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What's going on in his head?
This guy and I just started seeing each other like a week ago and last Saturday night he spent the night with me. We were at a mutual friends house and we slept on the couch together. It was great, I love feeling close to him after all the pain I've been put through in the past and I feel like I could trust him. But cuddling and kissing on the couch escalated quickly. With every touch it was like he waa asking permission. He knows what I've been through and I believe he is trying to make me comfortable with him? But it was all really fast at the same time. One minute I'm Laying beside him cuddling and the next I'm on top of him and he is kissing my neck and I know he wasn't trying to but he scared me. I made him stop and asked him if we could take a breather. He seemed fine, if not slightly disappointed. when he brought me home he texted me when he got back and kept apologizing and saying he didn't want to hurt me and that he wasn't sure anymore.... I'm so confused and I dont know what I did wrong
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First of all you did nothing wrong. Your body is your body and you decide how far you want to go sexually with anyone. Fortunately he was a good guy and when you called stop he stopped, that is a plus in his favor.You really have nothing to be confused over. Things went too far you became uncomfortable, you called a stop; this is your right.
I would interpret the line; "he got back and kept apologizing and saying he didn't want to hurt me and that he wasn't sure anymore." As for him; he may be confused as to whether or not he hurt a budding relationship with you and if so he is apologizing.
From what you have written it does not sound like he hurt whatever budding relationship was starting. I would suggest you text or call him, calling would be better, and discuss this with him. If you are not hurt by what happened tell him so. If you would like to see him again then tell him so ,if not then tell him that too.
You say you were hurt, I understand that. If you want this relationship to succeed then tell him what you need and how you would like to proceed to get over this hurt. Everyone needs time to heal and if the hurt is what I think it is you need time to trust again.
If he understands all this then you may have a keeper but you have to have a discussion with him so he knows where you are. In any successful relationship you have to be able to communicate be it a love relationship or business one.
I have been married 46 years. You don't stay married this long unless you can communicate to each other. I hope I have helped you.
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First of all you did nothing wrong. You simply did not feel comfortable moving forward with what was happening in that moment and asked him to stop. His reaction is normal as well. Like most guys he thought the kissing and cuddling would turn into something more and when it didn't he was a little disappointed. I think the best thing to do is to talk about it with him and just tell him you didn't feel comfortable going any further and that you hope hes k with that. If he is, Great! but if not then its k. Move at your own pace and don't let anyone make you do anything your not comfortable with intentionally or unintentionally. :)
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