite often. So its a much bigger hassle and also men don't get specially made body hair shavers! That doesn't help!


14/f.. I had sex with my boyfreind about 3 or 4 weeks ago and the condom broke!! I took 3 pregnency tests without my parents knowing and they were all positve!! so i think i'm pregent how could i tell my parents? HELP
I'll rate 5 (link)
Tell them. It's for the best. Or go to your doctor who should give you unbiased advice and stay completely confidential.

Do NOT let _anyone_ pressure you into doing _anything_ you don't want to do. Be that having an abortion or keeping the child.

There are charities that will help with adoption of the resulting child if you want but abortion is not the horror that many fundamentalists will make it out to be.

Remember at all times it is YOUR decision, YOUR conscience, YOUR potential child and therefore YOUR choice.


i have had sexuale feelings for guys for a wile now and i dont know how to deal with them can u tell me i should do? (link)
In this day and age there shouldn't be anything to be ashamed of and admitting it shouldn't be a big deal. Unfortunately, it still is some places. You don't mention your age or where you're from so it's hard to judge what sort of reaction you'll get. Sorry that isn't much help but, just to reassure you, it doesn't mean you're devil spawn or a freak or anything else people might say.


hi, I'm a 17 year old guy. this girl (a bit older than me) across the street mentioned to my brother that she wants to borrow a game, which i happen to own. well i'm done with the game and think this might be an opportunity for me to get to know her better. would it be too weird and too forward if i went over there, and gave the game to her personally? i barely ever see her around the street, but i quite like her and thought i could strike up a conversation with her. so.. would this be too weird and intrusive to go over to her place and give it to her? shes been waiting for me to finish it for a while. just want to know what the done thing is in this kind of situation.

thanks peeps. (link)
Go for it.
You don't know her that well so crashing and burning isn't going to be too harsh, whereas success will still be good :)


After having my virginty taken away without willingness, I just wish I could have it back. That one special thing that I wanted to share with a special person. It feels to me as though no guy will treat me special that they will all treat me like a girl with a body but no soul no self.
Every night every day I sit here every one of my friends everyone around me has a special someone that makes them feel happy.
Im afraid that when and if I find a special someone that I will feel Unsafe and un able to feel special when and if we have sex or even when we are kissing. I feel the same thing with every guy that they just want me for sex and not for ME! What can I do, to make myself feel that they dont want me for just that. Or is that really all they want me for?
How can I tell?
please helppp! =/ (link)
Losing your virginity is a rite of passage. Bonding with someone you love is far, far more. You'll find that special person, them taking your virginity means far less than it did in the past and there's no need to get so hung up over it. The right person will always love you for you.


HERE ARE THE FACTS:
I lived with my companion for over 20 years. The home we shared for most of that time was purchased for $200,000. The market value is approximately $600,000. The balance on the mortgage is about $155,000. During our time together, he paid the mortgage and utilities. He also took care of the yard. I paid for all the food, cooked the meals, cleaned the house, took care of all our animals as well as paid for their food. We had 2 dogs and now have 4 cats. This is what we had agreed upon and it was how we shared the expenses.

Recently, he passed away suddenly from a heart attack. Without my knowledge, he had a living trust prepared in which he gave everything to his 25-year-old daughter. However, his daughter told me that when her father was preparing the trust, at his request, she had promised him that she would “take care of me.” These were her own words. She said that she would get me set-up in my own place and make sure I was secure with my new surroundings. She promised me “on her father’s grave”, that she would carry out her promise to her father. Whether or not a monetary figure was discussed, I do not know.

Two of our closest friends recently disclosed to me that prior to his death, my companion had told them he was going to change the trust to include me. Unfortunately, this was never done.

My companion was worth over a million dollars in savings, assets, and property.

My companion’s brother told me that his daughter was planning to give me $20,000.

My question—is this amount fair?

If not, what would be a fair amount?

I am a 55 year old female.


(link)
No, it is not. Perhaps five times that sum would be. Unfortunately you have no legal recourse to the funds and will, basically, have to settle for what the daughter will give you.


Ok. I'm a Christian, but I do not know the Bible cover to cover like some people do. I have 3 friends, who I love dearly, but they are just totally lost and I really want to save them but I have no clue as of how to do that. Like.. Ok.. here's their stories.

Billy 16-years-old: He's a terrible alcoholic who parties all the time and sometimes gets high but he is surely damned to hell because he has committed sexual immortality several times. He is one of those people who doesnt care about the Bible or God and makes jokes about religion at times. So I do not know how to talk to the guy.

Jessica 15-years-old: She's like my best friend but she's like never been to church. I've invited her before several times, but she always comes up with a reason not to go. And here lately we've lost friendship & she has lost herself to starting to drink because of peer pressure and she's became sexually active, so to say. And she's similiar to Billy, doesnt care.

Brittany 15-years-old: She's bisexual and she parties like every weekend and gets soo drunk & she cusses all the time but everytime I mention church or something of the sort, she cracks a joke & says something like, "Gosh you're such a goodie-goodie". And even though she's never had sex, she's did other stuff with girls and guys, so. I really want to help her & even though she goes to church often, she doesnt act Christian-like at all.

I really care for these people because they are like 3 of my best friends, but I have no clue has to how to help them. They are sooo young and if they were to die tomorrow or even today, they would go straight to hell & I really want to share my eternity with them in Heaven. So anyone with any advice, please help. (link)
You're no friend to them if you push your beliefs on them, your Christianity is probably colouring your understanding of what they are doing and how 'damaging' it is as well. Honestly, their behaviour as teenagers is more 'normal' and arguably more 'healthy' than yours. It is a time for getting out there and having fun, of experimenting and discovering who and what you really are.

If they don't believe, they don't believe, trying to save them is only going to push them away from you and make them write you off as an annoying God Squad member. If you want to be a positive influence on their lives just be a friend and leave God out of it.

As an atheist I have to say there's no evidence whatsoever for there being a God and it disturbs me to see young people not living their one life to the fullest they can, that doesn't necessarily mean being 'immoral' but the Bible isn't the only source of morality.


I am glad these kids have a place to go where they may get some logical advice about sex (and some bad advice too which is sad)

I am just wondering how many of you "adults" think that too many are having sex too early? To me, they know very little about the consequences--most questions are asked after the fact. Perhaps this shows that sex education is not done early enough and it is not effective enough. What do you think? (link)
I first had sex at 15, I know people who have done so as young as 12 with no ill effects for their long-term future and adult lives.

It is a matter of maturity (physical and mental) not age. I don't think it matters IF people get good sex education and have access to contraception.

What bothers me isn't that kids are having sex young, it's that they're so pig ignorant on AIDS and other STDs as well as even the basic 'mechanics' of sex. That's where the danger lies.


I'm writing my friend a letter about why she should not smoke weed. She wants to try it because her best friend at another school got high. What should my letter say?
NOTE: I want to avoid the following things...
1. Sounding like a parent
2. Sounding like a Hallmark card
3. iF YoU TyPE LyKe ThIs then don't answer my question or give me advice
4. I want to make her THINK sincerely

(link)
The best thing to do is to give straightforward and unbiased information, rather than to warn her off.

Cannabis is relatively harmless as far as drugs go, safer than alcohol or nicotine in many ways. It _can_ touch off or make worse existing mental conditions such as schitzophrenia or depression but this is extremely rare.

Heavy use will make you lethargic and disinterested and the active chemicals can build up in your body fat being slowly released and making you lethargic and slightly high over long periods.

It isn't physically addictive but the socialisation involved can be psychologically addictive, in order to get it you may have to mix with people who use other drugs and who are interested in putting you on them.

Smoking it is the worst way to take it as it can damage your lungs and, depending how it is preserved if you go for hardpress rather than weed, can have a higher chance of causing cancer. Many smokers mix it with tobacco which while providing a smoother smoke gets you addicted to nicotine.

If she MUST take it, eating it in cakes or smoking it through a water pipe, pure, is the least damaging way to do so.


I'm doing a reflection for religion. The quote is:
"Forgive them father for they not know what they do." i need to write a reflection on that quote and also explain why Jesus said it. i could do it myself except im too dam busy. has to be like half a page long. so i really hope someone will help me and its due tommorrow and its already like 4 o clock in my time zone.

thx i'll rate 5s!!! (link)
Try breaking down something like this into subheadings and then writing a short amount on each.

* Analyse the quote itself.
* 'Father' as God.
* Forgiveness, forgive who for what?
* 'Know not what they do' What are they doing, why don't they know it?
* Then analyse the meaning of the whole as you have revealed it, if you still need more.


ok so im f/17 ive never had sex before but ive become ill.weak,cough,flem ect and im scared because my friend keeps talking about aids and im scared.Ive been to the hospital as i felt ill can they tell if i have it from checking me over?or from an x-ray?also my vagina feels weird i can't explain.The doctor asked me if i have discharge my mum was sitting there and i was scared to say yes.I get white stuff is it normal?Im really scared someone help me please and an ocassional liquid.They asked when my last period was i said 2 weeks ago but i think it was last month!!!!!hurry with answers please also im waiting for the blood test results and urine. (link)
As the other answer told you, there's really nothing to worry about. It is however shocking that in this day and age people are still panicking about AIDs and not knowing what it is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AIDS

Here's a good article to put your mind at rest.


Hey. I've been a veggietarian for nine months now, and I've changed so much. I am so malnurished and I'm having like a million mental break downs. I've become really sad and angry. I wanted to stop being a veggie but its so hard! I wont eat meat or i'll start like crying...well not really but ill feel really sad and become moody. im also really malnaurished cause im allergic to a lot and cause im kosher. i need advise from a veggie or someone who once was one. thanx to anyone who can help! by the way...incase you wanna like address me in ur note back my names joey f/! thanx!!

xox (link)
Any sudden change in diet will cause a shock to the system and, in the case of malnourishment, the lacks in your diet may not show for some time.

The human species is omnivorous. Feel in the front of your mouth and you'll find 'bladed' cutting teeth designed for slicing and stripping flesh. Feel at the back and you'll find flat, grinding teeth, used for chewing up fibres and tougher vegetation.

As a species we owe much of our success, and our intelligence, to our omnivorous nature and we've evolved to live on both plants and animals. Our bodies run best, work best, when they're fed what they need.

A vegetarian diet is possible but it requires a lot of discipline and may cause long term damage in very young children as they will miss fats and proteins from meat needed to lay down their nervous system.

With your other dietary restrictions - allergies and kosher - keeping to a veggie diet is going to be that much harder and require even more discipline. It's up to you really to find ways you can eat and get what you need or to go back to eating meat again. Otherwise, dietary supplements are the way to go.


This guy that I've been friends with for a while sent me an email after I wrote him (being on holidays) that I had cut 8 inches off my hair. This is what he wrote to me.
"Wow, so you really cut your hair that short? I can hardly wait to see your new look. Now you can show off you SEXY neck".
When I got back from my holiday and he saw my new hairstyle; he couldnt take his eyes off me. He said I looked really good; and then he walked up to me and started rubbing my big toe ( I was wearing sandals). Then he said I had really nice toes; and that most womans toes were not as cute as mine.
So what do you think? Do you think he likes me as more than a friend or am I reading way too much into this? (link)
He likes you.
He also may have a foot fetish.
Run!


Hi, recently an extremely attractive guy moved in next door to me. I didn't see much of him as he is relatively quiet. He speaks to my mum sometimes and they even lend books to each other, but I've never gone pass saying "Hi"
Thing is, I can't stop thinking about him. Like constantly. He's 27 and I'm 17 and I know with that age difference we could never be, at least not right now. I've even started looking through my windows snooping at his house hoping I can catch a glimpse of him. I'm starting to think I'm getting a bit stalkerish but I don't know how to stop myself. I don't even know this guy. Does this seem like a harmless crush, or is it getting too far? Should I get over him? If so, what's the best way to do it?

Thanks advicenators.
(link)
Age isn't necessarily a problem, my fiancee is ten years younger than me and, after some rocky patches in the past, we're fine.

Depending where you are you being 17 might be a problem though, age of consent and people's perception of what is and isn't right being different in different countries.

First step, regardless, is talk to him. He might turn out to be a strange or boring person in which case you'll get weaned off the crush or you might find out he can be more than just a stalking fantasy to you.

He reads? Find out what he reads, that can tell you a lot about someone.


Okay ...I had have 2 blood infusion before.
my question is does my DNA change by getting blood from someone else ?

It may be a stupid question but I have be wondering?? (link)
No.

Red blood cells are replicated in the bone marrow and spleen IIRC by specialist cells. Your blood will be replenished with your own blood and DNA fairly swiftly.


13/f

i was recently raped and im scared. the guy who raped me..was my bedt friends boyfriend (shes 14 hes 15 turning 16) and im scared. i have nightmares about it and im afraid to go to sleep..i keep getting calls that have perverted breathing for like 15 seconds then he hangs up i havent told anyone..and im SCARED!! he threatend to kill me and my family..what should i do?? (link)
He's 15, he can't really do that much. However any proof you've been raped, specifically by him, is now long gone and really you should have gone to the authorities straight away.

That's still what you need to do, but you need to catch him out phoning or making threats so he can actually be prosecuted. You definately need to talk to your doctor though, probably them first rather than your parents. A Doc is sworn to keep things between you and them.




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