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torn in two
Hey all im a frequent user on this site and i ussually am the one giving advice. But now im on the other end of the receiver. I need your guys help. There is this guy who is one of my best friends his name is lowell and there is my fiancee named andrew well i used to have a thing going on with lowell and me and him started going out but its just a lust thing and he knew it. Well hes starting to love me and lowell is liek a little kid, he throws a fit about everything i knew it was wrong and i still love my fiancee i want to tell lowell ya know what i love you but i love andrew more and its over but i want to be friends. I have told lowell before but he wont listen to me he takes it as im cheating on him with andrew but its the other way around. I need your help its an awful thing that i did but i cant help it. Help me please!
~*~ Short N Punky ~*~
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This is a really tricky one. My general feeling is that if you truly do love someone, you would never cheat on them because you don't need to.
However, you say you love both of them and you really need to sort this situation out. First of all, you need to speak to Lowell and explain that although you care about him, your fiancee means more to you and you really want your relationship with him to work out. Tell him that although you have had fun, you just can't see him any more.
In my personal opinion, I think you should tell Andrew. Obviously I know you won't want to do this because it could have huge consequences you don't want to face but the fact is that you have cheated on your future husband before you even got married. Other than the fact relationships (especially marriages) HAVE to be built on trust, you need to think about the fact you will be married to this guy for the rest of your life and you are meant to be solely with him. Are you sure you want to be with him forever?
I don't want it to sound as though I am discouraging you from getting married. I do, however, want to stress to you that you are basing a lifelong commitment on a relationship in which you have already cheated on the man. If you are atracted elsewhere then, though you love him, maybe he isn't the one for you? I'm sorry, but I had to say it.
Whatever you decide, you need to make sure that you have as little to do with Lowell in the future.
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If you want the relationship with Andrew to last, and you have those kind of feelings for Lowell...you have to stay away from Lowell.
I mean clear away. If you can't stay away from him then you need to break it off with Andrew. It could be you won't be able to remain friends at all with Lowell. His next step will probably be to tell Andrew everything.
Don't tell Lowell that you love him. It is just encouraging him and giving him hope that isn't there.
You have a decision to make. Which one do you really want. Once you do that, the other is going to have to go.
Good luck.
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