Obviously, you've learned from your mistakes, so I'm not going to lecture you on safe sex.

The first thing you need to do is to stop panicking. It can delay your period, which can make you panic even more, so it's best to just calm down and take things as they come.

Pre-cum can have sperm in it. It's just like regular semen, just with a really low sperm density. The odds against pregnancy are pretty huge even with a full ejaculation (about a 1/5 chance), but it's still a possibility. Just not a really big one.

If you just had sex, you can try to get your hands on some Plan B. It's pretty expensive (about 60 dollars) and can only be obtained with a prescription in some places (I live in Canada, and you can buy it without one). It's also really hard on your body. If it's taken within 24 hours of sex, it's really effective, though.

There is always money for a pregnancy test. It costs 10 bucks at a pharmacy... no need to go in to a doctor's office. Heck, you can get a couple, and it'll help verify results. It's better to know early so that you can make good decisions.

If you're going to continue to have sex, you should look into getting on birth control. There are all sorts of excuses you can use (like saying that you have really heavy periods, etc) and it's really not all that expensive. I know I can get it for 10 bucks a month at my school. You should also be using condoms. I know they're expensive, but having an unwanted pregnancy or an STI is far more expensive. If you can't afford protection, you can't afford sex. When you have sex with a person, you're having sex with everyone they've had sex with... and everyone those people have had sex with, and so on. Just because he's checked out clean doesn't mean he'll always be that way. He's having sex with other people, and who knows where they've been, right? Take care of yourself.

Chances are against it, but if you are pregnant, you have several options. You can choose to keep, adopt or abort. What you choose all depends on what your personal morals and situation direct you to. Yes, an abortion is expensive and emotionally difficult. However, it may be a better option for you than raising a child when you're not much more than a kid yourself. If you do choose to keep or adopt, you still need to make sure that you take good care of yourself during pregnancy and get the medical care you need.

I do know where you are coming from, as someone who has bipolar disorder and OCD, is 23 years old and has failed out of school repeatedly for the last 5 years.

First, you need to understand that your life is not irretrievable. Just because you are mentally ill does not mean that you can't live a relatively normal, productive, happy life doing what you want to. It takes a whole lot of effort, but you can turn your illness around and make it a positive thing.

If you feel that you are a danger to yourself, you need to go to the hospital emergency room and tell them so. Ask to be checked in to a psychiatric ward until you are stable again. I did it, and it kick-started my recovery like you wouldn't believe. It gives you time to rest and rebuild from the very beginning. You have nothing to focus on but getting treatment and getting better.

This is where you will find that your OCD can be a huge gift, oddly enough. I have problems with serious perfectionism myself. If I missed taking a pill, I would just stop, because it was all ruined and the imperfection made me anxious. However, you can spin this, as I've learned. Once I figured out how to channel my OCD, things got a lot better.

Go out and get yourself a daily planner. Stick to it like your life depends on it. Set alarms if you need to. I have an alarm that goes off when I need to take my meds. I haven't missed them in 3 months. I track everything in my planner... whether or not I exercised, what my mood was like, how much I slept, whether I took my pills or not. I write down everything that I need to do. Once it goes in the book, it is law.

I know that with depressive periods, it gets hard to leave the house, or to make it to appointments. It's a matter of forcing yourself at first. If it means scheduling the time up until it happens, then do it. Break it up into small, easily achievable tasks like showering or eating breakfast. Then just put one foot in front of another until you're there. I know it's easier said than done, but you need to do it for yourself.

Don't try to change too much at once. I know it's tempting to try and sort out your entire life in one big go, but it's not reasonable to expect that of yourself. Start small. If you shower every day, that's an achievement. If you get to work on time every day, that's another. If you get to an appointment, bake a cake, because that's a huge achievement. Celebrate everything that you do, because when you're depressed it IS a big deal.

You do need to talk to your parents. Let them know that your boyfriend has cheated on you, and that you're leaving him for the sake of your mental health. Ask both of them what their plans are for after the divorce, and see if you can stay with them so that you can save money for school. Be prepared to make definite plans, like setting aside a certain percentage of each paycheck, or even paying a little rent.

As for your education, it is possible. I'm not sure about student loans, or how much it costs to go to school in the UK (I'm in Canada) but there are options. I had to make the choice to switch to college instead of university because I couldn't afford a university tuition, especially the way I kept failing out. Go talk to the schools' financial offices to see what your options are for financial aid. You might be surprised. I know my school offers a work-study program, where you can work for the school for a pretty good wage.

I know you want to do everything, but you have to make choices. Again, OCD is a good thing here. Write out an organized, detailed comparison chart. Compare schools by programs, cost and whatever other factors. Find out what you're most passionate about and what will enable you to move out of the minimum wage level. Be realistic. A four year degree in arts won't get you much of anywhere on its own. A diploma in office administration will give you a bit of a salary bump, won't take too long and will get you out of the retail grind. That sort of thing. It might not be your dream job, but sometimes your dream job isn't exactly feasible. There's only room for so many beer tasters out there :P

One thing that has been a godsend for me over the last year is the discovery that mental illness is counted as a disability by schools. It means that as long as I am in treatment and under doctor supervision, I get certain accommodations to assist me in my studies. For instance, my absences are covered, in case I miss a test or a lab period due to a flare-up in symptoms. I also get extra time to write my exams, and I write in a different room. This helps me with my need to reread and rewrite answers. I also am eligible for extensions on assignments, for the same reason. This really helps when it comes to trying to juggle treatment with living.

Whatever you do, stay alive. Nobody, and no amount of failure is worth ending your life. There is always a chance to redeem yourself and to do things right.

Sorry for not answering a lot sooner... usually I keep on top of Advicenators, but my modem broke and I didn't have internet access for 2 weeks. I'm back, though.

It definitely does count as a disability. I had trouble figuring it out myself, but when you look at it there are ways that it would seriously impact your success in the academic and working world.

One thing I did forget to mention is that you only get the accommodations so long as you're under a doctor's care. That means you can't just forgo treatment in favour of receiving accommodations. The whole point is to ease your treatment, not to substitute it out.

To see what kind of accommodations are available, talk to your school guidance counselor. They will be able to help pull some strings and get you what you need. You will need medical documentation to prove that you need the accommodations.

I know it seems totally unnecessary, but it's very different from special education. In fact, I have a genius-level IQ. I was in enrichment classes up until high school. It's not a matter of not understanding the work, it's a matter of having difficulty in actually doing it. So it's not like special ed. Would you tell a blind student that they can't write an exam because they won't be able to read it? The blind student will do the same amount of work, but they will get special accommodations. Same deal.

I write my tests in another room so that I can get extra time (time and a half) to write them. I need the extra time because I have OCD, and I need to read and reread all the questions, check all my answers multiple times and rewrite any answers that look sloppy. Same goes for homework. Sometimes I need extra time because an assignment that should take a half hour takes three hours if I'm not in tip top shape. I am working on treating my OCD, but I'm not at the level where I can deal with it under high pressure.

I also get covered for absences. For the most part I'm okay, but recently I needed a medication adjustment for my bipolar disorder. For two weeks leading up to it and two weeks after, I was a wreck. I either wasn't sleeping or I was sleeping 18 hours a day. I couldn't focus on schoolwork, or anything for that matter. Because I have the accommodations in place, I don't fail entire terms because of situations like that any more. Usually, I'm okay, but I am still in the process of figuring out what my treatment dosage should be, and it's pretty tumultuous. Again, it's a hand-up, not a hand-out.

And actually, you're incorrect about not getting special treatment in the working world. Right now, I'm working with an occupational therapist. He works with people who are in school or the working world who need help fitting their illness in around their lives. An employer can't fire you for taking a disability related leave. He makes sure that you can get the accommodations you need while you deal with overcoming your illness.

Keep in mind that it's not a permanent thing. It's not like I'll always need special accommodations. I just need to be able to live life while I sort myself out, and this allows me to do so. I've tried to do things without any assistance, and because of it I've failed out of school and had serious lapses in treatment for the last 5 years. Now, with proper support, I'm finally making headway in living with a mental illness, and it's not so bad.

It sounds to me like you might be allergic to something in the pad. I've had that problem in the past, to the point where I gave up on wearing them because every time I got used to a new brand, they'd go and change it up.

I think the one that's been pretty safe for me is Stayfree. Make sure you don't get a scented one, because often those cause problems.

Also, I recently used a Kotex U pad in a pinch, and it didn't do anything.

If you're freaked out about tampons because of the risk of TSS, then I would definitely suggest my method of choice: the Diva Cup. It's a smallish silicone cup that you insert twice a day. You rinse it out and boil it at the end of your cycle. It's good for use for an entire year, and it's better for the environment. Also, you can forget about it for 12 hours, which is pretty sweet.

http://www.divacup.com/

You can buy condoms at any age, so long as you have the money.

Sure, a teenager buying condoms means they're going to have sex, but more importantly it means they're going to have responsible sex. If they were to restrict condom purchases, that would be counterproductive... people wouldn't have less sex, they'd just have more risky sex.

If he has a girlfriend, you need to stay away. Trying to tempt away another girl's boyfriend is unethical. If you do try, even if you don't succeed, people will think badly of you.

For now, be satisfied with being friends with him. If their relationship ends, then you can move in. In the meantime, there are plenty of available guys out there!

I'm going to warn you in advance. The advice you want isn't always the advice you get. This is the risk you run when you ask for advice. You probably don't want to hear what I have to say, but you need to hear it.

This is going to sound overly harsh, but both of you are acting like children. However, you have an excuse. He doesn't.

You see, any 19 year old guy worth his salt wouldn't be interested in a 13 year old girl. He's into you because he's got the maturity of your average pre-teen. The reason why adults don't date children (or young teens) is because they don't (or shouldn't) have anything in common with them. He's stunted, emotionally.

And yes, you know what? It is illegal. He's lucky that your mother hasn't had him arrested for statutory rape. He's been in jail once, so clearly he's not the highest quality person. If you don't see a problem with this, then your perspective needs adjusting.

If you were an adult, this is what I'd tell you:

Giving him the silent treatment, deleting him from MySpace, these are all tactics that adults don't use. When an adult has a problem with someone, they confront it in a mature, constructive manner. He probably lost patience with your mind games and is giving you a taste of your own medicine.

However, you're still a kid! You can't be held to the same standards. He's always going to expect more out of you than you can give, at least until you reach your full adult form.

Don't bother with trying to figure out where your relationship stands. He doesn't respect you, as you can tell by his readiness to desert you for the first easily available piece of tail that walks by him. He thinks he can walk all over you because you're young and impressionable. You deserve better than that. He's using you. He doesn't have any interest in developing a real relationship with you, because you're a kid and he's not.

Ditch the loser and find someone who treats you right.

Music, music, music!

I have a special playlist for working out and cleaning, and I put it on full blast while I work. Singing along and dancing makes it a whole lot more fun.

I also like to break down tasks and give a time limit to each one. Like, I have 15 minutes to clean the bathroom top to bottom. Then it becomes a race, and I'm less inclined to dawdle and get distracted. Also, it tends to go a lot faster that way.

Don't worry. It's not about checking to see who's secretly a homicidal maniac ;) It's about seeing what your responses to anger and stress are.

Unless you're a serious danger to others or yourself, you can't be committed against your will, with the exception of your parents making the decision to do so while being backed up by a doctor. And honestly, at your age how many people haven't been seriously, violently angry with their family? We'd be locking up the lot of teenagers if that were the case! At this point, hospitalizing you against your will would do more harm than good. No psych worth his salt would lock you up without having seen you several times.

And lastly, having stayed in a psychiatric ward for a few weeks, I can tell you that you're not chained up in the nuthouse. It's actually incredibly relaxing. Someone else does all the hard work. You take a break from school, family and the real world. So maybe not all that bad? :P

You don't have to vow celibacy forever just yet. You're still young, and have all the time in the world to get your romantic life sorted out.

You are right, though: you're not ready to date right now because you're not emotionally stable enough to sustain a relationship. Going through the suicide of a boyfriend and your own attempt would break anyone.

Are you currently seeking counselling? A good counselor can help you to make sense of everything that has happened, and help you to take steps to put your life back in order.

Once you can make it on your own, then it's time to open up and share your life with another person. So no, you don't have to swear off dating forever, but a one or two year hiatus would do you a world of good.

You've made some very adult decisions when it comes to what you do. Not good decisions, but you have the right to choose to make mistakes.

However, that right comes with a great deal of responsibility when it comes to the consequences. You've made your proverbial bed... now comes the fun part.

You're seeing what happens when you make bad choices. What you do with these consequences is up to you. Do you want to continue to live your life like this? Chances are that on this path, you'll end up on harder drugs, end up a teen pregnancy, get one or more STIs, get raped or worse. In and out of juvie... is that how you want to live? You only have until age 18 to sort yourself out, and changes can't be made overnight.

Running away won't solve anything. You'll be the same you, just somewhere else. If you're under 16, you'll be sought after by police and returned home. If you're over 16, you'll still worry your family sick, and they'll likely still send police out looking.

Where will you live? To rent an apartment you have to be at least 18. Even if you find a place, usually they require a deposit and references. How will you support yourself? Honest work is out, because of your criminal record, unless you can find someone to pay you under the table without a SSN. Are you going to be a panhandler, living on the streets? An illegal underage sex worker? Those are traps that, statistically, you'll never get out of. There's no future.

Things can still change. You're young. There's a whole future ahead of you if you make the right decisions for yourself. This may mean doing things you don't quite want to.

Stay and deal with the legal stuff for now. If they offer you an out in any way, you jump on it like a fat kid on cake. Addictions treatment? Heck yes. Just make sure that you actually go through with it (even though pot is non-addictive... LOL). If it means never smoking weed again, so be it. Remember, this is your whole future we're talking about here. Is it worth giving up a few puffs here and there? I'd say so.

Here's where I mention that I'm actually pro-marijuana. I don't have an agenda that I'm trying to push on you. I believe it should be legalized, and I think it's far less harmful than alcohol. Then again, there's a big difference between being a social drinker and an alcoholic. If you're smoking weed all the time, there's a problem. It's a sometimes thing ;) However, for you, it might need to become a never thing because you will be under constant surveillance from here on in because of your history with it. Unfortunate, but true. That's why I'm advocating giving it up.

Try making some constructive changes. Volunteer for a day. Start exercising regularly. Eat right. Just little things that will help make your life a little bit better. Find a hobby that won't land you in prison. Build a life around something other than drugs, police and sex. You'd be surprised at how much fun you can have, even when you're dead sober.

Use this as a now-or-never chance to get your life on track. Think of where you want to be in a year, 5 years, 20 years, and think of how you can make that happen. Put your best face forward, and things will start to get better. It will take time, but you've got that in spades.

Oh goodness. I went to my very first nightclub recently, and it was just like this.

The only explanation I can think of is that they're trying to use pick-up artist techniques on you. Yes, there are guys who suggest being rude and insulting to women to get them in bed. And for some reason, it works on the dumber specimens of our sex.

You've got to be snippy right back at them. Make them look as small as they're acting. If they say "Your friend is way _____ than you", then say something along the lines of "Wow, you are so right. You know what else? Thanks to that little insight, you don't have a chance with either of us. Have a great night."

Your friends need to back you up. They can't be paying attention to guys who are nasty to you in front of them. If your friends are too flattered by the perceived compliment to them, you've got to find new friends to go out with.

He had 'perfect' girlfriends before you... but you know what? He's not with them for a reason, and he's with you for a reason.

He's known you for a long time. As such, he knows about your positive and negative assets, and he doesn't let that get to him and scare him away from dating you. That's a good thing in my books.

My fiance's ex-girlfriend was hot. She was petite, good-looking, and his mom loved her because she was quiet and subservient. I'm overweight, not all that attractive, and I speak my mind and don't let anyone tell me what to do. His mom hates me, but for some weird reason he loves me in spite of all this, or even because of it!

A good guy will love your quirks because they're a part of you. Don't feel like you're less than his last girlfriend, because he chose you over her.

Sounds like a regular sore throat. Strep is easy to recognize because your tonsils will swell up and develop white spots on them. You'll also see worse symptoms like dizziness, fatigue and fever.

I basically live on popsicles, sorbet, herbal tea and NeoCitran (Theraflu if you're American) when I have a sore throat. Stick to soft foods like applesauce, soup and the like. Stay away from anything sugary or carbonated.

If you had a brother, would you worry about him hitting on you just because he likes girls?

If you let her know that you are 100% straight, she won't hit on you. Best friends are like sisters. She won't jeopardize your friendship.

Her telling you about her bisexuality is a huge deal. It means that she trusts you and wants to be honest with you. It means that she trusts you to be her friend and to not judge her. Keep that in mind when you're making decisions and judgments.

Have you ever watched Jerry Springer? From what I can tell, the point is pretty similar.

Basically, it's a way to watch other people acting like idiots. You get to feel superior for an hour because at least you're not like them. If it's not working on you, that's because you don't need that little ego boost.

I compare it to a train wreck. You just can't stop watching, because it's unbelievable that grown people can act so stupid and trashy.

Your problem is very likely linked to both.

The water pills will take water from anywhere in your body to fulfill their quota. The weather will also cause your skin to get dry.

The best ways to fix this are to start using a lotion and to stop taking water pills. Instead, try drinking tons of water, eliminating soda, eating lots of fibre and keeping your salt intake down. That will work wonders for bloating. I've lost as much as 10 lbs in 2 days just by increasing my water intake. When you're dehydrated, your body will compensate by retaining water and bloating.

So, you've accepted his invitation to homecoming, and you've declined a date because you had other plans. How is the poor guy supposed to read from these responses that you're not interested in him?

You've got to be upfront with him. Let him know that you're not interested in starting a romantic relationship with him, but that you love being friends with him. It might hurt him temporarily, but it's a lot better than leading him along accidentally.

There's no such thing as too young to masturbate.

Lots of toddlers accidentally end up discovering masturbation! It feels good, and there's no way that you can hurt anything. However, some religious groups are against it. My opinion (as an atheist) is that religions are created by people. It's up to you and your relationship with your higher power to decide what you do with your life, not some guys who made arbitrary rules.

Masturbation is healthy and normal. It is a fantastic way of taking care of sexual urges without putting yourself at risk of pregnancy or STIs (that's right... you can't get pregnant from masturbation!) and it also helps you to get to know your body, which will come in really handy once you do start having sex.

When I started in engineering at university, there was a great initiation for us. If you can pull it off, it's great... harmless, too!

We were told that there was a diagnostic test to see what level we were at in math. We weren't supposed to study, just show up and write.

Fast forward to our test date. We're all piled into classrooms. In each classroom there were older students planted and acting like freshmen. The instructor was really tough on us, telling us about how any hint of cheating would get us kicked out or expelled.

We get our tests, and the first few questions were pretty easy. Then they started getting harder (eventually up to 4th year thermodynamics!) so that there was no way you could answer them. At one point, the instructor threw out one student and ripped up their test, and later on, one girl got up and ran away shouting that she couldn't take it any more (those were the planted seniors).

Eventually, a huge group of seniors came running into the classroom, shouting and ripped up test papers. Then we all went and did activities.

It was really funny, and we were all tricked. There was a real sense of bonding between all of us after that!

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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