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A Christian who likes boys that aren't...
There is a guy I really like (who also has the slight potential of liking me back). He's very funny and actually very polite and nice. However, he doesn't seem to be a very devout Christian, because he cusses. Even though I cuss sometimes, I feel like he may have a bad influence on me in that way, and I know from Bible study that I'm supposed to surround myself with people who share my beliefs and are going to be a good influence. But there seems to be something wrong with that, because if I cuss now and then, I may be a kind of bad influence on others too, and they wouldn't want to be around ME either. I guess what I'm trying to ask is...would it be okay to continue to flirt with this guy and (if it works out right) date him? Sorry, this was kind of long and confusing... btw, I'm almost 16, if that helps any.
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
religion should not matter in relationships.
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The Bible says not to be unequally yoked (involved like dating or w/e) This means not to marry the unsaved if you're saved. If he's not saved (I can't remember if you said he was or wasnt) then don't date him. You can however invite him to church and witness to him. If he is saved but cusses alot and stuff then just still invite him to church to get him on the right track. Speak your mind. Tell him you don't like how he cusses and if he has a problem with respecting that then hey there is someone especially created by God for you that will make you happy.
sorry if this is a complet pile of confusing mess :'(
God Bless
~aeromonkey
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everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and slips up.
it doesnt necessarily mean he isn't a Christian.
However, if he's <b> not </b> a Christian, then, yes, it says in the Bible to not associate yourself with non believers (that goes for relationships too.)Hope that helped!
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ok either you like him or you dont. If you dont , dont lead him on. If you do does the fact that he "cuses" or isnt a "devout chrsitain" really that much of an issue? if your goin to like aperson like them for who they are, be open to beng with people of other religions or ways of thinking. In the end it helps make yourself a better person. Religion isnt everything, and it shouldnt be a factor of who you do and dont hang out with.
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Honestly? Don't even bother spending your time flirting & getting to know him if you're going to keep yourself from getting close to him because he's not a "devout Christian". I don't mean to bash your religion, but that's just ridiculous. Either like him 100% as a person, or don't. Don't waste his time with that "well, we can talk, but we can't be close" crap.
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Cursing doesn't make you a bad person. Heck, we all do it. But if he likes you, and you like him, try to get him to tone it down a bit.
A great way of doing this is to challenge him not to cuss. Mark down every time he does, and playfully wave it in his face. He'll get better at not doing it, and eventually, he'll just stop.
Any way, if that is the only issue, go for it.
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"I know from Bible study that I'm supposed to surround myself with people who share my beliefs and are going to be a good influence."
Let me start off by saying that I simply cannot agree with this statement at all. Only associating yourself with people exactly like you makes you close-minded, and people with different beliefs will be shut out by you. There will be a lot of people you will refuse to get to know, and I would certainly be offended if I was pushed away by someone just because I didn't think they way they did. How would you feel if someone was your friend, and then broke all contact once they found out you were Christian? That would be what you would be doing, if you stop associating with this guy. Not only that, but you'll never have the option of questioning your beliefs, or learning about others. This is the best way to appreciate your own beliefs more, and reshape them into what YOU think is correct.
Getting away from that.
If he's a nice guy, then go for it. Don't outcast him for that reason.
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Everybody's different, and it's a good thing to celebrate those differences.
If the cursing bothers you, think of it this way... back in the Victorian times, a lot of everyday words were considered highly inappropriate... and the Pilgrims freely used words that nowadays are considered profanity. It's all a matter of current societal values, so if you don't care what society thinks, it's not a problem :)
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It takes all types to make a world and if you don't expose yourself to other points of view you'll never understand them. You owe it to yourself to learn more about people and the world around you and you don't have to be Christian to be a good person. Go for it, relax and learn!
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Im in the exact same situation. I know i really like this guy, but he cusses listens to music with lots of profanity..and blah blah blah. he doesnt seem devoted and seems like he never wants to be in church, so i found another guy that im able to crush on that doesnt care what other people think of him, and is a great influence. i hope this works out for you. ExOh
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ah, young love... ok, so it's a-little-more-than-a-year-younger-than-me young love, but still... ^_^
all right, i'm not gonna lie. i do swear on occassion. more than once a day usually, but mostly just things like crap and damn and SOB (i'm hardly ever calling anybody that, it's usually just an angry exclaimation when i haven't done my homework ^_^;). and i'm not gonna lie and say that my friends and parents (well, my mom, but she was raised on a farm, heh) don't curse. in fact, they swear more than me, and my profanity level hasn't increased dramatically due to hanging out with them over 4 years (just due to more tests and worrying about college stuff). so as long as you check yourself on your speech every now and again, i'd say you'll be okay. if you start slipping more ****s into your vocabulary and you think it's because you're hanging out with this guy, then just practice more control what comes out of your mouth. but i think you will be ok.
as for him not seeming like a "very devout christian", is cussing the only thing that makes him seem that way to you? or does he make a lot of obscene gestures at grade school girls and then go mug prostitutes and use their earnings to go illegaly buy liquer, and then say that his master beelzebub made him do it?? heh, i kinda doubt that he's THAT bad. ^_^ you're afraid he might have a bad influence on you? well, have you thought about how you might be a good influence on him?
basically, if you like him, and he likes you, he doesn't ask you to join his get-child-sacrifice-legalised group, and if it's fairly safe to say that he won't get you in jail (or himself for that matter :P ), then go ahead and flirt and hang out and, if you should so desire, go out.
no worries about your question being too long. i've seen much longer, and usually the problem is people being too short with their questions. ^_^ sorry about some of my crazy examples, i was a little graphic, please forgive da kitty...
hope this helped. good luck!
~*kitty*~
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So I'm a christian too, and I think you shouldent date him unless both of you could encourage eachother in your walks with God. Maybe if you both promise to become better christians (by not cussing, reading your bible everyday, etc.) and hold eachother accountable, that could work. You guys can grow together, but other than that....I don't think a relationship like that could work. Well it could, for a while, but God has ways of punishing us for not listening to him.
In the end, you'll just be heartbroken.
I hope I helped!
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I'm also christian. My fathers more on the religiouse side then my mom and he would always talk about this stuff to me. I had a boyfriend who wasn't chrstian at all and swears all the time. I told my dad about it and he said if I like him to go for it. My dad just got remarried to someone who isn't even a christian. So I'm pretty sure it wouldnt matter if you went out with him.
♥_Sheridan
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I think that you should follow your heart. if you think that you like him a lot then continue to try to be with him. we all have our bad habits once in awhile. the bible also says god wants us to be happy. so if you are happy with him i don't see it as to much as a bad thing. just don't pick up his cussing habits tho. hope i helped <3
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