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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
If you lost your nineteen son twelve years ago in a terrible car accident and if some mysterious person kept leaving you gift at you house and leaving him flowers at the cemetery, would you want to know who it was?
Imagine living with the fear that someday everyone was going to forget your son. Then years after his death, out of nowhere, you come home the day before his birthday to find on your doorstep a basket full of candy and cookies with a bouquet of roses resting on top. There was a letter in the basket from some sweet young lady who wrote about how much she liked Reid (your son) and about some of the nice things he did for her.
The next year, the same young lady left you a plate of delicious homemade cookies and another letter. She also frequently leaves flowers at Reid's grave on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. She continuously does nice things for you, your family, and Reid on these difficult and painful days.
For some reason, she seems to want to remain anonymous. She won't let you know who she is and she apparently never wants to be seen doing these kind gestures. She left the basket of goodies and the bouquet of roses the day BEFORE Reid's birthday supposedly because his birthday was a Saturday that year and she figured you could be home that day, but knew you wouldn't be home during the day obituary Friday. She did the same thing this year because his birthday was on Saturday again. When she comes in the daytime, it's always when she figures you're not home. I don't know why she wants to do these things anonymously, but she does.
Would you want to know who she was? Would you want to find out so you could let her know how much you appreciate it and how much it means to you? Would you try to find her or respect her wishes to remain anonymous? If you would try to get in touch with her, how would you do so? You thought putting something in the newspaper or on the local radio station asking her to come forward so your family could thank her might be a good idea, but then you'd be advertising it to the whole town and possibly causing the whole town to look for her. You don't want to do that because you don't want to make her feel like you invaded her privacy.
What would you do?
I understand how you feel and you for whatever her reasons are must understand she does this for whatever her reasons are. She is letting you know that your son meant something to her and made a difference in her life and that he is missed not only by you and your family.
She has her reasons for wanting to remain anonymous and you should allow her to do so. If you want to thank her what I would do knowing when she does this I would leave and envelope on the door step THAT MORNING marked "THAN YOU." In side in a card or letter you could writ how appreciative of her gesture you and your family are and if she ever wants to meet you that you and your family would love to meet her. Then it is up to her to pick up the envelope and respond if she wishes.
Hi there I would like to know if anything will happen if I take the Saturday and Sunday red pills in the new pack since my previous pack were triphasil.
This is a question better asked of your Doctor or pharmacist. We are neither and cannot give you that type of answer.
This guy and I just started seeing each other like a week ago and last Saturday night he spent the night with me. We were at a mutual friends house and we slept on the couch together. It was great, I love feeling close to him after all the pain I've been put through in the past and I feel like I could trust him. But cuddling and kissing on the couch escalated quickly. With every touch it was like he waa asking permission. He knows what I've been through and I believe he is trying to make me comfortable with him? But it was all really fast at the same time. One minute I'm Laying beside him cuddling and the next I'm on top of him and he is kissing my neck and I know he wasn't trying to but he scared me. I made him stop and asked him if we could take a breather. He seemed fine, if not slightly disappointed. when he brought me home he texted me when he got back and kept apologizing and saying he didn't want to hurt me and that he wasn't sure anymore.... I'm so confused and I dont know what I did wrong
First of all you did nothing wrong. Your body is your body and you decide how far you want to go sexually with anyone. Fortunately he was a good guy and when you called stop he stopped, that is a plus in his favor.You really have nothing to be confused over. Things went too far you became uncomfortable, you called a stop; this is your right.
I would interpret the line; "he got back and kept apologizing and saying he didn't want to hurt me and that he wasn't sure anymore." As for him; he may be confused as to whether or not he hurt a budding relationship with you and if so he is apologizing.
From what you have written it does not sound like he hurt whatever budding relationship was starting. I would suggest you text or call him, calling would be better, and discuss this with him. If you are not hurt by what happened tell him so. If you would like to see him again then tell him so ,if not then tell him that too.
You say you were hurt, I understand that. If you want this relationship to succeed then tell him what you need and how you would like to proceed to get over this hurt. Everyone needs time to heal and if the hurt is what I think it is you need time to trust again.
If he understands all this then you may have a keeper but you have to have a discussion with him so he knows where you are. In any successful relationship you have to be able to communicate be it a love relationship or business one.
I have been married 46 years. You don't stay married this long unless you can communicate to each other. I hope I have helped you.
So the other day my 15 year old was on facebook and told us she was getting messages from this who is 18 who lives in California and we live in Georgia. My mom is raising her but my niece told us that this guy told her that if she didn't perform for him he would edit photos of her onto a naked body and post them on the internet. We went to the police and they said since he didn't do it he didn't commit a crime. I always thought this was illegal. Is there anything my mom and I can do about this legally?
The law and technology do not always stay together which is the problem you face at the moment. The police only know current law. I suggest making to three more phone calls.
1. Call your local prosecutor's office. This is sexual harassment and a form of blackmail by my interpretation of what you have written. If a prosecutor agrees they may be willing to do something for you or they will recommend you go to the State attorney General with this since it is an Interstate situation.
2. Call your local FBI Office. Because the threat is over the internet certain interstate threat by wire charges may apply.
3. Call the state Attorney General's Office in California. Ask them if there is anything they can do. California has some laws that other states do not have and they may apply.
Above all do not comply with this guys request. He may know that charges against him for his harassment may be hard to bring. Charges for child pornography, receiving or distributing are much easier to bring. If he was to put your face on another body he could be in violation of state and federal child pornography laws. Both of which are much easier to bring against him. If he is aware of this then this could be just an idle threat but do not take it that way.
Be vigilant and check the internet daily. IF you find picture contact the FBI and local police immediately.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope the suggestions I have made are helpful.
My friend is 63 years old and was experiencing noticeable fatigue besides his age. His doctor said he has a 70% blockage in his neck. His doctor prescribed statin and told him to come back in 6 months. 70% blockage seems dangerous. Does he need surgery to clear his neck vein. Should he get 2nd opinion?
A second opinion is always a good idea. Clearing the blockage would require putting a stent into that vein. Doing so in the neck is not a place the doctors like to go depending on several factors one being how close to the carotid artery the blockage is. This is the artery that supplies blood to the brain. If they nick the artery during surgery the patient could have a stroke or bleed out if the can't control the bleeding.
If you want a second opinion, which is a good idea. I would suggest you consult with a Vascular Surgeon. If you do not know one call you local hospital patient referral line for a referral to one of their doctors. If you have a trauma hospital in your area I would call that hospital for a referral as the best doctors work the trauma area.
I had unprotected sex August 7. I'm on birth control pills on June and July I got my period on the 4th for 3-4 days. In August I got my period on the 2nd it was 3-5 days long. I was feeling nauseous honestly and was so scared. On the 4th of September I started bleeding pinkish not so red blood, it was just spotting, then on the 6 I took 2 pregnancy test, still spotting and it came out negative both times. After the next 3 days my bleeding got a little heavier then that was it. Was my period lighter at first because I was stressed?
If you are on birth control medication the chances of getting pregnant are very slim as the medication is about 98.9% effective. While on birth control medication it is also possible to have lighter or heavier periods and it is also very possible that your August period was lighter due to stress.
You should always practice safe sex unless you are married or in a long term monogamous relationship. For two reasons.
1. Condoms increase the protection against unwanted pregnancy to a statistical chance of 99.9%. Nothing is ever 100% safe so this is as good as it gets.
2. Condoms protect against many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.
Men inherently don't like to use condoms because they dull the senses. Back when I was dating the women had a slogan; "No rubber, no lover." It was good then before AIDS it is even better today.
Short answer to your question. Your on birth control, you had a period and 2 negative home tests. I think you can be assured you are not pregnant.
Hello again ; i'm the girl who asked yesterday's question in generalFWB sex questions( the FWB story); i just wanted to tell that i am in second year of college, and i am coming from a religious society where sex outside marriage is forbidden, which i am also convinced with, then, he used to call me when he wanted men but when i used to call him, he used to refuse and say that i cant have him when i want , it was kind of a one way relationship, ans stuff we did was kind of extreme in m country and religion,then , i want to add that he used to give me fake hopes that we caan make it out,but he was just lying to me, making me feel low like telling me that u are nothing to me, u give me love but i wont give it back to you, , we ended up when the last time i was with him i felt completely no pleasure , maybe cz we wanted more(sex i mean), and when i called him to sort it out and discuss n try again he just refused, ironically, telling me that i just cant bcz i dont want, my real problem is how to move up, and should i totally neglect him, cz i love him, and he charms me easyly with his words, and im sure i dont wanna do it again, what should i do please?
I really appreciate your help and count on it.
Thanks
I stand by the advice I gave you yesterday. I will add that this relationship is well below that which is made in heaven. That being said I can only suggest to you as to what to do. In the end it has to be your decision.
This is not the type of relationship I believe you need to be in. This guy sounds to me what we would call a player. A guy that never commits to any one girl but wants them committed to him for his pleasure when he wants them. This is not a loving relationship.
You don't say where you are from so I am not aware of any custom that says you must marry by a certain age. Those are old fashioned customs anyway in this day and age and a women should be able to search for a man that will love and cherish her. Not a player or an abuser.
You should have several more years of school left before you finish college. You will meet many more boys and men in that time. As my mother would tell you there are many more fish in the sea so bait your hook and go fishing again. I'm suggesting you throw this one back and enjoy the fishing there is no rush to find a husband.
There are many societies that preach sex before marriage is a sin or that the women must be a virgin on her wedding night. Given the number of out of wedlock pregnancies around the world I am left to wonder how many of these societies actually practice what they preach.
I'm not saying you should go against you religion and have sex out of marriage. In fact I admire you for waiting. What I am saying is should you find a time where you want to have sex before you marry, based on statistical information of world data, I would say not to fight yourself over it and go with your feelings as the data indicates many more people are having sex then will admit. Just make sure to practice good birth control. Also make sure this is a guy you think you could make a life with.
Hey! I had my second drive toda with an instructor. I have a hard time turning. He says that I turn to slow and then I turn too fast. And that I should be turning with my right over my left? I started off good and then it got bad.
We've driven around a car park, using indicators, learning to change into 1st and 2nd gears, and practicing u-turns. I almost got into an accident and almost hit the curb a couple of times. My instructor says I'm too stiff on the wheel and he was getting frustrated. I get a little nervous when there's a lot of cars around. I also have to look over my shoulder and in the mirrors while making a lane change.
how can I overcome this? Any tips?
Yes I have two suggestions.
1. Try relaxing a bit and take control of the car. It sounds to me that you are a bit fearful of the car and letting it control you. I know this sounds a bit silly but you need to remember the car only goes where you point it and as fast or slow as you press on the accelerator. You should start driving at a speed you are comfortable with and go faster as you get more comfortable driving.
2. I think your instructor is part of the problem. I'm guessing you have a male instructor. If I'm correct ask for a female instructor. I think as a female you may be more comfortable with a female sitting next to you. There is nothing wrong with asking for a different instructor. You are the customer and you should get what you need to obtain what you are paying for.
How would you feel if your significant other said that your approval means the world to me ?
For example:
your significant other asks your opinion on something
Then you give your honest opinion and say you approve of it
And then your significant other says "thank, your approval means the world to me"
What does it mean when someone says that ? And how would you feel if someone said it to you?
In general terms, not knowing what you approved of, when someone says to me "Your approval means the world to me." I take it that that person values my opinion above all others and my approval of something is a validation of me and my advice.
If someone said that to me and they have. I take it as a compliment that my opinion or advice is valuable to them or pleasing me is important to them.
If someone has said this to you take it in context of what you approved of and take it as a compliment.
my bro is getting married to a hoebag with two kids by two diff men and she gets NO CHILD SUPPORT...her parents are wealthy and they bought her a house and they are paying for the wedding, that alone says this chic is broke...anyway since I don't approve of my bro marrying this user and he also told this user that I don't like her which is something she had already felt from the jump....which is true I cant stand her....I don't like people who use people and are gimmie gimmie chics.....anyway...my bro wont speak to me since I don't like the hoebag and of course he doesn't want me at the wedding since I don't approve, but my dad is making me go....but my bro reiterated to me don't go since you don't approve of it...I think he is making the biggest mistake of his life.....what would you/how would you handle this? thanks
First with the exception of honoring thy parent I don't see how your dad can force you to go. Now anyone can attend the church service even without an invitation. I would think given the information you have supplied you did not receive an invitation to the wedding.
If they are having a church wedding you could attend the Church service without an invitation to the wedding. The wedding invitation while it includes the services is also primarily to celebrate the wedding at the reception afterwards.
If you have not received an invitation then you need to explain to your dad that you cannot attend and why. Explain to him in great detail, without calling her a hoebag, that you disapprove of this marriage and you now ex-friend is well aware of your feelings. He has been very pointed and specific that he does not want you at his wedding. That it would be rude of you to attend without an invitation and you would not want to further ruin his day by causing a problem for him.
Hello, this is very hard for me to write, but I want to know once and for all if there's anything I can do to fix how I feel.
At the beginning of the year I was in an abusive relationship with somebody who sexually and physically abused me as well as stalked me and made death threats against me. I eventually had the courage to end the relationship after 4 months and filed a restraining order against him. I lost jobs over it and even had to move to a new city.
Unfortunately I had a horrible female judge who laughed in my face and said I didn't have any evidence of any of my claims even though I presented her with call logs, voicemails, and hundreds of texts from him with threats in them and admitting to the abuse he inflicted on me. She said none of it was substantial and told me it was my fault for staying with him. The case was then dismissed and I was not allowed to appeal it. His lawyer went on to seal and expunge the record.
It's been months since then and I'm still extremely hurt and angry about it. When I look up his name all I see is positive things about him and I want to expose him for who he really is, but I don't want to get in trouble for slander or anything like that.
Is there any way I can expose him so that people know what they are dealing with without legal ramifications?
This is a question that needs to be answered by a lawyer who needs to look up the original case and see what the judges order states. While you may not be able to file against him you may be able to have criminal charges filed against him and a lawyer will help you get those charges filed.
Note: In the future never go to court without a lawyer. IF you cannot afford one the court will appoint one if you request one. This happened because you were not properly represented which could help a lawyer reopen this case.
One other thing; I cannot tell from your writing if you are seeking closure or revenge. I can understand seeking closure we all need closure to this type of trauma and there are ways of getting closure without the pain you will inflict upon yourself by trying to reopen this case or trying to get criminal charges filed.
if you are seeking revenge do not confuse it with closure. Rarely does revenge bring closure only more hurt for revenge begets revenge and it continues in a circular pattern until one has had enough.
My advice is to speak with a qualified attorney and to follow the attorney's advice. Most attorneys will speak to you without charge to find out about what you need. If there is monetary compensation that can be gained they may be willing to take the case on contingency which means they get a percentage of the award.
Follow the attorney's advice. IF it turns out you cannot get closure through the courts then seek counseling with a qualified psychologist who can help you put this in the proper perspective so you can move on with your life.
I'm so very sorry you have gone through this. Please don't judge all men by that idiot.
Hi everybody.I am 18 years old,and i just got out of a relationship that really sucks.
Well, first we was besfriends, and i just fell in love with him, he's in my class btw, but things seemed normal till one day when he kissed deeply, and moved on it the day after, things became weird between us, saying he was confused but he liked me then, without noticing , i find my self in a friends with benefits relationship, in the beginning he said he wasn,t ready for it andd stuff, but then it turned out that he used to tell me that he cared abt me just to get what he wanted from,me , with no one of my friends knowing, we didn't have sex and i'm still virgin (till marriage), we just kissed,handjob, b_job, fingering...and i'm just feeling disgusted from myself, cz in the end i knew he was using me but i still played the game, it continued for 6 months almost.I just need help to move on it and gain my self-confidence and trust men again , cause it was my first experience and it was really bad, and now i think all men are like that.
More, in the end of the year he started telling our classmates abt it, making me ashamed and sinful in front of myfriends, and treating me as a bitch.
School is 2weeks from now, how should i react with him, or with any of our classmates.
I'm counting on ur help.
THANKS
You have nothing to be ashamed about. Statistically many of your girlfriends lost their virginity long ago and you still have yours. As for a friend with benefits, your was not what fits that definitions.
The definition of a friend with benefits is a friend who either of you can call upon to have sexual intercourse without any other strings. What you had was a person you could count on to cuddle with do some heavy petting and maybe make it to third base as we said when I was your age. No sexual intercourse no benefit.
At age 18 you are an adult even if you are in the last year of High school. You are entitled to enjoy that which all adults enjoy which would include a sex life should you want one. You have done nothing to be ashamed of, nothing that your friends probably haven't done and certainly not sinful. Even in the eyes of the church you have of committed a true sin as carnal knowledge has not happened.
My advice forget about him. If he continues to treat you like a bitch start a rumor he has a small dick. You should know as you are the one that only needed two fingers to jerk him off. As for your other classmates just be your old self you have no reason to act any different than you have always acted with them.
I'm a 17 year old female and my parents never let me out of the house. I'm in university now and a part of being a freshman was the frosh week, I paid my own money to go and because of my parents I only attended 3 out of the 10 days of frosh week, also the days I attended there were parties that started around 8pm and ended at 12am, of course my parents didn't let me go to any of them. My mom made it clear I had to leave campus by 6pm because it wasn't safe to stay on campus at night, yeah I know it's not safe but the parties were patrolled by police officers and to move around the campus at night there's a security program the school has that you can call to escort you to wherever you wanna go. There was another frosh event to go to the beach originally my mom said no because since I can't swim there was no reason for me to be at the beach but I had to beg and plead for her to let me go because I only went to frosh for 2 days, she finally let me go but that was the last day I was ever allowed to go again, now today's the last day and it ends with a boat cruise and my mom said I can't go because it's a boat, like wtf? She's always thinking of the worst case scenario, how am I supposed to survive in the real world when they're always sheltering me? Because of her my sister and I are afraid to walk down our own street by ourselves because right when high school started she would usually walk with us to the bus stop even when I told her to stay home. She expects me to be able to talk to strangers boldly but then keeps me locked in the house, she usually only lets me out the house if I'm hanging out with the friends I've known since elementary school. i wish I lived on residence I would've had more freedom, what can I do to help my mom stop thinking of the worst case scenario? because being sheltered isn't always a good thing
If it's any help I agree with you and I am someone who has raised my family and been through the worries of letting my children leave the nest and try their wings. I will admit to you that as a parent it is scary for the world can be a terrible place. Even though we try to prepare our children they may not be ready to handle everything.
Your mom is definitely being over protective and will continue to be so when you turn 18 and she loses the legal control she now has. I predict that mom will continue to exert her control through financial control such as paying for college.
There is not much you can do now to stop your mother from controlling you. You could call child protective services and report her as an abusive parent which being over protective fits. Though frankly by the time CPS reacts you'll be 18.
What I suggest is a better way to spend the time between now and your 18th birthday is preparing to mute moms influence over you. You could spend the time between now and your 18th birthday finalizing student loans to pay tuition, books and dorm fees. Yes you can live on campus even though you are within commuting distance. Find a good part time job to provide the money you will need for other expenses. Take the financial control from mom and she will not be able to control you as at 18 she loses the legal control she has over you now.
Loading yourself up with student loans is not the best solution though it is a means to an end. For if you don't cut the strings of control that mom has now she will control you for the rest of your life; even when you marry and have a family of your own. I know for I have heard the words. "What do you know about raising a family have you ever done it, I have." You don't want to hear those words. So cut those strings ASAP even if it means taking on student debt it’s not the worst thing in the world, 80& of students graduate with significant student debt.
Good evening everyone,
I am an international student in the U.S., and I have been recently admitted into two master's programs which are the MA in TESOL in American University in Washington, DC, and the MA in Liberal Arts in Georgetown University. However, since I am fascinated by both programs and universities, I have not been able to decide which college I need to attend; therefore, I would like to ask you in order to help me in my dilemma. I need to mention that both programs are going to be held in Washington, DC, and they have nearly the same tuition as well as the expected time to graduate, so my concern is which degree will be beneficial for me, either personally or professionally, in the future.
The MA in TESOL from American University:
Pros:
1. Most universities in my country have not offered this major yet, so it may give me a credit when I return back.
2. There is continuous demand for studying English in my country. For example, in some universities, studying English is required during the foundation year.
3. I personally like to deal and learn English linguistics and grammar, and I often taught my classmates some grammar lessons during my studying English in the U.S.A.
Cons:
1. I assume this degree might minimize my career only in teaching and educational fields.
2. Since English is not my native Language, I am worried that I will not be preferred by some English institutes to teach it, although the vast majority of English teachers in public schools and universities in my home are non-native speakers of English.
The MA in Liberal Studies from Georgetown University:
Pros:
1. The major is unlimited and broad, so it will probably boost my career into several jobs and positions, such as a professor, author, or editor.
2. Georgetown University is a prestigious university, and its reputable name will possibly attract different universities and organization when I return to my country. I know Georgetown University because I have studied English as a foreign language for a year and half int its English center, and it was such as spectacular experience.
3. I enjoy Studying and learning about history, religion, language, literature, and political subjects.
Cons:
1. I have been told by many professors and students that a degree in liberal studies is useless and jobless, and it cannot enhance my job opportunities in the future.
As a result, I hope from you to assist me to decide which degree I am recommended to choose, so I can tell both universities my final decision, which should be sent by Oct, 10. Finally, I truly appreciate your advice, and please accept my sincere apology for this long topic, and any inconvenience this may cause.
Best wishes,
Moataa
I cannot say what a Liberal Arts Degree even with an MA will mean in your home country. What I can tell you is that an MA Degree here in the states is a waste of money. What a Liberal Arts Degree tells me as a Recruiter is you are undecided. That you have little to no background in any work related field. If I hire you you're more of a liability than an asset because it will take longer to train you. If you accept the MA in Liberal arts expect to be offered entry level low paying opportunities.
On the other hand I see many opportunities for the Degree in the MA in TESOL from American University which is a well recognized University. Besides the teaching positions there are many opportunities in business and government this degree will open for you. The world is growing smaller each day.
English and French have been the two common languages for years. In aviation the common language is English. For commerce to continue between countries I foresee TESOL to be a requirement many major companies will need as will government if for no more than interpretation or refinement of what they already know.
My recommendation is to give TESOL a very serious consideration.
Hello, I am a 13 year old girl. My parents are Catholics and so is most my family (and it's not like the non Catholic ones are outside of Christianity-they are methodists, protestants, etc) but I'm Wiccan, and have been for 4 years. Well, actually, ever since I was really little I never fit in with the church and thought other things, I just didn't find a name for it until later. I do as much as I can to practice my faith. But my parents (particularly my mom) want to force me into it! My mother keeps saying "blah blah blah take the good with the bad!" But if I can find a religion (*cough* Wicca *cough*) that (in my opinion) has no bad why should I settle for something else?! And she keeps talking about keeping an "open mind" but I have and that's why I'm Wiccan! My plan is as soon as I'm off on my own I leave the church (I've done research and found out how), join a coven and say bye bye to Catholicism but I just feel so sick thinking about having to be catholic until I'm an adult. I study very hard in school so I can get my own place and support myself as quickly as I can, and leave quicker. What I want to know is, is this legal (I live in New York) and if it is, how else can I get out of this? Absolutely no part of me wants this.
I'm not a Catholic though I believe that in confirmation you are agreeing to accept Christ. If you are not a believer then you should not be going through confirmation regardless of what your parents are trying to force upon you.
What I'm about to suggest is going to be painful as in cause problems between you and your parents. I would suggest that before you accept confirmation you speak with your priest, probably in confession where your parents can't hear and the priest can't say anything back to them. Tell the priest you do not accept the church and that you are a Wiggin.
Remember one thing that until the stroke of your 18th birthday your parents with minor exception can control your every movement and everything about you. This includes seeing to your religious upbringing. What they cannot do is force you to answer in the affirmative when asked to accept Christ. They can make your life miserable if you don't.
The priest will probably tell you to pray for guidance or something to that effect. Tell him you do not want to be guided you know what you want you just don't want to embarrass him or your parents at confirmation by saying no to accepting Christ. Then see what his answer is.
im girl 17, im in 3rd year in high school... i told my classmate(boy) who is also my crush that i like him, in the concrete i gave him a note, saying i like him bc , i felt really relieved after i told him...two days later, i asked him to talk about it bc he didnt give any respond and i wanted to how he feels , during school (we didnt study , we just played games etc), i asked him if we could go and talk somewhere private , he said it is nice that i told him about my feelings for him, he repeated it 5 more times :D :D, he also told me that he know how hard it must´ve been for me to hide my feelings from him... then he said he doesnt have time for relationship bc he has activites besides school (he plays guitar, he dances)...and also he told me he firstly wants to develop more spiritually..(if that makes sense) bc we go to catholic church , ..and then he hugged me saying that we should continue to be friends and he told not to act nervous before him,
i deleted him from my friends on fb during summer holidays bc i was always checking if he is online...now is new school year and he found out i removed him from my friends on fb, and he texted me why i did that, and if he did something wrong he is sorry , i didnt answear, i told him i did it bc it hurts me and that i dont want to be friends, and he said it´s, i thought it would hurt less, but it hurts me more , i just dont know what to do ? i see him every day at school, we dont talk to each other, and it hurts me so much , what should i do ?
A 17 year old boy walking away from a 17 year old young lady who has expressed feelings for him and is not involved with any other young lady is very strange. At 17 he should have a severe case of raging hormones of which a serious relationship with a young lady can satisfy. I don't know this young man and there are other ways to satisfy raging hormones other than with a young lady. Being very spiritual is one way and avoiding temptation is in-line with that.
For right or wrong you have done what you can to cut him out of your life as much as possible. Unfortunately you cannot do so at school. If you are in the same classes you can go to the school administration and ask to be put in a different class though you will need to explain why. IF they accept that being in class with him will hinder your ability to learn and absorb what is being taught they will find another class for you.
From what you have written it appears there is no future for the two of you. My mother would tell you to give yourself a pity party and get over him. That there are plenty of fish in the sea and there is someone out there just waiting to meet you so bait your hook and go fishing.
I'm telling you the same thing. Don't waste your time pining over something or someone you can't have. Honestly your teenage years are too short to waste over someone who can't realize what he is missing by being in a relationship with you.
You have this year and next then it is off to college. Where you will meet a whole new group of friends and your high school friends will become less significant as like you they too will be going off in other directions, maturing and seeing new worlds.
You will meet more boys in college and most likely meet the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. This guy is just a high school romance. Don't waste your time pining over him.
Me - 25/F
Friend - 23/M
This might make me sound very childish and immature. That reasoning is why I am posting this question online, where I can be anonymous. As you can tell, I have a very over-analytical and I over think things all the time.
I have a friend who I know from college. We became friendly while working on a group project together, and we both graduated in May.
Last semester, we were both really busy and none of the same classes together, so we very seldom had a chance to talk to each other.
The two of us were both taking over 20 credits at that point. When we saw each other, we would always make an effort to talk to each other. During the times that I saw him I would make an effort to sit down by him and just talk to him about stuff. I really just loved being around him, it always put a smile on my face.
Around July, he started contacting me again. We had both started recently working new jobs after graduation.
Me as a Business Analyst, him as a Marketing Specialist.
Around then I told him what was going on with my boyfriend of five years, things were not going well for us and I still feel like things are not going well for us. I told him about how upset I was about everything and he suggested that I break up with him, because it sounded like a "bad situation" to him.
The Friday before Labor Day weekend, we started talking again. He invited me to go out drinking with his friends, and I told him that I would love to, but that I do not drive and thus I had no transportation. In order for me to go, I would have to have a ride.
Then on Labor Day, he texted me again. The two of us said Happy Labor Day, and I asked him he was still living with his parents to make conversation. He told me that he was and to come over. At this point, he had a few drinks in him.
Since I was worried about brushing him off, I said something that looking back was really weird and awkward. I said that he was a really nice guy, and that I really wanted to hang out with him, but that I don't have a car. The two of us could do something in my town, if he did not feel comfortable with picking me up. In response, he said nothing to that.
So, I told my best friend what was going on - since I tell him everything. As my best friend/ex boyfriend (not the same guy I was dating in July), he is my rock and I tell him everything in the world. I, also, told him that it was in my head, but I felt like my friend (the guy who I am talking about) wanted to sleep with me, and what I said to him. He agreed with a slightly more innocent version, that my friend wanted to go out with me, but that he was going about it very gently. At that point, he said that my response to him was a weird way to say that you wanted to hang out with someone.
So, the morning after I ask him if we we're cool. My phone told me that he read my message, but he never said anything back. Possibly, because he was busy yesterday, and by the time he wasn't, he forgot about it. Of course, I think that it means that maybe things aren't so cool.
At this point, it might make sense for you to ask me if I am interested in him. A part of me is, he's good looking, intelligent, I enjoy talking to him, and I think that he would pay more attention to me than my boyfriend currently does.
Is it a good point for me to go out with him? No, it's not. First, I am so confused with things with my boyfriend of five years.
We met when I was young. At one point, I wanted to do nothing but spend my future with him. Things have changed. He can't find a job. He'll ignore me for weeks at a time. We haven't seen each other since June. He lives very far away.
Of course, even if I were to end things with my boyfriend, I would probably be on the rebound. That means that my friend would get hurt.
At the same time, though, I just want to make sure that things are okay with us. What should I do? I do still want to be his friend, and possibly date him in the future... just not right now. Am I making a bunch of drama out of nothing?
I think you are both being very timid about dating maybe because you know each other to well and afraid to lose a friendship.
My advice is to ask him if he would like to go out with you. If he would your interested and would say yes to a date with him. That puts the game back in his ball park.
Hi guys, I'm a 22 year old female. For some background, I just left a job that I've worked at for four years to start working at a new place that would help get me experience that I need to find a job in my field of study since I just got my bachelor's degree. I hate change and I thinking switching jobs has been the biggest change I've made yet. I am also sick for about two weeks now. And, I also just finished my period on Sunday (today is Wednesday).
I don't mean to demean what I'm feeling right now but I wanted you to know everything that I've been going through to help out in finding a solution.
I've been pretty sad lately. I have been crying a lot, on the drop of a dime. A lot of the times, I don't even really know why. Sometimes I think it's just stress, sometimes I think I have anxiety, other times I just can't think anything because I cannot stop crying. I have also been tending to exacerbate life a lot lately as well. For instance, I currently work with my brother's ex girlfriend and I was thinking the other day how even though my brother and his ex girlfriend are not currently together, they do have a lot of mutual friends and I wondered how weird it would be for them to see the other person with someone else at a party or just hanging out one day since my brother and his girlfriend have been together for six years. Then I started panicking thinking about if my boyfriend and I ever broke up, how I would handle seeing him out with another girl so I texted him to just to talk to him about it and because he's one of the people that can calm me down when I get like that and he said that thought shouldn't have even crossed my mind since breaking up with me has never crossed his mind in the two years we've been together.
My mom knows it all, how I've been sad lately and how I've been crying way more than usual. She has anxiety, so she is no stranger to it. I can be fine one minute but the second she asks me how I'm doing, I just lose it and cry to her for a long time or I can be crying and stop and be fine but when she asks me if I'm doing okay, I get said again and start crying. She said she noticed that I haven't really been eating as well and that no appetite is a sign of anxiety. She's monitoring me to see how the rest of my week goes but she's been researching lately and she read somewhere that hormones will change every 7 years and I just turned 22 so she's thinking that my hormones are out of balance and it's just really attacking me right now.
Like I said, my mother knows as does my boyfriend and they are both watching me and said we'll talk to someone if it does not get better by next week. I guess I'm just wondering if I could get some answers from people on the outside beforehand and maybe I'll go into this more ready. Thanks for any help.
Being sick and just finishing your period can be part of the problem. What I would like to know is just how long lately means. Is it a couple of days, a week or closer to a month or more. This is important because some of what you have written fit the description of Clinical Depression which can be a hormonal problem.
What I suggest is the following.
1. First see you family doctor for a full physical just to make sure there is nothing organically causing this problem. Ask your doctor to screen you fro depression. IF he diagnoses you with depression go to step 2. Your family doctor can also prescribe something to ease the symptoms of the anxiety.
2. Find a Board Certified Psychiatrist and make an appointment. Clinical depression is primarily caused by a lack of or an insufficient amount of one or two chemicals secreted into the brain. since we are dealing with chemicals of the brain the psychiatrist is the better medical doctor to treat you and a Board Certified Doctor is one who has done a Fellowship in psychiatry making him or her the better one to treat you and to prescribe the proper medication.
3. Your psychiatrist will most likely recommend talk therapy with a psychologist. Most depression has a root cause. I know this for a fact as I was diagnosed with depression and went through talk therapy. The root cause is almost always so deeply seated we don't even realize it but it does control us through a smell or object or even and activity. Through talk therapy with a good psychologist you can find that root cause and learn to deal with it rather than have it blocked of deep in the recess of you mind.
You need to find a therapist you are comfortable with for you need to be able to tell she or him your deepest darkest secret comfortable in the knowledge that what is said in therapy stays in therapy. I went through three before finding one I was comfortable with.
If your employer has health insurance you should also have an EAP program. The EAP, Employee Assistance Program, can help you find a psychiatrist and psychologist. Most programs will also pay for the initial visit. Mine paid for the initial and first 8 visits with the psychologist and then my health insurance took over.
Hey im 14 and my family has this little japanese mini truck that i absolutly love to play aroumd in and would like to buy cosmetic items such as stickers and new seats and steerimg wheel and just all round express myself artistically with the truck. But when i confront my parents to buy the items on amazon my dad says no and talks about how the truck isnt a racecar and suuch. He even argues the fact im using my own money and that money should go to college. Any ideas on how to confront my parents about my hobby which they dont really approve of.
First the word “confronts" is argumentative. You won't win any battles with your parents being argumentative.
When I was your age we had a car that was 8 years old and had over 100,000 miles on it. It was just sitting unused in the driveway. The car wasn't in bad shape but it did need some work in order to pass inspection. My dad told me the car could be mine if I could make it street ready by the time I was old enough to drive. That gave me two years to fix the car.
I was able to do so by saving money from my paper route, mowing lawns and buying parts on the lay away plan. Your problem is a little different than mine was as the car was not in use. I get the impression this car is still being used by your dad so the problem is he may not want to drive around in a car looking like it should be racing in the NASCAR Camping World Series.
If this is the case then you are not going to win any concession from your dad as long as he is using the truck. What you can do is talk to dad about what his intentions are for the truck. Does he intend to keep it until it is no longer serviceable and junk it? Does he intend to trade it in on a new truck at some point?
Would he consider giving or selling the truck to you when you get your license?
Should dad be willing to give or sell you the truck? Then you can talk to him about how you would like to decorate the truck in your image and ask him if you could spend part of what you earn to start buying the decals and things you would want to display on the truck to store until it’s yours.
To decorate the truck to day is a battle you cannot win if dad is still using the truck. The best course of action I can suggest is to choose a course of action you can win which is one of a future action.
Hi. I have an issue. My family doesn't have that much money, and we might loose our house in September if we don't get a mortgage. I want to help out, but I'm only 13. I can't get a job. Babysitting doesn't pay enough, same with other little jobs. I try to turn off lights and save water and don't wash a lot of clothes, but I don't think it's helping. I don't want to move away from my friends, and we'd have to give up my dog. Please, please help.
I think it is admirable that you want to help your family out during this financially troubling time. The problem is that you are only 13 and legally there is nothing you can do to earn enough money to help them.
While this might sound trivial the best thing you can do for your parents at this time is exactly what your doing. Turning out lights and saving water are a big help as utilities are a big expense. You should also make sure not to ask for things they cannot afford to purchase at this time. Even school supplies just the bare minimum to get by with for the next month or so until they work through this problem.
Most importantly is not to add to their problems by getting into trouble at school or causing problems at home. As an adult and a parent and grandparent I can tell you that given the stress your parents may be under even a minor problem can cause you to receive a bigger penalty than the problem is worth because of the stress they may be under.
You can also help out by doing some extra things around the house. You're 13 old enough to use the kitchen equipment. Ask mom if you can help prepare dinner. Clear the dishes after dinner and clean up the kitchen. This gives mom and dad time to decompress and more time to think of how to resolve the problem.
Your school work though is most important. Get your homework done first. Then if there is time clean a room they way mom would so she doesn't have to. In five days you can clean a whole house and that is one less thing mom doesn't have to contend with.
Like I said these things sound trivial to you but if you can do them without your parents asking them of you they are not only great stress relievers for them. Mom and dad will take notice and be appreciative of your effort.
Your job really at this time is to help relieve any stress they have so they can concentrate on the problem and not to make any new problems for them.