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Stressed About Things With My Friend
Me - 25/F
Friend - 23/M
This might make me sound very childish and immature. That reasoning is why I am posting this question online, where I can be anonymous. As you can tell, I have a very over-analytical and I over think things all the time.
I have a friend who I know from college. We became friendly while working on a group project together, and we both graduated in May.
Last semester, we were both really busy and none of the same classes together, so we very seldom had a chance to talk to each other.
The two of us were both taking over 20 credits at that point. When we saw each other, we would always make an effort to talk to each other. During the times that I saw him I would make an effort to sit down by him and just talk to him about stuff. I really just loved being around him, it always put a smile on my face.
Around July, he started contacting me again. We had both started recently working new jobs after graduation.
Me as a Business Analyst, him as a Marketing Specialist.
Around then I told him what was going on with my boyfriend of five years, things were not going well for us and I still feel like things are not going well for us. I told him about how upset I was about everything and he suggested that I break up with him, because it sounded like a "bad situation" to him.
The Friday before Labor Day weekend, we started talking again. He invited me to go out drinking with his friends, and I told him that I would love to, but that I do not drive and thus I had no transportation. In order for me to go, I would have to have a ride.
Then on Labor Day, he texted me again. The two of us said Happy Labor Day, and I asked him he was still living with his parents to make conversation. He told me that he was and to come over. At this point, he had a few drinks in him.
Since I was worried about brushing him off, I said something that looking back was really weird and awkward. I said that he was a really nice guy, and that I really wanted to hang out with him, but that I don't have a car. The two of us could do something in my town, if he did not feel comfortable with picking me up. In response, he said nothing to that.
So, I told my best friend what was going on - since I tell him everything. As my best friend/ex boyfriend (not the same guy I was dating in July), he is my rock and I tell him everything in the world. I, also, told him that it was in my head, but I felt like my friend (the guy who I am talking about) wanted to sleep with me, and what I said to him. He agreed with a slightly more innocent version, that my friend wanted to go out with me, but that he was going about it very gently. At that point, he said that my response to him was a weird way to say that you wanted to hang out with someone.
So, the morning after I ask him if we we're cool. My phone told me that he read my message, but he never said anything back. Possibly, because he was busy yesterday, and by the time he wasn't, he forgot about it. Of course, I think that it means that maybe things aren't so cool.
At this point, it might make sense for you to ask me if I am interested in him. A part of me is, he's good looking, intelligent, I enjoy talking to him, and I think that he would pay more attention to me than my boyfriend currently does.
Is it a good point for me to go out with him? No, it's not. First, I am so confused with things with my boyfriend of five years.
We met when I was young. At one point, I wanted to do nothing but spend my future with him. Things have changed. He can't find a job. He'll ignore me for weeks at a time. We haven't seen each other since June. He lives very far away.
Of course, even if I were to end things with my boyfriend, I would probably be on the rebound. That means that my friend would get hurt.
At the same time, though, I just want to make sure that things are okay with us. What should I do? I do still want to be his friend, and possibly date him in the future... just not right now. Am I making a bunch of drama out of nothing?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I think you are both being very timid about dating maybe because you know each other to well and afraid to lose a friendship.
My advice is to ask him if he would like to go out with you. If he would your interested and would say yes to a date with him. That puts the game back in his ball park.
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