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disapearing sentuality (sp?)
After having my virginty taken away without willingness, I just wish I could have it back. That one special thing that I wanted to share with a special person. It feels to me as though no guy will treat me special that they will all treat me like a girl with a body but no soul no self.
Every night every day I sit here every one of my friends everyone around me has a special someone that makes them feel happy.
Im afraid that when and if I find a special someone that I will feel Unsafe and un able to feel special when and if we have sex or even when we are kissing. I feel the same thing with every guy that they just want me for sex and not for ME! What can I do, to make myself feel that they dont want me for just that. Or is that really all they want me for?
How can I tell?
please helppp! =/
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hi,
bless, don't put such a big thing on the first being the most special. sounds like something bad happened to you but dont let it get in the way. For most people the first isn't usually the best, it's mistake or an awkward fumble in the dark. Forget that, move on, you sound special, thoughtful and sensitive. if a guy doesn't notice that then, well, not good enough! Just remember, your in charge of your body. Only do what you want to do, be honest with them.
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Losing your virginity is a rite of passage. Bonding with someone you love is far, far more. You'll find that special person, them taking your virginity means far less than it did in the past and there's no need to get so hung up over it. The right person will always love you for you.
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I'm so sorry that you were raped. I know how devastating that can be.
There's virginity of the body, and there's virginity of the mind (or heart, if you'd rather). You lost the first, but you haven't lost the second, because that's a matter of love.
Because you've been badly hurt, it would be a VERY good idea to talk to a rape counselor. It doesn't matter if it happened last week, or years ago; you still feel the pain, and the fear, and the shame. So you still need to talk to someone who knows how to help you heal.
Here's the number of the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1(800)656-HOPE. They're open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They're confidential and free. They will NOT make you talk to the police or do anything else that you don't want to do.
Even if you feel that what happened to you wasn't rape - and it's hard to define losing your virginity against your will as anything else - it's clear that you had a traumatic experience. You need help to deal with that.
A professional counselor will be able to help you find a way to feel special again, so that when you meet the right boy, you'll be able to know and feel in your heart that he loves ALL of you, not just your body.
I wish you a quick recovery and a wonderful REAL "first time". Good luck!
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there's really nothing you can do now. that's in the past. spending your days worrying about it and being depressed by it isn't going to help anything. believe it or not, not EVERY guy just wants sex. and if it makes you feel any better most of the guys have probably done something like you did. even though they won't be your first doesn't mean it can't still be special, you just have to make it that way. plus whats wrong with being a little expierenced? nothing!
♥ evy
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