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ex and new boyfriends
me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago. and i just got a new boyfriend a few days ago and i like him a lot. but my ex boyfriend called me lastnight and told me how much he wanted me back and missed me and i just dont know what to do. he treated me bad but i still love him and care about him and dont know if i should be with my current boyfriend. being held by him just doesnt feel the same but i know if i go back to my old boyfriend that nothing will change. can somebody please lemme know what to do?
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The problem with guys who treat us bad is that for some reason we find them strangely alluring. I don't know why this is but it seems to be some masochistic desire.
What you need to do is let your better judgement take over here. Remember back to the way he treated you. You know you don't want to have to go through that again so you know that you can't get back with him, no matter how you feel about him. Sometimes, love just isn't enough. You need to look after yourself first and realise that although you love him, this isn't the sort of love that is good for you. Be strong enough to say no to him.
As for your current boyfriend, if you know in your heart of hearts that it just can't work out, without comparing him to anyone else then it might be better if you weren't with him. It's also never a good idea to be with a guy if you're not yet over an ex because your heart needs time to recover before it can truly let other people in again. So if you're not over this 'bad boy' you were with, you owe it to yourself to take the time to get over it before you try to let anyone else in.
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if he treated you bad once, more than likey it's gonna happen again. but then again it might not. we cant tell you what you should do cus we don't really know how YOU feel. you should just follow your heart.try testing yourself. when you think about the word love, who's the first person you think about..when you're scared, who would you rather be with..etc. it may sounds stupid but it actually helps. good luck hun
♥ evy
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try telling him that if things dont change that you cant go back out with him but if he is willing to help make it better then you will. the whole thing is that if you stay with anyone long enough youll get that feeling when they hold you. you can create love and you can earn love. you never really start out with love you can start out with liking someone but once youve been dating them awhile and getting to know who they are when no ones there and you&them open up completely and let them see the real you you get really attached to them and thats what we call love. if you really love your Ex then it sounds like you put in some time with him so talk to him about it tell him how you feel and you could have love with this new guy if you want to stick it out and earn it. so you have a choice your old love and what comes along with it i say go with him if you think you can change him but if you dont think you can just stick it out with this other guy and earn the love. :) hope i helped.
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Sounds like things with your ex-boyfriend aren’t going as planed since he dumped you.
Consider the following things:
1) What are the chances your ex will just dump you again and/or treat you badly again?
2) If you like you new boyfriend “a lot” than why would you think about going back to your old boyfriend?
3) You don’t know if you should be with your current boyfriend, so what makes you think you should go back to your old one that dumped you?
3b) “being held by him just doesn’t feel the same”, which could be, because he’s not the same guy right? Also, does that mean it doesn’t feel good when your current boyfriend holds you?
4) How do you think your current boyfriend feels about all this?
(Even if he really likes you, he probably won’t stay around if you’re even just thinking about going back to your ex-boyfriend.)
5) Maybe your current boyfriend isn’t right for you and instead of looking for someone new, you’re being lazy and too easily tempted to go back to someone familiar.
6) “i like him a lot”, versus, “i still love him”, sounds like you’ve already made your choice, you ‘like’ the new guy, but ‘love’ the old guy.
7) The more time you sit around trying to decide the more likely you will lose both of them.
8) Either accepts that your ex is part of your past, or that your current boyfriend is not part of your future.
9) Ask your friends who know your ex and/or remember how you felt when you were with him. (Sometimes our minds play tricks on us and we remember being happier than we were.)
10) Seriously ask your ex-boyfriend what made him stop loving /missing you when he dumped you and think about the chances of that happening again.
11) Do NOT cheat on your current boyfriend with your ex!
(If you want to go back to your ex then so be it, but don’t play head games with your current boyfriend. You can’t have them both.)
11b) If you stay with your current boyfriend, it should be because you love him and not just because you fear that you will be dumped again by your ex-boyfriend.
Hope you make a decision soon, for your sake and theirs.
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given your situation...
i suggest you should just decide... this is one of those hard descisions coz your feelings are the one on the line...
who do you really love?!
your current boyfriend:
you really love him and and he really loves you... so, what's the big deal?!
your ex-boyfriend:
he wants you back, but is he sincere?! remember the things he has done to you before?!
decide... talk to your current boyfriend about this, after all, relationships like these are made for helping each other... as your current boyfriend on how to deal with it... i am sure he will answer "talk to him" if he really cares and loves you... when you talk to you ex-boyfriend... tell him exactly what you feel... confront him and ask him if he is really sincere...
if so... then i give you the right to decide between the 2...
-BiAnCa-
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hey! well, you deffinitely DO NOT want to get back with your ex... trust me, I was in a LONG on-again, off-again relationship, and every time we got back together we thought things would be different... but of course, they WERE different for a week, and then everything went back to normal! it's not something you want to deal with, it's terrible! ignore your ex... avoid him... it's the best way to completely get over him! and if you are still having doubts about your current bf within a month or two, break up with him and take your time being single! do NOT settle for a guy who isn't exactly what you want and doesn't make you happy! that's what life is all about! good luck... don't worry all will be better sooner than u think! :)
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Hey Hun
wel if he dmped u once h will do it again cause relationsps dont last use are married different story but like is aid realstion ships dont llast he will dump you again nd just thin you already ahd a chance with him so ont worythat it ended mile cause it happened you need to move on you need to see what other people are like well i hoe i helpd take care mwa
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I think what you need to do is ditch them both.
I think you moved out of a bad relationship and jumped in a new one too fast. You know for sure that nothing will change, and thats good that you know. All you need to do is stay away from him and soon you'll realize that you will heal from all of this.
You need time to relax by yourself or be with a friend. A girl's night out, no guys to worry about. You have to take everything slow to heal from this relationship. And you made a very common mistake by getting a new boyfriend. You probably thought that you'd get over your ex faster or forget about him. And it's ok to try it, but the important thing is that you realize that it's not getting any better.
I know when he calls you feel tempted to just take him back, but you have to remember that you'll be in the same episode as you are now later on. Let this current guy know that you aren't ready to start dating again. Seek support and advice from your friends as well to help you.
-TheTeenGirl
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I don't think that you should get back together with your ex...
I think you should give your current boyfriend and you some time....and you need to let your ex go..
I mean if he treated you badly you do not need to go back to that...
So stay with your current boyfriend, and forget about your ex...and just allow your boyfriend to be the only guy you have feelings for, and that feeling will come..
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